I come here tonight as a broken person. I guess i should let you know some of my past life so you might be better able to help with the present. I imagine you have many messages from many hurting people so I will try to keep this short but I usually get a little longwinded.I was raised in a loving Christian family. My parents were nondenominational missionaries in Colombia SA. When I was 11 the whole mission school board, including myself, was kidnapped by Colombian rebels. They let everyone go except for my dad and one other man named Steve Welsh. We waited for a year and half for word that they might be released but on July 19, 1994 we got the word that they had been killed in a battle between the rebels and the Colombian army. As you can imagine this was very hard for my mom and my siblings to go thru. I don't think we really dealt with our grief as a family should and now both my older brother and my younger sister have many mental and emotional scars. As I do also. My older sister thankfully chose the right path for her life and was able to work thru her grief with the help of her husband and friends.As soon as I moved out of my moms house I basically turned my back on God and got into drinking and doing drugs. I even lost my virginity and am at the moment living in sin with a boy who is not a Christian. I don't know how to get myself out of the hole that I am in. God has been on my back even though I still turn from him and sin and that makes me feel like such a worthless person. I know that He loves me and wants to help me but still I prefer to do things my own way. I was just hoping that you might have some insight that would help me and my family. My brother and sister are both going to counseling and still don't seem to be doing too much better. Every day I fear that they will get to the point that they will give in to their feelings of dejection and committ suicide as they have nearly been at that point before. Do Christians who committ suicide go to hell? someone told me that one time and it has been weighing on my mind.I would appreciated your prayers in this matter. I don't want to keep you any longer as I know you have much on your shoulders too. Thank you for your time and I look forward to your response.