Forgiveness

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Jerry R

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A great deal of therapeutic effort goes into struggling with anger and resentment, because this “unfinished business” causes so much difficulty–both for the person who has it and for other family members, friends, and associates. All of us can think of people who spend much of their time preoccupied with old hurts and injuries, interfering with their ongoing relationships and preventing them from getting on with their lives. How often have you wished that there were a quick and easy way to give up this preoccupation with the dead past and refocus on present and future living? Forgiving others (or yourself) does not mean condoning the behavior that harmed you (or someone else), or giving up the values that were violated. An important part of the pattern is to reaffirm your own values and criteria and use them to develop ways of coping resourcefully. The resolution and integration that forgiveness brings will make it easier to take effective action to uphold your values and standards in the future.

Objections have to do with the meaning of forgiveness to the one who needs to forgive.

1. “If I forgave her/him, that would mean something about me–that I'm a wimp, that I condone what she/he did to me.”
Can you see that far from being a wimp, your forgiving them would mean that you have accomplished a change that takes great courage, compassion and understanding–one that only a few human beings are capable of.

2. “The other person doesn't deserve forgiveness.”
Perhaps not. But forgiveness is not for them, it's for you, so that you can live in your body with more comfort and congruence. Forgiveness is so that you don't have to continue to be burdened by angry feelings, preoccupied with obsessive thoughts about revenge, etc.

3. “I need to get even first.”
What would getting even do for you? Often people say that they feel personally diminished by the harm that was done to them, and that getting even would help them feel powerful and good about themselves again. I want you to feel powerful and good about yourself, and I'd like to offer you other ways of doing this. For instance, I'd like you to learn how to cope effectively with possible repetitions of this kind of behavior, so that you feel safe and strong in knowing what you can do to prevent a recurrence.

4. “Anger makes me feel powerful; I don't want to give it up.”
Yes, there is a certain feeling of power in feeling angry, in being courageous and willing to stand up for yourself and your values. But usually there is also a sense of lack of choice in having to be angry and having to be preoccupied with thoughts of that person who harmed you. When someone says, “He made me angry,” what they are really saying is, “He can control my feelings; I have no choice but to get angry.” I'd like to offer you more choices, so that you can be the one in control of your feelings and behavior, and stand up for yourself even more powerfully.

5. “I refuse to forgive and forget.”
I agree with you completely. I don't want you to forgive and forget. If you forgot, then you'd be completely vulnerable to a repetition of the harm that was done to you. I want you to forgive and remember. I want you to remember so that you are protected against possible recurrences, and to remember in a way that provides you with feelings of strength, choice, and resourcefulness, instead of being provoked into choice less anger.

6. “If I forgave them, then they'd think what they did didn't matter and they could feel comfortable doing it again.”
So you want him to know how terrible it was for you, and so that he won't do it again. I think that it is important for you to communicate that to him. I don't know about you, but I find that when I'm angry I don't communicate very well. Often the other person gets defensive and doesn't listen, and maybe “blows it off,” thinking “Oh, he's just upset; it doesn't mean anything.” I'd like to help you find ways to really get through to him, and my guess is that will be much easier if you're not angry and upset.

One ex-prisoner of war asked another, “Have you forgiven your captors yet?” The second one replied, “NO, NEVER!” And the other one turned and said, “Then it seems like they still have you in prison, don't they?”

“One man spent eighteen years in Chinese prison and labor camps. In the early '80s they allowed him to come to India. On occasion he and I discussed his experiences in the various Chinese labor camps. And he told me that during those periods, on a few occasions he really faced some danger. I asked what kind of danger, and his response was, 'Oh, danger of losing compassion for the Chinese.' That kind of mental attitude is, I think, a key factor to sustain peace of mind.”

The Dali Lama “If we could read the secret history of those we would like to punish, we would find in each life enough grief and suffering to make us stop wishing anything more on them.” –Source Unknown

Matthew 18:21,22 St. Peter: “Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Till seven times?” Jesus saith unto him, “I say not unto thee until seven times: but until seventy times seven.”

Matthew 6:14 “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you”

Luke 23:34 “Father, forgive them: for they know not what they do.”

Matthew 7:1 “Judge not, and ye shall not be judged”

In Warsaw, in 1939, a man watched as the Nazis machine-gunned hundreds of Jews, including his wife, two daughters, and three sons. “I had to decide right then whether to let myself hate the soldiers who had done this. It was an easy decision, really. I was a lawyer. In my practice I had seen too often what hate could do to people's minds and bodies. Hate had just killed the six people who mattered most to me in the world. I decided then that I would spend the rest of my life–whether it was a few days or many years–loving every person I came in contact with.” –George G. Ritchie, Return from Tomorrow, pp. 115-116
 

Pearl

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I think that forgiveness is a form of love, but the bible tells us that if we seek forgiveness from God then we must forgive others; if you want God to be merciful to you; you must be merciful to others.

I heard a preacher speak on the subject and this is the jist of what he said:

1 – Say it. To forgive you must first of all say it, even if you say it with gritted teeth and you don’t mean it.

2 – Mean it. Then you must ask God to give you the grace to mean it. It may take a long time but be committed to it and keep repeating it until you really do mean it.

3 – Feel it. After a while you will begin to feel it , impossible as that may sound.

4 – Forget it. And in time, with God’s help, you will be able to forget it and be free.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean the guilty are not guilty.

Say it on a daily basis – “I forgive him, I forgive him, I forgive him” – until you actually want it to happen. And in order to forgive first of all we need to pray about it and receive God’s grace..

Say it until you mean it. The pain of the hurts may get worse as the memories open up again, so be prepared for this to happen. But in time you will begin to feel the forgiveness in your heart.

Forgiving is good for us and we will start to feel better and will no longer be a victim but a victor.

To experience God’s forgiveness we must first forgive others. When we live in the benefit of God’s forgiveness good things happen to us and we begin to feel free. We start to live in the future instead of the past and we get our futures back.
 

farouk

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I think that forgiveness is a form of love, but the bible tells us that if we seek forgiveness from God then we must forgive others; if you want God to be merciful to you; you must be merciful to others.

I heard a preacher speak on the subject and this is the jist of what he said:

1 – Say it. To forgive you must first of all say it, even if you say it with gritted teeth and you don’t mean it.

2 – Mean it. Then you must ask God to give you the grace to mean it. It may take a long time but be committed to it and keep repeating it until you really do mean it.

3 – Feel it. After a while you will begin to feel it , impossible as that may sound.

4 – Forget it. And in time, with God’s help, you will be able to forget it and be free.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean the guilty are not guilty.

Say it on a daily basis – “I forgive him, I forgive him, I forgive him” – until you actually want it to happen. And in order to forgive first of all we need to pray about it and receive God’s grace..

Say it until you mean it. The pain of the hurts may get worse as the memories open up again, so be prepared for this to happen. But in time you will begin to feel the forgiveness in your heart.

Forgiving is good for us and we will start to feel better and will no longer be a victim but a victor.

To experience God’s forgiveness we must first forgive others. When we live in the benefit of God’s forgiveness good things happen to us and we begin to feel free. We start to live in the future instead of the past and we get our futures back.
@Pearl Taking the Gospel to ppl is really an act of love, isn't it? some might think we are bothering them when they don't want to be bothered, but really it's an act of love, before the Lord Who offers reconciliation with Him through Christ.
 

GRACE ambassador

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Precious friends, forgiveness, from A Scriptural, Rightly Divided perspective:

Prophecy/Law:

16) Forgive others First, Then God Will Forgive!
(Matthew 6:14-15, 18-35; Mark 11:25-26; Luke 6:37)

Rightly Divided (2 Timothy 2:15 KJB!) From “Things That DIFFER!”:

Mystery/GRACE!:

16) Forgive others Because CHRIST Has Already Forgiven us!

(Ephesians 4:32)

More Rightly Divided "study":
Basic {1-14} and More {15-19} "Distinctions" of Prophecy vs MYSTERY

(2 Timothy 2:15; Romans 16:25; Ephesians 1:3-9; Ephesians 3:9
= Grace/Mystery fellowship, today?)


Please Be Richly Encouraged, Enlightened, Exhorted, and Edified!
God's Simple Will!
 

farouk

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A great deal of therapeutic effort goes into struggling with anger and resentment, because this “unfinished business” causes so much difficulty–both for the person who has it and for other family members, friends, and associates. All of us can think of people who spend much of their time preoccupied with old hurts and injuries, interfering with their ongoing relationships and preventing them from getting on with their lives. How often have you wished that there were a quick and easy way to give up this preoccupation with the dead past and refocus on present and future living? Forgiving others (or yourself) does not mean condoning the behavior that harmed you (or someone else), or giving up the values that were violated. An important part of the pattern is to reaffirm your own values and criteria and use them to develop ways of coping resourcefully. The resolution and integration that forgiveness brings will make it easier to take effective action to uphold your values and standards in the future.

Objections have to do with the meaning of forgiveness to the one who needs to forgive.

1. “If I forgave her/him, that would mean something about me–that I'm a wimp, that I condone what she/he did to me.”
Can you see that far from being a wimp, your forgiving them would mean that you have accomplished a change that takes great courage, compassion and understanding–one that only a few human beings are capable of.

2. “The other person doesn't deserve forgiveness.”
Perhaps not. But forgiveness is not for them, it's for you, so that you can live in your body with more comfort and congruence. Forgiveness is so that you don't have to continue to be burdened by angry feelings, preoccupied with obsessive thoughts about revenge, etc.

3. “I need to get even first.”
What would getting even do for you? Often people say that they feel personally diminished by the harm that was done to them, and that getting even would help them feel powerful and good about themselves again. I want you to feel powerful and good about yourself, and I'd like to offer you other ways of doing this. For instance, I'd like you to learn how to cope effectively with possible repetitions of this kind of behavior, so that you feel safe and strong in knowing what you can do to prevent a recurrence.

4. “Anger makes me feel powerful; I don't want to give it up.”
Yes, there is a certain feeling of power in feeling angry, in being courageous and willing to stand up for yourself and your values. But usually there is also a sense of lack of choice in having to be angry and having to be preoccupied with thoughts of that person who harmed you. When someone says, “He made me angry,” what they are really saying is, “He can control my feelings; I have no choice but to get angry.” I'd like to offer you more choices, so that you can be the one in control of your feelings and behavior, and stand up for yourself even more powerfully.

5. “I refuse to forgive and forget.”
I agree with you completely. I don't want you to forgive and forget. If you forgot, then you'd be completely vulnerable to a repetition of the harm that was done to you. I want you to forgive and remember. I want you to remember so that you are protected against possible recurrences, and to remember in a way that provides you with feelings of strength, choice, and resourcefulness, instead of being provoked into choice less anger.

6. “If I forgave them, then they'd think what they did didn't matter and they could feel comfortable doing it again.”
So you want him to know how terrible it was for you, and so that he won't do it again. I think that it is important for you to communicate that to him. I don't know about you, but I find that when I'm angry I don't communicate very well. Often the other person gets defensive and doesn't listen, and maybe “blows it off,” thinking “Oh, he's just upset; it doesn't mean anything.” I'd like to help you find ways to really get through to him, and my guess is that will be much easier if you're not angry and upset.

One ex-prisoner of war asked another, “Have you forgiven your captors yet?” The second one replied, “NO, NEVER!” And the other one turned and said, “Then it seems like they still have you in prison, don't they?”

“One man spent eighteen years in Chinese prison and labor camps. In the early '80s they allowed him to come to India. On occasion he and I discussed his experiences in the various Chinese labor camps. And he told me that during those periods, on a few occasions he really faced some danger. I asked what kind of danger, and his response was, 'Oh, danger of losing compassion for the Chinese.' That kind of mental attitude is, I think, a key factor to sustain peace of mind.”

The Dali Lama “If we could read the secret history of those we would like to punish, we would find in each life enough grief and suffering to make us stop wishing anything more on them.” –Source Unknown

Matthew 18:21,22 St. Peter: “Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Till seven times?” Jesus saith unto him, “I say not unto thee until seven times: but until seventy times seven.”

Matthew 6:14 “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you”

Luke 23:34 “Father, forgive them: for they know not what they do.”

Matthew 7:1 “Judge not, and ye shall not be judged”

In Warsaw, in 1939, a man watched as the Nazis machine-gunned hundreds of Jews, including his wife, two daughters, and three sons. “I had to decide right then whether to let myself hate the soldiers who had done this. It was an easy decision, really. I was a lawyer. In my practice I had seen too often what hate could do to people's minds and bodies. Hate had just killed the six people who mattered most to me in the world. I decided then that I would spend the rest of my life–whether it was a few days or many years–loving every person I came in contact with.” –George G. Ritchie, Return from Tomorrow, pp. 115-116
@Jerry R The relationship is first and foremost Godward for forgiveness through faith in Christ and His work at the Cross.

Sometimes in history deeply anguished and complex situations have arisen.

Albert Speer was a leading Nazi architect, who spent 20 years in jail after WW2. After he was released, he spent many years talking to students about the mistakes of history, his own general guilt and he gave to Jewish charities. He also struck up a remarkable friendship with Nazi-hunter Simon Wiesenthal.

Such was the magnitude of Nazi crimes that some of their victims still found all his activities, public contrition and bridge-building insufficient.

The former President of Uruguay José Mujica, jailed for years under a civilian-military administration and much later elected President, was asked whether he had forgiven his jailors.

He replied, No, because there is nothing to forgive.

In other words, the imputation of guilt - for various conflicting and obscure reasons - can in some circumstances be a two way matter and the civic ability to move on must also be recognized.

In the end, forgiveness is a Godward matter; He alone sees the heart.
 
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Truman

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Forgiveness is a decision. It is followed by actions taken towards the person I've forgiven, actions that bless and not curse. To love.
Emotions are faulty indicators and are not to be followed, but will follow...eventually.
God expects me to forgive. My old pastor used to say that when one doesn't forgive, the hook is in them.
 
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Nancy

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I think that forgiveness is a form of love, but the bible tells us that if we seek forgiveness from God then we must forgive others; if you want God to be merciful to you; you must be merciful to others.

I heard a preacher speak on the subject and this is the jist of what he said:

1 – Say it. To forgive you must first of all say it, even if you say it with gritted teeth and you don’t mean it.

2 – Mean it. Then you must ask God to give you the grace to mean it. It may take a long time but be committed to it and keep repeating it until you really do mean it.

3 – Feel it. After a while you will begin to feel it , impossible as that may sound.

4 – Forget it. And in time, with God’s help, you will be able to forget it and be free.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean the guilty are not guilty.

Say it on a daily basis – “I forgive him, I forgive him, I forgive him” – until you actually want it to happen. And in order to forgive first of all we need to pray about it and receive God’s grace..

Say it until you mean it. The pain of the hurts may get worse as the memories open up again, so be prepared for this to happen. But in time you will begin to feel the forgiveness in your heart.

Forgiving is good for us and we will start to feel better and will no longer be a victim but a victor.

To experience God’s forgiveness we must first forgive others. When we live in the benefit of God’s forgiveness good things happen to us and we begin to feel free. We start to live in the future instead of the past and we get our futures back.

Good points to ponder on Pat,
It is definitely a process. Does not matter if they "deserve" it or not as, none of us deserved His forgiveness...and His love despite! Yet, forgave us and still LOVED us just the same. Right, we need His grace for that. Some hurts seem as if they will never go away and if we feed them, anger will come...IMOE. If we think enough on how He forgave us some horrible deeds, even as bad as done unto us!...should we feel shame?
Anyhow, it seems to help if we remember that neither do we deserve His forgiveness.
xo
 
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Windmillcharge

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1. “If I forgave her/him, that would mean something about me–that I'm a wimp,

2. “The other person doesn't deserve forgiveness.”

3. “I need to get even first.”

To be contraversal try basing ones theology about forgiveness on what the bible teaches.

Look at the O sacrifical system.
To obtain remission for sin a devout Jew had to bring a perfect animal to the alter as an offering. He laid his hand on its head, symbolicly trandferring sin, guilt etc, while its throat is cut. The carcuss is then burnt.

In doing this he has to acknowledge he is a sinner, that blood has to be shed for him to obtain 'forgiveness'.

To make it simple before there is forgiveness there has to be repentance.

This is taught right through the bible.

None of us became a Christian without saying sorry to God or acknowledging we were a sinner.

God does not just forgive.

Jesus on the cross did not forgive. He prayed, " Father forgive them! "

Every command quoted above assumes that there is already repentance on the part of the offender and then we Must forgive.

What of the unrepentent who won't or can't say sorry?

Then we copy Jesus and like him on the cross we hand the incident, the offender and our feelings etc over to God for him to deal with.
Then comes the hard part, we pray regularly and intelligently for the good of the offender.

We don't have to manufacture feelings of forgiveness or feel guilty because we cannot feel we forgive.

Forgiveness has nothing to do with feelings. It is something we have to do, often with Gods help and power because they have repented.

.

4. “Anger makes me feel powerful; I don't want to give it up.”
Yes, there is a certain feeling of power in feeling angry, in being courageous and willing to stand up for yourself and your values. But usually there is also a sense of lack of choice in having to be angry and having to be preoccupied with thoughts of that person who harmed you. When someone says, “He made me angry,” what they are really saying is, “He can control my feelings; I have no choice but to get angry.” I'd like to offer you more choices, so that you can be the one in control of your feelings and behavior, and stand up for yourself even more powerfully.

5. “I refuse to forgive and forget.”
I agree with you completely. I don't want you to forgive and forget. If you forgot, then you'd be completely vulnerable to a repetition of the harm that was done to you. I want you to forgive and remember. I want you to remember so that you are protected against possible recurrences, and to remember in a way that provides you with feelings of strength, choice, and resourcefulness, instead of being provoked into choice less anger.

6. “If I forgave them, then they'd think what they did didn't matter and they could feel comfortable doing it again.”
 
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JohnPaul

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I've had a problem forgiving someone at work, my lead guy, he's been acting very rude and the way he answers my questions aren't nice.

I was feeling deep hatred for him yesterday when I ask him a question, regarding the work I was doing and their was a female in the room, he answered me as if he were talking down to me and basically saying to check it for myself, my blood went right to my head, he's my lead guy and the guy I report to, so this really pissed me off as there were a few people in the room and it made me feel small.

The man is a Black man and the anger was so much I started calling him all kinds of names in my mind, and that goes for the N word, I kept my mouth such and didn't answer him back, I contained myself, buy boy was my my racing with all kinds of racial slurs and other profanity, so much so that I brought the anger home with me and told my girlfriend and used the same exact racial slurs to my girlfriend when explaining what happened.

I'm about the only worker who shows respect to this lead guy, as a matter of fact one of my other coworkers went to the manager yesterday and complained about his attitude, that he has a bad one, and manager says she knows about it, that she's been told about his attitude by other coworkers.

My question is how do I go about forgiving this man for the way that he acts and responds to me and others, I've already asked God to forgive me for the profanity I used against him, I'm not racist, just that out of pure anger those racial slurs came to mind.

How does someone forgive someone for continuously talking down to you and showing animosity towards myself and other coworkers?

I can ask God to change him and give him more patience, and pray for him, but the way I'm feeling now, those prayers for him won't be genuine.

So how do you forgive someone who constantly has a bad attitude towards you and pray to God, when it's not sincere, because I know he'll do it again and those human emotions will rise up again towards this person including the racial slurs and profanity.
 

Ronald David Bruno

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A great deal of therapeutic effort goes into struggling with anger and resentment, because this “unfinished business” causes so much difficulty–both for the person who has it and for other family members, friends, and associates. All of us can think of people who spend much of their time preoccupied with old hurts and injuries, interfering with their ongoing relationships and preventing them from getting on with their lives. How often have you wished that there were a quick and easy way to give up this preoccupation with the dead past and refocus on present and future living? Forgiving others (or yourself) does not mean condoning the behavior that harmed you (or someone else), or giving up the values that were violated. An important part of the pattern is to reaffirm your own values and criteria and use them to develop ways of coping resourcefully. The resolution and integration that forgiveness brings will make it easier to take effective action to uphold your values and standards in the future.

Objections have to do with the meaning of forgiveness to the one who needs to forgive.

1. “If I forgave her/him, that would mean something about me–that I'm a wimp, that I condone what she/he did to me.”
Can you see that far from being a wimp, your forgiving them would mean that you have accomplished a change that takes great courage, compassion and understanding–one that only a few human beings are capable of.

2. “The other person doesn't deserve forgiveness.”
Perhaps not. But forgiveness is not for them, it's for you, so that you can live in your body with more comfort and congruence. Forgiveness is so that you don't have to continue to be burdened by angry feelings, preoccupied with obsessive thoughts about revenge, etc.

3. “I need to get even first.”
What would getting even do for you? Often people say that they feel personally diminished by the harm that was done to them, and that getting even would help them feel powerful and good about themselves again. I want you to feel powerful and good about yourself, and I'd like to offer you other ways of doing this. For instance, I'd like you to learn how to cope effectively with possible repetitions of this kind of behavior, so that you feel safe and strong in knowing what you can do to prevent a recurrence.

4. “Anger makes me feel powerful; I don't want to give it up.”
Yes, there is a certain feeling of power in feeling angry, in being courageous and willing to stand up for yourself and your values. But usually there is also a sense of lack of choice in having to be angry and having to be preoccupied with thoughts of that person who harmed you. When someone says, “He made me angry,” what they are really saying is, “He can control my feelings; I have no choice but to get angry.” I'd like to offer you more choices, so that you can be the one in control of your feelings and behavior, and stand up for yourself even more powerfully.

5. “I refuse to forgive and forget.”
I agree with you completely. I don't want you to forgive and forget. If you forgot, then you'd be completely vulnerable to a repetition of the harm that was done to you. I want you to forgive and remember. I want you to remember so that you are protected against possible recurrences, and to remember in a way that provides you with feelings of strength, choice, and resourcefulness, instead of being provoked into choice less anger.

6. “If I forgave them, then they'd think what they did didn't matter and they could feel comfortable doing it again.”
So you want him to know how terrible it was for you, and so that he won't do it again. I think that it is important for you to communicate that to him. I don't know about you, but I find that when I'm angry I don't communicate very well. Often the other person gets defensive and doesn't listen, and maybe “blows it off,” thinking “Oh, he's just upset; it doesn't mean anything.” I'd like to help you find ways to really get through to him, and my guess is that will be much easier if you're not angry and upset.

One ex-prisoner of war asked another, “Have you forgiven your captors yet?” The second one replied, “NO, NEVER!” And the other one turned and said, “Then it seems like they still have you in prison, don't they?”

“One man spent eighteen years in Chinese prison and labor camps. In the early '80s they allowed him to come to India. On occasion he and I discussed his experiences in the various Chinese labor camps. And he told me that during those periods, on a few occasions he really faced some danger. I asked what kind of danger, and his response was, 'Oh, danger of losing compassion for the Chinese.' That kind of mental attitude is, I think, a key factor to sustain peace of mind.”

The Dali Lama “If we could read the secret history of those we would like to punish, we would find in each life enough grief and suffering to make us stop wishing anything more on them.” –Source Unknown

Matthew 18:21,22 St. Peter: “Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Till seven times?” Jesus saith unto him, “I say not unto thee until seven times: but until seventy times seven.”

Matthew 6:14 “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you”

Luke 23:34 “Father, forgive them: for they know not what they do.”

Matthew 7:1 “Judge not, and ye shall not be judged”

In Warsaw, in 1939, a man watched as the Nazis machine-gunned hundreds of Jews, including his wife, two daughters, and three sons. “I had to decide right then whether to let myself hate the soldiers who had done this. It was an easy decision, really. I was a lawyer. In my practice I had seen too often what hate could do to people's minds and bodies. Hate had just killed the six people who mattered most to me in the world. I decided then that I would spend the rest of my life–whether it was a few days or many years–loving every person I came in contact with.” –George G. Ritchie, Return from Tomorrow, pp. 115-116
Excellent post. Early on in my Christian walk, I struggled with forgiveness. My argument was that God does not forgive us unless we ask for it - so I would use that condition. But that is not what Jesus said, He said forgive your brother 70 × 7 times.
We can still try to counter that with: Well, what if he is not my brother, an unbeliever? He may be someday - we don't know. If he is in God's Book of Life then this moment of forgiveness may be part of his path to enlightenment - to the love of God.
And then Jesus said, "Love your enemies"! That takes care of all unbelievers, so that should dispel one's reluctance to forgive an unbeliever.
The most important perspective is that God is everyone's judge and so no one gets away with anything evil. "Vengeance is Mine, says the Lord!" I comfort in that. Whenever I see evil in any form, I also remind myself that God is allowing it for a purpose. Much of the trials and tribulations are for our own refinement.
The other aspect of God's ultimate perfect justice besides no one getting away with evil, is that the death of believers in Christ is not the end, but a new beginning, the entrance into eternal heaven. Should we be sad for someone who dies and goes to a better place? Let's say they were murdered or died young from a disease or accident, it is shocking to us. We grieve. We somehow think their lives were robbed, cut short by this evil. Was it really? God took them home and out of this cruel world. I think it is more of a selfish feeling that we are deprived of this person, deprived of being able to love them, hold them ... we will miss them. And those are valid feelings - but really about our own deprivation, not theirs. Believers do mourn differently, for they know they will see them soon.
What if they die young and are not believers? Did someone deprive them of eternal life, cutting their life short before their scheduled divine appointment?
No, I think not. GOD's Book of Life is certain. Man cannot mess up His plan for anyone. We can presume that any person who died without the Lord was ultimately destined to die without the Lord even if they had lived a 100 years.
Sorry, I strayed a little of the topic.
Forgiveness is the answer to sin and evil. Jesus died for us when we were yet sinners - before we were born. We do need to seek God and ask, but He enables us to do so, it's all by the GRACE of GOD.
And btw, He enables us to forgive, since He is love and the source of all love and goodness is God.
Here is one principle we can't get around: If we don't forgive others, God will not forgive us. If we are stubbornly locked in this prison of hate and unforgiveness and remain there, it is likely that we are a reprobate ourselves.
Make sure you are not a reprobate - believe in Jesus, forgive others.
 
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JohnPaul

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Excellent post. Early on in my Christian walk, I struggled with forgiveness. My argument was that God does not forgive us unless we ask for it - so I would use that condition. But that is not what Jesus said, He said forgive your brother 70 × 7 times.
We can still try to counter that with: Well, what if he is not my brother, an unbeliever? He may be someday - we don't know. If he is in God's Book of Life then this moment of forgiveness may be part of his path to enlightenment - to the love of God.
And then Jesus said, "Love your enemies"! That takes care of all unbelievers, so that should dispel one's reluctance to forgive an unbeliever.
The most important perspective is that God is everyone's judge and so no one gets away with anything evil. "Vengeance is Mine, says the Lord!" I comfort in that. Whenever I see evil in any form, I also remind myself that God is allowing it for a purpose. Much of the trials and tribulations are for our own refinement.
The other aspect of God's ultimate perfect justice besides no one getting away with evil, is that the death of believers in Christ is not the end, but a new beginning, the entrance into eternal heaven. Should we be sad for someone who dies and goes to a better place? Let's say they were murdered or died young from a disease or accident, it is shocking to us. We grieve. We somehow think their lives were robbed, cut short by this evil. Was it really? God took them home and out of this cruel world. I think it is more of a selfish feeling that we are deprived of this person, deprived of being able to love them, hold them ... we will miss them. And those are valid feelings - but really about our own deprivation, not theirs. Believers do mourn differently, for they know they will see them soon.
What if they die young and are not believers? Did someone deprive them of eternal life, cutting their life short before their scheduled divine appointment?
No, I think not. GOD's Book of Life is certain. Man cannot mess up His plan for anyone. We can presume that any person who died without the Lord was ultimately destined to die without the Lord even if they had lived a 100 years.
Sorry, I strayed a little of the topic.
Forgiveness is the answer to sin and evil. Jesus died for us when we were yet sinners - before we were born. We do need to seek God and ask, but He enables us to do so, it's all by the GRACE of GOD.
And btw, He enables us to forgive, since He is love and the source of all love and goodness is God.
Here is one principle we can't get around: If we don't forgive others, God will not forgive us. If we are stubbornly locked in this prison of hate and unforgiveness and remain there, it is likely that we are a reprobate ourselves.
Make sure you are not a reprobate - believe in Jesus, forgive others.
Thank you @Ronald David Bruno. He will be forgiven.
 
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Windmillcharge

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My question is how do I go about forgiving this man for the way that he acts and responds to me and others, I've already asked God to forgive me for the profanity I used against him, I'm not racist, just that out of pure anger those racial slurs came to mind

You do not have to forgive him. Hand the situation, his attitude, your anger etc over to God for him to deal with, pray for this mans attitude.
If you can speak to him when alone with him and ask him about his attitude, way of speaking to you and others.
 
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JohnPaul

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You do not have to forgive him. Hand the situation, his attitude, your anger etc over to God for him to deal with, pray for this mans attitude.
If you can speak to him when alone with him and ask him about his attitude, way of speaking to you and others.
Thank you for the advice, I will pray for his attitude.
 

MatthewG

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Remember Jesus said resist not an evil person, turn the cheek if one hits you on it offering the other.

Jesus really meant what He had said; look at when he was being beaten, scourged, bashed with a staff, placed a crown of thorns on his head, stripped of his garments, spit on his face, and he never retaliated.

This is the what Jesus did and lived by his words not to resist and evil person.

Now in today’s time we too forgive people who mistreat us in life when we come to realization that Jesus didn’t just die on the cross but was buried and raised again to new life.

Jesus said to Father forgive them for they know not what they do.

Now though in today’s time even the it was might makes right, my way or the high way.

Not to say there are not times when one needs to involve the polices in cases that are in need for one to be away from harm.

However even through that experience you can share it with others and express how Jesus was the answer in how you overcame your hatred or detestment for the person because of what Jesus went through. Though even though he died on the cross, he also was buried and resurrected, again too.

It’s all becomes of God working in and through you praying for others, and the Holy Spirit and spirit of Christ guides your life.

Which God gave you new life when you believed in your heart, Jesus was resurrected again to new life.
 

JohnPaul

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You do not have to forgive him. Hand the situation, his attitude, your anger etc over to God for him to deal with, pray for this mans attitude.
If you can speak to him when alone with him and ask him about his attitude, way of speaking to you and others.
He just told me yesterday it was his last week this week, never taught me any of the equipment or nothing, when I asked him to train me on a piece of equipment, he told me that was his job setting up the equipment, yet I was assigned to him to learn to set up the equipment, so he didn't want to show me because he was insecure and didn't want anyone else learning the equipment, "Job Security" and now he up and quit, so I'm stuck.

I've been at this place for a year and can't set up a piece of equipment because this guy wouldn't show and if I ran and told my manager, that would make things worse between me and this guy, so now I'm stuck wondering how my job is going to last.
 

MatthewG

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Sounds like something you should talk to your supervisor about regardless if you may feel like a rat. Or see if the supervisor will be hiring someone to that mans job.

It sounds easy, and the man might hate you for it, but are you doing it for a good reason or are you doing it for a bad reason?

@JohnPaul. That is something that doesn’t bother me anymore what a person May thinks about myself especially if it comes to something that I need to learn a job. They can huff and puff if they want to they will get over it or will not.

That is how I would handle things though, you may not be that way.

It never hurts to ask your supervisor for answers so you can know and not have to worry about things if you don’t need to my friend.
 

JohnPaul

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Sounds like something you should talk to your supervisor about regardless if you may feel like a rat. Or see if the supervisor will be hiring someone to that mans job.

It sounds easy, and the man might hate you for it, but are you doing it for a good reason or are you doing it for a bad reason?

@JohnPaul. That is something that doesn’t bother me anymore what a person May thinks about myself especially if it comes to something that I need to learn a job. They can huff and puff if they want to they will get over it or will not.

That is how I would handle things though, you may not be that way.
Thank you MatthewG, I was thinking of doing that, talking to my manager, I don't have a supervisor, just the lead guy that is leaving,he has a real bad attitude towards things and people.

I might just have to take your advice, I don't want these people thinking I'm an idiot or something and can't learn the job being here a year already, but if someone won't show you even by you watching the person, you are not going to learn how to assemble or disassemble a sophisticated piece of equipment without someone showing you hands on.

So I'll schedule an appointment with my manager via email as to when we can speak so I could explain to her my situation.

Thank you for your help MatthewG, God bless you brother,
 
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JohnPaul

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Remember Jesus said resist not an evil person, turn the cheek if one hits you on it offering the other.

Jesus really meant what He had said; look at when he was being beaten, scourged, bashed with a staff, placed a crown of thorns on his head, stripped of his garments, spit on his face, and he never retaliated.

This is the what Jesus did and lived by his words not to resist and evil person.

Now in today’s time we too forgive people who mistreat us in life when we come to realization that Jesus didn’t just die on the cross but was buried and raised again to new life.

Jesus said to Father forgive them for they know not what they do.

Now though in today’s time even the it was might makes right, my way or the high way.

Not to say there are not times when one needs to involve the polices in cases that are in need for one to be away from harm.

However even through that experience you can share it with others and express how Jesus was the answer in how you overcame your hatred or detestment for the person because of what Jesus went through. Though even though he died on the cross, he also was buried and resurrected, again too.

It’s all becomes of God working in and through you praying for others, and the Holy Spirit and spirit of Christ guides your life.

Which God gave you new life when you believed in your heart, Jesus was resurrected again to new life.
Thank you for your wisdom and making me deflect my hate from my coworker by reading this, sometimes my human emotions get the best of me, I will pray for this man and wish him the best despite how he acted towards me, one has to live by the spirit Christ instead of our Eartly emotions.
 
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Pathfinder7

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Corrie Ten Boom
- 'The Hiding Place' (book)
Some people might remember her..
---
She was in the 'Concentration Camp'..
- Because she helped Jews.
---
After the War, she met the German..who worked at the Concentration Camp ( where she was ).
- She forgave him.
---
I read the book (The Hiding Place)..
- During the early days of my spiritual journey.
 
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