Doubting my faith

  • Welcome to Christian Forums, a Christian Forum that recognizes that all Christians are a work in progress.

    You will need to register to be able to join in fellowship with Christians all over the world.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless!

Soso

New Member
Nov 16, 2007
6
0
0
59
I am not sure if this is the proper place to post this and I am not even certain if this board is where I should be looking for help, but if any of you can give me some advice I would really appreciate it.I'll try to be as brief as I can.I have always identified as a Christian. I grew up in a Catholic home and my mother tells me that when I was very young I was very devout. The funny thing is, I can't remember that at all.For all my adult life I have been going to church regularly but I didn't study the Bible in any serious way. I would just skim through it and I usually found myself re-reading the passages that appealed to me. Last year I went through a rather nasty and painful divorce which was made extra difficult because a large part of my family does not approve of divorce under any circumstances.Those of you who have experienced a divorce can perhaps relate to my state of mind. I basically started to take stock of my life and also of my religion.I swore that I would never lie to myself again after my failed marriage ( I had been kidding myself for years into thinking everything was fine between us ) and I came to the frightening realization that my believe in God was slipping.And I got scared.At 43, for the first time in my life I really started reading the Bible, front to back, and I hoped that I could find inspiration to strengthen my faith, but it isn't working. I just get more confused and some parts I actually dislike, especially the Old Testament with all its brutality.I still enjoy praying which I have done daily all my life, but I just wish that I could get rid of my doubt.To make matters worse, I recently read that Mother Theresa, whom has always been a great Christian example to me had long periods of doubt in her life too.Sorry for the long introduction and I hope I have not offended anyone here.Thanks in advance for any suggestions you may have.Soso
 

Christina

New Member
Apr 10, 2006
10,885
101
0
15
We are not offened sosoDivorce is a very painful experience and that is why God hates it because it causes his children pain. Not because its an unforgivable sin. God himself says he divorced Israel because of her idolatrous ways I know the Catholic church along with others teach this is unforgivable but God does not say that. I also know the Bible can be confusing and hard to understand in places when you first read it but that's what we are for ask all your question I assure you God never killed anyone for the fun of it there are very good reasons he did what he did. Gods only concern has always been our salvation. You are his child and he loves you. You will find on this site many complaints about the teachings of the Catholic church. Please do not feel we are against Catholics only some of the teachings like divorce and Hell where they stray away from Gods Word. We have that complaint about protestant churches also. We try to stick to Gods word here not men'sSo you have come to good place to ask your questions.Ask God for forgiveness for your part in the marriage breakup and know in your heart God forgives you he has given you a clean Slate. So start with today knowing you are forgiven the same way you would forgive your child who made mistakes in life. But for every time there is a season a time to morn, a time live, a time to cry ,a time to dance, The marriage has died yes, and you have mourned,and cried but now its time time to live and learn to laugh and dance again. Thats what your Father wants for you.Ecc 3:4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;God Bless
 

Jon-Marc

New Member
Jun 8, 2007
850
9
0
77
Jacumba, CA
Welcome to the forums. I can understand doubts since I still have them after 44 and a half years of being born again. Jesus said, "You must be born again." If one has not come to Him and asked for forgiveness of their sins, there will never be any peace in them. My doubts are not about my salvation. Jesus saved me on that day when I was 17, and I'm still saved and always will be despite my doubts about other things. I divorced an adulterous wife. My second wife divorced me after more than 7 months of constant criticizing EVERYTHING I said and did because I wasn't perfect like she thought she was. I will now stay single. It took two failed marriages to realize that I should have never married in the first place.If we are born again, we have the Holy Spirit living within us. He leads, guides, and directs us and convicts us when we sin or even think about sinning. Trusting and living by faith is just hard for some of us. We have been hurt too much and fear being hurt again. I now live alone and prefer it to putting up with criticism or an unfaithful wife. Yes, it gets lonely, but that's still better than being hurt again. There's a song that says, "Loving is well worth the pain." NO! It's NOT! At least, not to me. I can love (perhaps in a shallow way) but prefer not to get too involved with people since they have always let me down. All we can do is try to make sure we are right with the Lord. I have done that. Then all we can is try to live for Him with His help. Fortunately, we don't have to do it on our own. We can have the grace of God and the Holy Spirit to bring us through anything. Of course, we can't call on the Lord for help if we don't know Him as our Saviour. Jesus Christ is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. We cannot get into heaven without entering through the Door, which is Jesus Christ.
 

Peacebewithyou

New Member
Nov 6, 2007
426
0
0
56
I am so sorry to hear you feel like you're losing your faith. Because you are Catholic, perhaps this a conversation you should have with your Priest? As a Catholic, that's who I would turn to first. Regarding your family and their feelings about your divorce. The Catholic Church, as you know, allows for a legal divorce, but you may not date or remarry as you are still married in the eyes of God. If you were married in the Church, you stood before God and made a vow to stay with your wife until death. God takes vows very seriously. Again, this is a a good discussion to have with your Priest. We all struggle with doubts and our feelings can be very up & down. The important thing is to just keep on, keeping on. Continue to go to Church, continue to pray, and ask God to help you. If there is unconfessed sin in your life, deal with that. Sin will wreck havoc on your relationship with God. He will forgive you of course, but you must repent & confess. I will pray for you as well. :pray3:Edit: I wanted to add - you may want to consider what you believe about Jesus. Just because you go to Church regularly does not necessarily mean you know Jesus PERSONALLY. You may know of Him, just like you know of George Washington - but He wants you to know Him personally. Again, ask God to help you with that - to show you the love the Son had for you by dying on the cross for your sins. Forget the Old Test for now - read the gospels - really meditate on the words of Jesus. He will help you during this difficult time in your life. Here are His words for YOU:28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Does your parish offer a Light of the World Retreat? If so, I highly reccomend you go. It will change your life.
 

Soso

New Member
Nov 16, 2007
6
0
0
59
Thank you Kriss, Jon-Marc and Peacebewithyou for your kind and considerate responses.It is comforting to know that the tradition in which I was raised is not problematic to you.And just for the record, I've never concerned myself much over denominational differences. I am certainly not of the Mel Gibson Catholic variety as that man is clearly a lunatic and I couldn't care less about what the Pope says. To me he is just an old man with a funny hat elevated to a position of prominence by other old men.My faith has always been a comfortable mantle for me. I was born and raised in Europe and during my travels there my greatest joy would be to visit the majestic cathedrals in France and Italy and sit in silence and observe the beauty of the stained glass depiction of Jesus' last days on earth and I would prefer to go to the old churches when few people where there, when it is quiet.I am not one to worship in crowds for some reason.My problem,however, runs deep.I still go to church and I still enjoy the serenity of it, but lately when I look upon a statue of Jesus at the cross I no longer get the same feeling of solace I used to get and I see only a poor man being murdered by vicious, unenlightened people and then I begin to wonder why I still go there.Isn't it hypocritical to go to the house of God if you have no true feeling of connection to your faith anymore ? It makes me feel like an impostor, a dilettante.I have always been a avid reader and lately I have been studying books which I would never have picked up in my younger years. Such as works by Vonnegut, Twain, Russell and Wilde and even though I can appreciate the authors' talents I often come away from them feeling insulted as they have few complements to pay to my religion. I am well aware that I am their intellectual inferior and this creates a dissonance which I find burdensome.I can't describe my ambivalence any plainer than this: Are these men right and am I deluding myself yet again or can I find some irrefutable proof of the righteousness and validity of our faith to attach myself to ?To Jon-Marc,I truly hope you will consider getting into a relationship again.I know it is not easy, but I can not imagine a life without the touch of someone you love.
 

Christina

New Member
Apr 10, 2006
10,885
101
0
15
I have found through my own experiences in life that sometimes when you feel this way that is when God can really mold you. It is when you are broken and in dispair that all your preconceived notions are destroyed and you can come to God as a child that is when he can make a real vessel out of the clay (you). But only you can give him and yourself the oppertunity to fix what is broken so I pray you will study for awhile and give it a chance.Christ was not murdered by thugs he gave his life so you might have yoursso that when you fall short you could repent and become clean.Trust that he has a plan for you and try to figure out what that plan is rather than put your efforts into wondering if he exists. One of the best ways to do this is get to know him You have accepted that he exists for most of your life from what you say. But it doesnt seem you ever really got to know him. He wrote you letter in his Word did you ever love him enough to really read it?To study it to hear what he really says? This is where you start. There is much more to his words then you have ever been taught. I promise you will be in awe again if you get to know him on a personal level. All knowledge comes through him.
 

Peacebewithyou

New Member
Nov 6, 2007
426
0
0
56
(Soso;23004)
My problem,however, runs deep.I still go to church and I still enjoy the serenity of it, but lately when I look upon a statue of Jesus at the cross I no longer get the same feeling of solace I used to get and I see only a poor man being murdered by vicious, unenlightened people and then I begin to wonder why I still go there.Isn't it hypocritical to go to the house of God if you have no true feeling of connection to your faith anymore ? It makes me feel like an impostor, a dilettante..
May I reccomend two great books - both written by a former atheist who wanted to expose the foolishness of Chrisitianty so he started gathering research and eventually he realized that he was the one who had been wrong all along. They are called The Case for Christ and The Case for Faith by Lee Strobel. Maybe they will help you, In addition to everything else that's been said. I am sorry you're going through this crisis of faith - how alone & empty that must make you feel? I can't imagine. Hang in there though. He is soooooooo worth finding your way back to.
 

Peacebewithyou

New Member
Nov 6, 2007
426
0
0
56
(kriss;23006)
Christ was not murdered by thugs he gave his life so you might have yoursso that when you fall short you could repent and become clean.Trust that he has a plan for you and try to figure out what that plan is rather than put your efforts into wondering if he exists. One of the best ways to do this is get to know him You have accepted that he exists for most of your life from what you say. But it doesnt seem you ever really got to know him. He wrote you letter in his Word did you ever love him enough to really read it?To study it to hear what he really says? This is where you start. There is much more to his words then you have ever been taught. I promise you will be in awe again if you get to know him on a personal level. All knowledge comes through him.
Please listen to what's being said - it is so true. You start at Jesus and go from there.
 

Soso

New Member
Nov 16, 2007
6
0
0
59
(kriss;23006)
I have found through my own experiences in life that sometimes when you feel this way that is when God can really mold you. It is when you are broken and in dispair that all your preconceived notions are destroyed and you can come to God as a child that is when he can make a real vessel out of the clay (you). But only you can give him and yourself the oppertunity to fix what is broken so I pray you will study for awhile and give it a chance.
I think you may be right Kriss. Perhaps what may at first seem to be only a downward spiral can allow us to come out of the valley and reinvent ourselves and gain a better understanding of what we truly belief. I just wish it didn't have to be such a struggle, and such an uncertain one at that.Thanks again for your advice.
 

Jordan

Active Member
Apr 6, 2007
4,875
6
38
(Soso;23010)
(Kriss;23006)
I have found through my own experiences in life that sometimes when you feel this way that is when God can really mold you. It is when you are broken and in dispair that all your preconceived notions are destroyed and you can come to God as a child that is when he can make a real vessel out of the clay (you).But only you can give him and yourself the oppertunity to fix what is broken so I pray you will study for awhile and give it a chance.
I think you may be right Kriss. Perhaps what may at first seem to be only a downward spiral can allow us to come out of the valley and reinvent ourselves and gain a better understanding of what we truly belief. I just wish it didn't have to be such a struggle, and such an uncertain one at that.Thanks again for your advice.She is right. I prefer you take and read off the KJV (King James Version) and Strongs Exhaustive Concordance. (so you can get the REAL truth in God's Words) The other bibles aren't trustworthy at all. Want to know more...you can read and look at my thread under my signature.I love you so very much Soso.Lovest ye in Christ Yahshua, Lord and Saviour of the world.
 

Faithful

New Member
Jul 13, 2007
368
6
0
(Soso;23010)
I think you may be right Kriss. Perhaps what may at first seem to be only a downward spiral can allow us to come out of the valley and reinvent ourselves and gain a better understanding of what we truly belief. I just wish it didn't have to be such a struggle, and such an uncertain one at that.Thanks again for your advice.
Hi Soso,Your faith isn't lost and as all have said you hacve gone through a very painful period. Sometimes when we are at the bottom we have to look up and see things from a different place in our lives. God loves you and this has not changed, your confidence has taken a battering and I dare say you feel lost without your life with your family. You have a time to take stock and come back up with a new outlook and able to cope better with life.The word says, proverbs 3:3-6.3.Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart: 4.So shalt thou find favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man. 5.Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6.In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.It just takes you to trust him. Your paths directed by him.Take time to heal and be good to yourself. Don't beat yourself up and trust the Lord to do as he promises as you keep thanking him and praying.Love Faithful.
smile.gif
 

blessed1195

New Member
Nov 9, 2007
62
1
0
65
It wasn't until I went through all the struggles in my life that I realized it was Jesus that carried me through the hardtimes. Did you ever hear of the poem "Footprints"? It is a good reminder of how Jesus is there with us always.I picked up a couple concerns you had with your faith. thesuperjag gave you great advice as far as Bible study tools. I also recommend shepherdschapel. On tv, early in the morning or on the web,shepherdschapel.com. The teacher will teach you GOD's word back to the original languages so you learn the Bible chapter by chapter,verse by verse with understanding. That is the key to obtaining the peace of mind you are seeking. The more you seek, the more understanding you will be given. Remember,all widsom comes from GOD. Proverbs 1:7 tells us "the fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge ( translate fear to reverence or the love ) but fools despise wisdom and instruction". Also, Luke 11:9,10" Jesus speaking" And I say unto you,Ask and it shall be given you;seek and you shall find;knock and it shall be opened unto you.10) For every one that asketh receiveth;he that seeketh findeth;and to him that knocks, it shall be opened."Now this doesn't mean if you want a new car, GOD will give it to you but if you are searching in GOD's word and you need an understanding, he will give it to you. Pray about it. Also, if you need something in order to bring forth his word to others, he will help you. But you must be doing work for him. Our job as Christians is to save souls from the cluthes of evil, whether that be smiling on someone who is sad or teaching GOD's word. We are a part of the many membered body of Christ and we all have different roles.As far as your divorce, I also went through a divorce. Here are some things you need to know. No one wants a divorce but it happens, some people just don't get along in marriage. My first husband chose Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer over me and 2 beautiful babies, a beautiful home ..... I had to leave him when his hands started to end up on me and I was told I could lose my kids, if he ever hurt the kids when he was drunk. No one in my family had ever been divorced. Many years later, he is remarried but still drinking, my kids are in college and love both their parents and I am happily remarried. Repent for your part in your divorce. Christ will forgive you. There is only one unpardonable sin in Luke 12:10 which can't even be committed yet.Lastly, Did you know that GOD is a divorcee? Please read Jeriamiah 3:8. God divorced Israel.Also, Jesus used a 5 time divorced women, who was also living with another man at that time, in Samaria( John 4: 5-29) to preach to a whole city that the Messiah was here.GOD created you just the way he wanted you. You are the only one with your DNA. He even knows the number of hairs on your head(Matt 10:30) Make him happy in all you do and when you don't, ask GOD for forgiveness in Jesus' name and change your ways(ie.,repent).When you get stuck in your studying you can always come here and ask for help. Even though I am new to this site, I have found there are many biblically literate folks here, which is very refreshing.Hope this helps!
 

Soso

New Member
Nov 16, 2007
6
0
0
59
Thank you for your post Blessed1195,It is good to hear that you have arisen from your destructive marriage not unlike that mythical bird.I can not tell you how stimulating it is to hear from people who went through this and came out fine.I have found out over the last two years that of all the virtues hope is the one that no one can really live without for very long. To have nothing to look forward to is just so soul-shatteringly bleak.Please don't think me a blasphemer but I even think that a person could live for sometime without true faith, as I have for some time, but to live without hope is to lose one's desire to live.I have observed this when I was traveling through the former Eastern-block in Europe (before the collapse of the Soviet union). The people there, in East Germany, Romania and elsewhere, were not only poor, but they had no hope of ever improving their lives and it showed in their faces. The daily grind, the numbing pointlessness and nothingness of living in a communist state, with nothing to look forward to.So thanks again for showing me a positive example and I wish you nothing but happiness.(blessed1195;23081)
It wasn't until I went through all the struggles in my life that I realized it was Jesus that carried me through the hardtimes. Did you ever hear of the poem "Footprints"? It is a good reminder of how Jesus is there with us always.
Yes, I have read it many times and in my opinion it is one of the most eloquent Christian inspired poems I have come across.
thesuperjag gave you great advice as far as Bible study tools. I also recommend shepherdschapel. On tv, early in the morning or on the web,shepherdschapel.com. The teacher will teach you GOD's word back to the original languages so you learn the Bible chapter by chapter,verse by verse with understanding.
This is where I shall probably part ways from many here.To preface, please note that the Catholic church is hierarchic in the extreme and this is one of its worst features in my opinion.I don't care at all for television, I think it numbs our minds into apathy and reduces our creativity and our sense of wonder for Creation. I care even less for preachers and especially preachers on TV whose sincerity I find suspect to say the least. One who flies in a private jet and wears a $ 5000 suit but claims to know Jesus better than me is an open fraud. I have never understood why a person who is made just like me in the image of God should be able to understand God's word better than I can.Where do they get this authority from ?I think it necessary and useful to converse with my fellow Christians and even non-Christians about how they live their lives and what their thoughts are, but should we not be suspicious towards those who claim to know the Bible better than us ? We can all read and we are all born with pretty much the same mental gifts.Sorry if I sound callous and obtuse but we mustn't be blind to the reality that there are many preachers and 'experts' who purport to have our best interests in mind while it is obvious that what they truly seek is power over us and their lustful eye is more interested in the content of our wallet than our salvation.
 

Christina

New Member
Apr 10, 2006
10,885
101
0
15
Yes you should be cautious its called decernment check it out in his word if someone cant back up what they are saying in Gods word or give you proof besides my pastor or my neighbor or my church said so do not take it as fact like I told you all knowledge comes from God so if God tells us something you can take it to the bank if men tell you something the cant back it up with scripture take it for what it is worth. You will learn this with a little study.for example;Divorce you know what church's teach but what does God Say?He says he hates divorce, he says he divorced Israel and her people,He says he will remarry the Bride of ChristNow I know some of this is symbolism but no where in Gods Word does it say Divorce is unforgivable that one should not remarry, He simply said he hates divorce well honestly who doesnt? It is painful and devastates all involved.He also says he will take a new brideHe also says all sins and blasphemes will be forgiven (except one and it has nothing to do with the average person)So wherein Gods word is the teaching of what the church says??It is not there it is men who have taken the Word out of context put their own spin on it and called it Biblical. Now common sense tells you God is right and the church is wrongGod wants us to be happy
 

blessed1195

New Member
Nov 9, 2007
62
1
0
65
Soso,The man I have told you about is a linquist( ancient Hebrew and Greek- thelanquages of the original manuscripts) and he tells you to check him out in GOD's word. He doesn't ever beg for money because Jesus sent his apostles out without scrip bags (which meant begging bags at that time - please refer to Matt10:10,Mark6:8 and Luke10:4) because if they are teaching GOD's word, then GOD will provide. I'd check that website out on the internet if you want help to begin your studies.Christianity is a reality not a religion. This quote originates from my teacher. We are to be Can-do Christians, meaning we have to take action and seek our living GOD through his word and the living word of GOD is Jesus Christ-Rev19:13.I am sorry you have seen terrible things in Europe. I live in USA and I hear terrible lies on tv, from newscasters and from agenda oriented journalists in the papers. The far-left Democrats in our government, who are funded by a man who believes in open society- probably a Kenite, are trying to destroy our country. Thank GOD, I know the end of the story, so I don't worry. Most people lose hope and have fear because of the unknown. If you get in GOD's wordand learn it with understanding and I promise you, the Holy Spirit will work with in you and you will be so happy. It doesn't mean life will be perfect, but you will know how to handle situations like you never did before.I'll keep you in my prayers!In Jesus' name I pray,blessed1195
 

Peacebewithyou

New Member
Nov 6, 2007
426
0
0
56
(kriss;23108)
God wants us to be happy
Actually God wants us to be obedient - even if that makes us unhappy in the short term. True happiness comes only from obedience to God.
 

jkeithbrock

New Member
Nov 6, 2007
16
0
0
45
I too know what it is like to have doubts about God. I was angry at God when my father committed suicide. I yelled at God asking him how he could let something that happen. I too have had problems in my marriage. I finally set down to evaluate my life and I came to the realization that I shouldn't be mad at God for my father. It happened because my father wasa weakened state of mind and he failed to turn to God. My problems in my marriage weren't Gods' fault either. It was my fault for not being the husband I should have. I prayed to God that he give me the strength to change what I needed to. We all go through doubts when it gets rough, but God will never put anything on us that we can't handle
 

blessed1195

New Member
Nov 9, 2007
62
1
0
65
You said it Brother! One of the most important Bible verse we all need to remember is : 1Cor 10:13 " There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man; but GOD is faithful,who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able;but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it"Bottom line: all things that happen to you have happened to someone else too. Also, GOD will never allow things that are more than you can bear and he will always give you a way out. GOD doesn't send burdens on us. I urge you to read Jeriamiah 23:33-40 about this subject. Life happens and GOD will always see us through.He will never leave us or forsake us.
 

Soso

New Member
Nov 16, 2007
6
0
0
59
I will never claim to know the mind of God, but if I had to make my best guess I would say that He would look more kindly on an honest agnostic than a pretend-Christian.I have not been honest with myself and with you for if I search my heart truly than I can not say that I believe anymore.I realize that this will alienate me from my family and probably from most of you on this board and hence I think it inappropriate to stay here and be an apostate amongst Christians.You have shown me much kindness and wisdom but is is not ethical for me to demand any more of your time and effort.It is a strange thing, slowly losing your faith over the years, and it is surely frightening ( especially if you were told about hell fire all your life ) but there is a place somewhere inside of me that tells me it is alright.Perhaps I am once again deluding myself, but I can not bare this uncertainty anymore.I will have to take my stance and I refuse to go through life as a hypocrite who says he believes but really doesn't. I can not imagine that God, if He really exists will pass a kinder judgment on me if I just feign a love for Christ without actually feeling it in my soul.It is an unfair question to ask, but do you think that if I die in my current state of mind and there is a loving Father after all that he will receive me anyway or discard me into everlasting pain ?Again, thank you for your kindness and please don't think too badly of me.Sincerely,Soso
 

Christina

New Member
Apr 10, 2006
10,885
101
0
15
reguardless of your Catholic upbringing the Word of God does not say one will burn in hell forever. In fact God says to believe on Christ,love the Lord, Repent of your sin, Follow the ten commandments(Law) in your life style and thats it all the rest of the rules are mostly of men. God wants you to simply love him and talk to him like you would a flesh father. To lean on him when your lost. And rejoice with him when your happy.I will say again you never knew him, you only believed because you were taught to.How can you leave what you never knew?I am sorry I will say a prayer for you. If you change your mind we are always hereGod Bless