Why Unmarried Christians Are Having Sex

LightMessenger · Apr 24, 2015

Why Unmarried Christians Are Having Sex
By Chanel Graham

http://www.urbanfaith.com/2012/07/why-unmarried-christians-are-having-sex.html/

"According to the National Association of Evangelicals, 80 percent of unmarried evangelical Christians between ages 18-29 admit to having had premarital sex, a shocking figure when measured against the number of pledges made in youth ministries and wristbands worn endorsing abstinence around the country throughout the late ’80s and early ’90s."

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It is so easy to point fingers and accuse others who do not fall into the group called "Unmarried Christians" of sinning by having sex outside of marriage. But when it happens to those in that Christian group who are having sex it suddenly becomes a horse of a different color that many do not care to acknowledge. We cannot have such a double-standard by any means. Those in the unmarried Christian group must own up to their shortcomings and sin just as everyone else in order to avoid the hypocrisy of the situation. Thanks to Urban Faith for this great article.

pom2014 · Apr 24, 2015

Of course this is sin.

It's to be repented and never done again.

Many will do the first part but not the second.

StanJ · Apr 24, 2015

I guess it depends on what you consider unmarried? I'll bet you dollars to donuts it's NOT a Biblical perspective.

ATP · Apr 24, 2015

Also a sin. The Bible is clear on this too.

Dan57 · Apr 25, 2015

Yes, its called fornication, and its why we have 25% single parent families. Ignoring God's rules is never a good idea, but many Christians yield to fleshly desires. Self-discipline? Who needs that?

DogLady19 · Apr 25, 2015

StanJ said:
I guess it depends on what you consider unmarried? I'll bet you dollars to donuts it's NOT a Biblical perspective.

I'm curious as to what you believe is the Bible perspective of "unmarried"... can you explain?

It is my understanding that marriage in the Bible requires a monogamous life-time commitment to another person. The Bible also implies that some divorced people commit adultery if they re-marry.

What's your take on this?
Sin always complicates life and distances us from God. Avoiding sin is practical common sense. Even if a person's goal does not include being more like Jesus, sin will result in consequences that impact the sinner and those around him/her.

Even looking at extra-marital and pre-marital sex as a purely secular issue, it is evident that it causes dysfunction, disappointment, heart-break and self loathing...

Our media and social culture promotes promiscuity as natural. Virginity as unnatural. Young people buy this... those that are still virgins think they are the only ones not having sex, which is a lie.

I used to teach an abstinence class years back to 7th & 8th graders. I would start by asking the guys to raise their hand if they preferred to marry a virgin. Most did. I then asked them if they had ever talked a girl into having sex with them. Most did.

I asked the girls to look at how many of the guys around them valued virginity in a future wife. They were shocked (especially since some were having sex with guys who raised their hands). "If you're having sex now, it's obvious they don't look at you as marriage material," I told them.

I then told the guys to look at the ones in the room who are the most likely to take the virginity of their future wife. Their faces distorted as if they could picture it happening.

It really made an impact.

StanJ · Apr 25, 2015

DogLady19 said:
I'm curious as to what you believe is the Bible perspective of "unmarried"... can you explain?

It is my understanding that marriage in the Bible requires a monogamous life-time commitment to another person. The Bible also implies that some divorced people commit adultery if they re-marry.

What's your take on this?

Sin always complicates life and distances us from God. Avoiding sin is practical common sense. Even if a person's goal does not include being more like Jesus, sin will result in consequences that impact the sinner and those around him/her.

Even looking at extra-marital and pre-marital sex as a purely secular issue, it is evident that it causes dysfunction, disappointment, heart-break and self loathing...

Our media and social culture promotes promiscuity as natural. Virginity as unnatural. Young people buy this... those that are still virgins think they are the only ones not having sex, which is a lie.

I used to teach an abstinence class years back to 7th & 8th graders. I would start by asking the guys to raise their hand if they preferred to marry a virgin. Most did. I then asked them if they had ever talked a girl into having sex with them. Most did.

I asked the girls to look at how many of the guys around them valued virginity in a future wife. They were shocked (especially since some were having sex with guys who raised their hands). "If you're having sex now, it's obvious they don't look at you as marriage material," I told them.

I then told the guys to look at the ones in the room who are the most likely to take the virginity of their future wife. Their faces distorted as if they could picture it happening.

It really made an impact.

My take on marriage is based on Gen 2:24 and in essence one is married when he KNOWS ( has sexual relations with) a woman.
Yes it is supposed to be monogamous and life long, regardless of how man does mess it up.

Indeed sin separates us from God, and some more than others. Sexual sin is one of many issues in the Levitical/Mosaic laws. Leviticus deals with nothing but that.
IMO when the NT refers to 'sexual immorality', it refers to Lev 18. There is a lot of studying needed to fully comprehend this issue, and the following is on of the best teaching I have ever read. http://www.biblicalperspectives.com/books/marriage/1.html and you should read all five chapters that are linked on the left hand side of the page, or get the book.

Yes, sadly horniness is part of youth and used to be the domain of young men. I don't think it is as much as it used to be anymore in that many young girls feel they need to assert their independent feminism by essentially being as promiscuous as the guys are. The BOC needs to deal with this issue a lot more than quote scripture. It needs some very SOLID teaching. My youngest son, who professes Christ, was as promiscuous as his unbelieving friends before he got married. Sadly I think it will be a detriment to his marriage, but of course God is ALWAYS faithful. He confessed to me recently that he would like his wife to be a lot more, inventive in the marriage bed, but of course that is because he has been desensitized by his own promiscuity.

DogLady19 · Apr 25, 2015

StanJ said:
My take on marriage is based on Gen 2:24 and in essence one is married when he KNOWS ( has sexual relations with) a woman.
Yes it is supposed to be monogamous and life long, regardless of how man does mess it up.
...

Thanks for the link. I like this statement:
"In fact, for many today the [serial monogamy] better satisfies the quest for greater self-fulfillment and gratification"

That is the truth... gratification of the flesh is the goal of many monogamous relationships these days, not the commitment to become one and create a symbolic replica of the marriage between Christ and the Church...

What would it look like if God practiced serial monogamy??? Ugh!

(What is "BOC"?)

StanJ · Apr 25, 2015

DogLady19 said:
(What is "BOC"?)

Body Of Christ.

Foreigner · May 9, 2015

If the statistics given at the beginning of this thread are true, then the adage about 'narrow is the road and few is the number...' is more correct that we would like to think.

But I would quote the article itself:
"According to the National Association of Evangelicals, 80 percent of unmarried evangelical Christians between ages 18-29 admit to having had premarital sex..."

That is very different from the title of this thread, "Why Unmarried Christians Are Having Sex."

That is like saying that since 60% of Christians have gotten drunk in their youth at least once, therefore 60% of Christian youth are alcoholics.

Having dabbled/experimented/reveled in something or engaged in it out of weakness, and then turned away from it is different than continuous non-stop, unapologetic involvement in something, no?

Are there Christian Youth involved in continuous pre-marital sexual activity by choice? Yes.

Are 80% of all Christians between the ago of 18-29 currently doing that? Highly doubtful.

But again - as in many things - it comes down to the definition of "Christian." Many consider themselves Christians, but have never really lived their lives for Christ, committed their lives to Christ or have chosen to truly serve Him.

I was that type of 'Christian' for years before I realized how wrong I was.

JimParker · May 25, 2015

LightMessenger said:
Why Unmarried Christians Are Having Sex
By Chanel Graham
http://www.urbanfaith.com/2012/07/why-unmarried-christians-are-having-sex.html/

*********************************************************************************************

It is so easy to point fingers and accuse others who do not fall into the group called "Unmarried Christians" of sinning by having sex outside of marriage. But when it happens to those in that Christian group who are having sex it suddenly becomes a horse of a different color that many do not care to acknowledge. We cannot have such a double-standard by any means. Those in the unmarried Christian group must own up to their shortcomings and sin just as everyone else in order to avoid the hypocrisy of the situation. Thanks to Urban Faith for this great article.

Because sex is more fun than obedience?

heretoeternity · Jul 5, 2015

Was going to ask the poster to define "marriage" and "sin" but Stan I think you covered it rather well

tooldtocare · Jul 5, 2015

[SIZE=18pt]Folks, is masturbating at 65 thinking about that beautiful girl I see on TV a sin-?[/SIZE]

tooldtocare · Jul 5, 2015

May you and yours live long and prosper

heretoeternity · Jul 5, 2015

Folks, is masturbating at 65 thinking about that beautiful girl I see on TV a sin-?[/size]

Sounds like you need a woman TOTC..take the advice of Apostle Paul "if you burn with passion, get yourself a wife" 1st Corinthians 7-9

mjrhealth · Jul 7, 2015

Sounds like you need a woman TOTC..take the advice of Apostle Paul "if you burn with passion, get yourself a wife" 1st Corinthians 7-9

Not always an option - especially when Christ has you for Himself

mjrhealth · Jul 7, 2015

Because sex is more fun than obedience?

That and because most people are human, than there are christians. Perfect it seems.

Look at me God I am not like those other people.

In all His love

Josho · Jul 21, 2015

I'm from this generation, I'm 19, and I know the simple answer to that question, the answer is "deception", where does deception come from? The Devil, who and what the devil use as a tool to deceive others? The media, music, the lyrics in songs are getting worst and worst, it's very easy to find songs about drinking, partying, seductive women and fornication, even worst a lot of these songs are from people who call themselves Christians. Then you have movies and tv shows, how hard is it to find a clean movie these days? Then you have young Christians with non-Christian friends who drag them into all these sinful activities. That's why Christians have became so open these days to sin, they have forgotten the truth, that's why gay marriage is now allowed in USA, that's why people abort their babies, that's why sex outside of marriage is becoming more popular.

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Why Unmarried Christians Are Having Sex

LightMessenger

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