Me: The Prodigal Apostate

[Adrift]

I've read that apostasy is a state of rebellion against what you know to be true. That seems illogical to me. In the Army (1965-68), I definitely lost my faith and became an apostate due to biblical teachings that I thought were untrue. If I knew it to be true, why would I not believe it? I was convinced that I only believed in Christianity because, as a child, everyone around me did. I considered it like a child learning colors. Something was only green or blue because that is what I was told. It wasn't until years and many books later that I realized the truth and came to believe in salvation by grace through faith. Peter denied Christ 3 times. I dismissed him several more times than Peter. I'm not sure, but I think that the Holy Spirit (or however you choose to twist it), worked on my heart to help me understand the Gospel. Of course, that only works if you read it.

The bottom line is that I truly believe that my apostasy actually served to strengthen my current acceptance of Christ and his teachings. My disbelief was instrumental in causing me to search for truth deeper than if I had decided that I was comfortable swimming in the lonely circle of atheism. My uneasiness and lack of purpose in atheism drove me to seek a higher truth.

In essence, I believe that my tempoary stint as an apostate fortuitously served to embolden my Christian convictions. I was lost and now I'm found.

 

[marks]

The bottom line is that I truly believe that my apostasy actually served to strengthen my current acceptance of Christ and his teachings.

I can relate. When I was in my teens, I had discarded the Christian teaching I'd received as a child. Instead I was busy exploring everything else, from the Hindu writings, the Book of the Hopi, Edger Cayce, Seth Speaks, literally anything I could get my hands on, and was becoming very new age, and being introduced into Wicca.

When I was 19, after looking at all these different things, I read a couple of books that turned my attention to the Bible prophecies. And it was then I realized that the Bible was unlike anything else I'd read. And I share the same result, a greater assurance of the truth of Scripture.

Much love!

 

[O'Darby]

I've read that apostasy is a state of rebellion against what you know to be true. That seems illogical to me. In the Army (1965-68), I definitely lost my faith and became an apostate due to biblical teachings that I thought were untrue. If I knew it to be true, why would I not believe it? I was convinced that I only believed in Christianity because, as a child, everyone around me did. I considered it like a child learning colors. Something was only green or blue because that is what I was told. It wasn't until years and many books later that I realized the truth and came to believe in salvation by grace through faith. Peter denied Christ 3 times. I dismissed him several more times than Peter. I'm not sure, but I think that the Holy Spirit (or however you choose to twist it), worked on my heart to help me understand the Gospel. Of course, that only works if you read it.

The bottom line is that I truly believe that my apostasy actually served to strengthen my current acceptance of Christ and his teachings. My disbelief was instrumental in causing me to search for truth deeper than if I had decided that I was comfortable swimming in the lonely circle of atheism. My uneasiness and lack of purpose in atheism drove me to seek a higher truth.

In essence, I believe that my tempoary stint as an apostate fortuitously served to embolden my Christian convictions. I was lost and now I'm found.

I don't know whether you read my testimony, but I went from a startling born-again experience in 1970 to immediately questioning its validity to finally accepting its validity decades later. Not too dissimilar from what you're describing. I likewise think the decades of doubting and questioning were central to my having something like a "real faith" rather than a superficial "mostly pretend" faith.

O'Darby's Slightly Odd Testimony

My long and winding journey from being born again to actually believing.

www.christianityboard.com

 

[Adrift]

I don't know whether you read my testimony, but I went from a startling born-again experience in 1970 to immediately questioning its validity to finally accepting its validity decades later. Not too dissimilar from what you're describing. I likewise think the decades of doubting and questioning were central to my having something like a "real faith" rather than a superficial "mostly pretend" faith.

O'Darby's Slightly Odd Testimony

My long and winding journey from being born again to actually believing.

www.christianityboard.com

I'm still reading through your blog sections. Reading some of your perspectives, I sense that we may have alot in common.

 

[O'Darby]

I'm still reading through your blog sections. Reading some of your perspectives, I sense that we may have alot in common.

I'm glad you like some of them. I write them almost directly off the top of my head as "inspiration" (?) strikes. One maddening thing is what I used to experience with appellate briefs as a lawyer. I would proofread them until I was cross-eyed, but IMMEDIATELY upon putting them in the mail two typos would leap out at me! It's disappointing that the blog feature here doesn't allow editing or comments.

 

[Adrift]

I'm glad you like some of them. I write them almost directly off the top of my head as "inspiration" (?) strikes. One maddening thing is what I used to experience with appellate briefs as a lawyer. I would proofread them until I was cross-eyed, but IMMEDIATELY upon putting them in the mail two typos would leap out at me! It's disappointing that the blog feature here doesn't allow editing or comments.

Well, if you could edit, we might lose some of your "hot off the press" intuitive perspectives. Analytical algorithms can be somewhat vacuous at times.

 

[Pearl]

I've read that apostasy is a state of rebellion against what you know to be true. That seems illogical to me. In the Army (1965-68), I definitely lost my faith and became an apostate due to biblical teachings that I thought were untrue. If I knew it to be true, why would I not believe it? I was convinced that I only believed in Christianity because, as a child, everyone around me did. I considered it like a child learning colors. Something was only green or blue because that is what I was told. It wasn't until years and many books later that I realized the truth and came to believe in salvation by grace through faith. Peter denied Christ 3 times. I dismissed him several more times than Peter. I'm not sure, but I think that the Holy Spirit (or however you choose to twist it), worked on my heart to help me understand the Gospel. Of course, that only works if you read it.

The bottom line is that I truly believe that my apostasy actually served to strengthen my current acceptance of Christ and his teachings. My disbelief was instrumental in causing me to search for truth deeper than if I had decided that I was comfortable swimming in the lonely circle of atheism. My uneasiness and lack of purpose in atheism drove me to seek a higher truth.

In essence, I believe that my tempoary stint as an apostate fortuitously served to embolden my Christian convictions. I was lost and now I'm found.

Until I was in my 30s I believed myself to be a Christian because I had always gone to Sunday school and church as a child but then somebody gave me a little book called 'Journey into life' which explained that in order to become a Christian there are certain steps you need to take. And I wasted no time in accepting that I was a sinner in need of forgiveness and then I truly became born again - a Christian. best decision I ever made.