Philologos
Member
When I compare the new church to the modern church, the modern church is NOTHING like the new church. With the new church fellowship occurred both at church AND in real life, everyone was included, and the new church made sure nobody went without.
With the modern church, I hear incessantly 'we love and accept everyone', but in reality, this isn't true because the church caters to extroverts, marrieds raising families, and neurotypicals (those who don't have Asperger's syndrome and/or autism). If you don't fall under one or all of the aforementioned three categories you're forgotten. Fellowship is relegated to church on Sunday and small groups, but I don't see it carrying over into real life.
I am tired of the rudeness, the insensitivity, the selfishness, and being so focused on their perspective, they don't even try to understand the other person's viewpoint. I am also very tired of the go-to in-regards to helping someone ALWAYS being encouragement. I don't have an issue with encouragement in and of itself, there's nothing wrong with it, however it's not always the solution, nor is it always the appropriate thing to do depending upon what the situation is. There's nothing wrong with encouragement, there is however a huge problem with being so fixated on positivity and encouragement that the church basically refuses to talk about anything difficult/serious/'heavy' which isn't healthy and it's definitely NOT biblical to do this.
I am tired of Christians saying 'we love and care about you' but if you don't act and think like they want/think you should act and/or are difficult to love, you're basically rejected. I am also tired of Christians refusing to serve if it means being inconvenienced and/or it makes them feel uncomfortable.
When I went to church, I expected to receive support, to be able to confide in the church, to receive practical help beyond just encouragement and unsolicited advice. Instead, I'm forgotten, and have basically given up hope that I'll actually find a church where I'm truly included, because I'm not a neurotypical, not an extrovert and am an older single. Yes, I'm very angry with the church but t's for the very reasons mentioned above, but I have been hurt and forgotten by the church, and this didn't happen instantaneously, I have dealt with this with basically every church I have ever been to.
I am tired of being misunderstood incessantly; I expect this from the secular world. However I didn't expect this type of treatment from the church, which just exacerbates the pain. I don't expect them to completely understand me when they don't have Asperger's syndrome (which I do), however I am not asking them to completely understand me, I'm asking they make the effort to try to understand me, and I don't even see that much occurring.
It's sad to see people hurt, but more so at the hands of those who are supposed to build you up. I can't imagine the ongoing frustration you feel. I once met with church leadership about starting a family-integrated Sunday school "option" to develop stronger families, it was immediately rejected and not long after, a new Sunday school class for "kids interested in on-campus sports." (They made money hosting sporting events, that was their growth plan.)
I see it happening, and while it's nice to see various ministry options, it does seem that they keep vying to be "THE church" that ministers to certain communities,, but to the neglect of others.
Just stay in touch with the Lord about it, and He'll guide you through it all.