Marrying a devout Christian girl from France

[Chrétien]

I don’t know where to post this but anyway,

I’m a 18yo Christian male wishing to find a sweet, innocent, devout Christian teenage girl in France to marry, but I don’t know how I can find the right one. I have heard many Frenchmen in their twenties & thirties complaining that they can’t find one, that there are no young people in churches, that there are no virgin girls anymore, that there are no really Christian girls anymore, that everyone cheats these days, that they will be forever alone etc, it’s horrific I’m starting to get worried and afraid that I’m predestined to be single & lonely for the rest of my life. All the girls I see look like they’re ******** with everyone, or simply not worthy of marriage, I’m so sad I’m even feeling like I’m drifting away from God, I feel that I can’t survive alone and that I’m going to get depressed if I find myself without anyone, my mast- addiction has got worse and I feel so guilty & worthless now. I will first deal with sexual immorality so that I can be clean and meet the girl of my dreams, but I fear so much that I will never find her and live lonely & depressed forever. I fear even more that I will lose my faith in God and my soul be stolen by some kind of occult or pagan cult, I don’t want this to happen but I see myself very weak if I find myself with nobody in the future, I really need a female in my life I can’t see myself living alone, and I’m feeling more hopeless than ever, please help!

 

[JohnDB]

Hope is needed...so is faith.

The pandemic is ending... slowly.
And cheaters have been around for thousands of years...on both sides.

Moral character and purity are not impossible to find...they are just more difficult to find than what is common. That's why they are precious... valuable.

And since you want something extraordinary in your marital relationship... something special and unique it's going to require more time than average. You aren't going to find what you are looking for at the local pub or patisserie house. It's going to require some searching.

It's not like they advertise themselves. That means real relationships with lots of people who you genuinely care about. Slowly people who have character and morals will fill your friend "roster". They in turn will help you find what you are looking for. Because that's what friends do. It's worked this way for thousands of years...

 

[Chrétien]

Hope is needed...so is faith.

The pandemic is ending... slowly.
And cheaters have been around for thousands of years...on both sides.

Moral character and purity are not impossible to find...they are just more difficult to find than what is common. That's why they are precious... valuable.

And since you want something extraordinary in your marital relationship... something special and unique it's going to require more time than average. You aren't going to find what you are looking for at the local pub or patisserie house. It's going to require some searching.

It's not like they advertise themselves. That means real relationships with lots of people who you genuinely care about. Slowly people who have character and morals will fill your friend "roster". They in turn will help you find what you are looking for. Because that's what friends do. It's worked this way for thousands of years...

Ok, thank you for your comfort.

 

[TheslightestID]

that there are no virgin girls anymore,

There is no law, or rule from God that says you have to marry a virgin.

People do repent and become good people, and know, none of us were ever perfect.

 

[Chrétien]

There is no law, or rule from God that says you have to marry a virgin.

People do repent and become good people, and know, none of us were ever perfect.

If there were partners, there will be partners.

 

[quietthinker]

18 hey! ...mate, you've got lots of time! Lots of time to work out personalities and characters and to work out yourself and in the process gain some life experience. Marriage is not for the faint hearted if one wants it to be a walk where each supports the other.

Which girl in their right mind would choose a man barely out of school? So cheer up and set your mind to establishing friendships.

 

[TheslightestID]

If there were partners, there will be partners.

I don't know what you mean?

EDIT

Ok, I see, but no, not necessarily. As mentioned, people repent of their sin all the time, and some don't go back to it.

Sounds like you are looking for guaranteed perfection, and I have to wonder, are you that?

 

[Wynona]

Proverbs 18:22
King James Version

22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.


My husband married me at 19. I don't think you're too young.

I posted the above verse because you will have to search to find a good wife. A virtuous woman is often hidden and she will only reveal herself if God puts you on her heart.

Have you prayed that God will lead you in your search?

Do you have Godly people you can let know that you're looking seriously for someone of good character to date?

Are you prepared mentally, financially, and emotionally for marriage?

At your age, this may simply look like being prepared to work hard to provide, being prepared to start out with a little and go from there, being prepared to meet her parents, asking her father's blessing if she is young enough, finding a place for you two to live, etc

People may discourage you from seeking a wife because they'll say you should be satisfied on your own.

I don't agree. Adam needed Eve and Eve's role was to help Adam. Men, especially young men, need help and having a wife can really help a man focus. I think your desire for a virtuous wife is from the Lord and He may be calling you to marry young in life. Nothing wrong with that.

Nothing wrong with knowing what you want and not desiring promiscuity or a string of unsuccessful relationships.

Nothing really fully prepares you to be married anyway.

You can use your time wisely in the meantime by getting your life in order as much as possible. I will pray that God leads you to a virtuous wife in His will.

 

[Chrétien]

I don't know what you mean?

EDIT

Ok, I see, but no, not necessarily. As mentioned, people repent of their sin all the time, and some don't go back to it.

Sounds like you are looking for guaranteed perfection, and I have to wonder, are you that?

The number of premarital sex partners is correlated with the likelihood of divorce. While a few may repent it with their heart and not do it again (extremely rare) the majority of those are "Christians" who say they repent it but will jump to their attentive friend's bed after a while & file a divorce the following morning after the long porn session with their twentieth-something partner. I'd rather find a virgin and wipe out this problem.

And no, not only I'm not looking for perfection, but I simply can't find it. Virgins are sinners too. It's really that demanding to insist on having a virgin wife? This has been done for thousands of years in thousands of societies. Even in tribal African cultures virginity is held as a virtue. So what's wrong with that after all? I'm a virgin as well so why can't I seek out a virgin?

 

[Chrétien]

18 hey! ...mate, you've got lots of time! Lots of time to work out personalities and characters and to work out yourself and in the process gain some life experience. Marriage is not for the faint hearted if one wants it to be a walk where each supports the other.

Which girl in their right mind would choose a man barely out of school? So cheer up and set your mind to establishing friendships.

What personalities and characters? Which kind of life experience? And which kind of friendships?

Are you expecting me to be a bad boy, party hard and sleep with entire colleges or what? Because I really HATE such lifestyle.

 

[Marc RL Ministry]

18 hey! ...mate, you've got lots of time! Lots of time to work out personalities and characters and to work out yourself and in the process gain some life experience. Marriage is not for the faint hearted if one wants it to be a walk where each supports the other.

Which girl in their right mind would choose a man barely out of school? So cheer up and set your mind to establishing friendships.

Very wise words above, my advise brother is to seek the kingdom of God and he will provide you the rest you wont even need to look for a wife!

Matthew 6:33 KJV
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

 

[quietthinker]

What personalities and characters? Which kind of life experience? And which kind of friendships?

Are you expecting me to be a bad boy, party hard and sleep with entire colleges or what? Because I really HATE such lifestyle.

My reference is about getting to understand the opposite sex and no reference to being a bad boy.

 

[Chrétien]

My reference is about getting to understand the opposite sex and no reference to being a bad boy.

And what's understanding the opposite sex?

 

[Chrétien]

Proverbs 18:22
King James Version

22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.


My husband married me at 19. I don't think you're too young.

I posted the above verse because you will have to search to find a good wife. A virtuous woman is often hidden and she will only reveal herself if God puts you on her heart.

Have you prayed that God will lead you in your search?

Do you have Godly people you can let know that you're looking seriously for someone of good character to date?

Are you prepared mentally, financially, and emotionally for marriage?

At your age, this may simply look like being prepared to work hard to provide, being prepared to start out with a little and go from there, being prepared to meet her parents, asking her father's blessing if she is young enough, finding a place for you two to live, etc

People may discourage you from seeking a wife because they'll say you should be satisfied on your own.

I don't agree. Adam needed Eve and Eve's role was to help Adam. Men, especially young men, need help and having a wife can really help a man focus. I think your desire for a virtuous wife is from the Lord and He may be calling you to marry young in life. Nothing wrong with that.

Nothing wrong with knowing what you want and not desiring promiscuity or a string of unsuccessful relationships.

Nothing really fully prepares you to be married anyway.

You can use your time wisely in the meantime by getting your life in order as much as possible. I will pray that God leads you to a virtuous wife in His will.

Ok. Not yet. I'm now struggling with onanism & trying to stay chaste for a while before going for a wife so that I can exercise self-control in the future. I fear that my lust will jump once I find & meet her and that I will unconsciously engage in premarital sex with her due to my impulses. Not to say if she's a pale-skinned, blue-eyed girl. I'd really love a wife with such features but my hormones would explode, so this is why I'm learning to control myself first. I do prefer pale-skinned and blue-eyed girls though, and really wish to get one of these.

Yes, I have told about this to my parents but they say that I have to get a job.

Maybe I'm not fully prepared for a marriage, but still prefer it to singleness by a wide margin. There's nothing as feeling a delightful pale-skinned, blue-eyed girl filled with the Holy Spirit by your side.

This is all so true. Thank you so much!

 

[quietthinker]

And what's understanding the opposite sex?

thats what you need to learn

 

[Chrétien]

thats what you need to learn

what???

 

[quietthinker]

what???

what is it that you don't understand about what I said

 

[Chrétien]

what is it that you don't understand about what I said

What do you even mean by understanding the opposite sex?

 

[quietthinker]

What do you even mean by understanding the opposite sex?

getting to know what makes them tick....their values, their vision, their goals, hopes, fears, priorities, direction.....but all this is unhelpful if you are not clear of your own....not in lip service ie, yada yada but in objective reality.

 

[Chrétien]

getting to know what makes them tick....their values, their vision, their goals, hopes, fears, priorities, direction.....but all this is unhelpful if you are not clear of your own....not in lip service ie, yada yada but in objective reality.

Ok, but I'm looking for a girl with my same values, vision, goals, hopes, fears, priorities etc, otherwise we will have problems in the future. Is this what you mean?