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Nancy

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I've been having depression for many months. This bought of depression started about a year ago. There was an event at work, that started it. But I've been dealing this kind of depression off and on for longer then 20 years. There are a few things wrong with me that triggers it. But this time around, it's been going on for almost a year.

I guess you could say I'm frustrated by life it's self. Way back when I decided to become a Christian by giving my life over to Jesus. My goal was to live for Him the best way I can. Try to follow the Bible, and tell others about Jesus. And yet due to a chain of life events I find my life in isolation and working a job that I hate.

On another Christian site, I had people argue with me about my claims of isolation. I hope that doesn't happen here! Anyways, I realize that in this life, there are always people who have it worse then you. And there is always people who have it better then you. I don't think knowing that helps with emotional and physical pain. I really feel sorry for those who have it worse, and I'm always tempted to feel jealousy for those who have it better then I do.

I realize the problems my job is causing me. Wrecking my feet, and keeping me from fellowship with other believers, friends, or having a girlfriend, getting married, and even reaching others for Jesus! And yet I continue to work this job because of a chain of events that kinda put me in it. Some of those same problems also prevent me from quitting. This tends to drive me into feelings of hopelessness. And then comes the flood of sinful thoughts, as Satan takes his opportunity to attack. It always makes me wonder why God allowed all of this to happen. I would think He would want me to be in contact with others, so that I could either grow closer to Him through fellowship with other Believers. Or to be around people that I could witness too. But it seems like He choose to put me into isolation for 20 years and counting...

I don't know how to explain you all the details you would need to know before asking for advice. I would imagine that would take me a long time to compose such a message. But I think I should haft too, since this is a prayer thread. God understands what is going on better then I can explain it. He's already got all the details. None the less, I would like you guys to pray for me... I don't really care, in what way you want to pray. My suggestion is, just pray however the spirit leads you to pray. I'm really interested in starting a discussion. Because I've had discussions about this before. It never seems to go well, or end well. :'( I guess so many people seem to think they can change things by giving suggestions. Not everything can be fixed that way. Some people seem to think that tough love is the answer. Not everything can be fixed that way either. So this time around, I'm trying to discourage all the ways people have tried to help me in the past. I'm very convinced that only God can solve this problem. Only He can change the direction that my life is going in. I'm sure that if I try to do anything to fix things, it's only going to make things worse. And that is provided that I can do anything at all. As I look things over from an human perspective, I can't see how I can do anything to improve things. Most suggestions I got in the in the past are all suggestions that I would tell a "normal" person to do. NOT someone who has my kind of issues mixed with my current job situation. That is what I think people need to understand. There are a Mixture of issues going on... Many of them need to be fixed before things can be changed. Most of them need to be fixed all at once! In "normal" situations, people fix things one at a time. Where as I need a bunch of things fixed all at once.
Hello brother and welcome here, many do not have empathy or sympathy for issues concerning depression as we always hear the same things over and over like "you just don't have enough faith" Or, you are feeling sorry for yourself or you MUST have some kind of ongoing sin in your life" And other pat "answers".
I too have been in deep depression for over 20 years myself and most is because of accidents in the mid 80's that has more than caught up to me hence, inability to do much of anything! I have been trying to find a local body of believers I can worship, grow and learn with but, I also have social issues because of so much isolation, especially since Covid. My prayer for you is that you will find His joy in the midst of your sorrows, that you WILL be delivered from these other issues with your job so that you will be freed up to find friendship. It is so difficult to find our places in this world when so much is coming at us. It is hard to go it alone brother and my hope is restored joy, deliverance, and that God will bring good Christians across your path to be there for you.
God bless and keep you, He's not done yet! :)
 

Angelina

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I've been having depression for many months. This bought of depression started about a year ago. There was an event at work, that started it. But I've been dealing this kind of depression off and on for longer then 20 years. There are a few things wrong with me that triggers it. But this time around, it's been going on for almost a year.

I guess you could say I'm frustrated by life it's self. Way back when I decided to become a Christian by giving my life over to Jesus. My goal was to live for Him the best way I can. Try to follow the Bible, and tell others about Jesus. And yet due to a chain of life events I find my life in isolation and working a job that I hate.

On another Christian site, I had people argue with me about my claims of isolation. I hope that doesn't happen here! Anyways, I realize that in this life, there are always people who have it worse then you. And there is always people who have it better then you. I don't think knowing that helps with emotional and physical pain. I really feel sorry for those who have it worse, and I'm always tempted to feel jealousy for those who have it better then I do.

I realize the problems my job is causing me. Wrecking my feet, and keeping me from fellowship with other believers, friends, or having a girlfriend, getting married, and even reaching others for Jesus! And yet I continue to work this job because of a chain of events that kinda put me in it. Some of those same problems also prevent me from quitting. This tends to drive me into feelings of hopelessness. And then comes the flood of sinful thoughts, as Satan takes his opportunity to attack. It always makes me wonder why God allowed all of this to happen. I would think He would want me to be in contact with others, so that I could either grow closer to Him through fellowship with other Believers. Or to be around people that I could witness too. But it seems like He choose to put me into isolation for 20 years and counting...

I don't know how to explain you all the details you would need to know before asking for advice. I would imagine that would take me a long time to compose such a message. But I think I should haft too, since this is a prayer thread. God understands what is going on better then I can explain it. He's already got all the details. None the less, I would like you guys to pray for me... I don't really care, in what way you want to pray. My suggestion is, just pray however the spirit leads you to pray. I'm really interested in starting a discussion. Because I've had discussions about this before. It never seems to go well, or end well. :'( I guess so many people seem to think they can change things by giving suggestions. Not everything can be fixed that way. Some people seem to think that tough love is the answer. Not everything can be fixed that way either. So this time around, I'm trying to discourage all the ways people have tried to help me in the past. I'm very convinced that only God can solve this problem. Only He can change the direction that my life is going in. I'm sure that if I try to do anything to fix things, it's only going to make things worse. And that is provided that I can do anything at all. As I look things over from an human perspective, I can't see how I can do anything to improve things. Most suggestions I got in the in the past are all suggestions that I would tell a "normal" person to do. NOT someone who has my kind of issues mixed with my current job situation. That is what I think people need to understand. There are a Mixture of issues going on... Many of them need to be fixed before things can be changed. Most of them need to be fixed all at once! In "normal" situations, people fix things one at a time. Where as I need a bunch of things fixed all at once.
The amount of times I have been in situations which were hopeless are insumountable. The key to breakthrough is prayer. Pray! Instead of seeing the odds stacked up agaist you like a mountain. See God in front of you who laid mountains bare and made mountains into flat lands. See the hope that any one of us actually has in this life. God who can destroy mountains and prayer that opens up communication between you and God who can change everything in a twinkling of an eye. Pray! :pray: Prayer can change the course of history! Glory!
 

Behold

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That is what I think people need to understand. There are a Mixture of issues going on... Many of them need to be fixed before things can be changed. Most of them need to be fixed all at once! In "normal" situations, people fix things one at a time. Where as I need a bunch of things fixed all at once.

Depression is based on and maintained by lack of Hope and Peace.
When you have some lack of hope and peace, you are somewhat depressed.
When you have no hope and no peace, you are depressed.

Hope and Peace, are twins.
When you have no hope, you have no peace.
When you have no peace, you have no hope.

And who is it that has no peace and no hope?
Its everyone who is trying to find this in the world, by the world, as being a part of the world.

Understand, if you want hope and peace, you will not ever find it in the world. Not by money, not by relationships, not by fame or fortune, sex or drugs, as all those just become to you, more to deal with , and more to deal with...... and more and more to deal with.
So, stop looking for hope and peace and comfort and a better tomorrow, in the world. ....as, its not in a job. Its not in a new plan. Its not right outside your window or down the street.

Peace and Hope come from God.
Comfort and INNER REST come from God, only.

Jesus said. """come to me when you are so tired, so depressed, so sad, so broken hearted, so sick of it all, and I will give you REST"

If you do that, He will.
He just told you so.

How do you do that, AlwaysonaJourney?
Just like you are doing what you are doing here.
You are seeking a real solution, and that is good, but you have to seek it where the peace and hope and rest and the final answer, exists.
Go to Jesus.
Take your hurt, your frustration, your pain, your disappointments, your broken heart, your anger......take all of this burden to JESUS, and let Him help you.
He will, as He is the only Answer. He is the only Peace.. He is the only Hope.
 

Wynona

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Hello AlwaysOnAJourney. I hope we can be like a family to you. I know online interaction isn't the same as personal interaction. But the prayers I pray will be real.



Father, I pray you would have your way in this person's life. Give him a vision, a hope, and an expected end.

I pray that you would break the depression. I ask that you give opportunities and ideas and open doors so he can live in community.

I pray that you restore a sense of hope and purpose in his life. Give him a sense of expectancy as he waits on You. If he's angry at you, help him to work through that.

Lord, I pray that we as an online community would be a positive and encouraging part of his life.

Lord, finally I ask that you redeem the suffering he's gone through so that it becomes the very thing that strengthens his testimony and blesses others.

In Jesus' name I pray,

Amen.
 

stunnedbygrace

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I've been having depression for many months. This bought of depression started about a year ago. There was an event at work, that started it. But I've been dealing this kind of depression off and on for longer then 20 years. There are a few things wrong with me that triggers it. But this time around, it's been going on for almost a year.

I guess you could say I'm frustrated by life it's self. Way back when I decided to become a Christian by giving my life over to Jesus. My goal was to live for Him the best way I can. Try to follow the Bible, and tell others about Jesus. And yet due to a chain of life events I find my life in isolation and working a job that I hate.

On another Christian site, I had people argue with me about my claims of isolation. I hope that doesn't happen here! Anyways, I realize that in this life, there are always people who have it worse then you. And there is always people who have it better then you. I don't think knowing that helps with emotional and physical pain. I really feel sorry for those who have it worse, and I'm always tempted to feel jealousy for those who have it better then I do.

I realize the problems my job is causing me. Wrecking my feet, and keeping me from fellowship with other believers, friends, or having a girlfriend, getting married, and even reaching others for Jesus! And yet I continue to work this job because of a chain of events that kinda put me in it. Some of those same problems also prevent me from quitting. This tends to drive me into feelings of hopelessness. And then comes the flood of sinful thoughts, as Satan takes his opportunity to attack. It always makes me wonder why God allowed all of this to happen. I would think He would want me to be in contact with others, so that I could either grow closer to Him through fellowship with other Believers. Or to be around people that I could witness too. But it seems like He choose to put me into isolation for 20 years and counting...

I don't know how to explain you all the details you would need to know before asking for advice. I would imagine that would take me a long time to compose such a message. But I think I should haft too, since this is a prayer thread. God understands what is going on better then I can explain it. He's already got all the details. None the less, I would like you guys to pray for me... I don't really care, in what way you want to pray. My suggestion is, just pray however the spirit leads you to pray. I'm really interested in starting a discussion. Because I've had discussions about this before. It never seems to go well, or end well. :'( I guess so many people seem to think they can change things by giving suggestions. Not everything can be fixed that way. Some people seem to think that tough love is the answer. Not everything can be fixed that way either. So this time around, I'm trying to discourage all the ways people have tried to help me in the past. I'm very convinced that only God can solve this problem. Only He can change the direction that my life is going in. I'm sure that if I try to do anything to fix things, it's only going to make things worse. And that is provided that I can do anything at all. As I look things over from an human perspective, I can't see how I can do anything to improve things. Most suggestions I got in the in the past are all suggestions that I would tell a "normal" person to do. NOT someone who has my kind of issues mixed with my current job situation. That is what I think people need to understand. There are a Mixture of issues going on... Many of them need to be fixed before things can be changed. Most of them need to be fixed all at once! In "normal" situations, people fix things one at a time. Where as I need a bunch of things fixed all at once.

Gosh. I’ve read every single one of your posts and I connect really deeply with a lot of what you wrote. The one big difference though is that I actually choose isolation most of the time. But I do it because I’m socially awkward because I can’t pick up real easily on social cues. They just aren’t explicit enough for me to understand them or to understand what it is people are trying to get me to see or what they’re trying to get me to do. It all seems like a silly game to me and I used to labor in it but now I just don’t care to figure it all out any more. If someone wants me to do something, they have to plainly express it or I just don’t even try to figure out what on earth they’re on about. You’ll think I’m nuts but your job would be a dream job for me since I don’t like to be around people that much if I don’t have to. I stopped looking to people for some sort of acceptance or inclusion quite awhile ago. And I actually like being alone because it’s peaceful rather than anxious.
But other than that difference, I connected with what you’ve posted. I also get lost easily when driving and have no sense of direction. I also have something messed up in my brains wiring where I get things backwards a lot, maybe some bit of dyslexia I guess?
I also have had bouts of depression over the circumstances I found myself in. Not so much any more, but my last bout of it was for over 15 years, just a low grade kind of depression and exhaustion. I didn’t begin to come out of it until I began to accept that God Himself put me in the exact place and the exact circumstances that He wanted me in. So I just started trusting Him more and accepting that He knew what He was doing, that He was guiding my steps, and that He was doing what would be best for me. I stopped trying to fight my circumstances, stopped trying to change them, stopped being so mad at God. I also began to accept that people are how they are and can’t help it any more than I can. I no longer try to fit in or figure out the whole social cues and not saying what you really mean thing. I no longer look to any person or people for acceptance. And it’s peaceful and I’m no longer depressed.
I hope you find peace in this broken and temporary world that seems like the mad hatters tea party.
 
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Nancy

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Gosh. I’ve read every single one of your posts and I connect really deeply with a lot of what you wrote. The one big difference though is that I actually choose isolation most of the time. But I do it because I’m socially awkward because I can’t pick up real easily on social cues. They just aren’t explicit enough for me to understand them or to understand what it is people are trying to get me to see or what they’re trying to get me to do. It all seems like a silly game to me and I used to labor in it but now I just don’t care to figure it all out any more. If someone wants me to do something, they have to plainly express it or I just don’t even try to figure out what on earth they’re on about. You’ll think I’m nuts but your job would be a dream job for me since I don’t like to be around people that much if I don’t have to. I stopped looking to people for some sort of acceptance or inclusion quite awhile ago. And I actually like being alone because it’s peaceful rather than anxious.
But other than that difference, I connected with what you’ve posted. I also get lost easily when driving and have no sense of direction. I also have something messed up in my brains wiring where I get things backwards a lot, maybe some bit of dyslexia I guess?
I also have had bouts of depression over the circumstances I found myself in. Not so much any more, but my last bout of it was for over 15 years, just a low grade kind of depression and exhaustion. I didn’t begin to come out of it until I began to accept that God Himself put me in the exact place and the exact circumstances that He wanted me in. So I just started trusting Him more and accepting that He knew what He was doing, that He was guiding my steps, and that He was doing what would be best for me. I stopped trying to fight my circumstances, stopped trying to change them, stopped being so mad at God. I also began to accept that people are how they are and can’t help it any more than I can. I no longer try to fit in or figure out the whole social cues and not saying what you really mean thing. I no longer look to any person or people for acceptance. And it’s peaceful and I’m no longer depressed.
I hope you find peace in this broken and temporary world that seems like the mad hatters tea party.
Funny how I just "happened" upon this post...what we were exactly touching on just about an hour ago??! Ha, confirmation IMHO. I needed to hear it again!