I'm New!

[Green Lantern]

I was raised A "HARDCORE" Catholic for the first 18 years of my life. But I grew very tired of the same old routine, every Sunday. It wasn't untill, a member of my church choir gave me a book called "666", by Salem Kirban, that my life would change forever! In the back of that book was the Salvation Invitation. After reading the book, (& being totally freaked-out by it!), I signed my name after the prayer, & became a Believer. That was 1973!All through college, I was activly involved in both Inter-Varsity Christian Fellowship, & Campus Crusade for Christ. I really made some very close friends during those years!It wasn't until after I had graduated from college, (University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee, Class of December '79), that things really went "south" for me!After my one & only job in my major, (Bachelor of Fine Arts-Technical Theatre), bombed, I started working at another place. I met a girl there, who when I told her that I was still a virgin-well, that was all she needed! She lead me around like the proverbial "bull-with-a-ring-through-it's-nose". (Remember, I had been a HARDCORE Catholic for my first 18 years, & was taught those 18 years-that if I even LOOKED at a woman, I was going to Hell, & then I was a Believer for over, at that time, 4 years-so still no sex). She kept promising me sex, but as I was to discover, she never had any intention of fufilling that "promise". When she dumped me, to say I was devestated, would be an understatement!Looking back on all this, I think the reason I fell away from my Lord for so long, was because, I didn't have the close Christian fellowship, that I had had at college! I fell away from the Lord hard after that! Over 20+years, to be exact!I was extremly racist, I had a hatred for woman, that was, (to say the least), unflattering, I had a mouth that would make most gangsta' rappers cringe, & most of all-I had a hatred for God, that lead to my practically cursing Him 24/7! Not a pretty picture, is it?Oh yes-I also tried to kill myself over 2 dozen time, as well! Everything from Pills, to knives, to carbon Monoxide, even to dousing myself with gasoline & being within millimeters of striking the match!My job situation wasn't any better! I went from one job to the next, never setting down roots anywhere for very long!Well, I had a job, (this was after I moved to Madison), that I thought was ideal! Everybody was very happy with the work that I was doing, & I felt, for the first time in my life-satisfied with my life. Well, I was unjustly accused of something at this job, & that was the straw that broke the proverbial "camels" back! I ended up swallowing 30 sleeping pills, & ended up in the emergency room of one of the hospitals here! And what did I get out of it-a $1400 hospital bill, that it took FOREVER to pay off! Looking back on this, I DO realize that it was indeed the Lord, telling me to get my rear-end over to the hospital, although I didn't realize it at the time.Well, after a long string of temp jobs, I was ready to try suicide again, & this time, I was determined to get it right! I had hit rock bottom. No money, no job, nothing! In my apartment building, I had discovered the internet, because they have a small computer lab here. I now know that it WAS indeed the Lords leading here as well, when I came across a Christian website called Theology Online. Eventually, after trying to disprove Christianity, unsuccesfully I might add, I finally mustered enough courage to ask the people there to pray for me, which they did, because I was really depressed! As I said earlier, it was the Lord that lead me to TOL as well! What surprised me was I even interested in a Christian website, when I hated God so much! Well, HE didn't hate me!Finally, I was ready to get the whole suicide thing right one & for all! I told the Lord that I would give Him one more chance to help me, if He even cared!Well, the Lord again, (Although again, I didn't realize it at the time-sound familiar?), lead me to look in the Yellow pages for a church that had, of all things, a Satuday night service, which I thought was little bit strange. That church was Evangel Life Center-the same church that I am still attending, almost 3 years later! I went there, & sat in the back of the sanctuary. I wasn't there more than 10-15 minutes, when 3 wonderful women came over to talk to me. I told them why I was there, & what I was planning to do. They both prayed for & with me, & like the proverbial "prodigal son, THIS prodigal son finally came back to the the Family of God! That date was 1/11/03-a date that I will never forget!Since that time I have had both ups & downs, like we all have. The "ups" side was fantastic! I had gained an absolutly fearlessness in witnessing-eventually, which lead to my witnessing not just to one person, but to groups of people, both at work & at my apartment bulding as well! What was really cool, was that I just knew exactly what to say! I KNOW that that was the Lord working through me, because I was so totally surrendered to the Lord, it was the greatest experience in my life, that 2 of the people that I had a chance to witness to actually received the Lord as Lord & Savior ON THE SAME DAY! *WOW* But I also have had some major "down" times as well! I did backslide for 6-7 months, I turned my back on God's calling to become a minister,were the top ones!Right now, (4/2/05), I have almost no money, no job, & major medical bills! yet even through that, I will NOT fall away from my Lord again! I have no intention of living that kind of life! I wish that I could say that everything has been going "peachy-neat", fo me, since that time, but I HAVE gone through some very rough times since then.My job situation has been a nightmare. In 2006, combined-I had gone weeks without eating, weeks without food, weeks without a job-all of which lead me to the thing that has affected me the most-turning my back on God's calling to be a minister!This is something that you NEVER want to do! It has just about broken my spirit entirely, & indirectly, lead to me breaking away from the church that I used to go to, ignoring my first Christian board that HAD been going so well, & losing the only family that I ever had IN my church!Still, God HAS been faithful to me! He DID forgive me for turning my back on His calling, has continued to find jobs for me, & lead me to create a new board, whose members also forgave me for not paying attention to them from my old board, & have joined the new board that the Lord lead me to create!THEY are my TRUE family, & I thank God for them!It isn't an easy life, but one that has proven TIME & TIME AGAIN the truth of2 Timothy 2:13 (New International Version)if we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself.I will be posting the Bible studies that the Lord has lead me to do, over the next few weeks. Altought I DO prefer the NIV, I would only ask that instead of the version that I use, that you would look at the observations that the Lord lead me to find instead. If they are NOT Biblical-please don't hesitate to let me know! I am NO biblical scholar-just someone who wants to share what the Lord has revealed to me with others!I hope to have a long relationship with all of you!God Bless!Bill :study:

 

[Shingy]

Thanks for sharing your Testament. I can tell you really know what a struggle is. I'm glad you found your way to realising our God is a relational God and we need a strong relationship with Him. Congrats, and hope to see you around the board.