Sexual limitations

  • Welcome to Christian Forums, a Christian Forum that recognizes that all Christians are a work in progress.

    You will need to register to be able to join in fellowship with Christians all over the world.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless!

Status
Not open for further replies.

amadeus

Well-Known Member
Jan 26, 2008
22,394
31,447
113
80
Oklahoma
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
A short testimony if you don’t mind. Several years ago I was writing smut and publishing it. Erotica. It was after erotica and sexual bondage became so popular with fifty shades. So many authors were going in that direction, the world wanting raunchy stories they could dive into and escape. During that time I was in a very dark place. Convicted over and over, more and more. For years justifying and asking even my counselor ‘it is not bad is it.’? As a Christian counselor her advice was Christian women want realistic stories not shying away from sex but as long as the motive is good, I think it is okay. But no matter how many said it was okay. it didn’t feel okay. Song of Solomon was one where I could justify God is okay with erotica. Still remember that day I came into full agreement with Him the sin was not my writing erotica but was the harm against others by leading into bondage, promoting dark things done in secret, enticing lust and planting it and helping it grow. (Imo) Song of Solomon is not erotica. Although the world says it is and views it as such. Erotica gets in your mind and entices one to imagine all sorts of images like porn.
What I was writing was not clean. What God writes is clean. To see oral sex promoted in the Word is comparing semen to the immaculate seed. They are not the same. To say His seed remains, in you. Intimacy and sex, they are different. Comparing sex and intimacy is like comparing water where you thirst and again and are never satisfied, with the Living water where one never thirsts again.

Erotica and the worlds love for it, willing to buy it up and mass produce it because it sells well...would be careful in what we say ‘see there, God promotes it.’ You can google now how God supports men with men and find the verse used to support the idea, but that doesn’t make it so. Can take the verses in Song of Solomon and as using Gods word to support men with men, support ‘see there, it supports oral sex too.’ God does not publish erotica. God published His Word. Seed. Tasting of fruit and He that love it will eat the fruit thereof. Breast with milk ...When every day it is spoken of those still in need of milk ...how then does it become comparing carnal things to Him?
"And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day." Gen 1:31

God created and/or made it all very good. Already on this thread someone has mentioned that the supposedly 'lower' animals have done and do just about everything. In those animals it is not evil because they don't have the hearts and minds of men. They don't look at or see things as good and evil. So which ones are the 'lower' animals?

At the first with Adam and Eve it was a simple clear cut disobedience with no innuendos, no hidden agendas of worse things to come to be seen... but consider then what it says here:

"But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die." Gen 2:17

Eating of it, be it a physical tree or only a symbolic thing of something spiritual, it was a real beginning... or was it a real end or the real beginning of the end for men who would continue to eat of it... even after Jesus opened the Way to eat of that other tree, the Tree of Life?

In a sense those lower animals, all of them, were the 'clean beasts' which men could eat while men, themselves, after that first disobedience had become the 'unclean beasts' unfit to eat. God never stopped working with them and some of them pushed or were pulled toward becoming clean as we see here:

"And to Seth, to him also there was born a son; and he called his name Enos: then began men to call upon the name of the LORD." Gen 4:26

But then how long was until we see this?

"And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.
And it repented the LORD that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart.
And the LORD said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them." Gem 6:5-7


God was sifting through all of the garbage that men had made of themselves from that which had been "very good". Men, for the most part, were working to making things worse and worse until no man could really sort it all out at all. Don't just consider what you
and others have posted but look also at the what's new on TV and in the movies today! Zombies and vampires! What is a zombie? The walking dead:

"And another of his disciples said unto him, Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father.
But Jesus said unto him, Follow me; and let the dead bury their dead." Matt 8:21-22

Even Jesus was surrounded by Zombies and now we are displaying them on TV and arguing on a Christian forum about them among ourselves. Help us dear Lord!

And are there any vampires on our entertainment screens today, those who drink the blood of men, the life of the flesh?

“For the life of the flesh is in the blood: and I have given it to you upon the altar to make an atonement for your souls: for it is the blood that maketh an atonement for the soul.” Lev 17:11

But the Life of spiritual man is the blood of Jesus, which is the Spirit which quickens [brings Life].

When I saw the title this thread at the first I did even want to read the OP. All of us have or have had or our own demons and our own past. For you and a few others [few compared to the billions on the other side] there is a testimony of what God has done.

God has through His Son brought many [or should I say 'few'?] to real Life again, the Life lost by Adam and Eve and smothered in confusion by their offspring to the point where many do not even pay lip service to doing that the "very good" or encountering the "very good" lost so long ago. Who knows what is good?

Too much emphasis on directing ourselves and others [as if we are so 'very good' they must listen to us] in how to live this temporal life and to properly enjoy it... Some build on the idea that Jesus did all of the work so we need not do anything but believe that he did it all.

Where should the emphasis be?

"Master, which is the great commandment in the law?
Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
This is the first and great commandment.
And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself." Matt 22:36-39

Not only those who admit themselves and even proclaim themselves to be unbelievers, but even those who are mouthing continuously that they believers in God while denying His ability to make them clean now.

The old man of us, apparently still alive in many who say they have been "saved" is indeed perhaps the lowest of animals, the most unclean of all animals as manifested all around us and in ourselves. Even Noah at the very top of those " saved" missed his way badly... after God had saved him.

So many people, calling themselves believers too, want to put it all back on God and not even be required to do what little they really can in order to approach again that "very good"....

"I said in mine heart concerning the estate of the sons of men, that God might manifest them, and that they might see that they themselves are beasts.
For that which befalleth the sons of men befalleth beasts; even one thing befalleth them: as the one dieth, so dieth the other; yea, they have all one breath; so that a man hath no preeminence above a beast: for all is vanity." Ecc 3:18-19

" And he said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God: but if thou wilt enter into life, keep the commandments." Matt 19:17
 

VictoryinJesus

Well-Known Member
Jan 26, 2017
9,581
7,857
113
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
I would agree. I still don't understand why people have a problem with certain kinds of kissing for a married couple, though.
I can not find anywhere that the Word prohibits kissing below the waist in the marriage bed.
If there's such a verse I'm interested in hearing it.

not suggesting there is a problem. Was thinking the other night about natural birth and Spiritual birth. What a blessing it is to experience the natural birth, and delivering of a child. Or to see your children grow up and deliver children of their own, and to watch those children grow up. Not trying to knock the natural or the blessing of experience or the relationships or what anyone does in their home. Only suggesting it is concerning to hear or read on google even by those who openly say they do not believe in God but are atheists, say how erotic the Word is. Using it even to their advantage. I’ve been there...but no longer see Song of Solomon as erotic.
 
  • Like
Reactions: amadeus and Renniks

marks

Well-Known Member
Oct 10, 2018
33,156
21,420
113
SoCal USA
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
Yes, a counter argument for carnal people and/or deluded people who have only men's laws and the enforcement thereof to protect them from the worst things of the flesh. Believers who are really filled with the Holy Spirit and are not quenching the Spirit nor in delusion as they walk as man and wife must decide for themselves... They may ask for advice, but that is up to them, is it not?

Who should intervene in the lives of two Spirit filled people who love God and hear His voice?

"But he that entereth in by the door is the shepherd of the sheep.
To him the porter openeth; and the sheep hear his voice: and he calleth his own sheep by name, and leadeth them out.
And when he putteth forth his own sheep, he goeth before them, and the sheep follow him: for they know his voice.
And a stranger will they not follow, but will flee from him: for they know not the voice of strangers." John 10:2-5

When either one or both of them are not a sheep, then we have a different premise from the start.

Good answer!
 
  • Like
Reactions: amadeus

Hidden In Him

Well-Known Member
May 10, 2018
10,600
10,883
113
59
Lafayette, LA
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
I never even mentioned sodomy?
And the passages I quoted strongly imply something oral going on...

Renniks, maybe I misunderstood, but most people who read the words "oral sex" will associate that with more than just kissing a woman's breasts (I am referring to your Post #22). You do understand, oral sex is included under the all-encompassing term sodomy, yes?

Sodomy - Wikipedia
 

DPMartin

Well-Known Member
Jan 30, 2014
2,698
794
113
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
I've seen a person get banned from a forum just for bringing up this topic but on another forum ive seen one of the most intriguing conversations. These are genuine questions that many theologians have spent time pondering along with the average person... So im hoping a civilized discussion can ensue here without anyone getting triggered...

We know that sex has to be performed in a traditional hetrosexual marriage but what is sex?
Does God place any limitations in the bedroom?
On one hand a person in another forum said that his priest told him that anything outside of missionary position was sinful.
On the other hand there is hand sex, oral sex, anal sex and toys...

So, what do u think? Where do u draw the line? Where do u think God draws the line?


what goes on behind closed doors of a consenting married (male/female) couple and only them, the Lord doesn't have a problem with. people do, to justify this that and the other. but the Lord doesn't. why or how can I say that, its evident, there is nothing documented (meaning the Bible) that shows He does.

if the Lord God doesn't want you do something, its pretty much covered in scripture, and there's plenty of church people to point it out for you. and church people's, and priest's opinions don't count.
 
  • Like
Reactions: LC627

Brother James

Active Member
Jun 2, 2008
270
56
28
68
Melbourne, FL
It bothers me to hear people make up sins that are not in scripture. The make inferences from things that are actually in the bible to make arguments to bind people in much the same way the Pharisees did - a group Jesus denounced more than any other. For example, if masturbation is truly a sin would scripture not clearly tell us this? Why would we have to make some rationalization about why it "must be" a sin, when it is an almost universal experience for every teen boy and almost as universal among girls. Surely God would tell us plainly if something is the terrible sin others claim it to be.

I feel the same about sexual practices between spouses. The word "sodomy" comes from the biblical story of Sodom and Gomorrah. Usage in English might have changed over time to mean any oral or anal intercourse, but in Sodom it was very specifically relating to homosexual practices. Using logic to make it apply to anything but missionary sex is very Pharisee-ish in my opinion.
 

Renniks

Well-Known Member
Feb 3, 2020
4,308
1,392
113
56
Pennsylvania
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
Renniks, maybe I misunderstood, but most people who read the words "oral sex" will associate that with more than just kissing a woman's breasts (I am referring to your Post #22). You do understand, oral sex is included under the all-encompassing term sodomy, yes?

Sodomy - Wikipedia
Well, that's not my definition of sodomy, nor the Biblical one, which had to do with males raping males.. but more to the point, where is oral sex prohibited within marriage? Where does it say in the Bible that kissing is only allowed in certain areas of the body?

I know Augustine and others would have shied away from the obvious meaning of verses like this:
15You are a garden spring, a well of flowing water streaming down from Lebanon. 16Awake, O north wind, and come, O south wind. Breathe on my garden and spread the fragrance of its spices. Let my beloved come into his garden and taste its choicest fruits..

but it seems pretty obvious to me that this is... shall we shall exploratory use of the oral facilities.
 

Hidden In Him

Well-Known Member
May 10, 2018
10,600
10,883
113
59
Lafayette, LA
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
It bothers me to hear people make up sins that are not in scripture. The make inferences from things that are actually in the bible to make arguments to bind people in much the same way the Pharisees did - a group Jesus denounced more than any other. For example, if masturbation is truly a sin would scripture not clearly tell us this? Why would we have to make some rationalization about why it "must be" a sin, when it is an almost universal experience for every teen boy and almost as universal among girls. Surely God would tell us plainly if something is the terrible sin others claim it to be.

I feel the same about sexual practices between spouses. The word "sodomy" comes from the biblical story of Sodom and Gomorrah. Usage in English might have changed over time to mean any oral or anal intercourse, but in Sodom it was very specifically relating to homosexual practices. Using logic to make it apply to anything but missionary sex is very Pharisee-ish in my opinion.
Well, that's not my definition of sodomy, nor the Biblical one, which had to do with males raping males.. but more to the point, where is oral sex prohibited within marriage? Where does it say in the Bible that kissing is only allowed in certain areas of the body?

I know Augustine and others would have shied away from the obvious meaning of verses like this:
15You are a garden spring, a well of flowing water streaming down from Lebanon. 16Awake, O north wind, and come, O south wind. Breathe on my garden and spread the fragrance of its spices. Let my beloved come into his garden and taste its choicest fruits..

but it seems pretty obvious to me that this is... shall we shall exploratory use of the oral facilities.

Gentlemen, I can comment on all of this, but examine a few passages with me first, and tell me where you think the focus is:

1 Furthermore then we beseech you, brethren, and exhort you by the Lord Jesus, that as ye have received of us how ye ought to walk and to please God, so ye would abound more and more. 2 For ye know what commandments we gave you by the Lord Jesus. 3 For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from sexual immorality: 4 That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honor; 5 Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God: 6 That no man go beyond and defraud his brother in any matter: because that the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also have forewarned you and testified. 7 For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness.

25 Now concerning virgins I have no commandment of the Lord: yet I give my judgment, as one that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful. 26 I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be. 27 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife. 28 But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you. 29 But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remains that both they that have wives be as though they had none; 30 And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not; 31 And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away.

5 Now she that is a widow indeed, and desolate, trusts in God, and continues in supplications and prayers night and day. 6 But she that lives in pleasure is dead while she liveth. 7 And these things give in charge, that they may be blameless. 8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. 9 Let not a widow be taken into the number under threescore years old, having been the wife of one man. 10 Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints' feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work. 11 But the younger widows refuse: for when they have begun to wax wanton against Christ, they will marry; 2 Having damnation, because they have cast off their first faith.
 

Renniks

Well-Known Member
Feb 3, 2020
4,308
1,392
113
56
Pennsylvania
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
Gentlemen, I can comment on all of this, but examine a few passages with me first, and tell me where you think the focus is:

1 Furthermore then we beseech you, brethren, and exhort you by the Lord Jesus, that as ye have received of us how ye ought to walk and to please God, so ye would abound more and more. 2 For ye know what commandments we gave you by the Lord Jesus. 3 For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from sexual immorality: 4 That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honor; 5 Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God: 6 That no man go beyond and defraud his brother in any matter: because that the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also have forewarned you and testified. 7 For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness.

25 Now concerning virgins I have no commandment of the Lord: yet I give my judgment, as one that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful. 26 I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be. 27 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife. 28 But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you. 29 But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remains that both they that have wives be as though they had none; 30 And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not; 31 And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away.

5 Now she that is a widow indeed, and desolate, trusts in God, and continues in supplications and prayers night and day. 6 But she that lives in pleasure is dead while she liveth. 7 And these things give in charge, that they may be blameless. 8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. 9 Let not a widow be taken into the number under threescore years old, having been the wife of one man. 10 Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints' feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work. 11 But the younger widows refuse: for when they have begun to wax wanton against Christ, they will marry; 2 Having damnation, because they have cast off their first faith.

The focus is abstaining from giving into lust and having self-control. ( Concupiscence in the Bible always refers to passionate desire for something that God has forbidden.) What I find interesting here is that in secular society, our hormones are so often spoken of as being something we have no control over. I have not found this to be the case. It may be true that we can't stop initial desire (an attractive woman walks by and we notice and react internally) but we can certainly choose to change our focus and not dwell on it. And long ago, when I was dating my wife, I found that I could stop and step back and say "Goodnight" and abstain from doing something I would regret doing before marriage, no matter how much desire I might have been feeling. It's a myth that we have to let hormones control us.

In about every film that is rated PG 13, or lower, they seem to have people ripping each other's clothes off as if they have no self-control. Please. That's not even really making love, it's just having sex. And that should be the difference between the world's understanding of sexuality and ours.

We should understand that this is about more than physical actions and lust. In fact, I bet if you could privately and anonymously ask a lot of Christian women about such things as satisfaction in the marriage bed, I think you would find that those with the "slow hand" husbands, the ones that took the time to do more than that missionary position, slam-bam, thank you, ma'am, would give a much higher satisfaction "rating" to their spouse's lovemaking.

So I say that the man who learns to take the time to slow down is more holy than the one who doesn't. And we see this playful, prolonged lovemaking in the Song of Solomon. The oral thing, whether kissing on the mouth or elsewhere is part of the warm-up stage making love. I really can't see what difference it makes if the kissing is here or there. Maybe some man here needs to hear this. If your wife is not interested, maybe it's because you just need to slow down and take your time. Of course, with anything, both of you have to agree on whatever happens.
 

Hidden In Him

Well-Known Member
May 10, 2018
10,600
10,883
113
59
Lafayette, LA
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
The focus is abstaining from giving into lust and having self-control. ( Concupiscence in the Bible always refers to passionate desire for something that God has forbidden.) What I find interesting here is that in secular society, our hormones are so often spoken of as being something we have no control over. I have not found this to be the case. It may be true that we can't stop initial desire (an attractive woman walks by and we notice and react internally) but we can certainly choose to change our focus and not dwell on it. And long ago, when I was dating my wife, I found that I could stop and step back and say "Goodnight" and abstain from doing something I would regret doing before marriage, no matter how much desire I might have been feeling. It's a myth that we have to let hormones control us.

In about every film that is rated PG 13, or lower, they seem to have people ripping each other's clothes off as if they have no self-control. Please. That's not even really making love, it's just having sex. And that should be the difference between the world's understanding of sexuality and ours.

Absolutely. And we are in full agreement here.

But now, let me add something to it. The first passage largely applies to what you are saying here, but the latter two deal with something else secular society almost cannot comprehend, and that is that sex is not the premier focus of a person's life. For the Christian, it is in fact far secondary to fulfilling the will of God, and to many other things. See, in my view (despite LOVING sex), pursuing pleasure must take a backseat to holiness. This is what colors my view on sexuality. I am by no means a prude - I'm actually pretty much the opposite - but I am a firm believer in the crucifixion of the flesh and the mortification of our bodily members upon the earth (Colossians 3:5). In my theology, this involves fasting the flesh down. As Derek Prince once said, "We revoke the natural to invoke the supernatural," or in other words, the Power of God descends upon us in increasing degrees when we bring our flesh under subjection through fasting. And one consequence of fasting is that the sex drive starts to diminish after a certain amount of time. The passions and desires for affection can remain with the right person, but without the flesh driving things, it takes on a more pure form that is much more pliable to the will of God, and avoids anything resembling or that might be labeled "uncleanness" much easier. Through the experiences of my life and through fasting on numerous occasions, I have come to make clearer distinctions between what desires are coming from the Spirit and what desires are being generated primarily by the flesh.

As for kissing over all areas of the body, I would say we are also in full agreement, with the caveat that kissing her "there" could lend itself to staying a little longer than one should. But I suppose for me, the desire is to continually reach a woman's heart through her eyes and by making "contact" face to face. I don't want to be too far out of range not to be able to do so, if you know what I mean. Seems to turn "making love" to a woman into just... having sex.
 
Last edited:

LC627

Well-Known Member
May 11, 2018
742
658
93
USA
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
So I say that the man who learns to take the time to slow down is more holy than the one who doesn't. And we see this playful, prolonged lovemaking in the Song of Solomon. The oral thing, whether kissing on the mouth or elsewhere is part of the warm-up stage making love. I really can't see what difference it makes if the kissing is here or there. Maybe some man here needs to hear this. If your wife is not interested, maybe it's because you just need to slow down and take your time. Of course, with anything, both of you have to agree on whatever happens.[/QUOTE]

This is very true.

Also, Husbands: intimacy starts outside of the bedroom. Have you been connecting with your wife on an emotional level? Have you shown her the respect she deserves? Have you held her during the day or told her all the ways you appreciate and love her? Or do you sit around and do your own thing all day and then when it's bed time expect sex? There is a connection that is there before the two physically connect in bed. At times, oral can be more intimate than actual love making and brings a closer connection with your partner. It's a part of the couple's intimacy and closeness. But, with each couple comes personal convictions and if a couple believes it's wrong then don't go against your conscience.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Renniks

bbyrd009

Groper
Nov 30, 2016
33,943
12,081
113
Ute City, COLO
www.facebook.com
Faith
Christian
Country
United States Minor Outlying Islands
UNDERSTAND WHY THE PIMPS AND HOS ARE BEATING YOU INTO THE KINGDOM
i mean or dont, whatevs ok. Yall about in agreement on your new laws or what lol
but in Sodom it was very specifically relating to homosexual practices.
wouldnt be writing that in stone just yet either :)
homosexuality was not listed among the sins of Sodom, after all

ntmy, mark
 
Last edited:

LC627

Well-Known Member
May 11, 2018
742
658
93
USA
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
Absolutely. And we are in full agreement here.

But now, let me add something to it here. The first passage largely applies to what you are saying here, but the latter two deal with something else secular society almost cannot comprehend, and that is that sex is not the premier focus of a person's life. For the Christian, it is in fact far secondary to fulfilling the will of God, and to many other things. See, in my view (despite LOVING sex), pursuing pleasure must take a backseat to holiness. This is what colors my view on sexuality. I am by no means a prude - I'm actually pretty much the opposite - but I am a firm believer in the crucifixion of the flesh and the mortification of our bodily members upon the earth (Colossians 3:5). In my theology, this involves fasting the flesh down. As Derek Prince once said, "We revoke the natural to invoke the supernatural," or in other words, the Power of God descends upon us in increasing degrees when we bring our flesh under subjection through fasting. And one consequence of fasting is that the sex drive starts to diminish after a certain amount of time. The passions and desires for affection can remain with the right person, but without the flesh driving things, it takes on a more pure form that is much more pliable to the will of God, and avoids anything resembling or that might be labeled "uncleanness" much easier. Through the experiences of my life and through fasting on numerous occasions, I have come to make clearer distinctions between what desires are coming from the Spirit and what desires are being generated primarily by the flesh.

As for kissing over all areas of the body, I would say we are also in full agreement, with the caveat that kissing her "there" could lend itself to staying a little longer than one should. But I suppose for me, the desire is to continually reach a woman's heart through her eyes and by making "contact" face to face. I don't want to be too far out of range not to be able to do so, if you know what I mean. Seems to turn "making love" to woman into just... having sex.

Is having a sexual attraction to your wife a desire of the flesh or a natural passion?
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: bbyrd009

bbyrd009

Groper
Nov 30, 2016
33,943
12,081
113
Ute City, COLO
www.facebook.com
Faith
Christian
Country
United States Minor Outlying Islands
i mean clean the outside of that cup as hard as you can if you want, ok
if your prophets have gone a'whoring it wont matter anyway i guess
hmm, how to find out if your prophets have gone a whoring, hmm...
So, what do u think? Where do u draw the line? Where do u think God draws the line?
dont judge, or you will be judged
 
Last edited:

Hidden In Him

Well-Known Member
May 10, 2018
10,600
10,883
113
59
Lafayette, LA
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
Is having a sexual attraction to your wife a desire of the flesh or a natural passion? If it's sexual then I'm picking up from your post that anything like that must be crucified since it's fleshly.

I would classify sexual attraction (if by this you mean physical attraction) as a natural passion. Purely "fleshly" or carnal passion, however, would be pursuing physical/sexual attraction with no regard for love.

I have to admit, however, that I may not be fully understanding the question, so you may want to reword it for me if I'm not getting the point.
 

LC627

Well-Known Member
May 11, 2018
742
658
93
USA
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
I would classify sexual attraction (if by this you mean physical attraction) as a natural passion. Purely fleshly passion, however, would be pursuing physical and sexual attraction with no regard for love.

I have to admit, I may not be fully understanding the question, so you may want to reword it for me if I'm not getting the point.

I'm just trying to say that the sexual desire / passion the married couple has towards one another is natural. It's not wrong or "fleshly", it's a commitment rooted in intimacy, trust, and connection.

Each couple must decide and pray what is acceptable for them. The married couple doesn't need to be lectured by folks in the Church on what is done in their bedroom between just the two of them. To be honest, most couples that limit themselves in the marriage bed are probably not satisfied overall because we all have sexual desires.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Renniks

Hidden In Him

Well-Known Member
May 10, 2018
10,600
10,883
113
59
Lafayette, LA
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
I'm just trying to say that the sexual desire / passion the married couple has towards one another is natural. It's not wrong or "fleshly", it's a commitment rooted in intimacy, trust, and connection.

Absolutely.
Each couple must decide and pray what is acceptable for them. The married couple doesn't need to be lectured by folks in the Church on what is done in their bedroom between just the two of them. To be honest, most couples that limit themselves in the marriage bed are probably not satisfied overall because we all have sexual desires.

Now this brings up an interesting point, and don't be offended by my saying this, but the problem here is that our psycho-sexual desires and need to fulfill them can really run amok into all sorts of perversions if we are not careful. There's an old Journey song called "Anyway You Want It," and in a way it is true that you manifest a type of love for someone when you allow them to pursue sexual fantasies that can especially turn them on, i.e. on a psychological level. But that can REALLY open up a Pandora's Box.

I think the answer is renewing our minds to the will of God, so that those inner psychological desires change to conform themselves to His will. Two young Christians coming out of the world, and out of lives of sin and perversion, may fulfill each others inner passions out of love for one another but end up running the marriage right into the moral gutter in the process.
 

LC627

Well-Known Member
May 11, 2018
742
658
93
USA
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
Absolutely.


Now this brings up an interesting point, and don't be offended by my saying this, but the problem here is that our psycho-sexual desires and need to fulfill them can really run amok into all sorts of perversions if we are not careful. There's an old Journey song called "Anyway You Want It," and in a way it is true that you manifest a type of love for someone when you allow them to pursue sexual fantasies that can especially turn them on, i.e. on a psychological level. But that can REALLY open up a Pandora's Box.

I think the answer is renewing our minds to the will of God, so that those inner psychological desires change to conform themselves to His will. Two young Christians coming out of the world, and out of lives of sin and perversion, may fulfill each others inner passions out of love for one another but end up running the marriage right into the moral gutter in the process.

We're not talking about "anyway you want it" there are necessary limits and boundaries that couples need to avoid that are not healthy. A person can give / receive oral sex in their marriage without it leading to "Opening Pandora's Box" .

Many, not all, but many Christians view some sexual activities as they would a "gateway drug". Oh, once you do oral you better watch out because now you'll end up in a moral gutter. That is not the case for the vast majority of Christ honoring couples. Can it open up something for some? Yes, anything can though, not just sex. That is why each couple needs to know what is right for them and follow that. Christians need to understand that sex in marriage is a beautiful gift and not shy away from it in shame denying they have any sexual desires at all.

Can a wife wear lingerie?...Of course not! That would not be modest and would lead her down the path of pole dancing! (clearly being sarcastic). The opening of Pandora's Box example is not a rational one.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Renniks

Hidden In Him

Well-Known Member
May 10, 2018
10,600
10,883
113
59
Lafayette, LA
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
We're not talking about "anyway you want it" there are necessary limits and boundaries that couples need to avoid that are not healthy. A person can give / receive oral sex in their marriage without it leading to "Opening Pandora's Box" .

Many, not all, but many Christians view some sexual activities as they would a "gateway drug". Oh, once you do oral you better watch out because now you'll end up in a moral gutter. That is not the case for the vast majority of Christ honoring couples. Can it open up something for some? Yes, anything can though, not just sex. That is why each couple needs to know what is right for them and follow that. Christians need to understand that sex in marriage is a beautiful gift and not shy away from it in shame denying they have any sexual desires at all.

I think by this I am starting to understand your viewpoint a little better. So let me say this: I am not in favor of repressed sexuality. I would consider that to be extremely unhealthy. Better to completely run amok for awhile, before reining it in under the Lordship of Jesus Christ a bit more. I think perspective and experience likely play strong roles in determining one's views on this subject, the more I think about it. When you've been knee deep in the gutter (or worse), being "clean as a whistle" sounds almost refreshing in a way. But to those who've not yet wallowed in the filth, a little mud wrestling sounds kinda fun, LoL.
Can a wife wear lingerie?...Of course not! That would not be modest and would lead her down the path of pole dancing! (clearly being sarcastic).

A Ha Ha! Did you see that King Of Queens episode where he talks her into pole dancing as a turn on, but she ends up being so bad at it that he has to show her how it's done. What a man, LoL.


431ab20cfe26f4bbdcb39cb2cb5ebf1e.jpg
 
  • Like
Reactions: bbyrd009 and LC627
Status
Not open for further replies.