Young Marriages: Lets look at it biblically

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Wynona

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Young people are discouraged from getting married but this is worldliness.

Paul, in 1 Corinthians 7 discusses marriage in these terms:

But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry.

If the woman is old enough, let the man go ahead and marry her!

My opinion is that we over complicate this for worldly reasons.

1. They need education/finances in order first!

Can we talk? The standard for living in the U.S is super high. There is nothing wrong with young couples going ahead and getting married because, though they may start out relatively poor, they don't necessarily stay that way.

I would argue that marriage can provide a stable backdrop for both college education and a career.

2. They need time to be immature/sow their wild oats!

The Bible tells us to conduct ourselves with self-control. In fact, just a few generations ago, young marriages around the ages of 17 and 18 were the norm. Why do we have such low expectations of late teenagers and even people in their twenties now? Standards have lowered and its not good.

3. The flavors.

"We need to test if we're sexually compatible!"

"How could I possibly know what I want without a string of unsuccessful relationships???"

4. The high divorce rate.

Look, back in the day, people got married younger and divorced less often. Could it be that having less relational baggage correlates to having more successful marriages? I think so.

Here are some reasons why marriage shouldn't always be put off.

1. You want to behave Holy.

Paul said it is better to marry than to burn with lust. When you're serious about someone, committment is what should follow.

2. Its unrealistic to expect the majority of people to abstain from sex until their thirties.

3. It causes maturation.

4. Fornication is a real problem.


Not everyone supported my marriage to my husband. He was 19. I was 20. My parents acted like I was throwing myself into marriage way too soon.

But I don't regret our actions because we were serious about each other and it was the right thing to do. Simple as that.

From there we were forced to grow up in a way that was often painful but now we look back fondly on because we are way better people now that we've gone through the sandpaper process of learning to deal with one another. God has blessed us and we are not as poor as when we started. But its okay to start out that way and even be that way for a while.

Im sure some will disagree: maybe someone who's waited for decades for the right person or someone who feels like they aren't ready to be married. Thats okay.

My point is that it shouldn't be abnormal for young couples to marry. Especially Christian ones. If a young person is thinking they're old enough for sex but too young for marriage, Id challenge that.
 

tsr

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As with marriages in all age groups, however, the divorce rate among young couples is still somewhere around 50%. According to the Pew Research Center, the number of people (male and female) age 25 and older today who have never been married is significantly higher than it was in the 1960s:

The world of marriage for young couples today is significantly different than it was a generation ago, when their parents were tying the knot and starting to have kids. Perhaps most significantly, fewer people today between the ages of 25 and 34 have ever been married, and those who do marry generally marry later in life than couples did in previous decades.

The average employed woman has only a two percent chance of getting divorced by the time she's 30, a 19 percent chance by 50, and a 38 percent chance at 72 and over. So, despite the depressing statistics you may ordinarily hear, the odds are actually good that your marriage will last.
 
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soul man

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From there we were forced to grow up in a way that was often painful but now we look back fondly on because we are way better people now that we've gone through the sandpaper process of learning to deal with one another. God has blessed us and we are not as poor as when we started. But its okay to start out that way and even be that way for a while.


Nice thread and good understanding I enjoyed it
 

Mayflower

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I married at 29 and I am glad that I waited. I was way not mature enough then like I am now. I believe a lot of young people do need to marry young though. I never had a problem with sex issues or anything like that back then.
 
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quietthinker

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Young people are discouraged from getting married but this is worldliness.

Paul, in 1 Corinthians 7 discusses marriage in these terms:

But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry.

If the woman is old enough, let the man go ahead and marry her!

My opinion is that we over complicate this for worldly reasons.

1. They need education/finances in order first!

Can we talk? The standard for living in the U.S is super high. There is nothing wrong with young couples going ahead and getting married because, though they may start out relatively poor, they don't necessarily stay that way.

I would argue that marriage can provide a stable backdrop for both college education and a career.

2. They need time to be immature/sow their wild oats!

The Bible tells us to conduct ourselves with self-control. In fact, just a few generations ago, young marriages around the ages of 17 and 18 were the norm. Why do we have such low expectations of late teenagers and even people in their twenties now? Standards have lowered and its not good.

3. The flavors.

"We need to test if we're sexually compatible!"

"How could I possibly know what I want without a string of unsuccessful relationships???"

4. The high divorce rate.

Look, back in the day, people got married younger and divorced less often. Could it be that having less relational baggage correlates to having more successful marriages? I think so.

Here are some reasons why marriage shouldn't always be put off.

1. You want to behave Holy.

Paul said it is better to marry than to burn with lust. When you're serious about someone, committment is what should follow.

2. Its unrealistic to expect the majority of people to abstain from sex until their thirties.

3. It causes maturation.

4. Fornication is a real problem.


Not everyone supported my marriage to my husband. He was 19. I was 20. My parents acted like I was throwing myself into marriage way too soon.

But I don't regret our actions because we were serious about each other and it was the right thing to do. Simple as that.

From there we were forced to grow up in a way that was often painful but now we look back fondly on because we are way better people now that we've gone through the sandpaper process of learning to deal with one another. God has blessed us and we are not as poor as when we started. But its okay to start out that way and even be that way for a while.

Im sure some will disagree: maybe someone who's waited for decades for the right person or someone who feels like they aren't ready to be married. Thats okay.

My point is that it shouldn't be abnormal for young couples to marry. Especially Christian ones. If a young person is thinking they're old enough for sex but too young for marriage, Id challenge that.
Marriage is far greater than the need to fulfil a sexual urge legitimately.
 
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tsr

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I married at 29 and I am glad that I waited. I was way not mature enough then like I am now. I believe a lot of young people do need to marry young though. I never had a problem with sex issues or anything like that back then.

I married at 21 years old..............going on53 years with my wife
 

Wynona

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Marriage is far greater than the need to fulfil a sexual urge legitimately.

Of course. But it's not less than that.

I would say even if two people somehow start out marrying for that reason alone, God will still grow and mature them through marriage and bless the marriage as long as the understanding is that marriage is for life.

I'd rather that people who are getting serious go towards marriage or break it off rather than getting in a string of unsuccessful sexual relationships.
 
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tsr

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Of course. But it's not less than that.

I would say even if two people somehow start out marrying for that reason alone, God will still grow and mature them through marriage and bless the marriage as long as the understanding is that marriage is for life.

I'd rather that people who are getting serious go towards marriage or break it off rather than getting in a string of unsuccessful sexual relationships.
Excellent point made!!!! Wynona
 
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Wynona

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I married at 29 and I am glad that I waited. I was way not mature enough then like I am now. I believe a lot of young people do need to marry young though. I never had a problem with sex issues or anything like that back then.

Im not against people waiting if they can have self control.
 
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