lilygrace
Well-Known Member
I can imagine a comment like males would enjoy it would make make survivors more uncomfortable coming forward.
Understanding MPD/DID & SRA/MK
- Thread starter TLHKAJ
- Start date
-
Welcome to Christian Forums, a Christian Forum that recognizes that all Christians are a work in progress.
You will need to register to be able to join in fellowship with Christians all over the world.
We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless!
lilygrace
Well-Known Member
Is this handler stuff though?
I doubt you would slap them. Easier said than done.
It may or may not be. It could be just a rude person who has no sense of boundaries.
If this person was a handler, it depends on if I was conscious of their behaviors. Let's say, it's a family member (which I deal with on a regular basis). I have become very bold and straightforward with them. He knows that I'm aware... and he isn't willing to come to freedom.
Sis, it has been 14 yrs for me of actively deprogramming. Sixteen years ago, I wouldn't have considered such a thing. But I have always been vocal when someone is persistently invading my space and being rude. That's just part of my makeup, I think. My sister was more passive, where I'd jump in and fight back. That doesn't make me better. I'm just expressing how I'd feel like reacting and possibly act on it.
Example: When I was 11yrs old in 6th grade, there was this huge guy who was about 14 yrs old. He was a good 10 inches taller and twice my weight. He would see me in the hallway between classes and hit me. And I was a small girl. Well, after a little bit of that, I hauled off and punched him. He never hit me again. LOL
It's just how I'm wired, sis. There's other areas where I could learn to be more assertive. It doesn't make someone faulty who isn't assertive... not by any means.
If it was maybe my father.... no, absolutely not. I don't remember ever physically fighting back other than trying to get away. But he didn't do things like that (putting his face in my food, or touching my head, etc) at other times. Most of the time, things were pretty "normal" in our interactions.
My dad could intimidate me at will. He was a handler and he had absolute control. All he had to do was look at us a certain way,or a hand gesture. We knew what it meant.
When I came to awareness in my 30's, I had already physically distanced from my family. But I lived with a handler still ... my husband.
Just processing this out.... Idk if any of it is helpful.
lilygrace
Well-Known Member
I'm sorry
:'( I didn't mean to be rude.
I guess he's not abusive if i can fight Back. I've tried to hit him before
It doesn't work. I'm told to say nothing cos he does it for a rise. It's not helping either way to be honest. And the phrase just getting a rise out of me is hurtful and just plain invalidating.....
lilygrace
Well-Known Member
Sis, am I missing something? I thought you were asking about someone putting their face down close to your food and touching your head, etc. What did I miss? I was calling that person rude.... not you.I'm sorry
I didn't mean to be rude
lilygrace
Well-Known Member
I was rude to assume you would t slap someone. But i mean i guess it could be easier to slap someone you knew from school for awhile.
It may not be safe to physically fight back. It all depends on your specific circumstance. The best way to fight back if this person is in your home is to work with your alters, break free of programming, build your relationship with the Lord so that you are built up and strengthened. I have done things like installing inside door locks, for example. It creates a level of safety. The blame isn't yours. You aren't responsible for the actions of an abuser.
lilygrace
Well-Known Member
Jostler
Well-Known Member
Ms. Lily, let me reassure you we are incredibly happy you are here and participating with us in this pursuit of freedom you are just not someone who is insensitive, weird or offensive in any way. Yes, you've been a bit switchy lately....so what? It's all a part of the process. We love you, and delight in your presence here with us.
you are just not someone who is insensitive, weird or offensive in any way. Yes, you've been a bit switchy lately....so what? It's all a part of the process. We love you, and delight in your presence here with us.
Jostler
Well-Known Member
some things we can always expect because we are all still human and not yet perfected, is occasional misunderstandings and mistakes dealing with each other. Sometimes we don't communicate perfectly clearly....it happens and misunderstanding comes...and that's just something we all have to work through....Sometimes by forgiving
Jostler
Well-Known Member
you have never, ever been rude to anyone I've seen, certainly never toward me...ever. but you know what? If an alter presented who DID decide to be rude...and it very well might happen eventually....we're going to love you anyway. We understand that too is part of this overall process. We're not going to reject you because you have to deal with all the very same things any other survivors also have to work through. So very glad you are here, its a pleasure to be able to walk with you.
Jostler
Well-Known Member
and that means all of you. Inside and out, alter or presenter....it's all "you" and we'll take you as you are. Jesus us walking us toward a "wholeness" like we have never experienced before...though it may have difficult parts, it's His process...and we can delight in just following Him in the steps He sets for us...as best we can understand
Jostler
Well-Known Member
Very well said, brother. This has been my experience as well. Having things in writing also helps knock out denial. When merging takes place, you'll notice all these different aspects of your different parts, on a conscious level.I didn't realize how often switching happened until I started "sharing space" (co-presence) with certain alters, lilygrace. It was the strangest experience. I would say things and react in a manner I never would myself. It was as if I was someone else but was still myself! It was distressing until I came to understand what was happening.
There's an advantage to switching online and I want to encourage you not to shy away from it. Whatever an alter writes is a record. You can look back, see what they wrote, and know that switching occurred. It's been my experience (so far) that the more we know, the more prepared we are for merging when it starts to happen.
Funny! Interestingly, I was extremely quiet most of the time to the point people would ask if I talked. There was so much going on internally, my life being so much in danger all the time. I had a system of front alters who were always assessing our environment. I was the part (of the front system) who remained internal most of the time except to present (like a hand in a glove) through one of the others in the front system. My front system merged several years ago...around 2009.We share some things in common... but the experience I'll share was over a toy rubber alligator.
I was seven and rather fond of this toy alligator. An older and larger boy --- he was 12 --- asked to borrow it and so I let him. When I approached him later in the day and asked for it back, the kid refused and taunted me: Want it back? Make me give it give it back!
Okay. I jumped up and planted a fist in the middle of his face, knocking him to the ground and releasing my rubber alligator. The bully got up and ran away crying. I liked my rubber alligator!
Anyway, I was 11, about 5ft 4ins, and about 110lbs. I was a very quiet person so my classmates didn't expect me to punch that guy back. But others knew me as a child who would fight back. My strong will got me into a lot of trouble at times.
When I was 13, I became anorexic and at 5ft 5ins, lost down to 85lbs. That's a whole other subject...
Last edited: