A Funny Thing Happened in Church.

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Berserk

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I'm in a rather impious and squirmy mood, and so, I thought I'd change pace and share some of the funniest things that happened in my churches. I often read critics` movie reviews and one of these critics was reviewing crude old sci-fi movies from the 1950s and early 1960s. Pointing to their clunky special effects, tin-can alien costumes, and metallic dialogue, he wryly observed, "Some of these movies are so bad they're good." Of course, he meant that they work well as comedy. I would apply that to church services by saying, "Sometimes things go so wrong that they go so right!" Here is the first of several memorable examples from my own church experience:

(1) I attended Calvary Temple in Winnipeg for my first 21 years. John the Baptist was the theme of our pastor's most memorable service. I now recall just this detail of his sermon: he declared, "Then Jordan baptized Jesus in the John." Then he went on, not realizing what he had just said. I was shocked and amused and looked around that large church to measure congregational reaction. They all just sat there, stone-faced! To this young boy, their failure to react at all was even more hilarious then the blooper. I thought, isn't anyone listening to what the pastor is saying?

Please feel free to share your own funny church stories.
 

Heart2Soul

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I'm in a rather impious and squirmy mood, and so, I thought I'd change pace and share some of the funniest things that happened in my churches. I often read critics` movie reviews and one of these critics was reviewing crude old sci-fi movies from the 1950s and early 1960s. Pointing to their clunky special effects, tin-can alien costumes, and metallic dialogue, he wryly observed, "Some of these movies are so bad they're good." Of course, he meant that they work well as comedy. I would apply that to church services by saying, "Sometimes things go so wrong that they go so right!" Here is the first of several memorable examples from my own church experience:

(1) I attended Calvary Temple in Winnipeg for my first 21 years. John the Baptist was the theme of our pastor's most memorable service. I now recall just this detail of his sermon: he declared, "Then Jordan baptized Jesus in the John." Then he went on, not realizing what he had just said. I was shocked and amused and looked around that large church to measure congregational reaction. They all just sat there, stone-faced! To this young boy, their failure to react at all was even more hilarious then the blooper. I thought, isn't anyone listening to what the pastor is saying?

Please feel free to share your own funny church stories.
Did you ever say anything to the pastor?
That is funny...maybe he did it on purpose to see who was paying attention.
 
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Sabertooth

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I now recall just this detail of his sermon: he declared, "Then Jordan baptized Jesus in the John."
That is not too different from a "spoonerism." (W.A. Spooner was a minister, too.
full
;))
 
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marksman

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John the Baptist was the theme of our pastor's most memorable service. I now recall just this detail of his sermon: he declared, "Then Jordan baptized Jesus in the John." Then he went on, not realizing what he had just said.

Please feel free to share your own funny church stories.

I nearly fell over with laughter when I read this. Imagine Jesus being baptized in the toilet (john). Obviously he wanted to get a head start on everything.
 
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Berserk

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Did you ever say anything to the pastor?
That is funny...maybe he did it on purpose to see who was paying attention.

(2) No, Pastor Barber was a very good preacher, but he had absolutely no sense of humor. About a year later he was preaching on David's relationship with King Saul and made another blooper, again the only thing I recall from the sermon. At one point he said, "And there David stood in the gates of the sanctuary, breathless and pantless." By then I was about 13 and I quietly giggled. Again, the large congregation just sat there, stone-faced....until a man about 30 rows up turned around and stared at the congregation with a wicked smirk on his face. Relieved, I realized that this time at least one other member was listening carefully! I recall no other bloopers after that one.
 

Debp

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I'm glad you mentioned we can all share some funny stories!

At church some of the elderly ladies were responsible for mailing birthday cards to the members. Well, one year my mother got a sympathy card on her birthday! I guess an elderly lady just looked at the flowers on the front of the card, and didn't read the message!

To make it even funnier, my mom ran into a deacon on his way to a church meeting. My mom told him to tell them not to send sympathy cards to people on their birthdays! He went off chuckling, and I guess he told the pastor.... because the pastor later sent my mom a special card!
 

farouk

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I'm glad you mentioned we can all share some funny stories!

At church some of the elderly ladies were responsible for mailing birthday cards to the members. Well, one year my mother got a sympathy card on her birthday! I guess an elderly lady just looked at the flowers on the front of the card, and didn't read the message!

To make it even funnier, my mom ran into a deacon on his way to a church meeting. My mom told him to tell them not to send sympathy cards to people on their birthdays! He went off chuckling, and I guess he told the pastor.... because the pastor later sent my mom a special card!
@Debp Sorry about your mom's experience...I suppose the lady responsible had eyes which are no more clear than mine are.... (My wife's sight is better than mine, while my hearing is better than hers...)
 
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Angelina

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I'm not sure how many services I have been to where the minister has done a blooper on the word "masticate".

It should be forbidden in a service and replaced with" grinding ones food with their teeth"
blushing-smiley.gif
 
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Berserk

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(3) Aurilla was in charge of buying and preparing the bread and grape juice for Holy Communion in the first church I pastored. She had to buy these Communion elements in the only grocery store in that little village. But she procrastinated too long and the store was out of grape juice. So she bought prune juice instead and poured it into all the little Communion glasses! The problem was that she didn't tell anyone that she did this. So imagine the consternation of that congregation when they were expecting the taste of grape and got prune instead! The taste of prunes kinda undermines reflection on the blood of Jesus! Later, a naive Aurilla would ask, "But does it really matter?" Sigh!

(4) That church had no air conditioning. So one hot August Sunday we had to leave the front door open and set up a huge fan in front of it for ventilation. Well, in the middle of the service a stray black cat wandered in and trotted down the central aisle to see what was happening. The cat got the tip of his tail caught in the fan! He miowed loudly and leapt in the air down the aisle, waking up all the whole congregation!