My Delimma

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mikey7622

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Just wanted to say hello this is my first post and would really appreciate others' thoughts It's been hard for me to get to the point that I feel comfortable sharing.
I had problems with lust as a teenager but didn't think much of it being a young man. When I professed salvation at 16 I asked for forgiveness of my sins, and believed that Jesus is the son of God, and I asked him to come into my heart and lead and guide me in all things. It was only a few days later that the lust issue popped up again and as I grew its outlet became pornography.
Here I am 30 years later and still struggling more often than not, and I feel incredibly bad because I can't seem to let go of the urge to watch it and now to make matters worse I've sought to have an online affair (that thankfully has been fruitless up to this point). Every day I pray that the Lord will help me with the urge but it doesn't matter how hard I ask, I always will break down and attempt to find someone or look at something that I shouldn't.
What it is that I'm not able to grasp here that will be the key to me overcoming this once and for all? It keeps my spirit in such turmoil that I'm miserable every day, and what's more, I'm in a position of leadership at church.
I'm truly not happy in sin, and not satisfied apparently in the spirit. Thanks for reading!
 
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marks

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Just wanted to say hello this is my first post and would really appreciate others' thoughts It's been hard for me to get to the point that I feel comfortable sharing.
I had problems with lust as a teenager but didn't think much of it being a young man. When I professed salvation at 16 I asked for forgiveness of my sins, and believed that Jesus is the son of God, and I asked him to come into my heart and lead and guide me in all things. It was only a few days later that the lust issue popped up again and as I grew its outlet became pornography.
Here I am 30 years later and still struggling more often than not, and I feel incredibly bad because I can't seem to let go of the urge to watch it and now to make matters worse I've sought to have an online affair (that thankfully has been fruitless up to this point). Every day I pray that the Lord will help me with the urge but it doesn't matter how hard I ask, I always will break down and attempt to find someone or look at something that I shouldn't.
What it is that I'm not able to grasp here that will be the key to me overcoming this once and for all? It keeps my spirit in such turmoil that I'm miserable every day, and what's more, I'm in a position of leadership at church.
I'm truly not happy in sin, and not satisfied apparently in the spirit. Thanks for reading!
Do you really truly want out? You can be free.

Much love!
 

Michiah-Imla

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pornography

Here I am 30 years later and still struggling more often than not, and I feel incredibly bad because I can't seem to let go of the urge to watch it

what's more, I'm in a position of leadership at church.

O dear goodness!

Mikey, I would quote Bible but I suspect you are already familiar with the passages related to this problem.

But do you believe you can never loose your salvation?
 

Ziggy

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Hello @mikey7622
Nice to meet you and welcome to the Forum.

Temptations are everywhere and the devil knows your weak spots.
Focus on the Lord.
Instead of going on the internet looking for porn, change your focus and look for something that draws you closer to God.
I love music. Music keeps me focused.
If I am feeling a certain way I will go on youtube and find a song that relates to how I'm feeling.
Instead of looking at something that you shouldn't, look at something that changes your focus.

Find a song and make it yours. Sing it, listen to it, put you're heart in it.
When you feel led in one direction... change it.

This is my song when I feel sad or lonely or angry or anything that takes my focus off the Lord.
I hope this helps.
Praying for you.
Hugs


and this one:

 

quietthinker

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Just wanted to say hello this is my first post and would really appreciate others' thoughts It's been hard for me to get to the point that I feel comfortable sharing.
I had problems with lust as a teenager but didn't think much of it being a young man. When I professed salvation at 16 I asked for forgiveness of my sins, and believed that Jesus is the son of God, and I asked him to come into my heart and lead and guide me in all things. It was only a few days later that the lust issue popped up again and as I grew its outlet became pornography.
Here I am 30 years later and still struggling more often than not, and I feel incredibly bad because I can't seem to let go of the urge to watch it and now to make matters worse I've sought to have an online affair (that thankfully has been fruitless up to this point). Every day I pray that the Lord will help me with the urge but it doesn't matter how hard I ask, I always will break down and attempt to find someone or look at something that I shouldn't.
What it is that I'm not able to grasp here that will be the key to me overcoming this once and for all? It keeps my spirit in such turmoil that I'm miserable every day, and what's more, I'm in a position of leadership at church.
I'm truly not happy in sin, and not satisfied apparently in the spirit. Thanks for reading!
It's a good thing you have a Saviour.....without him, there is no hope at all.
You have been bitten by one of those serpents in the wilderness.....continue look to him who will save......and if your curiosity is aroused, check out the podcasts mentioned in my signature.
 

stunnedbygrace

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Just wanted to say hello this is my first post and would really appreciate others' thoughts It's been hard for me to get to the point that I feel comfortable sharing.
I had problems with lust as a teenager but didn't think much of it being a young man. When I professed salvation at 16 I asked for forgiveness of my sins, and believed that Jesus is the son of God, and I asked him to come into my heart and lead and guide me in all things. It was only a few days later that the lust issue popped up again and as I grew its outlet became pornography.
Here I am 30 years later and still struggling more often than not, and I feel incredibly bad because I can't seem to let go of the urge to watch it and now to make matters worse I've sought to have an online affair (that thankfully has been fruitless up to this point). Every day I pray that the Lord will help me with the urge but it doesn't matter how hard I ask, I always will break down and attempt to find someone or look at something that I shouldn't.
What it is that I'm not able to grasp here that will be the key to me overcoming this once and for all? It keeps my spirit in such turmoil that I'm miserable every day, and what's more, I'm in a position of leadership at church.
I'm truly not happy in sin, and not satisfied apparently in the spirit. Thanks for reading!
All I can do is share with you that I never had any control over my flesh (my besetting sin was murder) until He calmed my passions/weaned me from my flesh. All I could do was make a good show of the outside of my cup. And I struggled in that manner for over a decade until I realized I was never going to be able to change it and would have to keep asking Him for the power to overcome. I also realized that we ALL were the same in that. So really, asking others stuck in the same boat as me was not going to help me. I was looking for the way to stop it, which was putting confidence in my own strength and power and ability and capability.
And once I realized I just had to wait for Him to do something, I had not so much turmoil over what I was AND I had more compassion for others and began to hope for His working.
 
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Deborah_

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Just wanted to say hello this is my first post and would really appreciate others' thoughts It's been hard for me to get to the point that I feel comfortable sharing.
I had problems with lust as a teenager but didn't think much of it being a young man. When I professed salvation at 16 I asked for forgiveness of my sins, and believed that Jesus is the son of God, and I asked him to come into my heart and lead and guide me in all things. It was only a few days later that the lust issue popped up again and as I grew its outlet became pornography.
Here I am 30 years later and still struggling more often than not, and I feel incredibly bad because I can't seem to let go of the urge to watch it and now to make matters worse I've sought to have an online affair (that thankfully has been fruitless up to this point). Every day I pray that the Lord will help me with the urge but it doesn't matter how hard I ask, I always will break down and attempt to find someone or look at something that I shouldn't.
What it is that I'm not able to grasp here that will be the key to me overcoming this once and for all? It keeps my spirit in such turmoil that I'm miserable every day, and what's more, I'm in a position of leadership at church.
I'm truly not happy in sin, and not satisfied apparently in the spirit. Thanks for reading!
Hello, and welcome.

What you describe is such a common experience. You decide to follow Christ, you look forward to being delivered from sin... and then you quickly discover that we can't shake sin off altogether in this life. Most of us have at least one besetting sin, a particular weakness, that continually dogs our footsteps and that no amount of prayer or self-discipline seems able to shift.

There are some things that you can do. Some people find counselling helpful (if you choose your counsellor carefully) - the lust may be a symptom of some other major issue in your life that needs dealing with. Some people are helped by having a personal mentor to whom they are accountable and who will pray for them. And if you want to keep temptation out of your mind, one good technique is to fill your mind with something else - something godly. Simple lifestyle changes can also help to reduce the pressure on you: since the Internet offers you so many opportunities for sinning, cut yourself off from it as much as you can! Watching pornography is generally a solo activity, so try cutting down the amount of time you spend on your own.

Maybe you've already tried all these things, but the main thing is to keep on fighting and not just surrender. Every time you go to God and confess your sin, He will forgive you. That's His promise!
 

GRACE ambassador

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When I professed salvation at 16 I asked for forgiveness of my sins, and believed that Jesus is the son of God, and I asked him to come into my heart and lead and guide me in all things.
Precious friend, A Very Warm Welcome to the Board. I will pray for you.

When you professed salvation, did you "believe with all your heart" that God, The SON,
Jesus Christ, "Died for your sin, was Buried, and Rose Again,
According To The Scriptures"?

If you did not do this, then please start here:

Grace, Peace, And JOY!…

Second, saturation with The Scriptures Every day = a LOT LESS sin in our lives, And:

Please Be Very RICHLY Encouraged, Enlightened, Exhorted, And Edified In
The LORD JESUS CHRIST, And In His Word Of Truth, Rightly
Divided
! (+ I and II!) ← After 100 % faith, then comes study, for "Approval Unto God!"

Hope these help you on your "growth In God's Grace" journey, and let me know if you any questions...
 
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sheariah07

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What it is that I'm not able to grasp here that will be the key to me overcoming this once and for all? It keeps my spirit in such turmoil that I'm miserable every day, and what's more, I'm in a position of leadership at church.

Hello! Ask God to give you the fear of him. Have you been prioritizing seeking God and his will? This is his command that we love him above all. Do you meditate on his word daily?

Proverbs 16:6 KJV
By mercy and truth iniquity is purged: and by the fear of the Lord men depart from evil.

Ask Jesus to completely deliver you from your sin. You cannot with your own effort to battle with it, this is what you need to grasp. Read Romans 7, a man who keeps fighting sin but fails over and over again, you must come to faith that only Jesus can save you from committing it and that he is able to completely deliver you from your sins. (Romans 8)
 
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Gottservant

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Something that has helped me, is imagining a partner who shares the same desire to be chaste.

Married, but without the union - if you will.

A lot of our desire, is just to do with the company of a like minded soul.

The Devil can offer you all sorts of pleasure, but he can't offer you a soul.
 

TLHKAJ

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Precious friend, A Very Warm Welcome to the Board. I will pray for you.

When you professed salvation, did you "believe with all your heart" that God, The SON,
Jesus Christ, "Died for your sin, was Buried, and Rose Again,
According To The Scriptures"?

If you did not do this, then please start here:

Grace, Peace, And JOY!…

Second, saturation with The Scriptures Every day = a LOT LESS sin in our lives, And:

Please Be Very RICHLY Encouraged, Enlightened, Exhorted, And Edified In
The LORD JESUS CHRIST, And In His Word Of Truth, Rightly
Divided
! (+ I and II!) ← After 100 % faith, then comes study, for "Approval Unto God!"

Hope these help you on your "growth In God's Grace" journey, and let me know if you any questions...
Amen. This may sound very basic to some, but it is very sound Biblical advice.

Psalm 119:9-16
[9]BETH. Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed thereto according to thy word.

[10]With my whole heart have I sought thee: O let me not wander from thy commandments.
[11]Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.
[12]Blessed art thou, O LORD: teach me thy statutes.
[13]With my lips have I declared all the judgments of thy mouth.
[14]I have rejoiced in the way of thy testimonies, as much as in all riches.
[15]I will meditate in thy precepts, and have respect unto thy ways.

[16]I will delight myself in thy statutes: I will not forget thy word.
 
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Zachariah

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Just wanted to say hello this is my first post and would really appreciate others' thoughts It's been hard for me to get to the point that I feel comfortable sharing.
I had problems with lust as a teenager but didn't think much of it being a young man. When I professed salvation at 16 I asked for forgiveness of my sins, and believed that Jesus is the son of God, and I asked him to come into my heart and lead and guide me in all things. It was only a few days later that the lust issue popped up again and as I grew its outlet became pornography.
Here I am 30 years later and still struggling more often than not, and I feel incredibly bad because I can't seem to let go of the urge to watch it and now to make matters worse I've sought to have an online affair (that thankfully has been fruitless up to this point). Every day I pray that the Lord will help me with the urge but it doesn't matter how hard I ask, I always will break down and attempt to find someone or look at something that I shouldn't.
What it is that I'm not able to grasp here that will be the key to me overcoming this once and for all? It keeps my spirit in such turmoil that I'm miserable every day, and what's more, I'm in a position of leadership at church.
I'm truly not happy in sin, and not satisfied apparently in the spirit. Thanks for reading!
Lust and desire is deeply engrained in human nature. It seems to me that the first thing you need to do is be less hard on yourself. Its all OK. If we didn't have instinctual desire we would not pro create and we would not eat food, there for, we would not exist. Awareness and understanding of desire is key here and I think with a little bit more knowlage and truth around the matter you will feel more free.

When we look at desire in the way of food it is a source of life. When we eat food it provides us with life and energy throughout the day. Eventually tho, we become hungry again and have to repeat the cycle of consumption of life. This makes us dependent on something else other than ourself for our source of life. The life we consume in hunger is finite, and inevitably, we will become hungry again. Now on a spiritual level, lust and desire are the same thing. When we are on our phones, playing video games or watching porn we are on a spiritual level consuming it for its life. And what happens when we consume things? It becomes apart of us in some way shape or form. People will often see characteristics in other people that they like, for e.g they mite like the way their friend laughs. When we like something we desire it, when we desire something we consume it, and when we consume it, the next thing we know is that we are laughing like our friend. Like with the physicle aspect of eating, spiritualy when we fall victim to desire, it is clear that we are not the source of our own fullfillment (God) and need to outsource into things like addiction. Desire is about loving yourself, God is about knowing that you are loved. I personally have struggled with addiction my whole life and just got out of prison a month ago for trafficking ice. My 2 years in prison was somewhat of a fasting period for me because fasting in its essence is fasting from desire. People these days have a low understanding of the true nature of fasting and think that fasting from food will bring them closer to God. Well I have news for everyone, it won't. While your consumed by games, phones, laptops, TV and sex, fasting from food is nonsense. I guess my suggestion to you is first and foremost, don't be so hard on yourself your human. Second you need to find another source of life to replace it. Slowly, we create a closer relationship with God but that takes time. Find another, healthier form of desire to replace what your doing. Look for a hobby or something new that's not so destructive and can be more productive.
 
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Phoneman777

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Just wanted to say hello this is my first post and would really appreciate others' thoughts It's been hard for me to get to the point that I feel comfortable sharing.
I had problems with lust as a teenager but didn't think much of it being a young man. When I professed salvation at 16 I asked for forgiveness of my sins, and believed that Jesus is the son of God, and I asked him to come into my heart and lead and guide me in all things. It was only a few days later that the lust issue popped up again and as I grew its outlet became pornography.
Here I am 30 years later and still struggling more often than not, and I feel incredibly bad because I can't seem to let go of the urge to watch it and now to make matters worse I've sought to have an online affair (that thankfully has been fruitless up to this point). Every day I pray that the Lord will help me with the urge but it doesn't matter how hard I ask, I always will break down and attempt to find someone or look at something that I shouldn't.
What it is that I'm not able to grasp here that will be the key to me overcoming this once and for all? It keeps my spirit in such turmoil that I'm miserable every day, and what's more, I'm in a position of leadership at church.
I'm truly not happy in sin, and not satisfied apparently in the spirit. Thanks for reading!
You're a victim of the greasy grace, sloppy agape craze that's been sweeping across the world for a few decades. Joyce Meyer is a person for which I have not much use except for two things: making sandwiches and something she once said:

"If someone put a gun to your child's head and said, Do that thing once more and I'll pull the trigger! - all of a sudden that "thing" which up to that point was so irresistible and overpowering would instantly turn into something from which we couldn't get far enough away."

Gut check: if we really loved Jesus as much as we loved that child, we'd rather die than sin...which means if we're still trapped in sin, we just don't love Him all that much.

The good news is that we have the promise that "we love Him because He first loved us" - which means that if we just spend some time with Him in prayer and His word each day, we will absolutely discover how much He loves us, and thus fall in love with Him. That simple. ;)
 

Brakelite

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Just wanted to say hello this is my first post and would really appreciate others' thoughts It's been hard for me to get to the point that I feel comfortable sharing.
I had problems with lust as a teenager but didn't think much of it being a young man. When I professed salvation at 16 I asked for forgiveness of my sins, and believed that Jesus is the son of God, and I asked him to come into my heart and lead and guide me in all things. It was only a few days later that the lust issue popped up again and as I grew its outlet became pornography.
Here I am 30 years later and still struggling more often than not, and I feel incredibly bad because I can't seem to let go of the urge to watch it and now to make matters worse I've sought to have an online affair (that thankfully has been fruitless up to this point). Every day I pray that the Lord will help me with the urge but it doesn't matter how hard I ask, I always will break down and attempt to find someone or look at something that I shouldn't.
What it is that I'm not able to grasp here that will be the key to me overcoming this once and for all? It keeps my spirit in such turmoil that I'm miserable every day, and what's more, I'm in a position of leadership at church.
I'm truly not happy in sin, and not satisfied apparently in the spirit. Thanks for reading!
You aren't alone. The statistics inform us that the numbers of people in the church addicted to porn are not dissimilar to the numbers outside the church. And those numbers are shocking. That is the world we live in today.
I think there is one basic lesson all of us need to learn, which we should have been taught the moment we became Christians, but which is largely avoided or ignored. It is something Jesus said..."without Me ye can do nothing". Think about that awhile. That applies to everyone, and with every issue, sin, addiction known to man. So the first answer isn't in discipline, will power, strength, distractions... It is humble surrender and complete honesty, and confession at one own helplessness. I can't do this. I can't change. I'm hopeless, helpless, without You. The first step to healing is confessing your need, and that you are lost without help from above.
 

Wynona

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Just wanted to say hello this is my first post and would really appreciate others' thoughts It's been hard for me to get to the point that I feel comfortable sharing.
I had problems with lust as a teenager but didn't think much of it being a young man. When I professed salvation at 16 I asked for forgiveness of my sins, and believed that Jesus is the son of God, and I asked him to come into my heart and lead and guide me in all things. It was only a few days later that the lust issue popped up again and as I grew its outlet became pornography.
Here I am 30 years later and still struggling more often than not, and I feel incredibly bad because I can't seem to let go of the urge to watch it and now to make matters worse I've sought to have an online affair (that thankfully has been fruitless up to this point). Every day I pray that the Lord will help me with the urge but it doesn't matter how hard I ask, I always will break down and attempt to find someone or look at something that I shouldn't.
What it is that I'm not able to grasp here that will be the key to me overcoming this once and for all? It keeps my spirit in such turmoil that I'm miserable every day, and what's more, I'm in a position of leadership at church.
I'm truly not happy in sin, and not satisfied apparently in the spirit. Thanks for reading!
I have similar temptation and struggles at times. At first I had to take drastic measures to break the habit. As in, tell someone and become accountable to them.

I had to identify my triggers. For me, its always an afternoon boredom/loneliness thing. Then there are the times when the urge to look would come, at one point it was two hours. It feels like it will last forever but this is something you can go through without giving in.

In the midst of the onslaught of bad thoughts, I love a short verse: Psalm 119:11 Thy Word have I hidden in my heart that I might not sin against thee.

You may have to tell someone, downgrade to a dumb phone, only use the computer in a public area like the library. Because it's an addiction and it has gone on for years. But mostly, believe that God will show you a way out of each temptation and you can overcome in Jesus' name.

Also, every day is a new day. Don't wallow in guilt. You get back up every time with the attitude of, "I can and will be clean before the Lord." Go ahead and prepare yourself for the idea of never looking at it again.

Read the Word and ignore popular theology that's defeatist about sin. You got this. Im praying for you now.
 

Wynona

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Something that's helping me right now: this idea popped up to pray for a sister for 30 days without telling her. So this temptation time is something Im now using to pray for another's life and situation. It's such a beautiful escape.
 

L.A.M.B.

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Something that's helping me right now: this idea popped up to pray for a sister for 30 days without telling her. So this temptation time is something Im now using to pray for another's life and situation. It's such a beautiful escape.
There is much beauty in your loving spirit. May your cup overflow with the kindness you pour out.