Hello saints of God, I am asking for prayer for me, my fiance, and the child that I am currently carrying. We are in a new season of our lives and have been going through because of family members. To make this short as possible, Me and my fiance have both been married previously and are divorced from our ex spouses due to their adultery. We were both young during our first marriage, knew what we did wrong and decided that the next marriage would be of God and we will let him decided our spouses for us. Even though he was in the mid-west and I was in the south, we both were on similar pages in getting our life together and having a stronger relationship with God. We were so full of joy in the beginning when we first met and we still are, but we have been in a rocky position because of family.My fiance also helped me with my divorce and yes I was not with my ex for a year almost going on two. My fiance also had asked me to marry him before we knew about my pregnancy. We both have also made changes to the point where we have removed ourselves from negative people and situations because it was not positive or of God.
In October of 2010 I found out that I was pregnant, that day he told his stepfather, who was very Irate, but his mother she was happy. My grandmother was happy, but my mother thought that I was playing, which I found quite awkward since I am 24 and this is my first child and she had me at 17. Things took off to a bad start once we met his parents for dinner towards the end of October 2010. While at dinner his father asked us what did we plan to do since there is a baby in the picture, me and my fiance had already decided before the dinner that we were gonna get married sooner because of the baby and the fact that it would be right in God's eyes. We told his father we want to get married and his parents offered to give us a wedding ceremony since we did not have a chance to have one with our previous marriages. We accepted the offer, once his parents came to my house to meet my grandmother(she raised me) and her boyfriend, as his father left he told us that he wanted us to let him know what the wedding date would be. A few days later we set the wedding date to February. I began to meet with his mother so that we can get an idea about decorations and other things for the wedding. My grandmother told my fiance that she did not want any mess from his family and that she does not want them saying that they paid for everything because she know how people are. After this, then more comments from her came, she began saying things like his parents should have came to my family about the wedding arrangements. I felt that this was not a big deal because I am an adult and also they would not know who to come to. I was raised by my grandmother, but my mother is in my life sometimes too.
During the meeting with the family at my house, my fiance started staying here with me at the time due to issues with roommates. Yes our original plan was to find an apartment, but grandma and her boyfriend suggested that we stay with them and save money for the baby. I did not know also that to my surprise that my grandma had told my mother about his family and what she thought about them. Grandma also made a statement after seeing a photo of my fiance's mother and stepfather, that his mother is not that happy in her marriage as she is pretending to be, now at the time of the statement, she has not met them yet. Me and my mother do not get along, but we have respect for one another and a rocky history. On the day that I spent with my mother in law on ideas for the wedding, I called my mother to confirm that things were legit with us having a ceremony and I felt that it would not be any drama from his parents. My mother immediately started asking questions about us getting a car and other things that should not concern her, since she was never there for me or have helped me with important decisions in my life such as school. I got offended and got off the phone but she text me asking for his mothers number, so i gave it to her. The next day my mother called me back asking me was I pressured into marrying him and all sorts of crazy questions and of course I was offended. I still did not know that grandma was behind it all. My mother called his mother and she was very disrespectful and she was negative when talking about me to his mother, telling her that I do not have a job, my mother has done things to me like this before. His mother was offended and I was heartbroken by the matter.
Now on the flip side, my fiance's family is another story as well. His mother is very sweet and we get along, she has been very encouraging on a christian level and you can see that she lives it. I have attended church with his family as often as we are able to go. His step-father has been the one with the issue on this side of the family. Like I said he was Irate when my fiance told him that I was pregnant, but he has never been disrespectful to me either, he has said some things that I do not agree with. He is a pastor and he has a judgmental attitude. Everything was fine until December 2010 he called my fiance and told him that we were wrong for shacking up together and we are not married. Now mind you, me and my fiance have already asked God to forgive us for the sins that we have committed and God knows that we are baby Christians and are building our family foundation on serving him. We pray together and read the bible!!! I was offended because we have all done bad things and we all had to crawl before we walk and we do not become perfect chritians all our lives, so me and my fiance are working on being magnificent people of God, but in God's eyesight only and not man's. I was also offended, not so much of his judgment, but he suggested that my fiance go get another roommate and leave me until we are married. My fiance has never left my side, this is both our first child. He comes to doctors visits and all. He is taking care of me and I do not have a job, but I am a college student and looking. His stepdad also calls my fiance and they argue and I do not like the comments that he make. I also have to watch out for my fiance's sister because she will take what I say and tell her father(fiance's stepdad) what I have told her. The other thing is that me and my fiance attends his families church and the pastor is his fathers teacher at a theological college. We have been to one session of counseling already with the pastor, but the pastor has went back and told some things to his father. This was revealed to us at the Christmas party that was given by the church. I love his mother, but his father is okay as long as he does not disrespect me, he claims that he is happy about the baby and all. The weird part is that he claims he like me, but although he judges he still helps us out too.
The wedding is almost a month away, I have not really had any help from my family. My mother bought my dress, which was shocking, but i still feel a funny vibe from her. Me and my fiance has been staying in prayer constantly and promised that in 2011 things will get better. Another issue is that my grandma waits until my fiance leaves and she will pick with me. I cannot go into the kitchen and cook without her watching me and telling me what I need to do. My grandma can be a negative person and many have told me this and I did not want to believe it because she is family. I have noticed that she is. Alot of times I have to go with her to the grocery store, handle all her business for her and sometimes I do not have time for myself. Most of these things she is capable of doing and she is not handicapped. Recently I was helping her after her neck surgery until she is well. I dont like that fact that she does not want to pick up heavy items, but expects me to and at the time i was 4mths pregnant. She also fusses about who left the light on in the kitchen when her boyfriend is the last one to leave. Every time you look around she is basically trying to find things to fuss about and we try so hard to avoid the confrontation. She told my brother recently that no one helped her after surgery, which is a lie, even my fiance took off from work because she was not feeling well. We cannot discuss the wedding or baby, she is negative about that too. Her and my mother have been discussing me with their friends in a negative way. One of their friends was very disrespectful assuming that I am not gonna take care of my baby and that my grandma will raise it, like my mother did with me being raised by my grandma. Grandma also got upset that I told her that "if god has something for you, no one can take it away." i was saying that pertaining to a job that my husband just got and she figured that his manager at his previous job was gonna block it, I told her that God is faithful and no one can block anything he has for you, whether they talk good or bad about you, she got offended. My mothers other friend, which is an ex mother in law of hers, has been asking my brother questions about my and my fiance, which also lets me know that she has told them things. I just found out that my hunch was right. During the course of events my ears as well as my fiance's ears have been ringing heavily. We did not expect for things to blow up as much, all over his family wanting to throw a ceremony. I found out recently that my grandma started this with me and my family because she and her boyfriend assumed that his family was pressuring us into marriage. She has her own assumptions about them and it is wrong. At the end of it all, a child is involved and they will have to cross paths with these people whether they want to or not. I refuse to have my child told many lies from my side. My side is more of a problem than his. Grandma has done more things also, i could ask a question and get a dirty look without having to do anything to her.
This hurts me and upsets me, but through it all, God has blessed my fiance and I with the job that will help us. I am asking for prayer and spiritual guidance because this has been very overwhelming for me because I am pregnant, very emotional. I have cried many days and I am starting to have chest pains also. My fiance has helped my grandma in many ways and he is very respectful to her. He has taken off work when she did not feel well to take her to the emergency room and many more things. Even though his dad has said judgmental things and they argue I still tell my fiance to do the christian thing and apologize, no matter who was in the wrong. Things are getting better between them and God has worked it out. I actually have been contemplating about the wedding ceremony, but still gonna get married, because of these issues. I dont want to feel negativity at my wedding or see division. I know God is gonna work it out, I have faith!!!!! I just need prayer and spiritual guidance because I feel spiritual warfare going on. The good news is that we are looking for an apartment to move into next month, but the tension at the house is heavy and its not fair to us, especially not my fiance, who did not do a thing to this woman.
What my family must understand is that I would like support from them once, instead of bringing up my past and wrongs, when God has forgiven me. I wish they would stop dogging me out and be there. They always second guess me and I end up victorious all the time. In my life God has been there for me when no one would not help me enroll in college or anything else, so I consult with God in all I do and to make decisions for me and give me wisdom and knowledge on the way and not them.
In October of 2010 I found out that I was pregnant, that day he told his stepfather, who was very Irate, but his mother she was happy. My grandmother was happy, but my mother thought that I was playing, which I found quite awkward since I am 24 and this is my first child and she had me at 17. Things took off to a bad start once we met his parents for dinner towards the end of October 2010. While at dinner his father asked us what did we plan to do since there is a baby in the picture, me and my fiance had already decided before the dinner that we were gonna get married sooner because of the baby and the fact that it would be right in God's eyes. We told his father we want to get married and his parents offered to give us a wedding ceremony since we did not have a chance to have one with our previous marriages. We accepted the offer, once his parents came to my house to meet my grandmother(she raised me) and her boyfriend, as his father left he told us that he wanted us to let him know what the wedding date would be. A few days later we set the wedding date to February. I began to meet with his mother so that we can get an idea about decorations and other things for the wedding. My grandmother told my fiance that she did not want any mess from his family and that she does not want them saying that they paid for everything because she know how people are. After this, then more comments from her came, she began saying things like his parents should have came to my family about the wedding arrangements. I felt that this was not a big deal because I am an adult and also they would not know who to come to. I was raised by my grandmother, but my mother is in my life sometimes too.
During the meeting with the family at my house, my fiance started staying here with me at the time due to issues with roommates. Yes our original plan was to find an apartment, but grandma and her boyfriend suggested that we stay with them and save money for the baby. I did not know also that to my surprise that my grandma had told my mother about his family and what she thought about them. Grandma also made a statement after seeing a photo of my fiance's mother and stepfather, that his mother is not that happy in her marriage as she is pretending to be, now at the time of the statement, she has not met them yet. Me and my mother do not get along, but we have respect for one another and a rocky history. On the day that I spent with my mother in law on ideas for the wedding, I called my mother to confirm that things were legit with us having a ceremony and I felt that it would not be any drama from his parents. My mother immediately started asking questions about us getting a car and other things that should not concern her, since she was never there for me or have helped me with important decisions in my life such as school. I got offended and got off the phone but she text me asking for his mothers number, so i gave it to her. The next day my mother called me back asking me was I pressured into marrying him and all sorts of crazy questions and of course I was offended. I still did not know that grandma was behind it all. My mother called his mother and she was very disrespectful and she was negative when talking about me to his mother, telling her that I do not have a job, my mother has done things to me like this before. His mother was offended and I was heartbroken by the matter.
Now on the flip side, my fiance's family is another story as well. His mother is very sweet and we get along, she has been very encouraging on a christian level and you can see that she lives it. I have attended church with his family as often as we are able to go. His step-father has been the one with the issue on this side of the family. Like I said he was Irate when my fiance told him that I was pregnant, but he has never been disrespectful to me either, he has said some things that I do not agree with. He is a pastor and he has a judgmental attitude. Everything was fine until December 2010 he called my fiance and told him that we were wrong for shacking up together and we are not married. Now mind you, me and my fiance have already asked God to forgive us for the sins that we have committed and God knows that we are baby Christians and are building our family foundation on serving him. We pray together and read the bible!!! I was offended because we have all done bad things and we all had to crawl before we walk and we do not become perfect chritians all our lives, so me and my fiance are working on being magnificent people of God, but in God's eyesight only and not man's. I was also offended, not so much of his judgment, but he suggested that my fiance go get another roommate and leave me until we are married. My fiance has never left my side, this is both our first child. He comes to doctors visits and all. He is taking care of me and I do not have a job, but I am a college student and looking. His stepdad also calls my fiance and they argue and I do not like the comments that he make. I also have to watch out for my fiance's sister because she will take what I say and tell her father(fiance's stepdad) what I have told her. The other thing is that me and my fiance attends his families church and the pastor is his fathers teacher at a theological college. We have been to one session of counseling already with the pastor, but the pastor has went back and told some things to his father. This was revealed to us at the Christmas party that was given by the church. I love his mother, but his father is okay as long as he does not disrespect me, he claims that he is happy about the baby and all. The weird part is that he claims he like me, but although he judges he still helps us out too.
The wedding is almost a month away, I have not really had any help from my family. My mother bought my dress, which was shocking, but i still feel a funny vibe from her. Me and my fiance has been staying in prayer constantly and promised that in 2011 things will get better. Another issue is that my grandma waits until my fiance leaves and she will pick with me. I cannot go into the kitchen and cook without her watching me and telling me what I need to do. My grandma can be a negative person and many have told me this and I did not want to believe it because she is family. I have noticed that she is. Alot of times I have to go with her to the grocery store, handle all her business for her and sometimes I do not have time for myself. Most of these things she is capable of doing and she is not handicapped. Recently I was helping her after her neck surgery until she is well. I dont like that fact that she does not want to pick up heavy items, but expects me to and at the time i was 4mths pregnant. She also fusses about who left the light on in the kitchen when her boyfriend is the last one to leave. Every time you look around she is basically trying to find things to fuss about and we try so hard to avoid the confrontation. She told my brother recently that no one helped her after surgery, which is a lie, even my fiance took off from work because she was not feeling well. We cannot discuss the wedding or baby, she is negative about that too. Her and my mother have been discussing me with their friends in a negative way. One of their friends was very disrespectful assuming that I am not gonna take care of my baby and that my grandma will raise it, like my mother did with me being raised by my grandma. Grandma also got upset that I told her that "if god has something for you, no one can take it away." i was saying that pertaining to a job that my husband just got and she figured that his manager at his previous job was gonna block it, I told her that God is faithful and no one can block anything he has for you, whether they talk good or bad about you, she got offended. My mothers other friend, which is an ex mother in law of hers, has been asking my brother questions about my and my fiance, which also lets me know that she has told them things. I just found out that my hunch was right. During the course of events my ears as well as my fiance's ears have been ringing heavily. We did not expect for things to blow up as much, all over his family wanting to throw a ceremony. I found out recently that my grandma started this with me and my family because she and her boyfriend assumed that his family was pressuring us into marriage. She has her own assumptions about them and it is wrong. At the end of it all, a child is involved and they will have to cross paths with these people whether they want to or not. I refuse to have my child told many lies from my side. My side is more of a problem than his. Grandma has done more things also, i could ask a question and get a dirty look without having to do anything to her.
This hurts me and upsets me, but through it all, God has blessed my fiance and I with the job that will help us. I am asking for prayer and spiritual guidance because this has been very overwhelming for me because I am pregnant, very emotional. I have cried many days and I am starting to have chest pains also. My fiance has helped my grandma in many ways and he is very respectful to her. He has taken off work when she did not feel well to take her to the emergency room and many more things. Even though his dad has said judgmental things and they argue I still tell my fiance to do the christian thing and apologize, no matter who was in the wrong. Things are getting better between them and God has worked it out. I actually have been contemplating about the wedding ceremony, but still gonna get married, because of these issues. I dont want to feel negativity at my wedding or see division. I know God is gonna work it out, I have faith!!!!! I just need prayer and spiritual guidance because I feel spiritual warfare going on. The good news is that we are looking for an apartment to move into next month, but the tension at the house is heavy and its not fair to us, especially not my fiance, who did not do a thing to this woman.
What my family must understand is that I would like support from them once, instead of bringing up my past and wrongs, when God has forgiven me. I wish they would stop dogging me out and be there. They always second guess me and I end up victorious all the time. In my life God has been there for me when no one would not help me enroll in college or anything else, so I consult with God in all I do and to make decisions for me and give me wisdom and knowledge on the way and not them.
