(CassiLee;31749)
I rarely talk about this, but I think God has answered many of my prayers about this.I was diagnosed with clinical depression many years ago, and have had on and off struggles for a long time. Long story short: There were many times when I was trying to deal with a situation and I could not figure out how to cope. So, I would harm myself, sometimes seriously, sometimes not too seriously. But I often did not remember what exactly happened, just the general chain of events.There were certain times I did remember everything; many of these times was before I came back to The Lord. But, and some of these even happened after I repented and wanted Christ first in my life, I would shake myself around violently, scratching my chest or neck or arms, or even cut myself with a razor and just keep cutting, countless times. I know these things happened, but I do not have any idea what I was thinking or feeling at the time.I know that evil in the world and sin in our lives is definitely a cause of this. But there really were times I felt like... I was somewhere else, or I wasn't me anymore. It was very frightening and scary to me. I don't like to talk about it, but I have prayed about it. I haven't had that happen in many months, which I am so thankful for. I have been tempted to hurt myself before, but God always gives me a sign or just holds me and shows me that He is there and I am okay. :amen:
Hi Cassilee,I've suffered anxiety,panic and a deep depression for many years of my life. Mental illness runs in my family. Even when at first I became to know Jesus, I still sruggled a lot with my condition. I didn't get any support or proper guidance or teaching for a long time. I went to so deep depression that I needed medical help. I loved the Lord with all my heart, He was the only one that I really could trust. People prayed for me, Pastor casted out the devil. I was prayed a lot. I asked God why He didn't want to heal me, I did not get the answer, I still loved God but I felt a bit angry, because I thought I wanted to be healed, the Bible promises us healing, but I was not healed.Many times I asked God to take me to heaven, because I was not able to help anybody the way I was, I felt so useless. For me it's been a long journey like a process. What I've been through has tought me a lot. I'm thankful for people who understood and were there for me, I'm thankful for my supportive husband, who was there for me.He always said: "There is a bigger purpose for me going through that. God has a reason for me to go through this." I'm even thankful for those people who had judgemental attitude, through them I grew stronger as a person. If I'd have instant healing I would have not understand what it's like to suffer from anxiety, panic, depression. I'm not against instant healing actually I pray that for people that they would not need to suffer that way. But now I have compassion for people in similar cases. Everybody is different. And there are some that you are unable to help. I just thank God how He's been faithful and that He did not heal me right away. I've grown as a person so much through this. So for me it's been a Blessing. And I've been able to to testify God's faithfulness and love for other sufferers.God Bless,Thunder1