So the short story is. My wife wanted a divorce. I did not. Eventually I signed the paper because I didn't want to make it harder for everyone. But I did not divorce her in my heart. Are we still married in God's eyes? Please help!
Am I divorced?
- Thread starter Jon
- Start date
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historyb
Well-Known Member
You should really talk to you Pastor or Priest. If you signed papers you are divorced in the eyes of the government
I am so sorry to hear of your situation. I'll start by saying I'm not 100% sure on the subject. As I have understood scripture, marriage is a covenant between man and God. Yes - we can have ceremonies, and sign paper so it's legal in the eyes of our governments - but even all this still falls in with the covenant as the marriage is witnessed - and all the extra 'legal' stuff that goes with it is just part of that witness of the commitment between two people.
Using that same logic - you have signed a piece of paper, and I would imagine in the presence of witnesses. As a result 'legal' or not - you have made an agreement before man/witnesses that is also observed by God for that divorce. So regardless of the legal implications - the divorce was witnessed as well.
Our spiritual life isn't just about what happens internally - it's external as well as witnessed by others. None can say that they deny Christ externally but 'secretly' confess Him in their heart. I don't see why the same principle wouldn't apply here.
Using that same logic - you have signed a piece of paper, and I would imagine in the presence of witnesses. As a result 'legal' or not - you have made an agreement before man/witnesses that is also observed by God for that divorce. So regardless of the legal implications - the divorce was witnessed as well.
Our spiritual life isn't just about what happens internally - it's external as well as witnessed by others. None can say that they deny Christ externally but 'secretly' confess Him in their heart. I don't see why the same principle wouldn't apply here.
Hi, Jon. Welcome to Christianity Board. I feel you, man. I went through the same thing. Scripture says that when a man and a woman become a couple, they become one flesh. In my mind, this means one soul.
When she divorced me, my body wasn't the source of my pain, it was my heart that hurt. I felt like we were ripped apart, quite literally. I'm a sensitive person so I hurt more than some, I guess.
I think God's main concern about divorce (besides children) is the damage this does to one's inner being. Many animals in the wild mate for life. I believe this is how God created us to be, too.
By the time a divorce happens, one is usually pretty beat up which just adds to the grief. I cried out to God constantly and He met me. His way of helping me was to take me on a journey of healing and freedom from myself.
I won't lie, it's been a long, hard, road but He has been faithful and has got me to a place where He is everything to me, and no matter what else happens, I have Him and all that divorce pain is gone.
I'm getting on in age and I've got twinges in my hinges, but I have the peace and joy of God in me as I've never had.
God isn't up there aiming a lightning bolt at your head. He is very concerned about your suffering and is close to you. Remember, He will never leave you nor forsake you. A broken heart and a contrite spirit He has yet to deny. You are His child and nothing will ever change that.
Bless you, Jon, and I hope and pray that your journey here will be one of healing and discovery of deeper intimacy with your loving Father. Happy Thanksgiving, Ron.
My ex husband wanted to remarry, he was engaged before we had even discussed divorce 3months after I asked him to leave ( he was already in a relationship with her ). I divorced him because he had no grounds to divorce me. As far as I am concerned I was divorced when the papers came through. However I never had any other relationships and he remained my only partner.
I believe there are different views with Christians, I was told by someone here that I was still married in Gods eyes and that I would only be released if my ex passed away. ( sadly he died from cancer last year )
I see myself as divorced before God, however others may have other views xx
Rita
I believe there are different views with Christians, I was told by someone here that I was still married in Gods eyes and that I would only be released if my ex passed away. ( sadly he died from cancer last year )
I see myself as divorced before God, however others may have other views xx
Rita
I am very sorry to hear about this.
But you are not married, especially because the feeling is not mutual. Married in God's eyes is becoming one with your spouse, legally bound or not. For, even not all governmental ratified marriages, I would imagine, are acceptable in God's eyes. I don't believe that you two are one, anymore (if you were at all).
Genesis 2:22-24
2:22. The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. 23. The man said, "This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man." 24. For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.
Yes you cannot divorce someone with a legal system. It is a religious principle till death do you part. But if you or she has sexual relations with another then yes, your divorced.
Matthew 5:32
"But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery."
The best revenge for a divorce is living well.
Get a full measure of it on this one.
Get a full measure of it on this one.
GRACE ambassador
Well-Known Member
Precious divorced friends, It Is A GOOD life being In God's Dispensation Of
PURE GRACE, and, good that "divorce Is NOT The UNpardonable sin," eh?
He Forgave ALL our sins, and Now we Can "Access HIS GRACE"
(Romans 5:2), and move along (35 years for me!) with our "living/walking
In Fellowship WITH Him!" (1 Corinthians 1:9). Amen?:
GRACE Word for infirmities
PURE GRACE, and, good that "divorce Is NOT The UNpardonable sin," eh?
He Forgave ALL our sins, and Now we Can "Access HIS GRACE"
(Romans 5:2), and move along (35 years for me!) with our "living/walking
In Fellowship WITH Him!" (1 Corinthians 1:9). Amen?:
GRACE Word for infirmities
Truth7t7
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Romans 7:1-3KJV
1 Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law,) how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth?
2 For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.
3 So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.
Mark 10:2-12KJV
2 And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him.
3 And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you?
4 And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away.
5 And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.
6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.
7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;
8 And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.
9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
10 And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter.
11 And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.
12 And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.
Hi Jon. Welcome to the forum.
And sorry for your dilemma.
Are you divorced? Short answer yes.
Bigger Picture.
It is obvious, your marriage breakup was not your idea or your desire to pursue.
We are human, with human shortcomings and faults. Not a big secret to God. After all, we are expressly told...ONLY God "knows" ALL things.
Point being...we can NOT know what "every" decision we make one day, WILL BE the best decision "until" long after the decision IS MADE.
So...then WHY does Scripture teach, FOR men and women TO 'MAKE' a promise of "marriage", TO one other, and NEVER leave them....dispite the rough bumps, different ideas, thoughts, actions of two differnt people?
In the BIGGER PICTURE...
A biblical picture of a marriage between a man and a woman...IS about ...LONG before the marriage...to have SAME FOUNDATION in "Godly" Beliefs...
....
THAT ^, could mean....oh, ya, ya...we both believe In the Lord Gods Almighty....We're good to go.
....
Or THAT ^, could mean...we both "understand"...the WORD of God, is Always the "mediator", in any Differences the man and woman encounters.
REALITY IS: in my observances, is men and women "decide" to marry..."without an agreement"...the Word of God WILL BE their "mediator" in conflicts and disputes.
- people tend to marry for all kinds of reasons....
* security, outside appearence, like the same activities, have similar goals, held up on a pedestal despite their underhanded behavior toward the other, gain of reflective clout per the others fame or position, don't like their parents house rules, oops got pregnant, on and on to very shallow, being seen with someone popular, like their car, wealth, etc.
REALITY IS: a marriage between a man and a woman, IS difficult, requires learning HOW to be on the SAME page, Compromises, forgivenesses, sharing, overloading, exhausting, disappointing, joyful....
SO what IS THE Scriptural POINT of men and women marrying?
* PRACTICE * PREPARATION *
For What?
An EXCLUSIVE, "one on one" Relationship WITH the Lord God....whereby ...
* ONCE "heartfully Committed" TO the Lord God...there IS no possibility OF "divorce"... ie Leaving Him, Being with-OUT Him, or Him Leaving You or ever Being with-OUT You.
* IOW...being Joined together forever "WITH" God, IS: not about "OUR" ability to "KEEP" our relationship "WITH" God...
* IT IS, about US freely choosing, TO agree, that God WILL "keep" our relationship "WITH" Him, exclusively by our Freewill Choosing, "to Agree to Him USING HIS POWER, "TO" keep us, unto HIM ONLY. (Which we accomplish Making our choice known to Him, BY submitting to His Offered Conversion).
POINT BEING...an individual IS KEPT IN the relationship WITH GOD....BY HIS POWER.
A marriage between a man and a women...
IN many marriages, IS trying to KEEP their marriage intact, "BY the power OF the man and the woman."
You appear to have had the "stronger" sense of power and desire to have KEPT your marriage intact.
It appears your wife, was weaker, or perhaps did not know "how to" reconcile, resolve issues, or want to, according to Christ's Way of "mediation".
Perhaps, you did not make such a suggestion, I can not know.
A marriage between a man and a woman IS for practicing and preparation of A lasting relationship with God....which IS exclusively BASED ON....Neither the person or God...CAN or WILL leave the other.
(It's a Commitment Neither you or God WILL break).
* Your delimma, that appears to weigh heavy on you...IS...HOW your wifes divorce from you, will Affect YOUR relationship with God, or in Gods Eyes.
* First of all...one instigating a "secular" divorce, "filing, pleading, granting" etc. IS a secular protocal.
* Scripturally, a bill of divorcement, was basically a letter, writ, notifying a one, the other had dissolved their relationship. And in Jewish customs, a bill of divorcement was served to break off a Promise to Wed.
* In Jewish law...once a Promise TO Wed was made (ie an engagement), the couple was "consider" married, unavailable to any other, unless that promise "TO WED" was dissolve.
* In Scripture, you do not find, WEDDED couples "divorcing". What you will find IS, for example, a man becoming wedded to more than one wife.
* You will also find in Scripture, men believing, (throughout their lives) in MORE that one god.
* I would say, the BIG PICTURE of your relationship WITH God, is NOT affected by a relationship with a spouse, that freely chose to "leave you".
* So ARE, you still "wedded" to your "wife"?
No.
* Could you, or Can you...MAKE, FORCE, your wife, believe what you WANT? (Even God does not do that.)
* Will you be "wedded" to your wife, IN Gods Kingdom? No.
* Your marriage, was "secularly" acknowledge, and was "secularly" dissolved.
* I would suggest you Focus on the BIG PICTURE...being your one on one relationship WITH the Lord God....
* Keep your love toward all, (friend and foe/ in agreement out of agreement) as is Gods perceptual teachings...
* Pray for the Lords "mediation"/ intervention; in His ability to put before you another, WHOSE, understanding IS, Christ's Way is the Way, for establishing relationships, and Christ IS the household Mediator between a husband and wife...
* two having ^ that agreement, removes the animosity and of 'I'm right, you're wrong"...my way, my way, my way...or bye bye.
* You are secularly divorced, securlarly free to pursue another, if you desire.
* Scripturally you can not be bonded to one who freely broke the bond.
God Bless,
Taken
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