@1stCenturyLady .....Marriage and divorce are clearly outlined in Scripture....
Jesus taught that marriage is a sacred union, and that we should choose our mate very carefully, not settling just for the romance, but observing the character of the one we are dating....giving it time.
Those who deal with their spouse in an unkind way are showing disrespect for God’s arrangement.
God’s prophet Malachi spoke of those who treated their marriage mate treacherously....causing much weeping among the women, and making their worship unacceptable.
“And there is another thing that you do, which results in covering the altar of Jehovah with tears and with weeping and sighing, so that he no longer pays attention to your gift offering or looks favorably on anything from your hand. 14 And you say, ‘For what reason?’ It is because Jehovah has acted as a witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously, although she is your partner and your wife by covenant . . . .So guard yourselves respecting your spirit, and do not deal treacherously with the wife of your youth. 16 For I hate divorce,” says Jehovah the God of Israel, “and the one who covers his garment with violence,” says Jehovah of armies. “And guard yourselves respecting your spirit, and you must not deal treacherously.” (Mal 2:13-16)
“God hates divorce”....and any kind of violence...especially domestic violence which is rampant in the world.
Violence can be expressed in words, not just actions. Mental and emotional abuse can have as much impact as physical abuse.
So asking the important questions when choosing a mate is vital.......”marry only in the Lord” Paul recommended.
But...are they genuine Christians, or just label wearers and church pew warmers?
How do they behave when someone ticks them off? Short fuse?
How does a man treat his mother? If she is a good person he will respect her, if not he will respect her position and not treat her badly or with disrespect, no matter what. This calls for genuine Christian “self control”...a fruit of God’s spirit.
How do they treat their friends? Are they loyal or fickle?
Are they forgiving? Or do they hold grudges?
Does the one you are contemplating marrying, have good spiritual qualities like “self control”? If so, then immorality will not be on their mind, as breaking God’s law would be a sin against God and a demonstration of disrespect for the proposed mate.
God’s word expressed through Jesus and his apostles, put marriage as an unbreakable bond where “two become one flesh”....no man is to break that sacred trust.....but women are not to be a punching bag for some unchristian narcissist either.
Paul gives leeway to women....stuck in a marriage that is abusive, either physically or in any other way that threatens her mental and spiritual health is not acceptable. Read 1 Cor ch.7 and see Paul’s reasonable recommendations, remembering that “all Scripture is inspired of God” and his words are part of Scripture.
There are grounds for separation, to sort out issues and receive counselling.....but not divorce. Reconciliation is of course the preferred outcome, but that is not always possible. Each one has to answer to God for their own conduct and their own decisions which will hopefully be made prayerfully.
Remaining spiritually and morally clean in God’s eyes is the important thing. God wants us to be happy, not miserable in our marriage, but marriage itself brings its own trials.....this is why choosing wisely is the way to go....and handling problems with Scriptural advice can even out the hurdles if both parties are “under Christ” in their attitudes and actions.
