What IS this…?

stunnedbygrace said:

And unless depression includes thoughts of suicide, I kind of think it’s a good thing that forces us to examination of what’s going on in us and with us.

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I’ve always thought about that too in relation to depression drugs which I’m on again. But what you said was one of the reasons I came off of them for a while. I’ve seen so many in a desperate situation where they could have been on the cusp of possibly asking why am I here in this situation….but then take a pill for the depression so they are able to remain where they are. It is like saying the feelings and signals and alarms are not good to recognize nor pay attention to, instead just put a mask on it and you’ll be better for it. I’ve seen so many where when they try to come off whatever was chemical to treat the depression…they are still right where they were. Yet decades have passed. For a while I welcomed the alarms as a good thing…but that is hard. Point is…Imo what you said is wise that depression could be an alarm we are not well mentally, physically or emotionally and an chance to seek why…what is going on. I still suggest God is the best counselor…even though I’ve fallen back in to depression pills to silence the alarms. It is like depression pills for blood pressure problems without asking “why is your blood pressure telling you something is coming up fast” …a total collapse of possibly a stoke or heart attack …here take some pills and put a mask on it. Maybe it is fear…the the blood pressure signals an heart attack or stroke then surely it isn’t a good time to approach the problems head on…but what if that is the very thing that is needed?

stunnedbygrace said:

I have more recently been having an odd struggle. I’ve always been a pretty hard worker, but more recently, I cannot seem to rouse myself to it. I’ve chastised myself for why I’m suddenly so lazy. I can’t even cajole myself into doing some furniture to sell. I just cannot. And I love doing furniture. I really do like it. But I can’t make myself do it.

So this morning I was reading a book a friend wrote, and he said something like…having to give up all our worldly aspirations as they can only hinder us. And it struck me that what I’m chastising myself over and am so confused over is maybe Gods doing, in me.

This sort of thing has happened to me before, like…years ago I was looking for a job but couldn’t find one. I even applied at a dollar store and couldn’t find anyone, anywhere, to hire me. At a certain point I stopped and said, wait a minute, this is not natural…so I asked God what this meant, since Paul said if a man wouldn’t work he shouldn’t be fed. So I said, where is the work you will give me to do with my hands, Lord? Like, what I was struggling in, it became so apparent to me that God was preventing.

I can’t think of what else would make a hardworking person suddenly so…purposeless, unless it was Gods doing…

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What work remains?

Do that.

stunnedbygrace said:

It’s okay that you brought it up. No, you weren’t being passive aggressive or hinting at something, you were just openly conversing. There have been a lot of studies on it, so I think it’s safe to say it can decrease motivation. A fifth or sixth of a gummy every few days for pain isn’t going to cause that. Repeatedly getting stoned every day can cause that. To use it for its natural anti inflammatory properties for arthritis, it’s quite amazing. Instead of taking an nsaid every morning, I take a small piece of gummy every few days because it takes away the pain for about…at least 48 to 72 hours. It also actually takes away the pain versus dampening it slightly. And there’s absolutely no getting stoned or feeling loopy in any way in that.

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Yeah I thru it in there but wasn't sure it was a valid question which is why I didn't direct it to you previously. Good to hear that you have a solution for your arthritis. Glad you found something that works.

VictoryinJesus said:

I’ve always thought about that too in relation to depression drugs which I’m on again. But what you said was one of the reasons I came off of them for a while. I’ve seen so many in a desperate situation where they could have been on the cusp of possibly asking why am I here in this situation….but then take a pill for the depression so they are able to remain where they are. It is like saying the feelings and signals and alarms are not good to recognize nor pay attention to, instead just put a mask on it and you’ll be better for it. I’ve seen so many where when they try to come off whatever was chemical to treat the depression…they are still right where they were. Yet decades have passed. For a while I welcomed the alarms as a good thing…but that is hard. Point is…Imo what you said is wise that depression could be an alarm we are not well mentally, physically or emotionally and an chance to seek why…what is going on. I still suggest God is the best counselor…even though I’ve fallen back in to depression pills to silence the alarms. It is like depression pills for blood pressure problems without asking “why is your blood pressure telling you something is coming up fast” …a total collapse of possibly a stoke or heart attack …here take some pills and put a mask on it. Maybe it is fear…the the blood pressure signals an heart attack or stroke then surely it isn’t a good time to approach the problems head on…but what if that is the very thing that is needed?

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I suffered from chemical depression for a few years which triggered my schizophrenia later on. What I learned is that there are I think two types of depression, chemical and situational. Situational can be fixed without meds if the person goes to counseling and changes their life. Chemical requires medication as it is a chemical that is low in the brain and cannot be fixed by changing their life.

stunnedbygrace said:

Yes, I agree. But not in cases where the depression leads to real thoughts of suicide or where a real chemical imbalance is the cause. I wouldn’t mess with that.

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i guess it also depends on life circumstances too. Sometimes it feels like we have no control over those circumstances. I get what you are saying about suicide being a real touchy thing. But at the same time suicide makes me think of wanting to be heard even when you are (not) speaking…that the signals and alarms are there even when not spoken. To me suicide is internalizing that your abnormal and see no other way out. To me suicide is scary with yourself and loved ones…never knowing or understanding what someone is going through. So I get your cautiously bringing up suicide as the exception. Still alarms are going off…maybe that person hears the alarms so loudly yet no one else hears or notices those alarms?

devin553344 said:

I suffered from chemical depression for a few years which triggered my schizophrenia later on. What I learned is that there are I think two types of depression, chemical and situational. Situational can be fixed without meds if the person goes to counseling and changes their life. Chemical requires medication as it is a chemical that is low in the brain and cannot be fixed by changing their life.

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I’m not trying to knock where you are devin. This is a touchy subject for me because of grandchildren. I see some alarms going off …but then I fear we have the chance to notice alarms like …this person needs a friend being isolated. And because of selfishness or whatever …life or timing in a day doesn’t allow time to be a friend or it would take too much effort, being too far gone …we instead say “everything is fine.” That is all…I’m just thinking. I fear especially with children today being so isolated on their phones and devices where not much together time is happening …that there is a lot of depression blaring a loud alarm that is ignored.

stunnedbygrace said:

Had to look that one up. It’s the new way to say “midlife crisis?” If I were unhappy I might consider that. In fact, I did consider it enough to read about it for about 40 minutes. That’s not it. If I ever had one, it would have been 40 to 42 years of age, when I saw the futility of everything and went searching for something solid and true.

As to your gummy remark, yeah, you should have deleted it. A tiny piece of one of them for pain every few days is not what this is and I don’t like passive aggressive digs and “hints.” I’m okay with that judgement and I know my open honesty sets me up for it and I always determine to keep being honest despite it. I would just prefer conversation that’s upfront.

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I can testify from personal experience that this kind of initiative-killing dissatisfaction can and does occur later in life, right around the traditional retirement age. For me, this mind-numbing progression of email, conference calls, specs, test reports, design reviews, etc. which used to be challenging and exciting might be more bearable if ... It's not a general unhappiness per se, but it does give me and my contemporaries incentive for early retirement.

As for my preferred modes of communication, I'm not going to change, even if others find it irritating or worse, ineffective. Do I make myself clear?

Hi @stunnedbygrace maybe someone has suggested this in previous pages, so sorry if I'm repeating someone else's

stunnedbygrace said:

I have more recently been having an odd struggle. I’ve always been a pretty hard worker, but more recently, I cannot seem to rouse myself to it. I’ve chastised myself for why I’m suddenly so lazy. I can’t even cajole myself into doing some furniture to sell. I just cannot. And I love doing furniture. I really do like it. But I can’t make myself do it.

So this morning I was reading a book a friend wrote, and he said something like…having to give up all our worldly aspirations as they can only hinder us. And it struck me that what I’m chastising myself over and am so confused over is maybe Gods doing, in me.

This sort of thing has happened to me before, like…years ago I was looking for a job but couldn’t find one. I even applied at a dollar store and couldn’t find anyone, anywhere, to hire me. At a certain point I stopped and said, wait a minute, this is not natural…so I asked God what this meant, since Paul said if a man wouldn’t work he shouldn’t be fed. So I said, where is the work you will give me to do with my hands, Lord? Like, what I was struggling in, it became so apparent to me that God was preventing.

I can’t think of what else would make a hardworking person suddenly so…purposeless, unless it was Gods doing…

Click to expand...

I think you have discovered a life reality.
We are driven day to day by emotional frameworks which have their own logic.
Unless we renew ourselves, and find inspiration that makes sense of our day to day lives, what is the point of any activity.
Some wives end up cooking or cleaning or organising even when the people have left home.

Others do well at work, and have money so start buying things. They literally cannot stop and fill their houses with
stuff they do not need. The emotional high of the new thing is still there but the actual connection with life has gone.

Some lose the aspect of life called enjoyment, where they kick back, relax and rest inbetween the things that must be done.
Trouble is we can burn out if we do not recognise we are not machines, and need a real day of rest every 7.

I find rebuilding my view of where I am and asking myself what I actually want to do, and with other people is critical.
It means the steps are reinforcing my choices and they make things make sense.

People talk about a nervous breakdown, when everything falls apart. We all need these times of reset, so that we are not
hollowed out and then the collapse maybe unrecoverable.

I was compared to a father of my daughter in law, going on forums and expressing myself, in a negative way.
I got to laugh because this is like reading or any other hobby, people do it for many different reasons and for some it
is a good thing, and others it makes their opinions more aggressive and ridiculous. I mention this because we find
it hard to see we are not that unique, and everything is often a group experience, with group answers.

God bless you

stunnedbygrace said:

It doesn’t feel like depression. I’m not unhappy, downcast or in distress. I’m a curiosity to myself in this. Like I’m looking at a weird bug and thinking why is this bug doing this…?

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Depression can be like that. I'm not going to say you are experiencing this or that, I have no idea. But an "amotivational" state may be a symptom of something mental/emotional.

Much love!

Mantis said:

I must say that pollen really affects me sometimes. When the junipers release pollen I get real lethargic and unmotivated. I seem to handle the pine pollen just fine. I’m allergic to juniper.

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Yes, there may be all sorts of different reasons for what we experience and feel. And we can miss what's real if we get set on it being this or that, without actually knowing.

Much love!

devin553344 said:

Sorry for suggesting that pot can cause motivational issues. I thru it in there to promote the question as to whether that is what you're experiencing. It wasn't passive aggressive. Just lightly tossing it into the pool of thought. Not trying to make too many ripples.

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It's a valid thought. We can feel anxiety because we have high levels of intestinal yeast. Cannabis is well known as a demotivator in some people. Unusual emotional states sometimes yield their secrets when we keep food journals. Environmental factors and food/other intake shouldn't be just dismissed in understanding what is happening with us.

Pray for wisdom, and start looking around, is my general method.

Much love!

devin553344 said:

I suffered from chemical depression for a few years which triggered my schizophrenia later on. What I learned is that there are I think two types of depression, chemical and situational. Situational can be fixed without meds if the person goes to counseling and changes their life. Chemical requires medication as it is a chemical that is low in the brain and cannot be fixed by changing their life.

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I've learned that chemical depression doesn't necessarily require meds, and improvement can come without them, though progress is agonizingly slow. I don't want any of their depression medications. To me it seems hit and miss, and side effects can be bad. My sister was medicated for her depression, and after about 10 years she stopped needing them. I think that as we walk with the Lord, healing can come, if albeit agonizingly slowly.

Much love!