Craving Attention, Feeling Ignored

[Wynona]

Do you ever feel empty? Like everyone else is acknowledged more than you?

Like others are being praised and admired but you are invisible, especially as you seek to serve the Lord.

No one notices you slowly bearing fruit. It doesn't get a lot of comments or likes when you have self-control or when you pay attention to everyone else.

Satan used feelings like this against me, playing me like a fiddle.

I thought if more people paid attention to me, Id be happier. So I began to pay attention to others hoping that they'd reciprocate when I felt invisible.

And when they often didn't, I felt down and disappointed. I cared so why didn't they?

The cycle continued in my life for years, often leading me down paths of sin. I just wanted to be acknowledged, I thought. But it harmed me, this endless cycle. It harmed my marriage.

I want people to know that this cycle can end by us seeking the Lord and His acknowledgement first. No amount of scratching that itch for validation can ever satisfy your loneliness. But the Lord can. Live for Him, and take these desires to Him.

Cry out to the Lord when you crave attention in destructive ways. He will speak to your heart, encourage you with love and fill you to the brim with purpose and joy.

You don't have to be empty. You can be filled with God's joy and His Word and have something truly wonderful to share with others. You can encourage others as you are encouraged by the Lord.

The secret to happiness is not in how much attention we get but in truly loving God and loving our neighbour, being of service to them.

Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and He will pour out security, love, applause, encouragement for you. He wants to minister to our hearts in that way.

The desire for worldly attention was a snare to me for years. That gnawing emptiness, the self-pity, and envy of others took up much of my time as I scrolled through social media.

Now, Jesus is the Friend that I rely on. He acknowledges me and let me tell you, that is more than enough. As I grow in obedience to Him, I seek His face and put my sins away and He draws near, calling me His child and His beloved.

No amount of attention from anyone on this earth can replace that.

Cry out to God and share the deep empty spots in your heart. Seek His face and He will fill you with joy that spreads from you to your loved ones. You can serve others without needing anything in return as you seek to please the Lord.

And out of the overflow of love you experience, you can minister to the needs of others. That is the cycle we want: getting filled with God's presence and love, that overflowing to others.

 

[MatthewG]

It is paradoxical is it not?

In life we desire admiration and validation by those around us, especially when we do not have God, and the Lord Jesus Christ in our life.

Trying to please everyone around even submitting to the ways of the world to entreat ourselves with the feeling of validation of being part of the crowd. The world itself is all of the lust of the eyes, lust of the flesh, and pride of life.

When a person comes to our Father, and the Lord Jesus Christ. Our ways change from the way interact with the world itself. Because if the spirit of Christ is in us; our ways start to conform to the ways of the Lord rather than what the world instructs us to act. By the spirit a believer are given the abilities from Christ with-in them to have love: which causes joy, peace, forbearance of others, forgiveness, mercy, kind, it doesn't envy, it doesn't boast, it doesn't seek to do evil to others, it does not seek to harm others, it seeks to encourage, to be kind, have self-control over ourselves by the spirit that lives with-in us.

And when we do mess up because we will: We recognize that it is simply our flesh acting up that might get riled up and say something mean to a person and the spirit will notify you of doing wrong; but we do not beat ourselves over it we seek to reconcile with the other and if they do not accept it we continue in faith and call out to God to continue to increase our faith, praying and reading the word of God so that we can continue not in a state of sorrow but a state of joy for what the Lord Jesus Christ has done for all of the world paying for the sins of the world because of Gods love of all people in it.

Living in relationship with the living God of the bible and the living Lord Jesus Christ spirit with-in us is far better than what the world has to offer for the things of God are all spiritual and the spiritual side of things are much more of a blessing to have in our lives. And our hearts with-in are changed. Being renewed in our mind by the word of God.

As a believer you know that you are loved regardless if other people love you or not or have problems with you: As a believer we pray and by the spirit we love people not by compulsion but out of the agape love because of what God had done for all people in sending the Lord Jesus Christ to save us from the darkness that we are all born in until the light of Christ emerges with-in a person by hearing the truths of God.

Thank you for your encouraging post @Wynona.

 

[Nancy]

Do you ever feel empty? Like everyone else is acknowledged more than you?

Like others are being praised and admired but you are invisible, especially as you seek to serve the Lord.

No one notices you slowly bearing fruit. It doesn't get a lot of comments or likes when you have self-control or when you pay attention to everyone else.

Satan used feelings like this against me, playing me like a fiddle.

I thought if more people paid attention to me, Id be happier. So I began to pay attention to others hoping that they'd reciprocate when I felt invisible.

And when they often didn't, I felt down and disappointed. I cared so why didn't they?

The cycle continued in my life for years, often leading me down paths of sin. I just wanted to be acknowledged, I thought. But it harmed me, this endless cycle. It harmed my marriage.

I want people to know that this cycle can end by us seeking the Lord and His acknowledgement first. No amount of scratching that itch for validation can ever satisfy your loneliness. But the Lord can. Live for Him, and take these desires to Him.

Cry out to the Lord when you crave attention in destructive ways. He will speak to your heart, encourage you with love and fill you to the brim with purpose and joy.

You don't have to be empty. You can be filled with God's joy and His Word and have something truly wonderful to share with others. You can encourage others as you are encouraged by the Lord.

The secret to happiness is not in how much attention we get but in truly loving God and loving our neighbour, being of service to them.

Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and He will pour out security, love, applause, encouragement for you. He wants to minister to our hearts in that way.

The desire for worldly attention was a snare to me for years. That gnawing emptiness, the self-pity, and envy of others took up much of my time as I scrolled through social media.

Now, Jesus is the Friend that I rely on. He acknowledges me and let me tell you, that is more than enough. As I grow in obedience to Him, I seek His face and put my sins away and He draws near, calling me His child and His beloved.

No amount of attention from anyone on this earth can replace that.

Cry out to God and share the deep empty spots in your heart. Seek His face and He will fill you with joy that spreads from you to your loved ones. You can serve others without needing anything in return as you seek to please the Lord.

And out of the overflow of love you experience, you can minister to the needs of others. That is the cycle we want: getting filled with God's presence and love, that overflowing to others.

Good post Wynona,
Yes, we need to be Christ conscience and not self-conscience! It can and does hurt if shunned as it is a form of abuse, and other Christians are supposed to be our brothers and sisters so, they should not ever shun a bro or sis. yet, they can be the worst!

We know that when we don't "fit in", we know that we are His no matter. HE sees what we do for Him and His Kingdom, He is the one who will one day (hopefully ) say: "Well done good and faithful servant"!

God bless you sister, and march on!!!!

 

[Wynona]

It is paradoxical is it not?

In life we desire admiration and validation by those around us, especially when we do not have God, and the Lord Jesus Christ in our life.

Trying to please everyone around even submitting to the ways of the world to entreat ourselves with the feeling of validation of being part of the crowd. The world itself is all of the lust of the eyes, lust of the flesh, and pride of life.

When a person comes to our Father, and the Lord Jesus Christ. Our ways change from the way interact with the world itself. Because if the spirit of Christ is in us; our ways start to conform to the ways of the Lord rather than what the world instructs us to act. By the spirit a believer are given the abilities from Christ with-in them to have love: which causes joy, peace, forbearance of others, forgiveness, mercy, kind, it doesn't envy, it doesn't boast, it doesn't seek to do evil to others, it does not seek to harm others, it seeks to encourage, to be kind, have self-control over ourselves by the spirit that lives with-in us.

And when we do mess up because we will: We recognize that it is simply our flesh acting up that might get riled up and say something mean to a person and the spirit will notify you of doing wrong; but we do not beat ourselves over it we seek to reconcile with the other and if they do not accept it we continue in faith and call out to God to continue to increase our faith, praying and reading the word of God so that we can continue not in a state of sorrow but a state of joy for what the Lord Jesus Christ has done for all of the world paying for the sins of the world because of Gods love of all people in it.

Living in relationship with the living God of the bible and the living Lord Jesus Christ spirit with-in us is far better than what the world has to offer for the things of God are all spiritual and the spiritual side of things are much more of a blessing to have in our lives. And our hearts with-in are changed. Being renewed in our mind by the word of God.

As a believer you know that you are loved regardless if other people love you or not or have problems with you: As a believer we pray and by the spirit we love people not by compulsion but out of the agape love because of what God had done for all people in sending the Lord Jesus Christ to save us from the darkness that we are all born in until the light of Christ emerges with-in a person by hearing the truths of God.

Thank you for your encouraging post @Wynona.

Thank you Matthew G. God bless you!

 

[Wynona]

Good post Wynona,
Yes, we need to be Christ conscience and not self-conscience! It can and does hurt if shunned as it is a form of abuse, and other Christians are supposed to be our brothers and sisters so, they should not ever shun a bro or sis. yet, they can be the worst!

We know that when we don't "fit in", we know that we are His no matter. HE sees what we do for Him and His Kingdom, He is the one who will one day (hopefully ) say: "Well done good and faithful servant"!

God bless you sister, and march on!!!!

God bless you too, Sister! Your posts are always encouraging!!

 

[Enoch111]

No amount of attention from anyone on this earth can replace that.

Christians are rarely been taught their position IN CHRIST. Once a person understands that, the approval of men is not important. Chances are that consistent Christians will not be appreciated by anyone. Jesus was rarely appreciated.

 

[MatthewG]

That is a good point @Enoch111.

The position that people should realize whom are in Christianity is our new identity in Christ is who we are, that the outward will not go back to God but the inner spirit (new man/woman new creation, inner man or woman) of God in us, Christ in us is going back to God.

 

[Shattered]

A good word, @Wynona . Edifying to read.

I was afflicted in an opposite manner, wanting nothing more than to remain unseen and escape the notice of others. I preferred silence to speaking and did my best to find ways to blend with the background so my works would remain secret. I was mortified of money and possessions, accustomed to losing both swiftly, never remaining in one place for long. I wandered for most of my time on this earth.

Nevertheless His will and not my own be done. It began when the Lord noticed me much to my chagrin... surely Christ despised me, so why would He speak and reveal Himself to me? Why? I'm nothing and preferred it that way!

But the Lord called upon me and when I answered Him, I was filled with dread. The Spirit of God was upon me and His calling was ever so clear: I would yield this life into His hand and live only for Him. He would give His own life to me so I might dwell with Him forever. I belonged to Christ and no other...

No one, not even myself. I walked in ignorance until that day when the Lord baptized me in His Spirit, opening my eyes for the first time in my life. Yes, His will and not my own be done. If the Lord intends for me to be noticed, then I am. If He is pleased with me remaining unnoticed and unseen, then so be it. All I desire is to be with Him in fullness for the Lord is all I have in this world.

Praise God!

 

[Wynona]

A good word, @Wynona . Edifying to read.

I was afflicted in an opposite manner, wanting nothing more than to remain unseen and escape the notice of others. I preferred silence to speaking and did my best to find ways to blend with the background so my works would remain secret. I was mortified of money and possessions, accustomed to losing both swiftly, never remaining in one place for long. I wandered for most of my time on this earth.

Nevertheless His will and not my own be done. It began when the Lord noticed me much to my chagrin... surely Christ despised me, so why would He speak and reveal Himself to me? Why? I'm nothing and preferred it that way!

But the Lord called upon me and when I answered Him, I was filled with dread. The Spirit of God was upon me and His calling was ever so clear: I would yield this life into His hand and live only for Him. He would give His own life to me so I might dwell with Him forever. I belonged to Christ and no other...

No one, not even myself. I walked in ignorance until that day when the Lord baptized me in His Spirit, opening my eyes for the first time in my life. Yes, His will and not my own be done. If the Lord intends for me to be noticed, then I am. If He is pleased with me remaining unnoticed and unseen, then so be it. All I desire is to be with Him in fullness for the Lord is all I have in this world.

Praise God!

Thank you, Shattered.
Amen, brother. It all comes back to doing God's will and not our own.

 

[lilygrace]

i can relate.
i can be shy about being seen but i kind of want to. i like doing music...but feel weird if someone compliments me that they dont mean it.
i am struggling cos i feel like people see more evil than good in me i know i am not perfect. but still. i feel like a few people pick at flaws.

 

[Wynona]

i can relate.
i can be shy about being seen but i kind of want to. i like doing music...but feel weird if someone compliments me that they dont mean it.
i am struggling cos i feel like people see more evil than good in me i know i am not perfect. but still. i feel like a few people pick at flaws.

Im sorry that you're struggling, Sis.

Ill add you to my prayer list.

 

[Brakelite]

There another aspect to this, a trap Israel fell into and which Christ's people in many instances have followed.
KJV 1 Samuel 8:4-5
4 Then all the elders of Israel gathered themselves together, and came to Samuel unto Ramah,
5 And said unto him, Behold, thou art old, and thy sons walk not in thy ways: now make us a king to judge us like all the nations.
Wanting to be like the world, in order to be accepted by the world. This has even affected the way many preach the gospel. They think if they become like sinners, sinners will then believe them. Such thinking is clearly revealed in the areas of gospel music and the way we conduct our church services. Desiring approbation and approval of the world ends up with the world conquering the church, not the other way around. The fall of the church in Rome in the early centuries is a stark demonstration of this. They also chose to have a king over them. Just like Israel in the time of Christ. "we will not have this man to rule over us... We have no other king but Caesar".
Praise God Wynona that the Lord showed you His way. It is indeed a downward slippery slope the moment we seek approval from others instead of God. Good topic.

 

[quietthinker]

Hello Wynona...perception could be a factor for being ignored....either one is considered too dumb to communicate with or too smart.

 

[Wynona]

Hello Wynona...perception could be a factor for being ignored....either one is considered too dumb to communicate with or too smart.

I do think a lot of people who aren't natural readers struggle with their attention spans and always avoid long posts.

 

[Nancy]

I do think a lot of people who aren't natural readers struggle with their attention spans and always avoid long posts.

Hi Wynona,
Long posts take a lot of time to go over well. It's easy to spend all your time on one single post but, I'd much rather the shorter ones...
xo

 

[quietthinker]

I do think a lot of people who aren't natural readers struggle with their attention spans and always avoid long posts.

I think llooong posts, unless one is a gifted writer and is clear on what is presented becomes long winded, repetitive and reflects the posters ego.
My preference is 'concise'....a waffler looses my attention quickly.

 

[Wynona]

I think llooong posts, unless one is a gifted writer and is clear on what is presented becomes long winded, repetitive and reflects the posters ego.
My preference is 'concise'....a waffler looses my attention quickly.

I agree that good writing is often to the point. All I ask is that people include paragraph breaks and don't give me a wall of text

 

[atpollard]

My hero is a guy named Bill. Bill rejects any sort of titles or positions. He doesn’t want to be placed in charge of anything or to be called to the front of the church for recognition. Bill just likes to do the quiet, behind the scene work. Bill likes to mow the grass on Saturday so the church looks good for Sunday service. When there is a Thursday “Dinner on the Grounds” planned, Bill likes to show up early to set up tables and stay after to wash the serving dishes.

I don’t ever want to be a deacon or elder and have people address me with titles of respect. I just want to be a “Bill” … working quietly in the background where God and I know about it. I think “useful” might be better than “honored”. The church already has a lot of people to “honor” and seems a little short on people that are “useful”.

[shrug]
… But what do I know about anything.

 

[Wynona]

I think my thoughts from today belong here rather than in a separate thread.

I think we all have Christians we look up to. Maybe it's a famous theologian like A.W Tozer or a YouTube prophet or a street evangelist.

But I quickly got frustrated by either being let down by people like this or comparing myself to them.

Where do I fit in? I asked the Lord and He said, " Do my will."

I used to think that God's will is always some huge flashy sacrifice. But for me it's really more like a series of small, unimportant seeming tasks on most days.

I think I am becoming more and more okay with this. I think God is leading me to verses like


Matthew 7:22-24




22 Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?

23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

24 Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock:

There are people who look like flashy SuperChristians who are simply not doing God's will.

They are flowing in miracles, signs, and wonders and stumbling over simple obedience.

 

[Wynona]

My hero is a guy named Bill. Bill rejects any sort of titles or positions. He doesn’t want to be placed in charge of anything or to be called to the front of the church for recognition. Bill just likes to do the quiet, behind the scene work. Bill likes to mow the grass on Saturday so the church looks good for Sunday service. When there is a Thursday “Dinner on the Grounds” planned, Bill likes to show up early to set up tables and stay after to wash the serving dishes.

I don’t ever want to be a deacon or elder and have people address me with titles of respect. I just want to be a “Bill” … working quietly in the background where God and I know about it. I think “useful” might be better than “honored”. The church already has a lot of people to “honor” and seems a little short on people that are “useful”.

[shrug]
… But what do I know about anything.

I love that. I think sometimes even my best intentions come from vanity at times. I often want the flashy faith of another saint. But you are absolutely right. To be useful is better than being honored.