Hi Dan,
I don't know if you read the OP, but the question is not about appropriate God-given instinct within the context of emotional and age-appropriate attraction to someone of the opposite sex. The question is about self-gratification - which is not what God ordained at all. This youngster may have years to wait before he is ready to commit to marriage,
and has met the woman of God's choice for him. The solution he needs now, is self-control, a clear conscience before God, and an end to the torment which he's experiencing. God can give him all this, and in His good time, a wife.
The idea that sexual urges have to be gratified as soon as they appear - in the same way as a baby puts new teeth into action as soon as they appear - is nowhere in scripture. Therefore, the answers to managing sexual desire are in a closer relationship with the Lord, as Axehead indicated.
Hi Axehead,
I was interested in how you phrased the order in which you put things, and am going to pick up just one and a half sentences for further discussion.
I would argue that this is incorrect reasoning in part if not in whole, because the Lord is our refuge from every spiritual attack, and it is He, through the Holy Spirit whose life is supposed to be lived out through our flesh. If we try to resist temptation in our own strength,
so that we can come to Jesus, it is likely we will fail many times. The thing Satan hates, is when our relationship with Him is so open and honest, that even when we have that specific temptation, we can come to Him immediately, knowing that He also was tempted but resisted perfectly.
Being tempted is not a sin.
You may not agree with this next comment, either, because I would go further: that while the battle is on, the battle is
not to not do the sin, but the battle is to
turn away from the flesh in one's heart, and get oneself into the presence of the Lord as soon as possible, regardless of whether one has already failed in a measure. I say again, the Lord understands; He understands that Satan targeted the heart of God's image in man, (which was designed to reproduce men in God's image), and He understands the way normal sexual impulses are supposed to work in purity.
Because He made us this way, He understands completely that both what we see with our eyes, and what we see with our hearts, have the potential make us mad (demented), when they represent unfulfilled hope. And Satan plays on this relentlessly.
Deuteronomy 28:30 Thou shalt betroth a wife, and another man shall lie with her: thou shalt build an house, and thou shalt not dwell therein: thou shalt plant a vineyard, and shalt not gather the grapes thereof. 31 Thine ox [shall be] slain before thine eyes, and thou shalt not eat thereof: thine ass [shall be] violently taken away from before thy face, and shall not be restored to thee: thy sheep [shall be] given to thine enemies, and thou shalt have none to rescue [them]. 32 Thy sons and thy daughters [shall be] given to another people, and thine eyes shall look, and fail [with longing] for them all the day long: and [there shall be] no might in thine hand. 33 The fruit of thy land, and all thy labours, shall a nation which thou knowest not eat up; and thou shalt be only oppressed and crushed alway: 34 So that thou shalt be mad for the sight of thine eyes which thou shalt see.
1 Corinthians 10:13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God [is] faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear [it].
The way of escape is not in one's own strength. It is in turning directly to the cross and being utterly honest with the Lord about the need of the moment. The hardest thing is turning to Him at the very moment we want to appease the flesh. To me, this is where the battle really lies. And yet here, too, is where the battle is won. I don't think it matters how far along the line the sin has progressed, as long as recourse is made to His presence, where it cannot but wither a little more, every time it is stopped this way. God is not afraid of these situations, and neither should we be.
Hebrews 4:13 Neither is there any creature that is not manifest in his sight: but all things [are] naked and opened unto the eyes of him with whom we have to do. 14 Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast [our] profession. 15 For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as [we are, yet] without sin. 16 Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.
I think it's worth taking time to look at one reason which may compound our unwillingness to seek His strength to overcome. Hebrews 7:25
This is only one very common instance... we may be projecting a wrong image of God on to Him in our thinking, such as attitudes we met in a parent or carer so that we expect some kind of punishment from Him, or, that He is going to make us pay somehow for having failed Him this way. Or, we may have separated ourselves from the issue in our own thinking, so that with one head we are complying with the flesh, and with the other head we are pouring hatred on ourselves for being so conflicted - effectively having taken on a disapproving parental voice so that we beat ourselves up verbally - or physically - for fear of admitting - even to ourselves - that something is out of control, or beyond our control. The prospect of risking owning up to the Lord, asking for Him for help, or to reveal a deeper need, or to heal damage done by previous sins - is almost unthinkable, because we are unconsciously hoping to gain or keep His approval, either by or for our own efforts. We've forgotten God made us uniquely as we are, according to HIs own perfect parenting, and He knows us all through - both what brought us to this condition (of need), and, how to restore us to the likeness of His image. He can bring us into wholeness and rest in our own skins, bearing the fruit of self-control; but,
we must ask Him.
There are many other wrong kinds of thinking, which make us vulnerable to temptation, due to other kinds of preconditioning through experience and the media. We need to know our own trigger points, and deal with them according to the Lord's leading. Avoidance may be enough to avert certain temptations, but if avoidance only makes it worse, the solution lies deeper and we most definitely need to seek the Lord's ministrations both of revelation and consolation in healing.
This is said in the expectation that a Christian
wants to be recreated in God's image Eph 4:24, to live pleasing to Him, and that he is willing to pray - without fear - about every deep personal need which comes to his understanding, knowing he is loved of a God who is well able to meet all His needs and much, much more.
I hope you're not shocked by those ideas, and I also hope you'll consider them doctrinally, and comment if possible.
Zechariah 9:12