Can an unwed mother be like Sarah? How so?

  • Welcome to Christian Forums, a Christian Forum that recognizes that all Christians are a work in progress.

    You will need to register to be able to join in fellowship with Christians all over the world.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless!

DuckieLady

Well-Known Member
Jan 8, 2021
3,287
5,924
113
Midwest-ish
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
I'm not going to say anything, I am just going to listen.

Is it even possible?

1 Peter 3

"Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear."
 

Lambano

Well-Known Member
Jul 13, 2021
6,236
8,928
113
Island of Misfit Toys
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
Since this passage is addressed to wives, I can't see that submission to husbands like Sarah applies to unwed mothers. But I see no reason why an unwed mother should not still develop a gentle and quiet spirit.

Can we conclude that since it's addressed only to wives, a single mother can wear elaborate hairstyles, gold jewelry, and fine clothes until she gets married? (Can single moms afford that stuff?) I don't think I want to go there.
 
Last edited:

Mayflower

Well-Known Member
Jul 14, 2018
7,820
11,768
113
Bluffton
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
Since this passage is addressed to wives, I can't see that submission to husbands like Sarah applies to unwed mothers. But I see no reason why an unwed mother should not still develop a gentle and quiet spirit.

Can we conclude that since it's addressed only to wives, a single mother can wear elaborate hairstyles, gold jewelry, and fine clothes until she gets married? (Can single moms afford that stuff?) I don't think I want to go there.

Being able to afford it alone is the greatest way to abstain as a single mom. I can't even imagine. That would be hard.
 

DuckieLady

Well-Known Member
Jan 8, 2021
3,287
5,924
113
Midwest-ish
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
Since this passage is addressed to wives, I can't see that submission to husbands like Sarah applies to unwed mothers. But I see no reason why an unwed mother should not still develop a gentle and quiet spirit.

Can we conclude that since it's addressed only to wives, a single mother can wear elaborate hairstyles, gold jewelry, and fine clothes until she gets married? (Can single moms afford that stuff?) I don't think I want to go there.
Lol probably could but I don't take the time for all that

Yeah, I can't see much in there an unwed mother could relate to.

So I suppose I would try to be not so much like Sarah, and more like Susanna Wesley.

I'll go study her, then.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Lambano

Hidden In Him

Well-Known Member
May 10, 2018
10,600
10,883
113
59
Lafayette, LA
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
I'm not going to say anything, I am just going to listen.

Is it even possible?

1 Peter 3

"Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear."

As per our previous conversation on this, I believe it becomes possible if you give yourself to being married to the Lord, as it were, which is not really an "unBiblical" thing to teach. Let me show you a passage on this. I will highlight the verses in particular that I think have bearing. Maybe read those first and then read the entire passage:

17 But as God has distributed to each one, as the Lord has called each one, so let him walk. And so I ordain in all the churches. 18 Was anyone called while circumcised? Let him not become uncircumcised. Was anyone called while uncircumcised? Let him not be circumcised. 19 Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing, but keeping the commandments of God is what matters. 20 Let each one remain in the same calling in which he was called. 21 Were you called while a slave? Do not be concerned about it; but if you can be made free, rather use it. 22 For he who is called in the Lord while a slave is the Lord’s freedman. Likewise he who is called while free is Christ’s slave. 23 You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men. 24 Brethren, let each one remain with God in that state in which he was called.

To the Unmarried and Widows

25 Now concerning virgins: I have no commandment from the Lord; yet I give judgment as one whom the Lord in His mercy has made trustworthy. 26 I suppose therefore that this is good because of the present distress—that it is good for a man to remain as he is: 27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you.

29 But this I say, brethren, the time is short, so that from now on even those who have wives should be as though they had none, 30 those who weep as though they did not weep, those who rejoice as though they did not rejoice, those who buy as though they did not possess, 31 and those who use this world as not misusing it. For the form of this world is passing away.

32 But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. 33 But he who is married cares about the things of the world—how he may please his wife. 34 There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. 35 And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction.
 
  • Like
Reactions: DuckieLady

DuckieLady

Well-Known Member
Jan 8, 2021
3,287
5,924
113
Midwest-ish
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
As per our previous conversation on this, I believe it becomes possible if you give yourself to being married to the Lord, as it were, which is not really an "unBiblical" thing to teach. Let me show you a passage on this. I will highlight the verses in particular that I think have bearing. Maybe read those first and then read the entire passage:

17 But as God has distributed to each one, as the Lord has called each one, so let him walk. And so I ordain in all the churches. 18 Was anyone called while circumcised? Let him not become uncircumcised. Was anyone called while uncircumcised? Let him not be circumcised. 19 Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing, but keeping the commandments of God is what matters. 20 Let each one remain in the same calling in which he was called. 21 Were you called while a slave? Do not be concerned about it; but if you can be made free, rather use it. 22 For he who is called in the Lord while a slave is the Lord’s freedman. Likewise he who is called while free is Christ’s slave. 23 You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men. 24 Brethren, let each one remain with God in that state in which he was called.

To the Unmarried and Widows

25 Now concerning virgins: I have no commandment from the Lord; yet I give judgment as one whom the Lord in His mercy has made trustworthy. 26 I suppose therefore that this is good because of the present distress—that it is good for a man to remain as he is: 27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you.

29 But this I say, brethren, the time is short, so that from now on even those who have wives should be as though they had none, 30 those who weep as though they did not weep, those who rejoice as though they did not rejoice, those who buy as though they did not possess, 31 and those who use this world as not misusing it. For the form of this world is passing away.

32 But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. 33 But he who is married cares about the things of the world—how he may please his wife. 34 There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. 35 And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction.
Finally a spot where something is said about us
 

Hidden In Him

Well-Known Member
May 10, 2018
10,600
10,883
113
59
Lafayette, LA
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
"Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear."


If you were married to the Lord in this context, it would mean giving yourself primarily to the Lord in prayer. This is how He speaks to you, and would clothe you in "the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit."
 

Hidden In Him

Well-Known Member
May 10, 2018
10,600
10,883
113
59
Lafayette, LA
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
Finally a spot where something is said about us


Yes, Ma'am, and please do not underestimate the value in what Paul was teaching here. When I was still single, I tried to bring up these teachings and got "corrected" about it every single time. You would think remaining single unto the Lord would be common sense, but it was not a popular thing to teach.

But I ASSURE you what he was teaching here was true. To this day there are times in my life where my marriage distracts me from serving God, including lately; the holiday season is tough for me every single year, and the reason is because I am expected to go visit family, go to parties (Christian ones), go celebrate New Years, buy presents, eat like a horse, go out to eat dinner multiple times, spend more money than I should, etc.

It NEVER fails that by this time of year I am trying desperately to get my spiritual life back. Marriage can also have its trade offs in a positive way, but for the truly spiritual man and spiritual woman, what Paul said was absolutely true. He knew that marriage can be a burden on one's life, and for the one completely devoted to serving the Lord Jesus Christ it can become a real problem sometimes. Trust me.
 
  • Like
Reactions: DuckieLady

DuckieLady

Well-Known Member
Jan 8, 2021
3,287
5,924
113
Midwest-ish
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
Also @Hidden In Him I don't think that was prophetic, just something that popped into my head, except being led to that verse alone, which is fine.

But now I think I am more being led to work on keeping quiet and obedience to the word and things I hadnt paid attention to.
 

Hidden In Him

Well-Known Member
May 10, 2018
10,600
10,883
113
59
Lafayette, LA
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
Also @Hidden In Him I don't think that was prophetic, just something that popped into my head, except being led to that verse alone, which is fine.

But now I think I am more being led to work on keeping quiet and obedience to the word and things I hadnt paid attention to.

It's fine. Follow your leading.
But now I think I am more being led to work on keeping quiet and obedience to the word and things I hadnt paid attention to.

There is a wisdom in maintaining a "quiet spirit," as the apostles taught. You are able to maintain hearing from God if you maintain a gentle spirit. If you get into lots of emotional episodes and outbursts and things that take all your attention, it distracts you from hearing the voice of God.

That actually preaches. Too bad I never listen to myself preach, LoL.
 
  • Like
Reactions: DuckieLady

Hidden In Him

Well-Known Member
May 10, 2018
10,600
10,883
113
59
Lafayette, LA
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
I think verse 28 would apply to you: If you remarry, you are not sinning. What does your heart want?

Yes, and this is the question for all of us.

I mentioned there are positives to marriage as well, so I suppose it would pay to mention that stuff in this context:

1. Financially you are usually in a somewhat better position, because you can pool resources, kinda like two mules pulling the same cart. The exception here would be if your spouse ends up being covetous, or a materialist, or consumed with appearances and needing to keep up with the Joneses, or things of that nature.

2. They can help with household demands. This is where my wife is a blessing to me. I get so deeply into my spiritual life that even things like washing clothes becomes something I let fall behind. She does this sort of thing for me.

3. Doing things for each other, which is nice: We tend to cook for each other, or buy each other food, or fast food meals, things of that nature.

4. The company. If you ever do marry @FluffyYellowDuck , make SURE he is someone whose company you really enjoy, and preferably someone who makes you laugh. Having someone to meet your sexual needs is nice, and important, but that slowly fades with age. What remains is having to live with them every day, and if they are fun to be around then you made a good choice.

Those are just a few, but they are the ones that come to mind in my situation.
 
  • Like
Reactions: DuckieLady

Lambano

Well-Known Member
Jul 13, 2021
6,236
8,928
113
Island of Misfit Toys
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
Yes, and this is the question for all of us.

I mentioned there are positives to marriage as well, so I suppose it would pay to mention that stuff in this context:

1. Financially you are usually in a somewhat better position, because you can pool resources, kinda like two mules pulling the same cart. The exception here would be if your spouse ends up being covetous, or a materialist, or consumed with appearances and needing to keep up with the Jones, or things of that nature.

2. They can help with household demands. This is where my wife is a blessing to me. I get so deeply into my spiritual life that even things like washing clothes becomes something I let fall behind. She does this sort of thing for me.

3. Doing things for each other, which is nice: We tend to cook for each other, or buy each other food, or fast food meals, things of that nature.

4. The company. If you ever do marry @FluffyYellowDuck , make SURE he is someone whose company you really enjoy, and preferably someone who makes you laugh. Having someone to meet your sexual needs is nice, and important, but that slowly fades with age. What remains is having to live with them every day, and if they are fun to be around then you made a good choice.

Those are just a few, but they are the ones that come to mind in my situation.

Well said, HIH.

Me, I know I'm called to be married. My wife and I complement each other: Her strengths cover my weaknesses, and my strengths cover her weaknesses. We each serve God with our individual talents.

@FluffyYellowDuck , I've sensed for some time that your heart wants to be married again. Whether that is a calling from God, I can't say. You'll have to figure that out for yourself.
 

DuckieLady

Well-Known Member
Jan 8, 2021
3,287
5,924
113
Midwest-ish
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
I think verse 28 would apply to you: If you remarry, you are not sinning. What does your heart want?
You know the verse

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life."

I don't know what verse would go in the place.

I'll write my own proverb...

Fed sourdough starter (desire) grows
But neglect it and it dies

So honestly It has been so long that I actually don't really understand the concept of romance anymore, or eros, and not kidding, reading this question my first thought was "spicy fries".

OIP.V6jqjFp-xOFdwPMkeLijIwHaHa
 

Hidden In Him

Well-Known Member
May 10, 2018
10,600
10,883
113
59
Lafayette, LA
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
and not kidding, reading this question my first thought was "spicy fries".

LoL!

That's another thing. A husband will very likely want you to keep your figure, which means you'll be out there with all the other women I see at 5 AM in the morning jogging to keep from blowing up like a balloon.

If you're not married, you and Chester Cheeta can have a thing going, and there's nothing anyone can do or say about it.


hqdefault.jpg
 
  • Like
Reactions: DuckieLady

Lambano

Well-Known Member
Jul 13, 2021
6,236
8,928
113
Island of Misfit Toys
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
You know the verse

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life."

I don't know what verse would go in the place.

I'll write my own proverb...

Fed sourdough starter (desire) grows
But neglect it and it dies

So honestly It has been so long that I actually don't really understand the concept of romance anymore, or eros, and not kidding, reading this question my first thought was "spicy fries".

Don't worry about it. When it's time, love will awaken.
 

DuckieLady

Well-Known Member
Jan 8, 2021
3,287
5,924
113
Midwest-ish
Faith
Christian
Country
United States
Spicy fries????
They're super good gas station vegetables

LoL!

That's another thing. A husband will very likely want you to keep your figure, which means you'll be out there with all the other women I see at 5 AM in the morning jogging to keep from blowing up like a balloon.

If you're not married, you and Chester Cheeta can have a thing going, and there's nothing anyone can do or say about it.


hqdefault.jpg
Lol!!!