Can I talk with someone about my sexual issues?

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dibgaz

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Hello, I am dibgaz.

I have classified myself here as non-Christian because I don't wish to paint myself as a member of one religion to the exclusions of others: I believe in the unification of all religions. I am a spiritual man who aspires to be Christ-like and I have been doing this very seriously for many years, almost full-time, using a variety of methods including meditation.

I am engaged to be married to the woman I love. I do not and have not cheated on her but I have problems with my sexuality. Some of these problems have affected her and now she has some bad habits too.

I'm not really looking advice although I will certainly consider any that is given. Really what I crave now is some personal communication with one person or more who is least somewhat aware of the problems that sex can cause and is willing to talk with me compassionately. I feel like maybe I need to confess somehow. I know I have the ability to rid myself of my sexual needs and elevate it into the sacred but it will be a long process for me. I'm hoping I can have some useful conversations.

I'm not sure how comfortable the admins are with sexual related talk which is why I haven't mentioned anything specific here. If I'm not to say anything more then I'm happy to talk about it over PMs only.

Well wishes to you all
 

Michiah-Imla

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Consciously fulfilling the wrongful desires of the flesh is very evil.

Just think of the eternal things you put in jeopardy over temporal earthly things…
 

Patrick1966

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I believe that the closer a couple is to God the closer they will be to one another, although that belief might not be of any immediate help with your concern.

I don't believe sharing the intimate details of your sexual kinks will be edifying for either of us, although that's certainly not my call.
 
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marks

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Hello, I am dibgaz.

I have classified myself here as non-Christian because I don't wish to paint myself as a member of one religion to the exclusions of others: I believe in the unification of all religions. I am a spiritual man who aspires to be Christ-like and I have been doing this very seriously for many years, almost full-time, using a variety of methods including meditation.

I am engaged to be married to the woman I love. I do not and have not cheated on her but I have problems with my sexuality. Some of these problems have affected her and now she has some bad habits too.

I'm not really looking advice although I will certainly consider any that is given. Really what I crave now is some personal communication with one person or more who is least somewhat aware of the problems that sex can cause and is willing to talk with me compassionately. I feel like maybe I need to confess somehow. I know I have the ability to rid myself of my sexual needs and elevate it into the sacred but it will be a long process for me. I'm hoping I can have some useful conversations.

I'm not sure how comfortable the admins are with sexual related talk which is why I haven't mentioned anything specific here. If I'm not to say anything more then I'm happy to talk about it over PMs only.

Well wishes to you all
PM's can be read by the owners, and cannot be deleted or changed. So I'd be careful what you write on the internet.

The best thing in my opinion would be if you were able to speak personally with a mature Christian. Is that something you'd like to do?

Much love!
 

dibgaz

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Consciously fulfilling the wrongful desires of the flesh is very evil.

Just think of the eternal things you put in jeopardy over temporal earthly things…

Please excuse my ignorance but what is it that you think I am doing that is evil (if it is possible to say) and, more importantly, why is it evil? (Not saying you are wrong or that I necessarily disagree, by the way.)

PM's can be read by the owners, and cannot be deleted or changed. So I'd be careful what you write on the internet.

The best thing in my opinion would be if you were able to speak personally with a mature Christian. Is that something you'd like to do?

Much love!

Thanks for disclosing the privacy issue although I am disappointed to hear that members here don't have privacy with their private messages. Rather a contradiction of terms at best I have to say.

I am looking to communicate with someone. I'm open to that being a mature Christian but I wouldn't exclude others. I'm not looking to do it in person though.
 

dibgaz

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I believe that the closer a couple is to God the closer they will be to one another, although that belief might not be of any immediate help with your concern.

I don't believe sharing the intimate details of your sexual kinks will be edifying for either of us, although that's certainly not my call.

Appreciate your thoughts, Patrick. I agree it is usually better not to talk about it. I usually don't and I have been working on myself for years, as I mentioned, and haven't done it before. What is different about now? Well I feel like I don't understand exactly what I'm feeling or why at least some of the time. I'm usually very rational person and don't like to do things that have negative consequences. I know there are problems with what I'm doing but there seems to be blank spot about why or what exactly they are. I was hoping someone else might be able to fill in some blanks.
 

The Learner

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When you pray ask Jesus and the Holy Spirit join you in prayer. In Christian Understanding one does not defeat a sin or bad behavior on their own. One, must daily depend on the empowering, filling of the Holy Spirit. It is best to be mindful of him. This form of prayer has helpped many overcome adictions.
 

dibgaz

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Thanks, The Learner. Appreciate you taking the time to answer.

I did some of my usual clearing on a couple of new issues and that has moved me on from this state of wanting to talk about my problems so you may all may consider the matter closed.

At the moment I seem to be able to resist all sex and even have some disliking for it now. It will surely change soon though. It's always complex with me and my process is still improving. Getting there little by little. But seems at the moment I am managing to expose darkness within myself and then resolve that. It is satisfying.
 
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strepho

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No one is judging you or criticizing you. The beauty of christianity is repentance for sins and forgiveness. Acts chapter 3. Those who refuse to repent will pay for their sins on judgement day. James chapter 2 talks about faith and works. Those who are members of body of christ are supposed to be producing fruit for God. Its studying the bible and sharing Gods truth with others. Getting involved with someone may impede on your spiritual growth. I strongly encourage you to convert to christianity and repentance. Getting involved with someone will be baggage you dont need. Luke chapter 9:62
Those who put thier hand to the plough and look back, are not fit for kingdom of God. Those who refuse to repent and convert to christianity, will end up in sheol. Its holding place for the spirtualty dead. Peace.
 
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