deprofundis

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Personal Statement of Faith: As a child, I was raised with faith and, I suppose, believed, but I didn't really feel a deep, spiritual connection. As I grew older, in my teenage years, I first came to realize the frequent horrors, tragedies, and other grim realities of our world, my faith was shaken and I turned, for a time, to atheism. However, it was fundamentally unsatisfying and a result of my own unhappiness, which it served only to magnify. A few events led me to, eventually, reject atheism; first, my mother arguing that scientific theories (such as evolution) and the existence of God are not mutually exclusive, by any means; secondly, at a particularly desolate time of misery, I read Anna Karenina, and was struck with the same realization as Levin, namely that faith is what gives life meaning and there is a fundamental hope for goodness and salvation in the world, even if it often seems buried under the evil, and, moreover, that goodness can only prevail through good deeds, and my sorrow was self-serving. I don't know that I realized I believed again, and more deeply, until the death of a friend; while I was deeply saddened by her death, I was strangely comforted, and discovered that, without any conscious thought on the matter, I truly believed she was in a better place.