What if the truth hurts?

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followerofchrist

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Nov 22, 2007
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I have many times been asked the question, do we speak the truth even if it will hurt someone's feelings? There are some things we view as our rights that really aren't. We have the right to speak our minds, but does that mean we always should really say whatever is on our minds? Do we have the right to hurt people with our words just because they're true? As Christians we are to lay down our self-interest and consider others more important than ourselves (see Philippians 2:3-4). This is so different from our culture and what we usually feel in our hearts. But if we're to follow the example Jesus set for us, sacrifice for others can't be dismissed.Just because it is your right doesn't always mean that it is the RIGHT THING TO DO!
 

RaddSpencer

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Mar 28, 2008
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(followerofchrist;50346)
I have many times been asked the question, do we speak the truth even if it will hurt someone's feelings? There are some things we view as our rights that really aren't. We have the right to speak our minds, but does that mean we always should really say whatever is on our minds? Do we have the right to hurt people with our words just because they're true? As Christians we are to lay down our self-interest and consider others more important than ourselves (see Philippians 2:3-4). This is so different from our culture and what we usually feel in our hearts. But if we're to follow the example Jesus set for us, sacrifice for others can't be dismissed.Just because it is your right doesn't always mean that it is the RIGHT THING TO DO!
I don't know man,You should try your best to tell them the truth in the most "flattering way" possible.However, if you don't tell them the truth, then you don't care anything about them.Prov 27:6 "6Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful."If your friend wounds you, it is for your own good. Maybe they see something destructive in your life, that needs to be removed --- they may have to slap you upside your head to get your attention.You shouldn't become angry with your brother who wounds you out of love. Its not easy for him to do so; he knows that you could go ballistic and throw him out of your life (this has happened to me btw). Its immature, and idiotic to throw a close friend out of your life because he wounded you faithfully. AND IF YOU DO SO, YOU don't deserve his friendship!!Here is some more information on this subject.[url="http://www.pbc.org/files/messages/7156/4217.html]http://www.pbc.org/files/messages/7156/4217.html[/url]
 

setfree

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Oct 14, 2007
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Maybe I misread the post, but I took it....As the one correcting not in the right spirit(just because he can! Just because he is right!) In light of what RaddSpencer states ( in the right spirit-Love), Yes! even if it hurts....but never in a self righteous way!
 

followerofchrist

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Nov 22, 2007
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I don't know man, You should try your best to tell them the truth in the most "flattering way" possible. However, if you don't tell them the truth, then you don't care anything about them. Prov 27:6"6Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful." If your friend wounds you, it is for your own good. Maybe they see something destructive in your life, that needs to be removed --- they may have to slap you upside your head to get your attention. You shouldn't become angry with your brother who wounds you out of love. Its not easy for him to do so; he knows that you could go ballistic and throw him out of your life (this has happened to me btw). Its immature, and idiotic to throw a close friend out of your life because he wounded you faithfully. AND IF YOU DO SO, YOU don't deserve his friendship!! Here is some more information on this subject.http://www.pbc.org/files/messages/7156/4217.html
I'm not saying lie, or even to sugar coat the truth. I'm saying that its not uncommon for us, people in general to say things that didn't need to be said and then justifying it by saying its the truth. There are kids at my school who pick on one of my friends and call him fat, he IS extremely obese so its the truth but its one that doesn't need to be thrown in his face everyday. There are many truths in this world that people already understand and don't have to be told, yet others choose to vocalize these truths that are unecessary and only cause others pain.My whole post was about whether or not it was always wise to speak our minds. Not a single person here can say that they have never been walking in a store and seen somebody and immediately judged them by how they look or act without knowing them, but you don't go up and say it to them. Our minds and tounges are very difficult to control but all the more necessary at the same time.There are people who are overly harsh and critical with others who claim no fault because their statement holds truth. Not everything that pops into our heads needs to be said, if it is, we won't have many friends left to be truthful with. I and I assume most everyone is engaged in a constant battle with themselves trying to keep their mind pure, hard to do that if you shout out everything you think.
 

followerofchrist

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Nov 22, 2007
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(setfree;50364)
Maybe I misread the post, but I took it....As the one correcting not in the right spirit(just because he can! Just because he is right!) In light of what RaddSpencer states ( in the right spirit-Love), Yes! even if it hurts....but never in a self righteous way!
Yes, that is exactly what I meant.
 

RaddSpencer

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Mar 28, 2008
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(followerofchrist;50370)
I'm not saying lie, or even to sugar coat the truth. I'm saying that its not uncommon for us, people in general to say things that didn't need to be said and then justifying it by saying its the truth. There are kids at my school who pick on one of my friends and call him fat, he IS extremely obese so its the truth but its one that doesn't need to be thrown in his face everyday. There are many truths in this world that people already understand and don't have to be told, yet others choose to vocalize these truths that are unecessary and only cause others pain.My whole post was about whether or not it was always wise to speak our minds. Not a single person here can say that they have never been walking in a store and seen somebody and immediately judged them by how they look or act without knowing them, but you don't go up and say it to them. Our minds and tounges are very difficult to control but all the more necessary at the same time.There are people who are overly harsh and critical with others who claim no fault because their statement holds truth. Not everything that pops into our heads needs to be said, if it is, we won't have many friends left to be truthful with. I and I assume most everyone is engaged in a constant battle with themselves trying to keep their mind pure, hard to do that if you shout out everything you think.
You would be surprised how many "Christians" hate (and I mean HATE) to be wounded by a friend. Most people really would rather have their ears tickled rather than be challenged to do better spiritually.It just comes down to spiritual immaturity.Paul rebuked the Corinthians, and they threw a hissy fit over it. He was trying to help them, but they were so full of themselves, that they couldn't handle it.
 

followerofchrist

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Nov 22, 2007
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Thats true, people don't like it even when it is honsest criticism because it makes them acknowledge their faults. And that goes against our nature. And something people consider even worse is something that forces them to change themselves, correcting faults in yourself is hardwork and people don't like that. They would much rather point out fault in others. Its alot easier to see the fault in others than it is to really look into the mirror.
 

percoid

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Jun 20, 2008
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The truth to many and probably to most is like a slap in the face and many will not know how to handle it. Tell the truth even it leads to ur death.It did lead to many of Jesus's desciples death. First by telling the truth the blood of those u told the truth to will not be on ur hands and second when u stand before God u will not be asked, Why did u lie.