I have suffered from mental illness and depression since I was a preteen. The fact that the other kids in school teased me and made fun of me did not help my self esteem at all. For a while I was angry with God because he made me different, made me a looser and idiot, a nerd and weakling, that was what I thought of myself. It was hard to love myself. I thought I could love other people, for example my mom, dad, and sister, but it is hard to love others when one does not love oneself. I knew God loved me, but I read verses in the Bible and stayed fixed on the negative verses to use and excuse to think God is furious, mean, crazy jealous and likes to hurt people, discriminates against women and people with dark skin, But the more I read the Bible, the more I sought out who God is, the more He loved me and fought for me, the more he wiped my tears away,. and I discovered what true love is.
I got involved in fantasy the sword and sorcery type. I was interested in fantasy novels, fairy tales, mythology from many different cultures, folk lore, folk stories, legends, like King Arthur and Robin Hood, medieval stories. I liked unicorns and fairies, and when I became a young adult I liked dragons. I associated myself with dragons, went to a website with people pretending to be dragons.
They were what is called "otherkin" who are people claiming they have the soul of a fantasy creature, a dragon, unicorn, fairy, elf, werewolf, mermaid, etc. there were people claiming to be werewolves or vampires, and of course a lot of witch people, and wizards/warlocks.
I created a dragon character named Seraphina Starfire. She was a sapphire and amethyst dragon, later on I made her into a peacock dragon. She was beautiful, kind, sweet and generous, a good dragon who believed in Jesus Christ and helped out humans. But she could also be a fierce fighter when fighting bad guys. I realized dragons were a symbol of Satan from reading the Bible, but for years I struggled and tried to compromise. I said dragons could be good and Christian. Then I realized they were likes huge snakes, alligators and crocodiles. They ate people, and i had nightmares about dragons trying to eat people.
So I decided to stop the dragon association, and just stick with fairies and unicorns. I could just have angels butterflies and horses.
The depression would really beat my down sometimes. I would cry and feel like I have a broken heart. Jesus Christ healed my broken heart. His loved freed me from the bondage of fantasy lies. There are Disney movies and children's movies with magic in them, I am not sure if they are good or bad. Would you let your kids watch Frozen, or Moanna? I am not sure what other movies Disney has come up with, but I know they have a gay day parade. lgbt is a sin. I want to write Christian fantasy stories, or Christian historical stories, with some romance. I want to write about God's love, and show it in my paintings. He saved me from myself.
I got involved in fantasy the sword and sorcery type. I was interested in fantasy novels, fairy tales, mythology from many different cultures, folk lore, folk stories, legends, like King Arthur and Robin Hood, medieval stories. I liked unicorns and fairies, and when I became a young adult I liked dragons. I associated myself with dragons, went to a website with people pretending to be dragons.
They were what is called "otherkin" who are people claiming they have the soul of a fantasy creature, a dragon, unicorn, fairy, elf, werewolf, mermaid, etc. there were people claiming to be werewolves or vampires, and of course a lot of witch people, and wizards/warlocks.
I created a dragon character named Seraphina Starfire. She was a sapphire and amethyst dragon, later on I made her into a peacock dragon. She was beautiful, kind, sweet and generous, a good dragon who believed in Jesus Christ and helped out humans. But she could also be a fierce fighter when fighting bad guys. I realized dragons were a symbol of Satan from reading the Bible, but for years I struggled and tried to compromise. I said dragons could be good and Christian. Then I realized they were likes huge snakes, alligators and crocodiles. They ate people, and i had nightmares about dragons trying to eat people.
So I decided to stop the dragon association, and just stick with fairies and unicorns. I could just have angels butterflies and horses.
The depression would really beat my down sometimes. I would cry and feel like I have a broken heart. Jesus Christ healed my broken heart. His loved freed me from the bondage of fantasy lies. There are Disney movies and children's movies with magic in them, I am not sure if they are good or bad. Would you let your kids watch Frozen, or Moanna? I am not sure what other movies Disney has come up with, but I know they have a gay day parade. lgbt is a sin. I want to write Christian fantasy stories, or Christian historical stories, with some romance. I want to write about God's love, and show it in my paintings. He saved me from myself.
