Anger running rampant when im in church

Zeth4500 · May 12, 2024

hey, so im engaged and we have our ups and downs, but just today for the entire time i was attending church, basically from the moment i entered the church my brain just exploded with anger towards my fiancé
we have some issues going such as her not respecting me and her failing to follow through on what shes saying she will do and virtually never having time to spend with me - seemingly all by choice, and i get its justified for me to be angry about this especially after having talked about it so many times and seeing no improvement - but, the real question im asking here is... isnt the church a holy place where no demons can enter and affect our thinking? it just felt so unnatural like there was an outside influence making my thoughts get so much more extreme
is it demons or angels siding with me? can an angel ever make you feel angry - is anger ever justified? maybe it was because she was supposed to go to church today but couldnt be bothered to drive 20 minutes to nearby town to attend (we live apart) and i was sitting in the church at the same time she was supposed to go to church herself
i kept asking god and jesus to take the burden out of my mind but nothing was happening, like a river flowing and drowning out anything but just anger. i do have anger in general but this was just a rare level, and this all going down while i was sitting in church just seems so weird to me.

JohnDB · May 12, 2024

So...
You do not have to remain engaged.

If your relationship at this point is causing this much anger....do not continue the relationship.

Spyder · May 12, 2024

Marriage is a covenant between a man, a woman, and God.

A friend of mine said: "Eve was created after the seventh day of creation week. Genesis 2:18,22 Therefore woman is the very last creation of Yahweh. If we men are honest, Yahweh saved the best for last. Is it any wonder that we love them? Proverbs 5:19 , Hebrews 13:4 , Ephesians 5:25,28 If a man truly loves his wife in the Godly way and the wife understands this then she will not have any problems with the husband's God given role as head of the house. This is Yahweh's order of things. Ephesians 5:23"

If has been proven many times that we should not expect a person to become what we want AFTER the wedding. They should be what we want before it and then to continue to be afterwards.

Perhaps you are receiving a message that you should pay attention to?

Zeth4500 · May 12, 2024

Spyder said:
Marriage is a covenant between a man, a woman, and God.

A friend of mine said: "Eve was created after the seventh day of creation week. Genesis 2:18,22 Therefore woman is the very last creation of Yahweh. If we men are honest, Yahweh saved the best for last. Is it any wonder that we love them? Proverbs 5:19 , Hebrews 13:4 , Ephesians 5:25,28 If a man truly loves his wife in the Godly way and the wife understands this then she will not have any problems with the husband's God given role as head of the house. This is Yahweh's order of things. Ephesians 5:23"

If has been proven many times that we should not expect a person to become what we want AFTER the wedding. They should be what we want before it and then to continue to be afterwards.

Perhaps you are receiving a message that you should pay attention to?

so you believe the angels are righteously allowing me to be furious in gods house and that its not evil spirits?
i totally agree that the man should have the upper hand, we are however both dominant and i know she will be miserable if i forcefully dominate her- but she did tell me she feels irritated when i tell her what to do, like telling her how to deal with her boss that havent paid her salary for almost 2 months now

Stumpmaster · May 12, 2024

Zeth4500 said:
hey, so im engaged and we have our ups and downs, but just today for the entire time i was attending church, basically from the moment i entered the church my brain just exploded with anger towards my fiancé
we have some issues going such as her not respecting me and her failing to follow through on what shes saying she will do and virtually never having time to spend with me - seemingly all by choice, and i get its justified for me to be angry about this especially after having talked about it so many times and seeing no improvement - but, the real question im asking here is... isnt the church a holy place where no demons can enter and affect our thinking? it just felt so unnatural like there was an outside influence making my thoughts get so much more extreme
is it demons or angels siding with me? can an angel ever make you feel angry - is anger ever justified? maybe it was because she was supposed to go to church today but couldnt be bothered to drive 20 minutes to nearby town to attend (we live apart) and i was sitting in the church at the same time she was supposed to go to church herself
i kept asking god and jesus to take the burden out of my mind but nothing was happening, like a river flowing and drowning out anything but just anger. i do have anger in general but this was just a rare level, and this all going down while i was sitting in church just seems so weird to me.

Some questions:

You have an Eastern Orthodox symbol as your avatar but does that mean you and your fiancé are in that denomination?

Have you and your fiancé been going to pre-marriage counselling in preparation for your wedding?

Have you done a Bible Study from the Internet or AI on Christian Anger Management?

Respect is essential in a marriage, and it is two-way street. Slip your fiancé a nice note letting her know you don't appreciate being ridiculed, but never give her an ultimatum if you want to stay in the relationship.

Gal 5:16-23 I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. (17) For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. (18) But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. (19) Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, (20) idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, (21) envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. (22) But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, (23) gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.

Rockerduck · May 12, 2024

I've had similar matters happen in church. It is God bringing this out in you. You must end this relationship and pray to God for a good mate. God did that for me. Your blood pressure is too high, by the way. lol

In Christ

Zeth4500 · May 12, 2024

Stumpmaster said:
View attachment 45031
Some questions:

You have an Eastern Orthodox symbol as your avatar but does that mean you and your fiancé are in that denomination?

Have you and your fiancé been going to pre-marriage counselling in preparation for your wedding?

Have you done a Bible Study from the Internet or AI on Christian Anger Management?

Respect is essential in a marriage, and it is two-way street. Slip your fiancé a nice note letting her know you don't appreciate being ridiculed, but never give her an ultimatum if you want to stay in the relationship.

Gal 5:16-23 I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. (17) For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. (18) But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. (19) Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, (20) idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, (21) envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. (22) But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, (23) gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.

she is not as strictly christian as i am no, she does pray daily in the morning but to her praying at home is fine. im finding some writings online explaining that once we are becoming one flesh, that in our partner that we dont relate to will irritate us more as it kills the oneness. i must declare that she appears to be suffering from ADHD which makes time management and some other mature aspects more difficult. she is extremely kind, to the point that shes a people pleaser and she is easily manipulated by third parties who will take up as much of her time as possible - ive voiced that i feel irrelevant and not as priority many times and she agrees that her man should always be her number one priority. due to some malfunctions in the european laws we will first be having our wedding in a few years, though we wish to get married soon - maybe in 3 months or so.

you mention a bible study- that sounds a bit vague to me, you mean studied the entire bible online? i believe i went through the entirity of it using audio when i was travelling a lot for work and i always seek advice from other christians or christian sources, any habit i have i weigh by a christian perspective and i have become virtually free of sin. i really do worry for her not going to church as i believe women are especially prone to negative energies and that they will naturally try to attack me through her.

as for counseling, due to us living apart and many other issues i have yet to bring her to couseling, i dont believe we have real premarital counseling where i live but i would like to take her with me to a very brilliant psychologist that ive used in the past - i think premarital counseling is more of an american thing, i believe seeing some about it on TV earlier in my life.

im reading into releasing anger- and its difficult to release it as just me typing out my struggles here is against what she wants, she never talks to other people about our relationship problems and she believes we should solve it all on our own and feel betrayed when i speak to others about it or seek advice- but how can i when shes unavailable even on a sunday? usually just praying to god will solve my anger right away, even just drawing a cross solves road rage same second, but when i was sitting in church there was not the tiniest of dent in the anger i was experiencing and the thoughts ruminating in my mind, was the anger in this case a gift from above, in gods house? im trying to figure out if my anger is righteous or not

Zeth4500 · May 12, 2024

Rockerduck said:
I've had similar matters happen in church. It is God bringing this out in you. You must end this relationship and pray to God for a good mate. God did that for me. Your blood pressure is too high, by the way. lol

In Christ

worrying, i would have married her long ago if it wasnt for european circumstances- i consider everything about her to be exactly perfect for me, apart from some parts of her personality and i dont believe i would have another relationship if breaking apart from this woman

Pearl · May 12, 2024

Zeth4500 said:
hey, so im engaged and we have our ups and downs, but just today for the entire time i was attending church, basically from the moment i entered the church my brain just exploded with anger towards my fiancé
we have some issues going such as her not respecting me and her failing to follow through on what shes saying she will do and virtually never having time to spend with me - seemingly all by choice, and i get its justified for me to be angry about this especially after having talked about it so many times and seeing no improvement - but, the real question im asking here is... isnt the church a holy place where no demons can enter and affect our thinking? it just felt so unnatural like there was an outside influence making my thoughts get so much more extreme
is it demons or angels siding with me? can an angel ever make you feel angry - is anger ever justified? maybe it was because she was supposed to go to church today but couldnt be bothered to drive 20 minutes to nearby town to attend (we live apart) and i was sitting in the church at the same time she was supposed to go to church herself
i kept asking god and jesus to take the burden out of my mind but nothing was happening, like a river flowing and drowning out anything but just anger. i do have anger in general but this was just a rare level, and this all going down while i was sitting in church just seems so weird to me.

Sounds to me like when you entered the church building you got to see clearly what your fiancée is really like. So now you have a choice to make. Let that anger you felt spur you on to make the right choice in a calm and prayerful way.

My son got into a relationship with a woman such as you have described and couldn't untangle himself from her. Even after they split up she still had a hold on him, so my advice to you is to make the break sooner rather than later. You have seen what she is like, God has shown you.

She sounds like my son's ex who has a personality disorder bordering on narcissism. It's her way or no way. No real love and no respect whatsoever.

Augustin56 · May 12, 2024

Zeth4500 said:
hey, so im engaged and we have our ups and downs, but just today for the entire time i was attending church, basically from the moment i entered the church my brain just exploded with anger towards my fiancé
we have some issues going such as her not respecting me and her failing to follow through on what shes saying she will do and virtually never having time to spend with me - seemingly all by choice, and i get its justified for me to be angry about this especially after having talked about it so many times and seeing no improvement - but, the real question im asking here is... isnt the church a holy place where no demons can enter and affect our thinking? it just felt so unnatural like there was an outside influence making my thoughts get so much more extreme
is it demons or angels siding with me? can an angel ever make you feel angry - is anger ever justified? maybe it was because she was supposed to go to church today but couldnt be bothered to drive 20 minutes to nearby town to attend (we live apart) and i was sitting in the church at the same time she was supposed to go to church herself
i kept asking god and jesus to take the burden out of my mind but nothing was happening, like a river flowing and drowning out anything but just anger. i do have anger in general but this was just a rare level, and this all going down while i was sitting in church just seems so weird to me.

Keep in mind that our emotions are nothing more than chemical reactions in the brain. And, they can be manipulated by others, if we allow them to do so. Satan and his demons can tempt us to sin though some combination of our imagination, our emotion, and our memory. We are at war, not between flesh and blood, but between principalities and powers, light and darkness, good and evil. Fight back. Refuse to give in to your emotions. Live by your intellecct, wherein love resides. Love is not a feeling. It is an act of the will, which resides in the intellect.

Zeth4500 · May 12, 2024

Pearl said:
Sounds to me like when you entered the church building you got to see clearly what your fiancée is really like. So now you have a choice to make. Let that anger you felt spur you on to make the right choice in a calm and prayerful way.

My son got into a relationship with a woman such as you have described and couldn't untangle himself from her. Even after they split up she still had a hold on him, so my advice to you is to make the break sooner rather than later. You have seen what she is like, God has shown you.

She sounds like my son's ex who has a personality disorder bordering on narcissism. It's her way or no way. No real love and no respect whatsoever.

yes vulnerable narcissism, ADHD and BPD are all viable to take into consideration, she does seem to be genuinely apologetic however. attempting to explain her what happened today made her snap into her routine of attempting to assert dominance by threatening to break up because she dont wanna argue

SavedInHim · May 12, 2024

Zeth4500 said:
hey, so im engaged and we have our ups and downs, but just today for the entire time i was attending church, basically from the moment i entered the church my brain just exploded with anger towards my fiancé
we have some issues going such as her not respecting me and her failing to follow through on what shes saying she will do and virtually never having time to spend with me - seemingly all by choice, and i get its justified for me to be angry about this especially after having talked about it so many times and seeing no improvement - but, the real question im asking here is... isnt the church a holy place where no demons can enter and affect our thinking? it just felt so unnatural like there was an outside influence making my thoughts get so much more extreme
is it demons or angels siding with me? can an angel ever make you feel angry - is anger ever justified? maybe it was because she was supposed to go to church today but couldnt be bothered to drive 20 minutes to nearby town to attend (we live apart) and i was sitting in the church at the same time she was supposed to go to church herself
i kept asking god and jesus to take the burden out of my mind but nothing was happening, like a river flowing and drowning out anything but just anger. i do have anger in general but this was just a rare level, and this all going down while i was sitting in church just seems so weird to me.

Get out. I can't see this ending well.

Zeth4500 · May 12, 2024

Augustin56 said:
Keep in mind that our emotions are nothing more than chemical reactions in the brain. And, they can be manipulated by others, if we allow them to do so. Satan and his demons can tempt us to sin though some combination of our imagination, our emotion, and our memory. We are at war, not between flesh and blood, but between principalities and powers, light and darkness, good and evil. Fight back. Refuse to give in to your emotions. Live by your intellecct, wherein love resides. Love is not a feeling. It is an act of the will, which resides in the intellect.

yes, but they may also highlight importance as they stem from somewhere. our emotions are always valid

since i had my last birthday, which i promised to god i would only reach in case i was given a woman worth keeping around, things have been going downhill, almost as if she had a best-before date, which was exactly before that birthday. we moved a lot closer on that exact day, and she had absolutely no time for me on my birthday, naturally an argument ensued. she is very beautiful, top to bottom- but i decided to give her my last chance at relationship because of her personality. i bombarded her with serious questions and she seemed to share a brilliant traditional mindset. she was a victim of narcissistic abuse, and it seems whatever bit her stuck around. she has 2 personalities and when the second one comes out im hurt for days afterwards and shes apologetic. but what is an apology if it bears no fruit? there have been many times where i would have broken up if it had been any other relationship, but this time i decided it will be my last relationship, and we have settled many disagreements because of my dedication.
therapy is a good idea, but i think rather she needs an exorcism, she has dabbled in spirituality and practiced lots of yoga. shes an extremely kind person, a true people pleaser- but it seems that she prefers to please third parties over her own fiancé. shes too anxious to have boundaries with other people. but what is loyalty if she can neglect her own man for someone she isnt related to even?
im trying to remain faithful but this world is just so very absurd and evil at times. i pray. i meditate. i question every move i make to make sure its not an offense to the lord.

she claims shes doing her best, thats her words but she wont even involve me in how she plots her days, even if it means she will be completely cut off from me the whole day. i stopped trusting her promises some time ago but it still disappoints me when she has an excuse. i thought at one point she had another man, but she really dont. i let it pass, because i dont wanna break this one thing out of suspicion. i hate this guessing game of intention, i know that shes a good person deep down but im also aware she has sadistic tendencies.

TLHKAJ · May 12, 2024

@Zeth4500 A building is just a building. It doesn't save anyone, nor is it off limits to demonic presence, especially if those who enter bring demons with them. Just because you're in a church building doesn't mean everyone who steps into that building actually serves God. The anger you were overcome by had to have a place within you to latch on to. Ask the Lord where that root is within you that allowed anger to overcome you.

TLHKAJ · May 12, 2024

TLHKAJ said:
@Zeth4500 A building is just a building. It doesn't save anyone, nor is it off limits to demonic presence, especially if those who enter bring demons with them. Just because you're in a church building doesn't mean everyone who steps into that building actually serves God. The anger you were overcome by had to have a place within you to latch on to. Ask the Lord where that root is within you that allowed anger to overcome you.

@Zeth4500 and as far as the relationship with your fiance, I would strongly advise that you initiate a time apart to seek the Lord and grow in your relationship with Him (not by doing or trying to work or earn His love, but by just spending time in His presence, getting to know Him intimately, through conversation and through His Word). And I would suggest that you urge your fiance to do the same. You cannot have a strong marriage without a firm foundation in Christ.

GTW27 · May 12, 2024

TLHKAJ said:
@Zeth4500 A building is just a building. It doesn't save anyone, nor is it off limits to demonic presence, especially if those who enter bring demons with them. Just because you're in a church building doesn't mean everyone who steps into that building actually serves God. The anger you were overcome by had to have a place within you to latch on to. Ask the Lord where that root is within you that allowed anger to overcome you.

The ole turn the molehill into a mountain demonic trick. And what does the enemy gain by this, division and fear to go to church.

Hepzibah · May 12, 2024

If she is suffering from trauma due to either early childhood or a relationship with a narcissist, she needs to take part in a healing program for perhaps a year before a marriage. There are some really good trauma teachers/psychologists online who she can work with as well as a therapist Though they are not easy to find. Much harm can be done by them. A lot of research is needed along with guidance from the Lord. Do not marry where there is no peace about it.

TLHKAJ · May 12, 2024

GTW27 said:
The ole turn the molehill into a mountain demonic trick. And what does the enemy gain by this, division and fear to go to church.

Matthew 9:12-13
[12]But when Jesus heard that, he said unto them, They that be whole need not a physician, but they that are sick.
[13]But go ye and learn what that meaneth, I will have mercy, and not sacrifice: for I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.

Zeth4500 · May 12, 2024

Hepzibah said:
If she is suffering from trauma due to either early childhood or a relationship with a narcissist, she needs to take part in a healing program for perhaps a year before a marriage. There are some really good trauma teachers/psychologists online who she can work with as well as a therapist Though they are not easy to find. Much harm can be done by them. A lot of research is needed along with guidance from the Lord. Do not marry where there is no peace about it.

i believe a difficult hurdle is that she worships her mother, she knows her mother did wrong things to her. but to me as long as she wont blame her mother for having done wrong to her, she will see her as a perfect rolemodel and not break the abusive patterns. the abuse also messed up her selfesteem, any slightly negative remark towards her family will turn her hostile immediatedly- to me that just feels like her mother is higher priority than i am, that my views are invalid, and if theyre invalid i must be incompetent and not worthy of respect
there are issues with jealousy, and best bet (although its all rooted in insecurity) would be desensitization therapy or "experiments" - exposure to a phobia followed by positive outcome
narcissists seem to infect people, and the abused knows the abusive methods are hurtful, so they will try to utilize the techniques to empower themselves

@TLHKAJ i absolutely agree that its the best option to ask the lord for guidance and assistance in difficult times, we are both convinced it was gods will that had our paths cross as it was unlikely in so many ways, i guess her procrastination in the lord is what infuriates me, because i know she is vulnerable in so many ways without connection to upstairs.

Hepzibah · May 12, 2024

I'm sorry but she sounds nowhere near healed enough to take part in a marriage and even less in raising children.

Anger running rampant when im in church

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