What IS this…?

marks said:

I've learned that chemical depression doesn't necessarily require meds, and improvement can come without them, though progress is agonizingly slow. I don't want any of their depression medications. To me it seems hit and miss, and side effects can be bad. My sister was medicated for her depression, and after about 10 years she stopped needing them. I think that as we walk with the Lord, healing can come, if albeit agonizingly slowly.

Much love!

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Yes that's what happened to me mostly. I'm not sure if the depression morphed into schizophrenia or not. But after joining church and serving the Lord the depression and anxiety slowly went away.

stunnedbygrace said:

Yes, I’m a loner. I always have been somewhat. It drains me to severe fatigue to go to gatherings where there are a lot of people. I read a book once about introverts vs. extroverts. It explained how it doesn’t have to do with shyness as we think but rather has to do with a difference in how the two different people “charge their batteries.” It said an introvert recharges by being alone and an extrovert recharges by going and doing things with others. So what drains me actually recharges them and what recharges me actually drains them. It explained to me why I always felt that people were…sort of like vampires to me.

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I've become and introvert. Not because of my personality, but rather health conditions. I feel anxiety when I'm in crowds or traveling far. It's not relaxing like it used to be. Now it does drain me.

stunnedbygrace said:

I have more recently been having an odd struggle. I’ve always been a pretty hard worker, but more recently, I cannot seem to rouse myself to it. I’ve chastised myself for why I’m suddenly so lazy. I can’t even cajole myself into doing some furniture to sell. I just cannot. And I love doing furniture. I really do like it. But I can’t make myself do it.

So this morning I was reading a book a friend wrote, and he said something like…having to give up all our worldly aspirations as they can only hinder us. And it struck me that what I’m chastising myself over and am so confused over is maybe Gods doing, in me.

This sort of thing has happened to me before, like…years ago I was looking for a job but couldn’t find one. I even applied at a dollar store and couldn’t find anyone, anywhere, to hire me. At a certain point I stopped and said, wait a minute, this is not natural…so I asked God what this meant, since Paul said if a man wouldn’t work he shouldn’t be fed. So I said, where is the work you will give me to do with my hands, Lord? Like, what I was struggling in, it became so apparent to me that God was preventing.

I can’t think of what else would make a hardworking person suddenly so…purposeless, unless it was Gods doing…

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Wow. I'm feeling the same thing. I have a ton of work to do and I really enjoy doing it. But for the past few days I find myself struggling to stay motivated. For example, I'm typing this post because I am procrastinating.

Taken said:

I would say, it’s an odd thing, all PEOPLE contend with...
* Young, ambitious, capable physically to Do, Do, Do.
* Older, mental ambition remains, physical capability begins to dwindle;
Thus the odd conflict.

* Younger, round up the “tools”, products, whatever to DO a task, no problem. Get to getting DOING the task, no problem. Cleaning up from DOING the task, no problem.

* Older, round up the “tools”, tired, need a rest. DO the task, mid-way, need a rest. Motivation to return to the task, nil. Thoughts of Cleaning up from DOING the task, Depressive thoughts seep in.

* I see it more as a REALISTIC “re-adjustment”.
In “THOUGHT” my MIND is capable to accomplish as having done for YEARS.
In “FACT” my BODY is saying are you nuts?

* I have CHANGED my MIND, to accept the FACTS.
* My tasks become more REALISTIC; smaller tasks, from the rounding up preparing needs for the task, to doing the task, to cleaning up after the task...
* It’s a rearrangement of sorts. Some days are exclusively “preparing, rounding up tools, products, etc.” Following day, Doing, Following day Cleaning up. Then rest and satisfaction and contentment.

Perhaps you still overload yourself, and become discontented via thoughts, before even starting a task.

Just sharing...
Taken

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Good post Taken,
It's all in increments with myself anymore...no motivation with the body and mind...trying to get it back is not so easy.

stunnedbygrace said:

It explained to me why I always felt that people were…sort of like vampires to me.

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Now that can be a really DRAINING experience.

stunnedbygrace said:

I don’t really have friends Angelina. I think…I bore people. I don’t like to go out to dinner or go out for coffee. (Can’t afford it either, but even if I could, I don’t like to.) I don’t like to do the things others want to do. It’s just a burden to me. I don’t even like to go to family gatherings much. I guess we bore each other. I don’t want to talk about…new cars and refrigerators and couches and how much money so and so is making. And I don’t like how when one person leaves, everyone starts… tearing them down. I go to things I have to go to in order to not make everyone yell at me, but the whole time I’m just waiting for it to end.

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I am sorry to hear "in order to not make everyone yell at me" is not a healthy or normal environment in which to live.
I am very talkative and like connecting with people where we can share our experiences and interests and encourage each other.

My daughter was very shy, was even scared of small pets and rabbits. She did though make friends with people,
but was too open and let them direct her behaviour, which we did not know about.

She has learnt how to open up to the right people in the right ways.
And that is a difficult thing. And being boring is often just a lack of skill to identify areas of interest and then talking about it.
It can be anything, but the key issue is actually liking the subject. A for instance is like forums, or certain ways of expression.
I love science fiction for its exploration of human behaviour in different situations. It asks questions around how we work
in small communities and larger groups. I love scientific discoveries and facts that need answers, solving puzzles, talking to
elderly people about their lives and adventures. With imagination everyone has interests, they often need just brining out.

My daughters love barbie dolls and played for hours constructing whole family life stories. A conversation about this can last quite
a time. We still have the 14 or so 2nd hand barbies in boxes...I mean that is a life long love.

Part of social discovery is self discovery of the small things we so often dismiss.

A 100% there are loads of places one can go, and connect and have a good time. But you have to learn to choose the right
one and try out the options.

God bless you

stunnedbygrace said:

Yes, I’m a loner. I always have been somewhat. It drains me to severe fatigue to go to gatherings where there are a lot of people. I read a book once about introverts vs. extroverts. It explained how it doesn’t have to do with shyness as we think but rather has to do with a difference in how the two different people “charge their batteries.” It said an introvert recharges by being alone and an extrovert recharges by going and doing things with others. So what drains me actually recharges them and what recharges me actually drains them. It explained to me why I always felt that people were…sort of like vampires to me.

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Introvert / extrovert are over played models.
Encouraging or judgemental is probably better. Some people demolish others in their interaction, raising up their profile
while demeaning others. Some peoples aim is just to be with others, and help them discover and grow in things they like.

If you only meet demolishers, ofcourse that is draining. An elderly lady described her social gathering like cockroaches
meeting together, bashing each other and trying to outdo one another. One lady from this group found it so difficult
because they had to be so careful to be the "right" person and not be themselves, it was absurd.

As a family we emphasise people knowing each other and giving them space to express, be silly, joke, and
not upset one another. I get told off for some of my jokes which are too pointed, so I try and pull back on this
though with so many different nationalities its hard to resist...

This has taken years to develop and grow, and some people never get it, especially in families and older people.
My brother is very quiet, and we are a bit over the top for him. His wife could not believe we are brothers, given
how different we are.