Hello everyone. I'm new to the site. I wasn't entirely sure in which category I should put this but I think that this was the best fit. I wanted to get some Christian advice and some help in a certain situation.
My parents have been together for a long time, but had had of issues in the past with their relationship and life in general. However, it seems as if they are dealing with some scars, that have been frequently reemerging quite recently. My dad had seemed to get into this mode where he keeps making a big issue out of every small thing that my mum does. He always starts these huge arguments with my mum, and then blames my mum off of these small things.
He goes around saying "seek peace and pursue it", yet any small thing, he gets angry over. He knows the Word of God very well and knows that we're meant to subdue our flesh daily, bridle our tongues, walk in peace and love, not let emotions guide our actions, and be angry and sin not, but he always tries to justify himself talking about the time where Jesus had righteous anger, and drove those people out His Father's house with whips because they were turning His Father's house into a den of theives. But in James 1:20 it says that human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.
It seems to be one rule for him and another rule for others. When one person acts in an offish way, he comes down heavily on them, but when he does it, he tries to justify his actions and twist it to make it look like he was valid in losing his temper. When bad things he's done in the past is brought up, he tries to play victim as he wants to get sympathy because he was going through a tough time (which my mum completely understands), but when it's with what my mum had done in the past he tries to act like she was just behaving badly and there's no empathy towards her. He also tries to act as if he's the only one that's been through tough situations, and how he was acting at a certain time had no effect on my mum, my siblings and I.
He never used to be like this, it's been a couple of months now. I do my best not to harbour any grudges and negative emotions towards him as the Word teaches that it's good to let go of grudges, and I try my best to foster a loving relationship between me and him, but it breaks my heart to see him behaving this way almost everyday. It sometimes seems like he's taking me not harbouring any grudges towards him as "yeah she's doesn't have a problem with the way I'm behaving".
Every time he causes a big unnecessary blow up, he always stops the situation and says to my mum "this is so carnal, let's stop and pray" which is good. They do pray and the situation is temporarily defused, but then he walks around saying "look how God used me to defuse the situation" when a lot of the time he starts it.
I've tried to encourage him to walk in the love of Jesus and things like that, but either tries to convince me that his behaviour is justified or says "yeah that's true" but doesn't change much.
Now I'm most definitely not trying to be judgemental, I'll be first to admit that I'm a filthy, rotten sinner, in need of God's grace and mercy, and crucifying my flesh every day isn't easy, but my dad's behaviour is affecting people in the house.
My dad isn't a bad person, and I do love him but it's hard when he gets in those modes. It only recently started happening as well. Prayers and suggestions on how to biblically and effectively deal with this situation would be much appreciated. God bless all of my brothers and sisters in Christ
My parents have been together for a long time, but had had of issues in the past with their relationship and life in general. However, it seems as if they are dealing with some scars, that have been frequently reemerging quite recently. My dad had seemed to get into this mode where he keeps making a big issue out of every small thing that my mum does. He always starts these huge arguments with my mum, and then blames my mum off of these small things.
He goes around saying "seek peace and pursue it", yet any small thing, he gets angry over. He knows the Word of God very well and knows that we're meant to subdue our flesh daily, bridle our tongues, walk in peace and love, not let emotions guide our actions, and be angry and sin not, but he always tries to justify himself talking about the time where Jesus had righteous anger, and drove those people out His Father's house with whips because they were turning His Father's house into a den of theives. But in James 1:20 it says that human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.
It seems to be one rule for him and another rule for others. When one person acts in an offish way, he comes down heavily on them, but when he does it, he tries to justify his actions and twist it to make it look like he was valid in losing his temper. When bad things he's done in the past is brought up, he tries to play victim as he wants to get sympathy because he was going through a tough time (which my mum completely understands), but when it's with what my mum had done in the past he tries to act like she was just behaving badly and there's no empathy towards her. He also tries to act as if he's the only one that's been through tough situations, and how he was acting at a certain time had no effect on my mum, my siblings and I.
He never used to be like this, it's been a couple of months now. I do my best not to harbour any grudges and negative emotions towards him as the Word teaches that it's good to let go of grudges, and I try my best to foster a loving relationship between me and him, but it breaks my heart to see him behaving this way almost everyday. It sometimes seems like he's taking me not harbouring any grudges towards him as "yeah she's doesn't have a problem with the way I'm behaving".
Every time he causes a big unnecessary blow up, he always stops the situation and says to my mum "this is so carnal, let's stop and pray" which is good. They do pray and the situation is temporarily defused, but then he walks around saying "look how God used me to defuse the situation" when a lot of the time he starts it.
I've tried to encourage him to walk in the love of Jesus and things like that, but either tries to convince me that his behaviour is justified or says "yeah that's true" but doesn't change much.
Now I'm most definitely not trying to be judgemental, I'll be first to admit that I'm a filthy, rotten sinner, in need of God's grace and mercy, and crucifying my flesh every day isn't easy, but my dad's behaviour is affecting people in the house.
My dad isn't a bad person, and I do love him but it's hard when he gets in those modes. It only recently started happening as well. Prayers and suggestions on how to biblically and effectively deal with this situation would be much appreciated. God bless all of my brothers and sisters in Christ
