Affliction and Frustration

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Well-Known Member
May 7, 2021
United States
I'm frustrated. It's almost two years of it going on since the situation I was forced to be in happened. Every day I have a hard time focusing on my priorities. I've taken it to God and poured out my complaints to him. It's driving me crazy. It's driving me insane. I'm going to be really mad at God if he keeps allowing this to go on and waste years of my life in a place I never wanted to come to. I'm not sharing all this so I can be entertaining. I am afflicted. I'm not in the best health and it's caused depression. I'm stressed about the circumstance of my life. It's a complicated situation. I am upset with God for allowing stuff that hinder and never let me reach my breakthrough. Now is the time to bring up things I hadn't previously shared to the forefront.

I talked to my cousin after a year where he didn't answer my message. He said to me what I knew he was going to say to me. He said that I needed to have a plan to go back to where I want to return to, and that it shouldn't be just me wanting to go back to Oregon. Well, he didn't tell me that beforehand, he only told me after I had arrived in Florida, and I don't want to go back just for the sake of it; and there's stuff I could tell him that he won't understand. He said that he left me a message, but I didn't get a message from him. We argued about this. I didn't get either voice or text message. It wasn't text, he didn't reply back to my message when I texted him over a year ago. I asked him if the message he left me with was either voice or text. He didn't answer. I told him that he needs to keep his words. Him telling me about being able to help bring me back to the state I was forced to leave is a tease if he doesn't. My cousin says how he goes to church and stuff. But he's worldly and doesn't understand things beyond the surface level stuff. He isn't more than " I go to church".

The traffic and driving in Florida is really bad. I could have been hit by a car at least a couple of times. I'm fed up with it. It's always warm and there's only really one month where it's cold. Someone I met four years ago said something to me; he said that being in hot weather too much causes distraction and can make you not want to do important stuff. I'd say that he is right. I have a hard time focusing because of it. I prefer being somewhere where there is four seasons. My mom doesn't understand this, and she's the one who caused the move to this state. I found out that the dental office near where the home I'm now in (second home after moving from the first one) has closed down. I've had difficulty with my dental appointments and I tried to call a human resources department with no one answering. The businesses here are slow. It is ridiculous. I've been eating a lot. I've been eating out of boredom or depression. I try to exercise but the warm weather causes me too much distraction and I'm limited in Florida. God told me about my health, and I'm really upset with him about this whole situation. I'll have a hard time as long as I am here. If I went back with the clinic I was with in Oregon I would fare better. I'm mad at God about all of this, and I do not feel like this will be getting better as long as I am here. Especially things that contribute to my unhappiness. No matter how much I try to exercise or stop the eating, I won't do well. I hate it here in Florida.

There was a time when God departed from me. I've been doing what I could to stay on track. But the unhappiness about my life situation keeps coming back. I am overwhelmed. I wish God had respect on my desires. I can't do it, I can't improve the things that have caused my depression while I'm here. And I want to carry out my purposes which have been hindered. Satan has done everything to make sure I don't do well. One time he came and told me he is the lord. The devil has been getting on me about stuff. At one time he was on me for not striving against sin and the works of the flesh. When I did better with these he started to be really aggressive and attacked me harder. Which thankfully I had prayers for. I'm asking God how much must he let Satan have his advantages over me. All the frustration is because of what he allows him to do. The devil wants to stop me from reaching my goals. The humiliation of being caged is what triggers me to retaliate Satan and fight back. God hasn't felt my love sometimes, and I 'm doing what I can for him to show his former-lovingkindness.

Another thing that stresses me is about something I've been trying to do for a long time. I'm trying to get back with another forum that I was associated with, and haven't been there for many years now. But it has never materialized and I struggle to reach my goal with it. I did a thread about this some time back. It was me asking for prayer to remember my password for the forum. I want to be active there again, but I have been dealing with difficulties that I never amount to it. Because of what I mentioned about the hot weather being a distraction and the situation of me being in Florida. If I do go back to Oregon I'm going to need to be in a situation where I can carry out the purpose I had in mind with the forum I am talking about. This also has been a stressors to me. I don't want to be in a situation that prevents me from the purposes I had in going back to that forum and what I want to carry out. I worked so much for it. I had a talk with the owner of the forum 5 years ago and that I would come back, but I haven't. I'm very sorry to her that I haven't. I want to show myself to her after all this time, and the people who knew and thought well of me.

In July of 2021 I met a girl who I shared the same interest in. We were getting to know each other. Things were going well but something mysteriously happened. She disappeared. I discovered that something happened to her and someone was pretending to be her. A bunch of criminals were in on this. God revealed this to me. Satan has been using people against me and his demons. I wish for God to bring justice to the situation. This happening to me solidified my belief about good things in my life being taken from me. I don't want this bad luck anymore.

I have thought about and considered repaying for things I got away with in the past. For the times I got away with stealing. I am considering repaying for the times I got away with being a thief when I was a teenager. This is another reason I must return to Oregon. I don't know how much bearing this has on my misfortunes, but I want to do it. I want to make up for it to God. I wish to see this through.

Please pray that things concerning my life situation gets resolved. I must return to Oregon for the things I spoke of. I also need to be able to carry out my purpose I mentioned about the forum I was associated with, and for it to materialize and come to fruition. Satan wants to stop me from this. Pray for the things that Satan do to hinder that to be eliminated. I need prayers for me to be able to continue what I have been trying to carry out with said forum, for if and when I do go back to my former state. Pray that if my heart has been twisted, for it to be repaired. Pray against Satan's accusations against me to God, so that Jesus may plead my cause. Pray that there be peace between me and my parents, father and mother, and there be respect regarding me wanting to go back. I want to find out what happened to the girl, who I met when I was in Oregon. Please pray that God brings justice concerning that matter. Please pray for hope regarding my desires. Thanks for the prayers I get.

GRACE ambassador

Well-Known Member
Mar 1, 2021
United States
I'm going to be really mad at God if he keeps allowing this to go on and waste years of my life in a place I never wanted to come to. I'm not sharing all this so I can be entertaining. I am afflicted. I'm not in the best health and it's caused depression. I'm stressed about the circumstance of my life. It's a complicated situation.
Precious friend, sorry to hear - God LOVES you Very Much! I will pray for you.
Please Be Very Encouraged and Edified In God's:

GRACE Word for our infirmities

Grace, Peace, And JOY In Christ, And In His Word Of Truth, Rightly
! (+ I and II!)