I figure its been a long time since I've posted, so I do feel bad for that. Although, I feel like since I don't know any Christians aside from my mother, I could at least go online. Christians are Christians everywhere right?I just turned 19, going to college, and am soon becoming an RA. I have enough credits to put me at Junior status (I've only been there one year so far, and entered as a freshman). This may seem like I have my life in control, but I feel as if I'm missing something.I want to be a Christian. I mean, I've been raised Christian, and believe I am one, but when it comes to things of the world, I waver and take part in them. I like to think morally I am somewhat Christian like. I try not to judge or hold grudges against people. I just have a problem with falling off the path, even after promising myself -and God- that I would stop. Thing is, I keep asking God about one certain thing, (a illness in fact) and I feel bad praying for healing even now, because I feel like I'll just mess up again and disappoint him. I suppose this is more a question of "Have any of you ever felt this way before?" Like, that after messing up so many times, he won't listen or care if I go to him promising again? What could I perhaps do to change this mindset?