I'll tell you (the reader) what propelled me forward is that once I realized that my past wasn't just in my childhood, it was present. I was being stalked, threatened, and it went much much farther than that. When I realized that the cult was a present threat, I knew I couldn't just ignore it. For the sake of my children(!!) who are worth every bit of the pain of facing trauma memories ....to protect them and make their chances for freedom more attainable, I pressed forward ....I put in the time, the sweat, the prayers, and many many tears (as well as physical punishments by the cult) ....because that's what mothers do who want to do everything they can for their children. I wish I had the support and awareness that is offered here, earlier on in my life. I walked through most of my journey alone in large part. My children were young when I began my journey to freedom/deprogramming, but I wish I'd been able to begin when they were tiny. My hopes and prayer is that other survivors will not put off doing the legwork. Our children are worth it. Avoidance only makes it harder for them. Remember that.....
My children (now grown) have each thanked me for all I did to protect them. Amazingly, they think I'm the strongest person they know and the best mom in the world.... I think it's more the other way around. I have the most amazing children in the world ....strong, caring, loving.... God gave me these gifts,why wouldn't I lay down my life for theirs?