How to Get Along With Believers You Disagree With

[amadeus]

From a writing more than 8 years ago



If we were not speaking of people who attended a particular assembly, but rather of people who are together regularly because of circumstances, such working for the same employer, or living next door to each other, the answer of requiring someone to 'leave the assembly' wouldn't work.

Consider the differences among the members of any Christian forum, present and past.

In some forums, we have, or have had, universalists [everyone saved in the long run], Once Saved Always Saved, non-trinitarians [such as myself], Mormons, atheists and witches [self-proclaimed]. Also we have seen Roman Catholics, Orthodox Catholics, 7th day Adventists, etc.

The sharply different doctrines held by some of these could easily [and has in the past] result in some very un-Christ-like words being posted. Yet, for all of this, on some such forums, many have remained over long periods of time. Some of the instigators may push the forum rules beyond the limits of almost anyone and have to be removed from membership.

Banning people is, in my opinion, a poor choice for resolving differences, but unfortunately, sometimes there are no easy or realistic alternatives for the decision makers.

No one should be required to compromise their own beliefs to please someone other than God. No one but God is able to set straight anyone who is wrong in what they believe... and even God will not force a person to act against his own will.

People who insist that they cannot serve God without insulting others need to consider more carefully the example of Jesus when He walked this planet some 2000 years ago.

It is usually for a lack of love one toward another [charity] that people end up being banned. Jesus loved Judas, even though He knew before the betrayal that Judas was to be His betrayer! Judas did hear the same spoken words from the lips of Jesus as the others did! Apparently he never allowed them (at least some of them) to be written in his heart.

It has been many years since my own natural children lived at home, but I know that even when they were very evil in their actions, I always still loved them. Loving a child must of necessity include the ability and the will to chastise them properly when they have done wrong.

We are not usually each other's natural children on the forum, but we should attempt treat each other as Jesus treated Judas all of the time. We really are our brother's keeper! If we are uncertain as who is or who is not our brother, wouldn't it be better to treat the person as a brother?

'Do onto others that which you would have them do onto you!'

Jesus did this "Do onto others" thing better than anyone, but we should or could have the gift from God to do the same. If we do not, it is not the fault of God who would willingly give us the needed increase.

To turn the other cheek doesn't mean to smite your apparent offender in the same manner that he smote you!

One verse says, "...Resist the devil and he will flee from you..." [James 4:7]

Another verse says, "...Resist not evil..." [Matt 5:39]

The verse in James, I believe, refers to us needing to resist the temptations, which are found in our flesh, which want us to do things to please ourselves rather than to please God. Jesus did this by using the sword, which is the Word of God, a weapon [two edged] for both offense and defense.

The verse in Matthew, I believe, refers to not attempting by our own strength or will or power to overcome an enemy. We cannot win by this means, many, or even any, battles for God.

"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." Eph 6:12

Also...

Then he answered and spake unto me, saying, This is the word of the LORD unto Zerubbabel [me or you], saying, Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the LORD of hosts." Zech 6:4

 

[Helen]

From a writing more than 8 years ago



If we were not speaking of people who attended a particular assembly, but rather of people who are together regularly because of circumstances, such working for the same employer, or living next door to each other, the answer of requiring someone to 'leave the assembly' wouldn't work.

Consider the differences among the members of any Christian forum, present and past.

In some forums, we have, or have had, universalists [everyone saved in the long run], Once Saved Always Saved, non-trinitarians [such as myself], Mormons, atheists and witches [self-proclaimed]. Also we have seen Roman Catholics, Orthodox Catholics, 7th day Adventists, etc.

The sharply different doctrines held by some of these could easily [and has in the past] result in some very un-Christ-like words being posted. Yet, for all of this, on some such forums, many have remained over long periods of time. Some of the instigators may push the forum rules beyond the limits of almost anyone and have to be removed from membership.

Banning people is, in my opinion, a poor choice for resolving differences, but unfortunately, sometimes there are no easy or realistic alternatives for the decision makers.

No one should be required to compromise their own beliefs to please someone other than God. No one but God is able to set straight anyone who is wrong in what they believe... and even God will not force a person to act against his own will.

People who insist that they cannot serve God without insulting others need to consider more carefully the example of Jesus when He walked this planet some 2000 years ago.

It is usually for a lack of love one toward another [charity] that people end up being banned. Jesus loved Judas, even though He knew before the betrayal that Judas was to be His betrayer! Judas did hear the same spoken words from the lips of Jesus as the others did! Apparently he never allowed them (at least some of them) to be written in his heart.

It has been many years since my own natural children lived at home, but I know that even when they were very evil in their actions, I always still loved them. Loving a child must of necessity include the ability and the will to chastise them properly when they have done wrong.

We are not usually each other's natural children on the forum, but we should attempt treat each other as Jesus treated Judas all of the time. We really are our brother's keeper! If we are uncertain as who is or who is not our brother, wouldn't it be better to treat the person as a brother?

'Do onto others that which you would have them do onto you!'

Jesus did this "Do onto others" thing better than anyone, but we should or could have the gift from God to do the same. If we do not, it is not the fault of God who would willingly give us the needed increase.

To turn the other cheek doesn't mean to smite your apparent offender in the same manner that he smote you!

One verse says, "...Resist the devil and he will flee from you..." [James 4:7]

Another verse says, "...Resist not evil..." [Matt 5:39]

The verse in James, I believe, refers to us needing to resist the temptations, which are found in our flesh, which want us to do things to please ourselves rather than to please God. Jesus did this by using the sword, which is the Word of God, a weapon [two edged] for both offense and defense.

The verse in Matthew, I believe, refers to not attempting by our own strength or will or power to overcome an enemy. We cannot win by this means, many, or even any, battles for God.

"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." Eph 6:12

Also...

Then he answered and spake unto me, saying, This is the word of the LORD unto Zerubbabel [me or you], saying, Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the LORD of hosts." Zech 6:4

Amen John..and just a needful as 8 years ago!

On the whole I find this forum here is one of the better ones in allowing us (who do not fit into the run of the mill traditional fundamental church groups. )

Where would we go?
We would have to zip our lips and not 'be ourselves' , but we would have to try to say only what is acceptable to the majority.

I'm glad that you are 'you'.

Bless you...H

 

[Hidden In Him]

Amen John..and just a needful as 8 years ago!

On the whole I find this forum here is one of the better ones in allowing us (who do not fit into the run of the mill traditional fundamental church groups. )

Where would we go?
We would have to zip our lips and not 'be ourselves' , but we would have to try to say only what is acceptable to the majority.

I'm glad that you are 'you'.

Bless you...H

Just about an hour or so ago, I was considering posting a thread on how well this community seems to be treating each other these days : ) Having taken a few months off, on my first day back I thought it was the same ol' same old, as I got assaulted by this new guy I'd never seen here before, LoL. But since then, it's been really nice, and not just on threads where everyone agrees... so much different than maybe a year or so ago, when it had gotten so bad I was worried the community might not survive it : )

 

[Philip James]

If we are uncertain as who is or who is not our brother, wouldn't it be better to treat the person as a brother?

Yes.
We dont have to like all our brothers and sisters, but we do have to love them.

I, then, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to live in a manner worthy of the call you have received,

with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another through love,

striving to preserve the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace:

one body and one Spirit, as you were also called to the one hope of your call;

one Lord, one faith, one baptism;

one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all

Eph 4:1-6

Peace!

 

[amadeus]

Amen John..and just a needful as 8 years ago!

On the whole I find this forum here is one of the better ones in allowing us (who do not fit into the run of the mill traditional fundamental church groups. )

Where would we go?
We would have to zip our lips and not 'be ourselves' , but we would have to try to say only what is acceptable to the majority.

I'm glad that you are 'you'.

Bless you...H

And I am glad that you are here dear sister. We've both seen some of these other forums over the years. I remember when Mike was starting his own forums [3?] after his falling out at T2O. That has been several years ago. He worked so hard to make it happen right... and often it was better.

 

[Windmillcharge]

It does depend on the nature of the disagrement.
If it is merely personal dislike for what ever reason, then one has to bite the bullet and be polite to them when one meets them at church, out and about or at cell groups and prayer meetings etc.
Disagrements over 2ndry theological issues, like Jesus second coming, calvinism etc one has to agree to disagree and be polite, avoiding arguements when in bible studies etc.

However when someone insists for example:- that one Must Only use the AV, or that the form of church worship is unbiblical and disrupts services, or that salvation is by some strange idea etc etc etc
Then there is a need if they will not accept that other ideas are equally valid then the church elders or form regulators will have to consider banning that person.

 

[amadeus]

It does depend on the nature of the disagrement.
If it is merely personal dislike for what ever reason, then one has to bite the bullet and be polite to them when one meets them at church, out and about or at cell groups and prayer meetings etc.
Disagrements over 2ndry theological issues, like Jesus second coming, calvinism etc one has to agree to disagree and be polite, avoiding arguements when in bible studies etc.

However when someone insists for example:- that one Must Only use the AV, or that the form of church worship is unbiblical and disrupts services, or that salvation is by some strange idea etc etc etc
Then there is a need if they will not accept that other ideas are equally valid then the church elders or form regulators will have to consider banning that person.

Understood, but then that person banned would perhaps be the kernel of one more denomination. How many is that now? Latest count? Don't answer those questions.

You say that one has to bite the bullet in certain types of disagreements situations, but why must that be the case? Maybe you mean that a person who is submitted to God upon recognizing another person's obstinacy should simply remain silent rather to persist in an argument which would edify no one.

 

[Helen]

And I am glad that you are here dear sister. We've both seen some of these other forums over the years. I remember when Mike was starting his own forums [3?] after his falling out at T2O. That has been several years ago. He worked so hard to make it happen right... and often it was better.

We didn't always pull if of on those sites of Mikes...but we gave it a good shot. As an Admin he had a good balance of trying to be 'open to all'.

I remember we didn't ban very many at all. Mostly just because of continual un-called-for aggressiveness and rudeness ... not for belief systems..(except for those three strange Australian ladies) but he did give warnings before banning.

Here on this forum I have used the 'report' button a few times.
just in case the moderators missed the post ...(I once did it three times with someone using foul language which does not belong on a christian forum ..very offensive)

The last word is always with the moderators...they can ignore out 'report' if they find it incorrect.

This is a good 'open' place to be.
It seem the argument come from a person keep on telling someone else that they are wrong..( indicating that they themselves are right)
I have been known for falling into arguing when someone comes across with the attitude " I and only I am right"... I do often fall into the trap pf pushing back...

I think I am at least learning how to 'walk away' now more quickly, rather than try and argue the point and become frustrated.

Bless you...H

 

[Josho]

Well what fish you are catching or not catching and weather always unites, no matter how far a part your or my Christian beliefs are from other Christians.

It's crazy the differences though, there are Christians out there that have beliefs totally different, and sometimes it's a case of how can you not believe in that or how can you even support that as a Christian, that it's so far off the scale.

I had always heard a bit about the differences, but now I have seen it for myself how different a lot of other Believers are since joining a Christian forum.

That's me though coming from and having being raised in a Charismatic non-denominational strong Christian family.

I have learnt though you just gotta drop it in some threads when it gets to certain point. I think when you have said enough to say this is where I stand on a particular topic, people are always going to try to get into argument, provoke you, or try to twist your words on a reply or a post to get you to respond and that's when it's time to walk away, and then let them throw rocks all they want (within the rules of the forum of course), eventually they will get tired if you don't respond, hehehe.

 

[farouk]

Well what fish you are catching or not catching and weather always unites, no matter how far a part your or my Christian beliefs are from other Christians.

It's crazy the differences though, there are Christians out there that have beliefs totally different, and sometimes it's a case of how can you not believe in that or how can you even support that as a Christian, that it's so far off the scale.

I had always heard a bit about the differences, but now I have seen it for myself how different a lot of other Believers are since joining a Christian forum.

That's me though coming from and having being raised in a Charismatic non-denominational strong Christian family.

I have learnt though you just gotta drop it in some threads when it gets to certain point. I think when you have said enough to say this is where I stand on a particular topic, people are always going to try to get into argument, provoke you, or try to twist your words on a reply or a post to get you to respond and that's when it's time to walk away, and then let them throw rocks all they want (within the rules of the forum of course), eventually they will get tired if you don't respond, hehehe.

As far as basic local church activities, it's good to have a basic, simple guide in Acts 2.42.

 

[amadeus]

We didn't always pull if of on those sites of Mikes...but we gave it a good shot. As an Admin he had a good balance of trying to be 'open to all'.

I remember we didn't ban very many at all. Mostly just because of continual un-called-for aggressiveness and rudeness ... not for belief systems..(except for those three strange Australian ladies) but he did give warnings before banning.

Here on this forum I have used the 'report' button a few times.
just in case the moderators missed the post ...(I once did it three times with someone using foul language which does not belong on a christian forum ..very offensive)

The last word is always with the moderators...they can ignore out 'report' if they find it incorrect.

This is a good 'open' place to be.
It seem the argument come from a person keep on telling someone else that they are wrong..( indicating that they themselves are right)
I have been known for falling into arguing when someone comes across with the attitude " I and only I am right"... I do often fall into the trap pf pushing back...

I think I am at least learning how to 'walk away' now more quickly, rather than try and argue the point and become frustrated.

Bless you...H

Well, as you say we made an effort along with Mike. Now we are making our effort here, but the old man is getting very tired. If it were not for the new man sometimes... but that is too negative to even put into words. May God richly bless you!

I have never used the "ignore" button, but a very few times I have used the "report" button, but that really is seldom...

 

[Willie T]

Were the people there ever really True 2 Themselves?

 

[Helen]

Were the people there ever really True 2 Themselves?

The majority - True to their own beliefs and agendas LOL
I didn't stay there very long....

 

[amadeus]

Were the people there ever really True 2 Themselves?

Ha Ha on that one. I recall once on that forum having an open discussion on that very question. Of course the name had been there before me and it remains today. I visited there briefly a couple of days ago and saw lots of posts, but the only name on any of them was Catholic Crusader. Anyone who has been a member of that forum knows who he is.

 

[Willie T]

I was on a good one for a couple of years, ChristianChat. But the owner was considering letting the members vote on who they wanted banned. When I explained to a woman questioning that action (via PM) that the reasoning was likely to keep paying members happy, she ratted me out to RoboOp, the owner, who immediately banned me before I could type one more word. I think I hit the nail right on the head, since he had 83,000 subscribers at that time, and it was likely a very sensitive (and lucrative) subject he didn't want brought out in the open. As I recall, he was making more money than the president of his country.

 

[Giuliano]

Ha Ha on that one. I recall once on that forum having an open discussion on that very question. Of course the name had been there before I and it remains today. I visited there briefly a couple of days ago and saw lots of posts, but the only name on any of them was Catholic Crusader. Anyone who has been a member of that forum know who he is.

I saw a news items this week that reminded me of him. If I was still a member there, I would have posted it. He was fun to tease sometimes. The story was about two nuns who got pregnant.

Catholic Church launch investigation after two nuns become pregnant while working in Africa | The Irish Post

THE CATHOLIC CHURCH has launched an investigation into two missionary nuns who were discovered to be pregnant while working in Africa, despite their vows of chastity.

The two women, who reportedly belong to separate religious orders in Sicily, Italy, are both now facing pressure to quit the Church after discovering they were expecting children.

One of the nuns, a mother superior, only realised she was pregnant when she visited hospital, complaining of stomach pains, according to Italian news agency ANSA.

 

[Enoch111]

Some of the instigators may push the forum rules beyond the limits of almost anyone and have to be removed from membership.

There you have it. If someone shows up wanting to be a troll, then they have no business being here.

As to differences between believers, we have to live and let live, and agree to disagree, without going round and round the mulberry bush. I generally state my position and what I believe to be the truth. I have no interest in debating, and the childish notion that last one to post wins.

 

[amadeus]

I saw a news items this week that reminded me of him. If I was still a member there, I would have posted it. He was fun to tease sometimes.

He had some serious personal issues. Our old friend, Nancy, [not the Nancy on this forum] got pretty close to him and defensive on his behalf because she knew his story. He was one that knew a lot about Catholicism but often missed the boat when it came to God.

The story was about two nuns who got pregnant.

Catholic Church launch investigation after two nuns become pregnant while working in Africa | The Irish Post

THE CATHOLIC CHURCH has launched an investigation into two missionary nuns who were discovered to be pregnant while working in Africa, despite their vows of chastity.

The two women, who reportedly belong to separate religious orders in Sicily, Italy, are both now facing pressure to quit the Church after discovering they were expecting children.

One of the nuns, a mother superior, only realised she was pregnant when she visited hospital, complaining of stomach pains, according to Italian news agency ANSA.

For me, when I was a Catholic, there was no place else better to be. The memory of that remains in my heart even though I have over the years since leaving them seen many things like your news item. It really does not alone disprove the ideas of Catholicism, does it? For me Catholicism is no more wrong than any other church organization in my experience, but that does not make it right either.

 

[Giuliano]

For me, when I was a Catholic, there was no place else better to be. The memory of that remains in my heart even though I have over the years since leaving them seen many things like your news item. It really does not alone disprove the ideas of Catholicism, does it? For me Catholicism is no more wrong than any other church organization in my experience, but that does not make it right either.

What I find amusing about Catholics like him is how defensive they can be. They say the gates of hell will not prevail against the Catholic Church but then act nervous as if they need to defend every tiny shortcoming of other Catholics. I find self-confident Catholics a pleasanter lot -- and indeed often fine witnesses for Christianity.

 

[amadeus]

Well what fish you are catching or not catching and weather always unites, no matter how far a part your or my Christian beliefs are from other Christians.

It's crazy the differences though, there are Christians out there that have beliefs totally different, and sometimes it's a case of how can you not believe in that or how can you even support that as a Christian, that it's so far off the scale.

I had always heard a bit about the differences, but now I have seen it for myself how different a lot of other Believers are since joining a Christian forum.

Before joining a Christian forum for the first time about 20 years ago I thought I knew all about belief differences, but I really had no idea. But all of these things in their great variety for the most part are nothing at all. Now, my experience on forums has helped me understand what Solomon meant when he wrote the following words:

"The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun.
Is there any thing whereof it may be said, See, this is new? it hath been already of old time, which was before us." Ecc 1:9-10

It repeats and repeats again, but in spite of the great variety we have seen, there is only one highway of holiness leading to God. No, don't ask me to clarify that.

That's me though coming from and having being raised in a Charismatic non-denominational strong Christian family.

I have learnt though you just gotta drop it in some threads when it gets to certain point. I think when you have said enough to say this is where I stand on a particular topic, people are always going to try to get into argument, provoke you, or try to twist your words on a reply or a post to get you to respond and that's when it's time to walk away, and then let them throw rocks all they want (within the rules of the forum of course), eventually they will get tired if you don't respond, hehehe.

Perhaps, but don't count on it. There are a few who will never let go... They may believe that because you have backed off, they are the winners so they remain and toot their horn of victory. But... like those who opposed Jesus when he walked here in his own flesh, they have no idea what it is they have won and what they have lost...

"They have their reward..."