Self Esteem

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VictoryinJesus

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Is low self esteem bad? Does God want us to have high self esteem?
 
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aspen

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Is low self esteem bad? Does God want us to have high self esteem?

I believe genuine and healthy self esteem is a part of our true self.......

the world, specifically American culture teaches ego-esteem, which is a bolstering of the false self / Old Man / ego. The result is predictable and pervasive narcissism.

Since God only knows our true self......I believe we gain our healthy esteem from Him
 
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Helen

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Is low self esteem bad? Does God want us to have high self esteem?

Yes He does.
God wants us to identify with our new inner man 'in Christ.'
When we hold on to low self esteem ...we are identifying with our dead self.
So basically we are denying our position in Him.
Overcoming , saying that we are not good enough, when He says that we are. Walking in HIS victory, not our own. :)
 

APAK

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@VictoryinJesus ...

There is a Godly self-esteem for the believer where the self-will yields to the will of God and follows and becomes the mind of Christ, in faith and confidence.

Then there is a mal-adjusted self-esteem for the believer who has become weak in faith and allows the soulish will to, for example, keep reminding us of our most egregious sins. It keeps us from growing to a healthy self-esteem.

Then there is the soulish self-esteem that thrives on self-will and egotism and yields to no one, as he or she thinks.
 

Windmillcharge

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Is low self esteem bad? Does God want us to have high self esteem?

Neither, he wants us to know who and what we are in relation to him and to others.

What are we:- sinners saved by grace, who have been adopted into his family, co- heirs with Jesus. This is all given by God, not earnt or deserved.

Romans 12:3. For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.

Low self estime is as bad as an unjustifable high self estime. The world may not valus us, but God values as worth the life of his son.
 

VictoryinJesus

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Thank you all for responding! Agree. I asked because I have low self esteem. Always have. My daughters have inherited this same low self esteem. Watching them feel worthless and broken and searching; it is easy to see who they are searching for. In reguards to low self esteem I think of the woman by the well and the reason she had so many husbands. It had to be something she kept telling herself inside; how something vital was always missing reguardless of who she was with. She was incomplete.

It changed for me when I surrendered to the fact that, maybe God doesn't want me to have high self esteem. I esteem God highly. In comparison to Him: all that I don't have: not as sucessful as someone else, not as talented, not as pretty, not as healthy and thriving and as well put together...it all becomes irrelevant. It's just not in me to be something I'm not. Or to be someone I am not. I am beginning to think, that is more than okay with God. Maybe the freedom comes in no longer trying to be something of value to the world. But rather of purpose to God.

Hebrews 11:25-26
[25] Choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season; [26] Esteeming the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures in Egypt: for he had respect unto the recompence of the reward.
 

VictoryinJesus

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boy, i dunno, seems like that would engender being blown about by every wind

Understandable, but when we make God our esteem instead of self; then how is esteem in God blown by wind? Low self esteem and Self pity could become a trap? How is anything with too much self in it good? Self confidence is confidence in self; are we called to have it? Agree with unhealthy esteem can't be good either. Since the gospel is preached to the widow, the poor, the weak and the broken. The outcast. Wouldnt low self esteem naturally be a part of coming to Him? Does God heal low self esteem completely or is esteem in Christ given which puts all equal in Him? Just thinking out loud: should we desire more self or less?

Philippians 2:3-4
[3] Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. [4] Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.
 
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bbyrd009

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Understandable, but when we make God our esteem instead of self; then how is esteem in God blown by wind?
one ignorant step at a time, i guess? i mean, we would have to ask these guys that
upload_2018-3-31_13-9-59.jpeg
or perhaps some believer who has accepted the notion that heaven begins after death if they hold the correct beliefs might enlighten us? Certainly enough of them around i guess.

Iow "esteem in God" is a very subjective thing, too, and can be easily counterfeited, too. Really it is prolly just another way for someone to commend themselves i guess
 

bbyrd009

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How is anything with too much self in it good?
well the def of "self" has been subtly altered for that concept, as Aspen has already brought out i guess. Of course language can always be used to twist, but functionally speaking there really is no such thing as "too much" self esteem or even "high" self esteem, even though ppl still use these as analogs for narcissism (which is actually "low self esteem" right; narcissists have low self esteem)

so, i'm trying to agree with you here lol, there is "healthy" self esteem or unhealthy, and although of course ppl will keep using "high" or "low" self esteem, you are left to wonder or verify how they specifically define it.

humility is not low self esteem iow, it is "healthy" self esteem; the power to say "no" (and i mean just "no," without feeling a need to explain) is a good marker here i guess
Wouldnt low self esteem naturally be a part of coming to Him?
 
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bbyrd009

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Does God heal low self esteem completely or is esteem in Christ given which puts all equal in Him? Just thinking out loud: should we desire more self or less?
well, i didn't realize this myself, but we are obv dealing with several related concepts, that might all be better defined first,

self esteem
self confidence
narcissism
humility; even
ego (are "you" you, or your ego?); so then also
id, or "observer," or what is left after ego is removed (arguably)
 

bbyrd009

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Philippians 2:3-4
[3] Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. [4] Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.
this is great, but i guess bc of the nuances the definition of "self-esteem" has drifted since then?
It can be observed that someone with no self-respect (esteem) cannot respect others; and even this is somewhat misleading, as we do not mean "no" self respect, but usually "negative" self respect, self-loathing, etc.

So to agree with you again, "no" self respect would be great, that would be a goal--only you can't say this or it will be misunderstood?
 

VictoryinJesus

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even though ppl still use these as analogs for narcissism (which is actually "low self esteem" right; narcissists have low self esteem)

Completely agree, even though they would deny it and claim the opposite, it is still low self esteem. Vanity can be viewed the same, right? To overcompensate in vain beauty that leads others to label it as conceited, when most the time it is only masked low self esteem. Money can be a mask for low self esteem also. So where is the healing? The healthy balance?

Busy day; read all your responses, will be back later to respond.
 
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Helen

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Thank you all for responding! Agree. I asked because I have low self esteem. Always have

Hey there.
We are all " work in progress.." :)
People who have low self esteem, are people who are too preoccupied with themselves.
It is a " Me complex"...how do I look, what do people think of me?
Am I doing this right? I am a failure....etc etc all about me.
Which is just the opposite of what God has called us to. Everything is about Him, not us.
It is the Enemy's lie to keep our eyes on ourself and not God.

When we live "God in consciousness" then we will not get tripped up with dwelling on self-consciousness.
Not easy, but a new habit can be formed in 21 days, so they say. :)

Bless you....Helen
 

aspen

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Thank you all for responding! Agree. I asked because I have low self esteem. Always have. My daughters have inherited this same low self esteem. Watching them feel worthless and broken and searching; it is easy to see who they are searching for. In reguards to low self esteem I think of the woman by the well and the reason she had so many husbands. It had to be something she kept telling herself inside; how something vital was always missing reguardless of who she was with. She was incomplete.

It changed for me when I surrendered to the fact that, maybe God doesn't want me to have high self esteem. I esteem God highly. In comparison to Him: all that I don't have: not as sucessful as someone else, not as talented, not as pretty, not as healthy and thriving and as well put together...it all becomes irrelevant. It's just not in me to be something I'm not. Or to be someone I am not. I am beginning to think, that is more than okay with God. Maybe the freedom comes in no longer trying to be something of value to the world. But rather of purpose to God.

Hebrews 11:25-26
[25] Choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season; [26] Esteeming the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures in Egypt: for he had respect unto the recompence of the reward.

Wow, i have to say I am surprised that you have struggled with esteem issues - you present yourself as healthy and confident on this board. I have viewed your understanding and use of the scriptures as kind of a ‘go to’ for clearity and reliable teaching. I trust that you and FHII have studied what you believe in the scripture, whether I agree or not. I can see that God has done a good work in you regarding your esteem!
 

VictoryinJesus

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Wow, i have to say I am surprised that you have struggled with esteem issues - you present yourself as healthy and confident on this board. I have viewed your understanding and use of the scriptures as kind of a ‘go to’ for clearity and reliable teaching. I trust that you and FHII have studied what you believe in the scripture, whether I agree or not. I can see that God has done a good work in you regarding your esteem!

What you see on the board is a confidence in Him. The times He uses me in every day life, with others, it is always in ways that demand(requires) confidence in Him. It is never in my strong areas.
 
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pia

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Is low self esteem bad? Does God want us to have high self esteem?
That is a very good question.......What I believe and to some extent have experienced at times, is that whether high or low self esteem, it is still about the self, and this is an area for most of us which is so very difficult to overcome.....to take our eyes off of ourselves and onto Him....To not fret, worry or fear for ourselves, but concentrate on all the poor people who don't have a clue that Jesus is real.....However we must have a full assurance in 'ourselves' ( as in having made up our minds ) of our standing in / with Jesus, before God, so that it becomes off Jesus' esteem for and by the Father which is relevant then....Separating ourselves from ourselves hahaha, it isn't an easy task, but if we could just get kinda 'lost in Him' we could get there bit by bit.....For us to TRY to do this would be too hard for words, but by just letting go of everything and letting Him take care of everything else and most of all to believe and receive His astonishing Love for us....even learning what His unconditional Love is, would take more than a lifetime lol...:) No time for worrying about futile things...
 
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