Please pray for me regain my perspective

[TrinityInMyHeart]

Hi. I'm sorry for the long post but I am very thankful that there is an outlet for me to pour my heart out. I feel like nothing in my life is going right. I am getting really depressed lately and often feel like I just want to disappear. I have people who love me very much, and I feel guilty that I am not living up to their expectation. I've spent most of my life studying and preparing for a better life. I received my graduate degree more than a year ago when I was 27 and for one reason or another I haven't been able to get a job in my field. I've had great interviews but there was always an obstacle that prevented me from actually starting the job (i.e. timing issues, family emergencies, etc.) Another problem I have is with my marriage. We got married about a year ago but because of my job situation we have not been living together (we are living in different states). We had been dating since college, but we each moved around a lot for jobs and schools and ended up in different states (I'll call his state "A" and mine "B" as I don't want to get too specific). Basically, the reason we are not living together is because of our job situation. He has not been able to find a suitable job here because his industry is concentrated in state A. And I am reluctant to move to A because my career field requires a specific state license to work and state A is notorious for high failure rate for licensing exams. In fact, I did try once and failed. Both my husband and I agree that it is better for me to try to find a job here as I am already licensed in state B and once I find a job, and it is very likely I will make a very comfortable living in a year or two. But things are not happening! Because of this prolonged "unintended" separation, I find myself missing him less and less and sometimes don't even feel like I love him anymore. I also feel like if God wanted us to be together, we would be together and not on a LDR after we got married. I am very embarrassed about my situation and feel so humiliated and depressed everyday. I always have job "prospects" but nothing ever comes to a fruitful conclusion. I am just about ready to give up on everything...my job, my marriage...and just disappear to somewhere no one knows me. Thank you for reading.

 

[Simple]

Peace be upon youOne should not lose hope in God's Mercy and blessings. When we are going through thick and thin, it is but a path of character building which teaches us many lessons. From religious perspective, it cleanses our souls. I pray that you succeed in gaining the desired job and your relationship with the other person finds mutual ground in the near future.Regarding your statement that you find yourself missing him less and less with time, it is because when people are out of sight, they soon get out of our mind. I would advise to keep in touch with him at times, by getting together on holidays or find other ways of communication. Be blessed

 

[TrinityInMyHeart]

Thank you for your reply Simple.Your word is very wise and encouraging.As far as my husband goes, I visit him when I can and in fact visited him quite often up until a couple months ago. Lately, however, I have been cutting our phone conversations short because I feel like I have nothing exciting to talk to him about. He is a wonderful man and understands my problems but I just don't want to share my feelings with him because I don't want to burden him with my depressing thoughts.

 

[topcat23]

I am praying for you and your husband that you guys find a solution to your problems concerning your jobs and being together, remember nothing is too hard to overcome with God working in your live's. I know you say that you dont want to burden your husband with your depressing thoughts. I feel that you need that communication in there no matter what the subject is, especially if it is affecting you the way it is, its not just a little matter when its concerning the way you feel, I can't express how important that the lines of communication stay open, otherwise we don't know how each other really feels or is going through. You say you love him and he you, so then don't you think that he cares enough about you to want to help you through this time, I think he would. Talk to him sister, you won't regret the fact that you did, this coming from experience. God I wish I didn't have to say that so often, lol.Take care and God bless, Topcat