I have a problem. First, my parents and I do not go to church, but we are saved Christians. I watched a movie about Jesus last night that was not in order with the Bible, and I went to bed without taking a shower, thinking I would either shower early and get ready early to go to Easter Sunday at 11:00 at the Methodist church, or stay home and watch Rev. Dr. Stanley the preacher on Sunday morning, message is Biblical and loving. i woke up stiff and aching, in pain. I watched Dr. Stanley but I wasn't sure about gong to church. he preached about salvation, and mostly baptism, talking about correct baptism, that one must be saved before being baptized. He said in order to be saved you must believe in your heart that Jesus died on the cross to save you from your sins, was died and resurrected to life on Easter SUnday morning, repernt and ask God to forgive you of your sins, and confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord. But when I was reading the Bible it said that no one puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of heaven, enter by the narrow gate, take up your cross and follow me, you must be good soil for the seed to grow, I thought that getting saved for real was really dificult, we had to act like Christians and give a lot of our material things away. So I was thinking about my mom, and my dad, and my mom was waking up and 10:30 and I went to talk to her and questioned whether she was saved. She was really hurt, and really mad and me, then my dad was mad at me, and they thought it was my mental illness cming up again, I was going crazy again. I thought about it and I realized I was wrong, so I started crying. I took a shower, and I was miserable, I was crying all through my shower, and while getting dressed. Then my dad said mom wanted to go out to eat, we went out to eat, I put on nicer clothes when going out to eat. I felt better, but then I tripped up again, I spilled lemonad all over my skirt! I feel like I have messed up bad today. i should have gone to church.