To be honest with you, your perspective changes naturally throughout life.
Here is a link that can explain it in simple terms...
The 5 Stages of Love: Why Too Many Stop at Stage 3
Need some help changing my perspective on men.
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Here is a link that can explain it in simple terms...
The 5 Stages of Love: Why Too Many Stop at Stage 3
Why would you say that? Why not say "Look for a man but know what to look for"?
This is not exactly rocket science: (1) Firstly know yourself, (2) know what God expects in a man, and (3) look for a man that fits into that expectation. There is more than enough in the Bible for you to make a checklist.
Men are enemy #1 to the Satanists controlling the world.
Christian, White, Heterosexual are at the top of the list, so yeah... we are a bit on edge right now.
Over thirty years ago my husband was going though a bad patch and felt financially pressured and go into a rage like a light being switched on. One day he pushed me into a filled bath fully clothed and tried to hold me under. I have to say it was a bit halfhearted but I left with my son as was taken in by Christian strangers from another church and he didn't know where I was.Men are enemy #1 to the Satanists controlling the world.
Christian, White, Heterosexual are at the top of the list, so yeah... we are a bit on edge right now.
Some of the men from our own church tried to talk to him and even brought in a pastor from the church my rescuers belonged to. Anyway after two weeks he was still spitting tacks but was dragged to the church meeting where I was with my new friends.
A word from the front said that they could feel somebody's pain and invited the person who was hurting to come to the front for prayer. My husband sat on his hands and refused to move (we were sitting in different parts of the room). But when the Holy Spirit wants you you don't have a choice. So he found himself reluctantly and very slowly walking to the front.
The men spoke to him and prayed for him and he wept buckets for a full twenty minutes. Since then he has been the lovely man I married fifty years ago.
i know that and please don't think i am being a "man-hater." I am not. I am a complimentarian.(sp?) its just a long history of abuse and i WANT to see things differently. i had a couple relationships with other Christians. one involved verbal and emotional abuse, one was a 27yo pastor and i was 15-but that was for like a day, one of my exboyfriends came back a youth pastor a couple years ago but married and still tried - obviously i blocked him and ran. it just makes you lose hope in what should be good. i really don't want to feel that wayMen are enemy #1 to the Satanists controlling the world.
Christian, White, Heterosexual are at the top of the list, so yeah... we are a bit on edge right now.
Mosheli
Active Member
Some people have given some good advice. I not a counellor/pyschologist or even a very great christian and I don't know the answer and only offer my 2 cents worth.
I agree with seeking & having faith in God/Jesus first, and he will heal your fear(s) from past experiences and will findsomeone if that is your heart's desire, though I know it is not easy.
I can understand being worried about growing older and being alone. I am in 40s and always been single and its hard for me to believe God will ever find me someone now, not only because of my age but also because I don't have a job and am in a small country & small "city", etc. (And it seems harder for some men to find someone than it is for women. Alot of women on one hand seem to want someone perfect.)
Why are they angry? What do you mean by "angry"/"anger issues" and dangerous, do you mean violent? (The bible says "be angry and sin not".)
I find it hard to believe that all older men are angry and dangerous, and would turn on you and constantly be angry. There seem to be plenty of good men and marriages out there which don't seem angry/bad (though I don't live with them). And if it was true there would be millions of divorces and men in prison. But some women do seem to have bad luck with men. My mother had bad luck with all 4 husbands.
I guess I myself may be considered to have been or be an angry man at times. But my case is different to most men and is only because I've had and have a rotten hell life. Men are naturally more aggressive/active/physical. And in this bad modern western world regime/system its not surprising some men may be angry. Its not natural to expect humans to be unemotional robots like this regime expects. But the worst I've ever done is make some holes/dents in the wall, and shout. I would never harm/hurt or hit a female or a companion/partner/wife. And if I was ever so lucky for God to find me someone I'd be jolly well grateful and not take her for granted (after having been alone for decades) and try my best to act and treat them right, and always seek to put God/Jesus first. I don't like how most people judge and assume and only see the "negatives" and don't see the positives, and they only blame the indiviudal.
Not everyone who says they are christian are really christian. Christians are not all good and not all perfect. I don't pretend myself to be a very good christian at present.
God should protect you. Plus if you have female friends or family or christian friends you can also get their opinion on the man in addition to your own intuition and experience.
Women often seem to expect men to be mind readers. So maybe pointing out or asking might help. No one knows what we think if we don't say.
A true Christian who has Jesus would "love his wife as Christ loves the church". And "do unto others as would have done to you".
"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear...." 1 John 4:18.
I agree with seeking & having faith in God/Jesus first, and he will heal your fear(s) from past experiences and will findsomeone if that is your heart's desire, though I know it is not easy.
I can understand being worried about growing older and being alone. I am in 40s and always been single and its hard for me to believe God will ever find me someone now, not only because of my age but also because I don't have a job and am in a small country & small "city", etc. (And it seems harder for some men to find someone than it is for women. Alot of women on one hand seem to want someone perfect.)
Why are they angry? What do you mean by "angry"/"anger issues" and dangerous, do you mean violent? (The bible says "be angry and sin not".)
I find it hard to believe that all older men are angry and dangerous, and would turn on you and constantly be angry. There seem to be plenty of good men and marriages out there which don't seem angry/bad (though I don't live with them). And if it was true there would be millions of divorces and men in prison. But some women do seem to have bad luck with men. My mother had bad luck with all 4 husbands.
I guess I myself may be considered to have been or be an angry man at times. But my case is different to most men and is only because I've had and have a rotten hell life. Men are naturally more aggressive/active/physical. And in this bad modern western world regime/system its not surprising some men may be angry. Its not natural to expect humans to be unemotional robots like this regime expects. But the worst I've ever done is make some holes/dents in the wall, and shout. I would never harm/hurt or hit a female or a companion/partner/wife. And if I was ever so lucky for God to find me someone I'd be jolly well grateful and not take her for granted (after having been alone for decades) and try my best to act and treat them right, and always seek to put God/Jesus first. I don't like how most people judge and assume and only see the "negatives" and don't see the positives, and they only blame the indiviudal.
Not everyone who says they are christian are really christian. Christians are not all good and not all perfect. I don't pretend myself to be a very good christian at present.
God should protect you. Plus if you have female friends or family or christian friends you can also get their opinion on the man in addition to your own intuition and experience.
Women often seem to expect men to be mind readers. So maybe pointing out or asking might help. No one knows what we think if we don't say.
A true Christian who has Jesus would "love his wife as Christ loves the church". And "do unto others as would have done to you".
"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear...." 1 John 4:18.
quietthinker
Well-Known Member
Right!...I'll add it to the list.....there was however a doubtful....women don't fart either?Of course, we know that women ARE perfect!
I don't know any perfect women - not even me.
quietthinker
Well-Known Member
I know men who expect their woman to be perfect and I know women who expect their men to be perfect. But great expectations don't mean a thing.
WalterandDebbie
Well-Known Member
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Well, as I have learned to take His yoke upon myself and taken heed of myself would be my first goal.
But in doing so, I have found many areas of my life had to be corrected, one may find fault in doing so, but I have found that doing pleasing in His sight works for me now than ever before.
Once I asked the LORD to help me, but allowing for Him to do just that is another thing, and to continue in His words of life without lust.
But in all, I personally try to do my best in focus with His word as I aught to because you or another person may have a need that might be you can help.
Two can walk together.
Love, Walter
In spite of the past, you should stop thinking of yourself as a victim. If you've learned your lessons, then just move on. But at the same time, kindly examine your own self carefully. Many people do not have the necessary self-awareness that they should.
You really need to stay away from counselling women...
... You just finished telling another there was NO hope for America to move forward... so maybe she should just give up... and get a dog... LOL
@FluffyYellowDuck
But don't count on it. There are some very immature oldsters and on the contrary some very mature youngsters. Learn of God to led by Him. Trust always, God alone!
UnrulyBeauty
Active Member
It's important - crucial, even - to know both ourselves, and what we need and can tolerate in a partner. We have to know our own strengths, weaknesses, virtues, and flaws; what we have to offer someone else, and where we will fall short, and need them to step up. And we need to be brutally honest with what we are not ready to accept or tolerate in someone else. If a bad temper or crabby disposition is something you can't tolerate, you don't need to apologize for that or change that. You need to be watchful and discerning for those traits in potential future partners, and if you see the red flags, you need to be straightforward and forthright, and walk away. Never, ever, ignore the warning signs and press forward with that "Well, with my love and God's help, he can change" mindset. Countless women have done so throughout history, only to wind up frustrated and bitter, when the change didn't come.
There are men out there, who do not have bad tempers, anger issues, or grumpy personalities. They can be hard to find, but they do exist.
UnrulyBeauty
Active Member
This describes me perfectly. I will not live with someone who is angry or harsh or bitter. I simply WILL NOT.
I think it's more important to change your choices, and to understand why you chose the men you did.
Much love!
@UnrulyBeauty My wife is so calm and patient and loves prayer and the Scriptures. I was so blessed to be able to marry her.
I know some ppl who have never married find it hard to make the transition. I was 'late' marring myself (but who is to question the Lord's perfect timing?)
Is that a variant of WASPs?Men are enemy #1 to the Satanists controlling the world.
Christian, White, Heterosexual are at the top of the list, so yeah... we are a bit on edge right now.
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