I'm Dying

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Letsgofishing

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I think I’m dying. I’m dying, but not physically, dying physically wouldn’t upset me or affect nearly as much. It’s in the realm of the temporary, the unimportant. No as a so called Christian I recognize what to be afraid of, not the temporary but the eternal. I feel like my soul is dying. The bible suggests that it is not the people who have never known God that lose their salvation, but the people who have known of God and freely turn their back on him. And I, one of the few who have heard God speak, one of the few who have no doubt of Gods love, Gods power and Gods strength, am betraying him. I try to repent, but it seems like I am not repenting of my sins but repenting of God, that I could have ever tried to live for the Merciful Most high. I find my self freely spinning in circles coming closer to the realization that I will abandon the God that loves me so much. On that last day, Jesus will have his arms open wide, and say with great pride “well done my faithful servant.” And I will be the one turning my back to him saying “I never knew you” And finish the path to my impending doom.[/COLOR] And I have no idea how to stop it. No idea. Anyday now I will freely drop my greatest treasure.
 

RaddSpencer

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I think I’m dying. I’m dying, but not physically, dying physically wouldn’t upset me or affect nearly as much. It’s in the realm of the temporary, the unimportant. No as a so called Christian I recognize what to be afraid of, not the temporary but the eternal. I feel like my soul is dying. The bible suggests that it is not the people who have never known God that lose their salvation, but the people who have known of God and freely turn their back on him. And I, one of the few who have heard God speak, one of the few who have no doubt of Gods love, Gods power and Gods strength, am betraying him. I try to repent, but it seems like I am not repenting of my sins but repenting of God, that I could have ever tried to live for the Merciful Most high. I find my self freely spinning in circles coming closer to the realization that I will abandon the God that loves me so much. On that last day, Jesus will have his arms open wide, and say with great pride “well done my faithful servant.” And I will be the one turning my back to him saying “I never knew you” And finish the path to my impending doom.[/COLOR] And I have no idea how to stop it. No idea. Anyday now I will freely drop my greatest treasure.
You are overdoing this man. You have freewill --- only YOU can reject God. Only you can turn your back on God. Its really up to you, and you do have a choice in the matter.Yet those who wait for the LORDWill gain new strength;They will mount up with wings like eagles,They will run and not get tired,They will walk and not become weary.Isaiah 40:31And as the honorable reverend "T" says:"Be still and know He is God, FOO!!!!"10Be still, and know that I am GodPsalm 46:10Whatever you are going through right now, maybe you should wait on the Lord and not do anything rash.
 

treeoflife

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LGF,Feelings both good and bad can be decieving. Sometimes we get the feeling something is GOOD, but God's Word says otherwise. Sometimes we get the feeling something is BAD, but God's Word says otherwise.The question is, "What does God's Word tell you about who you are, and where you are going?"God's Word trumps all feelings, particularly the feeling of condemnation (if that is what you were expressing) because you have trusted Christ. Thank God our salvation is not dependent upon our feelings or the state of mind!
1 John 3:19-21: And hereby we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before him. For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things. Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God.
Here is the simple answer... I believe you are down because you are trying to find confidence in yourself... you can't seem to wrap your hands around it, but you just can't be confident in yourself. You just don't seem to be good enough... true! Truly, you shouldn't be! God doesn't ask you to take confidence in yourself or be good enough... He tells us to take confidence in Him, and trust in Him.So, to resolve this... simply, let the peace of God that surpasses all understand gaurd your heart and mind. Have confidence in Him (and HIM ALONE), and rest.
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He is able to keep you, all on His own, all by His own.
 

Letsgofishing

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LGF,Feelings both good and bad can be decieving. Sometimes we get the feeling something is GOOD, but God's Word says otherwise. Sometimes we get the feeling something is BAD, but God's Word says otherwise.The question is, "What does God's Word tell you about who you are, and where you are going?"God's Word trumps all feelings, particularly the feeling of condemnation (if that is what you were expressing) because you have trusted Christ. Thank God our salvation is not dependent upon our feelings or the state of mind!
1 John 3:19-21: And hereby we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before him. For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things. Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God.
Here is the simple answer... I believe you are down because you are trying to find confidence in yourself... you can't seem to wrap your hands around it, but you just can't be confident in yourself. You just don't seem to be good enough... true! Truly, you shouldn't be! God doesn't ask you to take confidence in yourself or be good enough... He tells us to take confidence in Him, and trust in Him.So, to resolve this... simply, let the peace of God that surpasses all understand gaurd your heart and mind. Have confidence in Him (and HIM ALONE), and rest.
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He is able to keep you, all on His own, all by His own.
Tree Of life I have lost all confidence in myself, when I depended on myself I digged myself into a huge hole. So I looked through the scriptures and I learned to have confidence in Christ. I turned to him, confessed to himand I keep digging that hole, I expected him to make my burden lighter, but it just became heavier, I expected him to carry my cross, but instead he just gave me another one. The problem is I ahve lost confidence in God, i don't want to turn to him, Instead I depend on my sins and no matter how sick I am of my sins I can't stop depending on them. How true was Jesus when he said "No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.'and for someone reason I cannot not find a way to serve God. I can't find a way to lean on him.So I am slowly despising him.
 

Jackie D

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I have one question Lgf...is it possible that the God you are learning to despise is the God man has made and not the true God and Father? Just a question, I have no idea what your circumstances or your sins are that weigh so heavy on you so I can only ask that question.hold on okay? I will be keeping you in prayer
 

Rudy

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Tree Of life I have lost all confidence in myself, when I depended on myself I digged myself into a huge hole. So I looked through the scriptures and I learned to have confidence in Christ. I turned to him, confessed to himand I keep digging that hole, I expected him to make my burden lighter, but it just became heavier, I expected him to carry my cross, but instead he just gave me another one. The problem is I have lost confidence in God, i don't want to turn to him, Instead I depend on my sins and no matter how sick I am of my sins I can't stop depending on them. How true was Jesus when he said "No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.'and for someone reason I cannot not find a way to serve God. I can't find a way to lean on him.So I am slowly despising him.
Sounds like you're going through what the Apostle Paul was going through when he wrote Romans chapter 7...Romans 7:18-25For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me.For I delight in the law of God after the inward man:But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? [ANSWER --] I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord.LGF, you can't do it all on your own, but at the same time, you can't expect God to do it all for you. You said that you expected God to pick up your cross because He promised to make our burdens lighter, but that is not what the Scriptures say. "Come to me all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart: And you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy [other translation, good], and My burden is light [other translation, easy]." Matthew 11:28-30"Then He said to them all, 'If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me.'" Luke 9:23God never promised us an easy road. He said that the easy road was the one that leads to destruction, but the hard road is the way that leads to life. However, just because the road is hard does not mean that God's way of doing things is hard. Remember that God did promise to be there to help us always, and if He is at our side, directing our steps, even if we fall, we won't be completely cast down, because God upholds us with His hand. (Psalm 37:23-24) And when we fall, we should not stay down in the mud and dirt, but we should get back up and try again. As we become transformed by the renewing of our minds (through reading God's Word every day), it get's easier and easier because God will show you what He wants you to do. All it takes to make it hard is for you to start making excuses and then not do what God wants you to do. You can't quit! Persistance is the key! Most people quit right before their victory! Hang in there! You can do it!"I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13Notice that it doesn't say "some things," or "most things," but "ALL things." And through Who? CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS YOU!:read: And the way to know what you should do to serve God is to read His Word every day and when you see something that you should or shouldn't be doing, take it to heart to make changes in those areas. If you are really sick of your sins, you will do whatever it takes to be as good as you can be for God, so I would suggest that when you see a sin mentioned in the Bible (especially something that you are doing), write it down and make a note not to do it again. We all stumble, but the important thing, as I said before, is to get back up again. Don't let Satan keep you down; If he can keep you down, he's won. Pray about those things that you have noted not to do, asking God to help you not to do it again. God WILL help you, but you have to continue to rely on Him and not give up! "Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and do not lean on your own understanding; in all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He WILL direct your path." (Proverbs 3:5-6) God sees your heart, so if He sees that you are really, truly trying, He will show you what to do to serve Him (and part of serving Him is keeping from sin)...I'll be praying for you. Once again, hang in there!
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"There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit..." Ro 8:1
 

RaddSpencer

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Tree Of life I have lost all confidence in myself, when I depended on myself I digged myself into a huge hole. So I looked through the scriptures and I learned to have confidence in Christ. I turned to him, confessed to himand I keep digging that hole, I expected him to make my burden lighter, but it just became heavier, I expected him to carry my cross, but instead he just gave me another one. The problem is I ahve lost confidence in God, i don't want to turn to him, Instead I depend on my sins and no matter how sick I am of my sins I can't stop depending on them. How true was Jesus when he said "No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.'and for someone reason I cannot not find a way to serve God. I can't find a way to lean on him.So I am slowly despising him.
Come on Brother, it is obvious that you are frustrated with God about something (maybe your in-ability to knock off some sin). 4 Love is patient, love is kind and (B)is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, (E)does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7However, from personal experience, I have learned that God does his finest work in our times of greatest frustration and tribulation. Brother, this is you:LGF: Guys I don't feel that God is working in my life:Holy Spirit: BANG, BANG, REEEEHHEEEER --- RAT-AT-TAT-TAT, BANG, BANGLGF: Whoa is me, I'm beginning to doubt my relationship with GodHoly Spirit: REEEEHHEEEER, BANG, BANG, LGF: I Feel that I'm going to....Holy Spirit: SMASH -- clang.clang.clang , Beep-beep-beep-beepLGF: I SAID, I'm not sure if I'm going to make it this time.Come on brother, take it easy. Take that frown and turn it upside down
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. Praise God in your time of difficulty and trials --- even if you don't feel like it.Five Iron Frenzy --- Flowery Songhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQTyjatRw5Q
 

treeoflife

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and I keep digging that hole, I expected him to make my burden lighter, but it just became heavier, I expected him to carry my cross, but instead he just gave me another one. The problem is I ahve lost confidence in God, i don't want to turn to him, Instead I depend on my sins and no matter how sick I am of my sins I can't stop depending on them.
All I can say is that if your burden is heavy, it isn't from Jesus. Jesus says His burden is light, and his yoke is easy and I believe He means that. I think if you read your whole reply over again, you will see that it isn't His burden alone that you are trying to carry.
1 John 5:3:For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.​
When Jesus said His burden is light... I am convinced His burden is so light that it is like carrying nothing at all. Like in 1 John 5:3 says, his commandments are not grievous (burdensome) at all.Sure, we are to strive and make it our goal to please Him, but He only desires that we walk with Him, and let Him carry the heaven burden. Place your confidence in Him, and Him alone, for everything. Your salvation, and the salvation of everyone else. I know personally, I have probably struggled through a time much like what you are feeling now. I believe that God will bring you through it, and you'll be sronger than ever... but he'll be carrying the heavy load
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Red_Letters88

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I have one question Lgf...is it possible that the God you are learning to despise is the God man has made and not the true God and Father? Just a question, I have no idea what your circumstances or your sins are that weigh so heavy on you so I can only ask that question.hold on okay? I will be keeping you in prayer
This is pretty much what I was going to respond with. Letsgofishing- you act like you are usless to God unless you are in some high postition being thrown into prisons... Serving and following God can be done in ALL things. Throw tomorrow out of your mind and ask for guidance for THIS day. You are not promised tomorrow. In everything you do, ask Jesus that he helps you use each moment for his glory. This needs to be solved through you and God- none other. Leave all other baggage behind and seek the good in each thing everyday.
 

Letsgofishing

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I want to thank all of you .Radd- you were raddical ( ha ha Ok bad joke) You have a unique gift of making even the toughest times seem like a time for worship. Your description of the holy spirit was unique, funny, and strangly accurate.Rudy- You found the perfect scripture, I mean just perfect. I want to thank you for that and all of the advice you gave after it.Tree Of life- The Holy spirit was speaking through you. Every post of yours attacked a major problem, your first my too shattered confidences, confidence in myself and confidence in God. And your second my failure to let God take my cross because of my lack in confidence. You were one of the most helpful in this thread.Red Letter- your post amazed me the most because I have no idea where you got the idea that I felt like I wasn't doing enough for God when I was living for him, but you were spot on. I intend to take your advice as soon as God drags me back on track.So what am I going to do now. I have not gained confidence in myself when it comes to spirituality, But Following what Paul said I will not attempt to get out of this using myself. Jesus said that he would leave 99 sheep to just find one.I have put my trust back in him, I will wait for him to get me back.Thank you everyone.Ryan FitzP.S- one question, can you possibly throw me some tips on how to truly repent, every time I try I fail, like I'm only turning halfway to God and not fully. Thank You
 

Jackie D

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Lgf, last fall I was going through something that seems similar to what you are dealing with. I struggled and struggled with being better and confessing things that I felt had to be the problem because I just felt like I have utterly failed and that God was not there. I kept asking why He is so quiet, why didn't He seem to talk to me anymore....things like thatOne morning after a particularly difficult few days I woke up very wide awake but I just laid on my bed not really thinking or anything...just awake. Then I heard softly but firmly " silence does not always mean conflict"...a few mornings later He spoke quietly again "Jackie relax"....I guess what I am trying to get at here is that we don't always know the reasons for why we are going through a particular part of our journey and they can be frightening for us. But there is one thing we must always try to remember and that is we are to REST in Him and that we are to trust that though He feels galaxies away, He has not left us nor will He. Stop trying so hard to find the "right" way to do things Lgf and let the Lord guide you. Stop worrying so much that you have not confessed properly and that you have failed. Even though your mind is telling you that you have done it wrong, or didn't really mean it or whatever it is that your self is trying to convince you of, God is the discerner of your heart and He knows YOU...A contrite heart is what He wants from us, try letting that be sufficient for now and wait a bit more patiently for Him to pull on you again...you are no further from Him than you were when you felt you had an awesome relationship with Him. He is in control here, let Him have the wheel and try sitting back and relaxing for a while.
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Hey there is a book out that you might enjoy and that might help you some...It is called "Hinds Feet On High Places"...I highly recommend it to every person who has a relationship with the Good Shephard.be blessed
 

RaddSpencer

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I want to thank all of you .Radd- you were raddical ( ha ha Ok bad joke) You have a unique gift of making even the toughest times seem like a time for worship. Your description of the holy spirit was unique, funny, and strangly accurate.
Yea, its time to run when He gets a-hold of the holy-torch-cutter , ROFL (I'm jokin, I'm jokin).Don't worry about it. Radd is actually an 80's Japanese to English name which hasn't aged well in the video game world
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. The character, now, has a new name -- Nathan.Anyways, we have ALL been through this trial before.1. You feel like the Lord has abandoned you.2. You feel like you are going nowhere with God.3. You get over emotional and dramatical
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.4. Then, the Holy Spirit is finished.Its amazing how often I fall for this trick. I've been through these things before, but I ALWAYS think the Lord has abandoned me. However, to my surprise the Lord was with me during the entire process!
 

Red_Letters88

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Red Letter- your post amazed me the most because I have no idea where you got the idea that I felt like I wasn't doing enough for God when I was living for him, but you were spot on. I intend to take your advice as soon as God drags me back on track.So what am I going to do now.
Let me explain why I responded the way I did.First because of this: you said " I try to repent, but it seems like I am not repenting of my sins but repenting of God, that I could have ever tried to live for the Merciful Most high. I find my self freely spinning in circles coming closer to the realization that I will abandon the God that loves me so much."The reasons for my post:1. Feeling like you arent living up to God which I focused on is a always a part of the equation that is present when we stumble. This is a very effective device of our enemy. If satan can get our eyes on US instead of God, we see ourselves and the failures of ourselves. However- Christ rewrote all of that.2. Main reason why I responded like that was because this is how your situation applies to me. When I stumble in my walk it is most always because I feel like I should be some kind of hero martyr by now. But through my brothers and sisters in Christ Ive realized- We should seek to serve the Lord in everything. We as humans always try to put values on everything. The Lord says come to Him everyday in everything. Like I said, If the eyes are on us, we see our own failures- when we should be looking for the Lord in everything- showing just how much he provides and guides us.
 

Learning

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Sometimes I can feel myself distancing from God. Keep talking to Him. It doesn't have to be formal. Try to come here and post a few replies. I don't have the close relationship that I know I should have with Him but I am trying. Seems the more I think about it the more I find myself doing other things. Keep talking to Him. Think of it as beautiful friendship that has ran into trouble and is worth saving.
 

followerofchrist

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I'm right there with you LGF! It seems my relationship with God has gone from strong to weak to just no there anymore...everything seems so hopeless. If I can't get back to God I know I will never make it out of this.But don't worry bro, God walks with you in your darkest moments. Like the good book say's, Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, [a] I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. We are given comfort in Hebrews 10: 32-3932Remember those earlier days after you had received the light, when you stood your ground in a great contest in the face of suffering. 33Sometimes you were publicly exposed to insult and persecution; at other times you stood side by side with those who were so treated. 34You sympathized with those in prison and joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property, because you knew that you yourselves had better and lasting possessions. 35So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. 36You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. 37For in just a very little while, "He who is coming will come and will not delay. 38But my righteous one[f] will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him."[g] 39But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved. Don't give up hope man, Gods with you, and he will bring you back. Don't expect him to lift you up out of your struggle, but rather that he walk with you through the struggle. Our faith follows the Law of Undulation, there are ups and there are downs in all things. You have just hit a down.
 

Jordan

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I'm right there with you LGF! It seems my relationship with God has gone from strong to weak to just no there anymore...everything seems so hopeless. If I can't get back to God I know I will never make it out of this.But don't worry bro, God walks with you in your darkest moments. Like the good book say's, Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, [a] I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. We are given comfort in Hebrews 10: 32-3932Remember those earlier days after you had received the light, when you stood your ground in a great contest in the face of suffering. 33Sometimes you were publicly exposed to insult and persecution; at other times you stood side by side with those who were so treated. 34You sympathized with those in prison and joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property, because you knew that you yourselves had better and lasting possessions. 35So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. 36You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. 37For in just a very little while, "He who is coming will come and will not delay. 38But my righteous one[f] will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him."[g] 39But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved. Don't give up hope man, Gods with you, and he will bring you back. Don't expect him to lift you up out of your struggle, but rather that he walk with you through the struggle. Our faith follows the Law of Undulation, there are ups and there are downs in all things. You have just hit a down.
Yea, I understand how you guys feel... I am strong in my faith, yet still very weak. How can I say that?, Because my brothers and sisters are dying in the Faith, and for that reason, makes me weaker than I was before...
 

Jordan

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Well lets look on the bright side, there is strength in numbers. We will get back to God together!
Good point, as numbers in the bible are so significient.
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followerofchrist

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Good point, as numbers in the bible are so significient.
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And so far we got 3, and that is a number in the bible. Thats good right?
 

Jordan

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And so far we got 3, and that is a number in the bible. Thats good right?
Yes...name 3.THREE. Denotes completeness, as three lines complete a plane figure. Hence, three is significant of Divine perfection and completeness. The third day completes the fundamentals of creation-work. The fourth, fifth, and sixth days are the counterpart and repetition of the first, second, and third, and correspond respectively. (See the structure of Gen. 1, p. 3.) The number, three, includes resurrection also; for on the third day the earth rose up out of the deep, and the fruit rose up out of the earth.Spiirituality in Numbers