That was a while ago, I have blocked a lot of the time out.
|I have walked away from Christian several times. We had a lot of children's sexual abuse by priests a while ago. I do the IT work for the local dioceses and almost got dragged into it. The bishop at the time who was overseeing the settlement was caught with child porn on his laptop.
The whole thing was a miss.
Watching other Christians behaving in very unchristian ways and being horrible human beings was shocking to me, and it still is.
But when I am at my lowest there is always a present. He is always there just behind me. It is not a scary feeling more of someone's love and concern. He does not demand anything just being there. If I tell him to go away or ignore him he goes away. But always comes back.
Every once in and awhile I will get a little tap on the shoulder as a reminder he is there any time.
I fought the pull for a long time. When I stopped resisting him and accept Jesus there is always a feeling of coming home.
The picture of my avatar is from Peter's eyes after he tries to walk on water. He has lost his faith and sinks into the cold water. But even with weak faith Jesus still holds his hand out, Peter just has to reach for Jesus and let him help. It symbolizes my current state of mind.
|I have walked away from Christian several times. We had a lot of children's sexual abuse by priests a while ago. I do the IT work for the local dioceses and almost got dragged into it. The bishop at the time who was overseeing the settlement was caught with child porn on his laptop.
The whole thing was a miss.
Watching other Christians behaving in very unchristian ways and being horrible human beings was shocking to me, and it still is.
But when I am at my lowest there is always a present. He is always there just behind me. It is not a scary feeling more of someone's love and concern. He does not demand anything just being there. If I tell him to go away or ignore him he goes away. But always comes back.
Every once in and awhile I will get a little tap on the shoulder as a reminder he is there any time.
I fought the pull for a long time. When I stopped resisting him and accept Jesus there is always a feeling of coming home.
The picture of my avatar is from Peter's eyes after he tries to walk on water. He has lost his faith and sinks into the cold water. But even with weak faith Jesus still holds his hand out, Peter just has to reach for Jesus and let him help. It symbolizes my current state of mind.
