Disability and severe anxiety during church events has made it hard for me to make connections

[TinyChristian99]

Recently I [21f] started going to Church (I grew up in the church but once I moved away from home and started living alone, I drifted). I have been going to a college-age group (of about 40 people) every Monday for about two months, and while everyone is nice, I really struggle when I’m there.

I have pretty bad social anxiety, along with a bit of a stutter and high functioning autism (people always say “I never realized you were autistic I just thought you were kinda quirky or weird” but I struggle a lot with social skills and hypersensitivity and other autism traits)

If someone asks me a question, I’ll answer it as briefly as I can and then generally clam up after. The thought of forcing myself to speak to people literally makes me feel dizzy and like there is immense pressure in my head. Last time I was there, we were all just watching a movie in one of the conference rooms and even though no one was talking, my hands were still shaking and I felt very anxious. I usually spend most of my time standing or sitting with whatever group of people I find myself in and just not talking even tho I really want to connect with people.

I don’t have any friends, and I really really want friends, Christian friends, and people who I know and can fellowship with at my church. That’s why I still show up despite the intense anxiety it gives me.

But I feel like I’ll never be able to get to the point where I can find community because of my conditions.

 

[prism]

Recently I [21f] started going to Church (I grew up in the church but once I moved away from home and started living alone, I drifted). I have been going to a college-age group (of about 40 people) every Monday for about two months, and while everyone is nice, I really struggle when I’m there.

I have pretty bad social anxiety, along with a bit of a stutter and high functioning autism (people always say “I never realized you were autistic I just thought you were kinda quirky or weird” but I struggle a lot with social skills and hypersensitivity and other autism traits)

If someone asks me a question, I’ll answer it as briefly as I can and then generally clam up after. The thought of forcing myself to speak to people literally makes me feel dizzy and like there is immense pressure in my head. Last time I was there, we were all just watching a movie in one of the conference rooms and even though no one was talking, my hands were still shaking and I felt very anxious. I usually spend most of my time standing or sitting with whatever group of people I find myself in and just not talking even tho I really want to connect with people.

I don’t have any friends, and I really really want friends, Christian friends, and people who I know and can fellowship with at my church. That’s why I still show up despite the intense anxiety it gives me.

But I feel like I’ll never be able to get to the point where I can find community because of my conditions.

Hi TC 99, I have a pretty bad stuttering problem, and may have autism (I'll have to wait until they are sure what it is before I find out. lol).
In any case, God is made strong in our weaknesses as we look to Jesus in our difficulty, whatever it may be.

So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2Co 12:7-10)