Hi,
For some time now (many years) I've been in a bad place concerning spiritual pain, emptiness, darkness and destitution. I believe it's because of past sins, and that God is punishing me for it.. however these sins were from many years ago, and since then I've made a full confession and repentance of those sins to God through faith in Christ. But regardless of that confession and repentance, i still feel that God's hand is against me, as much as a curse.. for no matter how much i pray, everything remains the same.
But i find this very confusing, because Christ died and was punished in my place for all my sins, so why when having faith in Christ in full confession and repentance would God be punishing me, when Jesus has already paid the price for all sins..
I really feel as though God is speaking to me in these verses of Job, which makes me feel as though my days are to be shortened, is this the forgiveness and love of God?
JOB 15, from verse 20 to 35.
20 The wicked man writhes in pain all his days, through all the years that are laid up for the ruthless. 21 Dreadful sounds are in his ears; in prosperity the destroyer will come upon him. 22 He does not believe that he will return out of darkness, and he is marked for the sword. 23 He wanders abroad for bread, saying, ‘Where is it?’ He knows that a day of darkness is ready at his hand; 24 distress and anguish terrify him; they prevail against him, like a king ready for battle. 25 Because he has stretched out his hand against God and defies the Almighty, 26 running stubbornly against him with a thickly bossed shield; 27 because he has covered his face with his fat and gathered fat upon his waist 28 and has lived in desolate cities, in houses that none should inhabit, which were ready to become heaps of ruins; 29 he will not be rich, and his wealth will not endure, nor will his possessions spread over the earth; 30 he will not depart from darkness; the flame will dry up his shoots, and by the breath of his mouth he will depart. 31 Let him not trust in emptiness, deceiving himself, for emptiness will be his payment. 32 It will be paid in full before his time, and his branch will not be green. 33 He will shake off his unripe grape like the vine, and cast off his blossom like the olive tree. 34 For the company of the godless is barren, and fire consumes the tents of bribery. 35 They conceive trouble and give birth to evil, and their womb prepares deceit
JOB 16, from verse 6 to 22.
6 “If I speak, my pain is not assuaged, and if I forbear, how much of it leaves me? 7 Surely now God has worn me out; he has [1] made desolate all my company. 8 And he has shriveled me up, which is a witness against me, and my leanness has risen up against me; it testifies to my face. 9 He has torn me in his wrath and hated me; he has gnashed his teeth at me; my adversary sharpens his eyes against me. 10 Men have gaped at me with their mouth; they have struck me insolently on the cheek; they mass themselves together against me. 11 God gives me up to the ungodly and casts me into the hands of the wicked. 12 I was at ease, and he broke me apart; he seized me by the neck and dashed me to pieces; he set me up as his target; 13 his archers surround me. He slashes open my kidneys and does not spare; he pours out my gall on the ground. 14 He breaks me with breach upon breach; he runs upon me like a warrior. 15 I have sewed sackcloth upon my skin and have laid my strength in the dust. 16 My face is red with weeping, and on my eyelids is deep darkness, 17 although there is no violence in my hands, and my prayer is pure. 18 “O earth, cover not my blood, and let my cry find no resting place. 19 Even now, behold, my witness is in heaven, and he who testifies for me is on high. 20 My friends scorn me; my eye pours out tears to God, 21 that he would argue the case of a man with God, as [2] a son of man does with his neighbor. 22 For when a few years have come I shall go the way from which I shall not return.
For some time now (many years) I've been in a bad place concerning spiritual pain, emptiness, darkness and destitution. I believe it's because of past sins, and that God is punishing me for it.. however these sins were from many years ago, and since then I've made a full confession and repentance of those sins to God through faith in Christ. But regardless of that confession and repentance, i still feel that God's hand is against me, as much as a curse.. for no matter how much i pray, everything remains the same.
But i find this very confusing, because Christ died and was punished in my place for all my sins, so why when having faith in Christ in full confession and repentance would God be punishing me, when Jesus has already paid the price for all sins..
I really feel as though God is speaking to me in these verses of Job, which makes me feel as though my days are to be shortened, is this the forgiveness and love of God?
JOB 15, from verse 20 to 35.
20 The wicked man writhes in pain all his days, through all the years that are laid up for the ruthless. 21 Dreadful sounds are in his ears; in prosperity the destroyer will come upon him. 22 He does not believe that he will return out of darkness, and he is marked for the sword. 23 He wanders abroad for bread, saying, ‘Where is it?’ He knows that a day of darkness is ready at his hand; 24 distress and anguish terrify him; they prevail against him, like a king ready for battle. 25 Because he has stretched out his hand against God and defies the Almighty, 26 running stubbornly against him with a thickly bossed shield; 27 because he has covered his face with his fat and gathered fat upon his waist 28 and has lived in desolate cities, in houses that none should inhabit, which were ready to become heaps of ruins; 29 he will not be rich, and his wealth will not endure, nor will his possessions spread over the earth; 30 he will not depart from darkness; the flame will dry up his shoots, and by the breath of his mouth he will depart. 31 Let him not trust in emptiness, deceiving himself, for emptiness will be his payment. 32 It will be paid in full before his time, and his branch will not be green. 33 He will shake off his unripe grape like the vine, and cast off his blossom like the olive tree. 34 For the company of the godless is barren, and fire consumes the tents of bribery. 35 They conceive trouble and give birth to evil, and their womb prepares deceit
JOB 16, from verse 6 to 22.
6 “If I speak, my pain is not assuaged, and if I forbear, how much of it leaves me? 7 Surely now God has worn me out; he has [1] made desolate all my company. 8 And he has shriveled me up, which is a witness against me, and my leanness has risen up against me; it testifies to my face. 9 He has torn me in his wrath and hated me; he has gnashed his teeth at me; my adversary sharpens his eyes against me. 10 Men have gaped at me with their mouth; they have struck me insolently on the cheek; they mass themselves together against me. 11 God gives me up to the ungodly and casts me into the hands of the wicked. 12 I was at ease, and he broke me apart; he seized me by the neck and dashed me to pieces; he set me up as his target; 13 his archers surround me. He slashes open my kidneys and does not spare; he pours out my gall on the ground. 14 He breaks me with breach upon breach; he runs upon me like a warrior. 15 I have sewed sackcloth upon my skin and have laid my strength in the dust. 16 My face is red with weeping, and on my eyelids is deep darkness, 17 although there is no violence in my hands, and my prayer is pure. 18 “O earth, cover not my blood, and let my cry find no resting place. 19 Even now, behold, my witness is in heaven, and he who testifies for me is on high. 20 My friends scorn me; my eye pours out tears to God, 21 that he would argue the case of a man with God, as [2] a son of man does with his neighbor. 22 For when a few years have come I shall go the way from which I shall not return.
