Well it begins with my birth in 1988. Prior to that, I don't recall what I was up to; I suspect it wasn't too important. Anyways, I grew up in a non-religious home. Everyone believed in God, but none of us went to church or ever talked about religion.
In 1998, my little brother died. That event changed the course of my life and my family in many ways. Because of the circumstances surrounding my brother's death, my grandparents took custody of me and we all began going to a Baptist church within a few months.
Truthfully, I hated church. I much preferred sleeping in on Sundays. I eventually told my grandparents that I didn't want to attend anymore and they eventually stopped forcing me to go. They eventually stopped going as well.
During my teenage years, I didn't think about God or religion much, if at all. That was until I began attending a private Christian school; I still didn't really buy any of it. A few years later, after I was out of school, the New Atheist movement headed by people like Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens, and Sam Harris, began picking up steam in the cultural zeitgeist. I thought their arguments were far more compelling than any arguments made by any Christian pastor.
From then on out, I considered myself an agnostic. The transition from agnostic to Christian was a difficult one. I was involved in a bad car accident in late 2022. With five herniated disks in my neck and a fractured sternum, I wasn't able to do much for several months.
I began drinking hard liquor in March of 2023. I can't say I didn't enjoy it. It certainly seemed like the answer to the problems I was facing in life. This lead to a spiral into nihilism; a belief that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
Well it got to the point that I was drinking every night just to feel normal. I realized that wasn't something I could do long term, and so I stopped. Which is much harder than you think it will be. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about it.
Thankfully I had some good people on my side. Both
@Angelina and
@Debp helped me in more ways than I can count. I'll be forever grateful for their help and friendship.
In many ways, I was my own biggest obstacle. In my pursuit for happiness and contentment, I did not find it in anything this world has to offer. A relationship with the Lord is the only thing that made me feel content and whole again.
Looking back on my life, I can see the times in which I was being nudged in that direction, but I just wasn't ready. Just a few days ago, I decided it's now or never; I think the timing felt right. So I accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and saviour.
And right now I'm enjoying some chamomile tea, oh yes.
