FORGIVENESS

[Pearl]

I have discovered that so many of the problems some Christians have is caused by unforgiveness. At some time in their past they have been hurt by other people and that hurt is so big that it has taken over much of their lives. They unwittingly hold on to the hurt and anger and swear to themselves that they will never forgive the person or persons responsible. I have come across this issue many times particularly with those like the ones I have talked about in a previous post who just go 'round and round'.

This unforgiveness, which is understandable, holds them back from moving forwards both in their real lives and in their Christian walk with God. They tend to get comfortable holding on to the hurt and unforgiveness and find it hard to let go. But the truth is once they have let go and made the decision to let go of the resentment, anger and bitterness the Holy spirit will help them take the necessary steps towards full forgiveness.

If you want God to be merciful to you; you must be merciful to others.

Matthew 6:15
But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Four steps to forgiveness.

1 – Say it. To forgive you must first of all say it, even if you say it with gritted teeth and you don’t mean it.

2 – Mean it. Then you must ask God to give you the grace to mean it. It may take a long time but be committed to it and keep saying it until you really do mean it.

3 – Feel it. After a while you will begin to feel it , impossible as that may sound.

4 – Forget it. And in time with God’s help you can forget it and be free.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean the guilty are not guilty.

Say it on a daily basis – “I forgive him, I forgive him, I forgive him” – until you actually want it to happen. And in order to forgive first of all we need to pray about it and receive God’s grace..

Say it until you mean it. The pain of the hurts may get worse as the memories open up again, so be prepared for this to happen. But in time you will begin to feel the forgiveness in your heart.

Forgiving is good for us and we will start to feel better and will no longer be a victim but a victor.

To experience God’s forgiveness we must first forgive others. When we live in the benefit of God’s forgiveness good things happen to us and we begin to feel free. We start to live in the future instead of the past and we get our futures back.

 

[Rita]

I think forgiveness is often misunderstood. You know the old saying ‘ forgive and forget ‘ It can lay a false foundation that when you forgive someone you have to forget what’s happened. You always have scars, from my own experiences I have scars but no longer any pain. So the scars become testimony and reminders to what God has helped you move on from. I think I have shared before that when The Lord laid it on my heart to forgive my ex for everything I was so angry, I distinctly remember questioning it. ‘ you want me to do what !!!!! ‘ I was reading a book on forgiveness at the time when the prompt came, I chucked the book across the room !!
Eventually I was obedient, but I sulked for quite awhile ! Lol
It definitely is a process, and not an easy one at times, but definitely worthwhile xx

 

[April_Rose]

That's the thing. Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting or condoning what the person or persons have done to you,.. it just means letting go of all the hate and anger inside of you. Now since Jesus never hated anybody, for Him it just meant letting go of the anger since He did get angry when it was justified.

 

[Riverwalker]

Forgetting is most important. Moving on, don't let it me an anchor

 

[Riverwalker]

That's the thing. Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting or condoning what the person or persons have done to you,.. it just means letting go of all the hate and anger inside of you

BIZACTLY!
It is foregoing of your right for justice and giving it to God

Forgiving someone doesn't mean pretending they didn't hurt you and it does not mean you have to let them back in to take another bite of you

 

[marks]

I heard something once, "Hurt people hurt people".

My wife and I, we've learned how to forgive. It starts the moment someone starts saying or doing something inappropriate, or hurtful, or whatever it is. We've committed ourselves to our love for each other. And we both know that we both have big problems, and sometimes that leads to things getting out of hand. My mouth gets away from me! My tone and my mood can quickly deteriorate. One little misunderstanding can set off fireworks!

When she says something, does something, I've already determined that I'm not going to stop loving her. We've already accepted that we have issues. So I know the current storm will pass, and we just try to care for each other so we can get all settled back down again.

Some things won't pass, and there are things about us that will likely continue to crop up, though less so as the years go by.

We know we love each other, even though we're not perfect. So whatever is less than love, less than perfect, we just want to forget about it as quickly as we can, so that we can get on with the good stuff.

Some things don't work, some things are wrong, but I love you, and I've already chosen to forgive you. So forgiveness in action is to not hold against you the very wrong thing you are doing to me right now.

"Father forgive them", AS they were in the process of murdering Him.

Rather than hold a grudge, I want to hold a recognition of how to avoid the same thing over again. I want to hold a recognition of how I can improve a situation, bring someone back from the edge, bring myself back from the edge.

Great topic! And some great posts!

Much love!

 

[Nancy]

I think forgiveness is often misunderstood. You know the old saying ‘ forgive and forget ‘ It can lay a false foundation that when you forgive someone you have to forget what’s happened. You always have scars, from my own experiences I have scars but no longer any pain. So the scars become testimony and reminders to what God has helped you move on from. I think I have shared before that when The Lord laid it on my heart to forgive my ex for everything I was so angry, I distinctly remember questioning it. ‘ you want me to do what !!!!! ‘ I was reading a book on forgiveness at the time when the prompt came, I chucked the book across the room !!
Eventually I was obedient, but I sulked for quite awhile ! Lol
It definitely is a process, and not an easy one at times, but definitely worthwhile xx

You went back to Reet's! lol... (Rita)
Forgiveness...hmm. There are three people who came into my life over the last decade...every one of them claiming Christianity. Never have I been as hurt or as angry as I became with them. Used me, stole big time from me, left messes, ruined rugs, on and on. God taught me a HUGE lesson here...discernment. Many good deeds from the heart can be misdirected I believe. For instance, I know this very generous Christian man who will do anything for anybody but, he does not seem to have the discernment he should have. He gives lot's of money into the hands of the "posers" in the church, over and over again but won't hear that this or that person is using drugs.
When we put our hearts out there, we are taking a chance that it will be broken so, this gal is mighty discerning with who I will have live under my roof. It has taken me a very long time to actually "feel" the forgiveness but, I say it anyhow. Their "fruit" was rotten, I got taken 3 times. Three times a charm they say, lol so...I am pleased as punch that I have my lovely niece staying with me now.
There is still some residue from the last one as she was the worst, we went to the same church and she had all of them fooled, all of them. She has not grown one iota and has her hand out all the time, never prayed with me, never studied the bible with me, never helped me, not even one time when I had foot surgery that had me off my one foot for 10 weeks. That was one horrible summer! Yes, I'm sure my residual displeasure with this one is showing Though, I DO pray to "feel" it. Not to mention, these folks would never own up to the things they did and all the lies so, forgiveness will have to be without them present. I HATE that I cannot find love feelings for her yet, I ask God for this, haven't in a while as she does not come to mind as much but, when she does, the feelings all come up again so I must shut my mind off immediately. It all comes out in the wash!
In His Name!
nancy

 

[Pearl]

That's the thing. Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting or condoning what the person or persons have done to you,.. it just means letting go of all the hate and anger inside of you. Now since Jesus never hated anybody, for Him it just meant letting go of the anger since He did get angry when it was justified.

You're so right @April_Rose because all the hate inside a person harms them more than the person it's directed at. But we need the Holy Spirit to help us let go of past hurts and hate and to help us to forgive what often must seem like the impossible. Corrie Ten Boom's family suffered such atrocities at the hands of the Nazis in the German concentration camps, but years later she was able to look one of her prison camp guards in the eye and know she had completely forgiven him. Have you read any of her books?

 

[April_Rose]

You're so right @April_Rose because all the hate inside a person harms them more than the person it's directed at. But we need the Holy Spirit to help us let go of past hurts and hate and to help us to forgive what often must seem like the impossible. Corrie Ten Boom's family suffered such atrocities at the hands of the Nazis in the German concentration camps, but years later she was able to look one of her prison camp guards in the eye and know she had completely forgiven him. Have you read any of her books?

No, but I prefer fiction over non-fiction with the exception of the Bible.

 

[Pearl]

No, but I prefer fiction over non-fiction with the exception of the Bible.

Don't you like to read testimonies?

 

[Truman]

Forgiveness is not an option.

 

[April_Rose]

Don't you like to read testimonies?

On the forum yes (although I don't go to that particular forum very much) but in a book no not really...

 

[Pearl]

On the forum yes (although I don't go to that particular forum very much) but in a book no not really...

I used to love reading Christian testimonies. The first one ever was, 'The Hiding Place' by Corrie Ten Boom. And then our vicar took us to see the film. And over the years I've read many more and learned such a lot. There is a wealth of precious experiences and wisdom in Christian books whether testimonies or teaching books. I'm reading one about the deeper meaning of the parables just now. I still need that input to keep growing. As well as the bible of course. Some of the most important things I've learned have come from Christian books. Which I consider to be an extension of the book of Acts.

 

[Truman]

While I like watching all testimonies on You Tube, my favorites are One For Israel.
I just find it so amazing that Jews come to Christ. It just never gets old for me.

 

[Pearl]

While I like watching all testimonies on You Tube, my favorites are One For Israel.
I just find it so amazing that Jews come to Christ. It just never gets old for me.

A few years ago when we had the 'God' channel we used to love to watch 'A Muslim Journey to Hope'. They are well worth watching if you can find them. Very low key and not preachy but such stories . . .

 

[Truman]

I also love to see Muslims come to Christ. When you see that happen, you know it's not cultural.

 

[David H.]

This unforgiveness, which is understandable, holds them back from moving forwards both in their real lives and in their Christian walk with God. They tend to get comfortable holding on to the hurt and unforgiveness and find it hard to let go. But the truth is once they have let go and made the decision to let go of the resentment, anger and bitterness the Holy spirit will help them take the necessary steps towards full forgiveness.

 

[Truman]

Amen!

 

[Ronald David Bruno]

I have discovered that so many of the problems some Christians have is caused by unforgiveness. At some time in their past they have been hurt by other people and that hurt is so big that it has taken over much of their lives. They unwittingly hold on to the hurt and anger and swear to themselves that they will never forgive the person or persons responsible. I have come across this issue many times particularly with those like the ones I have talked about in a previous post who just go 'round and round'.

This unforgiveness, which is understandable, holds them back from moving forwards both in their real lives and in their Christian walk with God. They tend to get comfortable holding on to the hurt and unforgiveness and find it hard to let go. But the truth is once they have let go and made the decision to let go of the resentment, anger and bitterness the Holy spirit will help them take the necessary steps towards full forgiveness.

If you want God to be merciful to you; you must be merciful to others.

Matthew 6:15
But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Four steps to forgiveness.

1 – Say it. To forgive you must first of all say it, even if you say it with gritted teeth and you don’t mean it.

2 – Mean it. Then you must ask God to give you the grace to mean it. It may take a long time but be committed to it and keep saying it until you really do mean it.

3 – Feel it. After a while you will begin to feel it , impossible as that may sound.

4 – Forget it. And in time with God’s help you can forget it and be free.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean the guilty are not guilty.

Say it on a daily basis – “I forgive him, I forgive him, I forgive him” – until you actually want it to happen. And in order to forgive first of all we need to pray about it and receive God’s grace..

Say it until you mean it. The pain of the hurts may get worse as the memories open up again, so be prepared for this to happen. But in time you will begin to feel the forgiveness in your heart.

Forgiving is good for us and we will start to feel better and will no longer be a victim but a victor.

To experience God’s forgiveness we must first forgive others. When we live in the benefit of God’s forgiveness good things happen to us and we begin to feel free. We start to live in the future instead of the past and we get our futures back.

Excellent post and very crucial in our lives. If we don't forgive others, God won't forgive us. I would include that story told about the master who had a servant who forgave him his debts. But then that servant didn't forgive debts owed to him. I forgot that scripture.?
When I was younger, I held grudges. Even after I became a Christian, I struggled with the concept of forgiveness. I agreed with it only on the basis that someone had to ask for it. I thought if God doesn't forgive us until we ask, so why should I? I learned that it wasn't necessary for others to ask. We needed to do it, not so much that it released them (because they might not care anyways), but it was for us to be healed. Wow, it works, that negative energy that you hold in vanishes. Then you actually sweep hot coals over their heads, its on them, not you anymore. Forgiveness is for our spiritual health - I like that, its much easier now. Hey, some people remain jerks all their lives, we can't let them get the best of us. We learn to turn the cheek easier when an insult comes.

 

[amadeus]

... There is a wealth of precious experiences and wisdom in Christian books whether testimonies or teaching books. I'm reading one about the deeper meaning of the parables just now. I still need that input to keep growing. As well as the bible of course. Some of the most important things I've learned have come from Christian books. Which I consider to be an extension of the book of Acts.

Amen! We are still acting today as the Lord directs us... or we should be... I saved this thought similar to yours to my computer several years ago from what I wrote on another forum:

Whether I received this thought through another or it was something the Lord gave me directly I cannot recall, but it relates to the "Acts of the Apostles" (the Book of Acts). What I have written in one of my Bibles is a cross reference to the following verse, which you may see by reading it:

"One generation shall praise thy works to another, and shall declare thy mighty acts." Psalm 145:4

My thought is that what is written in the Book of Acts is unfinished. The Acts of people following and obeying God, especially since the outpouring of the Holy Ghost (Acts 2) continues. One generation apparently enacted the things written in that book, but since then others throughout the entire 2000 year period have continued "acting" out new things as they have followed and obeyed God.

John wrote the following words about Jesus... "And there are also many other things which Jesus did, the which, if they should be written every one, I suppose that even the world itself could not contain the books that should be written. Amen" John 21:25... but people of God continue to LIVE a LIVING Book of Acts. Those people could or should include you and me and every person on this forum and/or on Praise Him as well. The Book of the Acts of the Apostles... and other people of God... continues to be written by the lives of those who continue to do His work

The Holy Ghost works in all of God's people His wonders to perform!