Block Pornography

Amen

I am no techy...I hope someone can help you, it must be such a worry for you both . ✟

jonasnoah said:

Good Day!

Unfortunately, my wife and I had to make a very bad discovery. We have found out that our oldest child (13 years old) was watching filthy pornographic videos on the internet. Naturally, we talked to him about this issue and explained the dangers of pornography. He promised to not watch it again, but now realising how sudden such a problem can occur (we are a deeply religious family), I am asking you fellow brothers and sisters for help. We would like to ban all possibilities of pornography from our house, without completely preventing our children of using their smartphones. If someone has a solution, please please help us!

May the Lord protect us.

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Hello jonasnoah,

I feel your pain. I have 6 kids, 10-22 years.
My experience is that it is impissible to prevent access to these things, they are pervasive throughout the 'culture of death' that we now live in.

Heart2Soul's advice to have the 'man to man' talk is a good one.

Its important that they know they can discuss these things with you without being afraid of your responses.

And pray! Call on the Lord, to send His holy angels to watch over them.

Trust that He loves them even more than you do, and that He will lead them, correct them, draw them,and sanctify them.

'this promise is for you and for your children'

Trust that He will make up for our mistakes...

Introduce them to the stories of the lives of the Saints of the Church, and encourage them to turn to examining their stories rather than the stories of pop culture...

And pray, pray for guidance and the Grace to fullfil your duties...

Almighty Father, we ask that you aid our children. Hold them close to your heart. Send your holy angels to watch over them, and draw them to your Son, our Lord, Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, forever and ever!
Amen

May the peace and Grace of our Lord be with you in this and always!

With technology today, you can't really prevent a person from having access to junk. Even if you go completely tech-free at your house, kids have friends and other sources.

Rather than focusing on making the storm go away (that's impossible), it's better to give your kid and umbrella, explaining how & why to use it. And then keep the communication bridges open to keep having those conversations and being a source of strength/refuge in their lives.

ha make em pay the phone bill

It might help him if you spoke candidly about the birds and the bees with him without the distortion with your hang ups.

He is trying to answer these questions for himself possibly because he feels that he cannot talk with you about this adolescent time of discovery caused by his God given hormones.

Shalom

jonasnoah said:

First of all, thanks very much for the kind replies - much appreciated View attachment 9533
Apparently, completely blocking porn and similar filth without turning off the internet is truly almost impossible. We found this guide on the internet and we will try it now. It teaches the proper way of dealing with kids in such a situation:
OYPV2

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I feel the best approach with children, especially boys in this case would be for you sir to be extra mindfully of how they see you relate to mom. Most likely this is what they will model.

Just a thought as I read the OP.
A question arose in my mind as I read his age, and the fact that you are a religious family. How did he find the porn to watch. It may be wise to find out why he was watching it ( curiosity or something more ) and also who suggested the links and how. Did he just come across the videos , I know sometimes you can type something innocent into the search and very weird links come up. I am not tech minded, but blocking access to certain things may not get at the source of how and why he went on to the links in the first place.

When it’s your oldest child, and you are Christian, it can hit so many different emotions in you as parents.
I remember when my oldest did something I did not agree with at that age - I felt such a failure as a Christian mum x
-
13yrs is a difficult age as your body changes, all my sons were different at that age, internet was not a real part of my eldest sons life ( thank goodness ) my middle son just never did much to cause concern ( he had a good group of friends ) and my youngest, well he didn’t have such a good lot of friends - but his issues were linked to other things.
Hope someone can help with the tech side of things x
Rita

I wasn't allowed to be on the internet till I graduated highschool. But I had a dumb phone. I am sure some flip phones still exist these days, but it may help him kick that habit. I think you can also set up a filter/parental controls to keep an eye when he is on the internet, what he is watching. Accountability and prayer is some of the biggest things you can do, as well as the purity ring challenge....

Mayflower said:

I wasn't allowed to be on the internet till I graduated highschool. But I had a dumb phone. I am sure some flip phones still exist these days, but it may help him kick that habit. I think you can also set up a filter/parental controls to keep an eye when he is on the internet, what he is watching. Accountability and prayer is some of the biggest things you can do, as well as the purity ring challenge....

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My dad has a flip phone, and I keep going to touch the screen when he asks me to sort things out, and when it comes to writing a text on it, drives me nuts !!
Anyhow, they do still exist xx
Rita

jonasnoah said:

Good Day!

Unfortunately, my wife and I had to make a very bad discovery. We have found out that our oldest child (13 years old) was watching filthy pornographic videos on the internet. Naturally, we talked to him about this issue and explained the dangers of pornography. He promised to not watch it again, but now realising how sudden such a problem can occur (we are a deeply religious family), I am asking you fellow brothers and sisters for help. We would like to ban all possibilities of pornography from our house, without completely preventing our children of using their smartphones. If someone has a solution, please please help us!

May the Lord protect us.

Click to expand...

Anything of this nature has a behind the scenes reason for it. It does not just happen. He is accessing it because he has a deficiency in his makeup that he feels will be met by watching porn. Something somewhere along the way has caused this deficiency and the answer for him is pornography.

The first thing I would do is to let him know that you are not going to punish him for looking at porn which is pointless because it won't stop him doing that. I would ask him if he would tell you why he needs to look at porn. Until you know the reason for that you will get nowhere. Because of what he has been told or heard from other boys he may feel inadequate as a person or he is trying to prove something about his masculinity.

Perhaps he is wanting to have sex with a girl because other boys have talked about it and at that age, they tend to brag about what they have done when in fact they haven't, but cannot because of your deeply religious ideas which he is angry about because of the restrictions put on him.

He has to know that you still love him regardless of the porn thing. Be patient and talk. Even ask him to show you what he likes looking at and ask him why he likes that. Once his fences are down it will surprise you what he is willing to admit to.