Dear Friends,Im hoping that you may give me some guidance in a situation with a friend of mine. To start off, I am a non-Christian, who has a really close family friend who is Christian. She constantly tells me how people at her Church hurt her and make her feel very badly about herself, but she says that God has called her to this Church, and she cannot leave. At the same time, she wants me to join this Church with her. She constantly tells me about these problems, and Ive suggested perhaps she could find another Church. Her answer is always no and she says she cannot leave because she is tied to the Church.Im very confused as to what to do. I listen, but it makes me feel outrageous that you choose to get hurt and then complain about it on and on. Since Im not well versed in Christianity or God's word, perhaps some of you may enlighten me on how to handle this?
Please help!
- Thread starter whattodo
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I dont think I should be naming names. Its a cultural/race Church where everyone is of the same race (and not Caucasian). I have my own opinions about this, but I feel since Im not "Christian" she doesnt listen to me. My gut feeling though is that Church isnt supposed to hurt, its a place to grow and learn. She defends it and says God gives her these struggles because salvation is not easy. But I find the complaining almost intolerable. Any help?
It's important for her to remember one thing. When you accept Christ as your personal Lord and Savior, you are tied to Christ and not any one church other than the universal body of Christ. If this church is an unhealthly environment for her, then she can only do so much. Let God handle them and let those chips fall where they may. If someone's not going to listen, then there's a point where it does no good anymore. It is our duty to plant that seed, God will make it grow, but we should not dash ourselves against the rock if it doesn't grow. Satan loves to bog things down in the muck. The opinion of a collective group can be quite powerful and the old enemy works through situations just like these. My advice here is to tell your friend not to cast her pearls amongst swine. Tell her to go to God about it through prayer and studying. God will lead her down the right path. If she truly feels that God wants her in that church, then there's nothing you're going to be able to say or do to stop her.
SwampFox:Thank you. Do you have any specific suggestions for how I should continue my friendship with her? After listening patiently for 5 hours nonstop, sometimes I want to strangle her for being such a whine, especially when I feel she has a choice. I dont know if I should just distance myself.She keeps telling me God called her to stay there. Since I dont really understand these things, can God really tell you to stay and be hurt? Or maybe is she using it as an excuse not to explore other places?
Well, it's up to you with how you want to handle it from the friend perspective. The best thing to do is to communicate with her on how you feel about her and about the situation. God calls us across a wide spectrum. It may only require a sacrifice of time or it may even require your life as demonstrated by many figures of the Bible who paid for their faith with their lives. I Corinthians 10:13There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. At first glance, the KJV renders this as temptation, but the Greek is Peirazo which roughly means to test or make a trial. That doesn't mean times won't get tough. However, God's not going to send you where you cannot make a difference. Members of Christ's body don't call names and do things to make others feel terrible about themselves. I cannot answer for her if she is really being called or not. No one can but her and God and that's between them. However, if there is really this much pain being caused, I think there comes a point when you must acknowledge that this isn't the place to be.
SwampFox:Thank you again. I think I need to distance myself for a little while. While I am strong in my own beliefs, her constant whining really takes a toll on my health. Coupled with the fact that she keeps asking me to go with her to this Church, I wonder why anyone would want another person to go be hurt as well. Thanks again for your insight. I welcome any other opinions!
