The birth of Abigail - her mother Donna's story (our first child)
My husband Richard and I had already decided, prior to my first pregnancy, that our children would be delivered via "unassisted childbirth," which means we would seek no "assistance" from the medical community. Personally, I do not ascribe to the "unassisted" label, because, in reality, the birth wasn't "unassisted" but "God-assisted." I never sought any prenatal care; I simply relaxed, enjoyed my pregnancy, ate as well as I could, and did some moderate exercise. If you would like to know more about why we decided to go "God-assisted," email me and I will gladly share why we came to that decision.
Abigail was "fashionably late" by medical standards, as I was 43.5 weeks pregnant before the Lord granted her entrance. Thankfully, I had the support of my Godly husband Richard, and one of my best friends, Emma-Jayne, who kept me encouraged when I was feeling like I had been pregnant forever. We knew Abigail would arrive exactly when God had ordained for her to arrive, and yet it was hard for me to be patient at times. Still, I must say that God's timing was incredible. On the birth date, there was a combined church/prayer walk around the island, so the whole island was being bathed in prayer. Coincidence? I think not...
When I first felt some encouraging signs with the start of contractions, they were about 20-30 minutes apart. The next morning I started to lose my mucous plug, and contractions continued at about 20 minutes apart but were somewhat irregular. However, each day thereafter, they gained strength and started to become more regular. The next night, contractions had increased in intensity, and when I woke up the next morning, we decided to start timing them. At this stage, they were about 15 minutes apart.
We decided to drive into town about 45 minutes away. Originally, the journey was to pick up some frozen fruit I was craving, but we ended up doing other errands as well. The trip was good because it distracted me from focusing on my contractions. Our final stop before heading back home was at WalMart to pick up a few items. It was at WalMart where I started to go into transition. My contractions became more intense and I vomited (not inside WalMart, I should add). I began to wonder whether we would make it home in time for the birth. We kept timing the contractions and eventually the time between them became less and less, shortening from 10 minutes to 6 minutes, and then as we drove home, to four minutes apart.
Arriving back home to the sound of the ocean surf, I looked over at the river nearby and asked Richard if we could enter the river at the point where it ran into the ocean (hence the noted place of birth on our birth announcement - "where the river flows into the ocean"). I figured that the water would give me some relief from the pain of the contractions. Richard agreed, and once I was in the cool waist-deep water, I didn't want to get out. We noticed several surfers riding the ocean waves nearby, and several "weekend warriors" camped on the opposite side of the riverbank. But they all seemed oblivious to us, as I believe the Lord had blinded their eyes to accomplish his purposes. Even at this stage, I wasn't 100% certain I would give birth in the river. The water did lessen somewhat the pain of the contractions, but mainly it helped me to relax more *between* the contractions.
Richard and Emma-Jayne described our three-way positioning in the water as a "Donna Sandwich." I stood between them, with Richard at my front and Emma-Jayne at my back. I felt so much better in the water; it truly helped me relax. I started to move from the transition phase into the pushing phase. I thought that my bag of waters might have broken and so there was some discussion as to whether we should remain in the possibly unclean river. While my preference was to stay, we nonetheless deferred to Richard as the spiritual head of the family (he's also somewhat of a water expert), and I trusted that God would protect us whatever his decision. Richard's choice was to stay, so we trusted the Lord for a safe delivery in the water.
It turned out at that point that my waters had not yet broken. And I had decided earlier that I would do no pushing until I felt the urge. Well, believe me, when the urge comes, it's impossible not to push. With each contraction I averaged about four pushes. What is so awesome is how much we needed to rely on the Lord. I was exhausted and it was painful but, with each contraction, I found myself calling on the Lord to sustain me. Then it got to the point where I couldn't call out for myself so Richard and Emma-Jayne interceded for me.
I reached down and felt the unbroken bag of waters, which was encouraging. Then I felt the head descending. That's when I really needed the prayers of Richard and Emma-Jayne because I seemed to run out of "push" to deliver it. As Richard and Emma-Jayne prayed, I felt the head crown and I pushed it out; then I felt the baby turn, and the rest of the body came out. Emma-Jayne "caught" the baby and brought her up to the surface, where I took her. She came out like a silver streak and recognized our voices straight away. Richard and Emma-Jayne tell me that I was saying, "Look! It's my baby!" repeatedly but, to be honest, I don't remember saying it. I do remember telling Emma-Jayne to be careful passing the baby to me, as I was still "attached." I am glad I went through the pain and didn't try to block it. Yes, you heard me right. Now, I don't like pain any more than anyone else, but when our baby came out wide-eyed and alert, and not drowsy from pain medication, it made it all worth it.
Abigail dripped a tiny bit of mucus, which Richard wiped away, but no suctioning was necessary. She was incredibly alert, her eyes were wide open, and she had a look on her face that asked, "What happened?" She let out a soft little cry and pinked up straight away. We had been laboring in the water for a total of two hours and twenty minutes. As we began wading over to the riverbank, an unidentified man ran over to us yelling that he had just phoned 4-1-1 (he meant to say 9-1-1, America's emergency number). Ecstatic in the joy of the moment, Richard told the guy that we'd just birthed a baby. He replied, "It's not right! It's just not right!" We told him he didn't need to phone anyone, and that everything was ok. Moments later, when the medical/fire/police entourage arrived, they looked at the baby and me and were satisfied we both appeared healthy. After they left, we decided it might be a good idea to check whether our baby was a boy or a girl! We were willing to accept whatever God gave us and were delighted to see we had a baby girl.
Richard cut the cord after it stopped pulsating, and Abigail started feeding straight away. For me, this is where the details get fuzzy. I know we rested on the riverbank for hours, though it felt like only a short time. I was exhausted and laid down and slept while Richard looked after the baby. Several hours later when I awoke, it was dark. Emma-Jayne decided it was time to move me, though I was quite comfy where I was. She left me alone while she fetched Richard for assistance, who was nearby at home tending to the baby. I was very lightheaded, and as the three of us attempted to "prop me up," I fainted, which I have to say is a totally unusual experience. All I remember is standing up while hearing Richard and Emma-Jayne talking, as their voices seemed to fade away. I told them they were fading, and I think they told me I was going to faint. As I slumped to my knees, they supported me. A few seconds later, I regained consciousness. Then they decided to get me something to eat, as it had been a long time since I'd had anything to eat or drink.
Emma-Jayne came back with some snacks, and I felt better after that. We slowly made our way back to our nearby home, arriving at nearly midnight. I still had not delivered the placenta at this stage, so we spent some time waiting for it to come out, and trying to push it out, but to no avail. In hindsight, we should have relied on the Lord as well, to pass the placenta.
While Emma-Jayne stayed with me, Richard and some friends continued to look after Abigail, bringing her to me periodically for feedings and cuddles! Eventually, they decided I should just go to bed. It was 3:30 am and it sure felt nice to sleep with our new baby next to me!
We believe the stress of the 9-1-1 "visitors" contributed to a "shut down" of my body, so-to-speak. While some hold serious concerns regarding a "retained placenta" because of infection, etc., I was feeling fine and had just been through an awesome God-assisted birth. So with a renewed faith, I knew God would come through for us with the placenta. We decided to rely on the Lord 100% concerning the placenta.
Two days and many prayers later, my husband felt we should visit Joy, a born again woman friend. I ended up spending several hours in her bathtub relaxing. Joy joined us in prayers for the delivery of the placenta, after which Richard left to make a food bank pickup (we have a food ministry). While I was in the bathtub, I was considering natural remedies and three came to mind: castor oil, black cohosh and blue cohosh. I asked the Lord, if he would approve of any of those remedies, to indicate such to my husband. While Richard was at the food bank, he happened to see a bottle of castor oil (which he had never seen at the food bank before), so he decided to purchase some, thinking that perhaps it was an answer to our prayer. But, as God would have it, I didn't get to use it. Just moments before I was going to take the castor oil, I delivered the placenta, completely. We were praising the Lord, happy to give the glory to God and not to the castor oil!
It took me about three days before I finally settled on the scriptural name "Abigail" (meaning "cause of joy" or "father of joy"), which holds much meaning for us. The Lord has revealed many things to my husband regarding end-times events, and much of it is not particularly pleasant. Accordingly, near the end of our pregnancy, Richard repeatedly asked the Lord to explain why he would have us bear a child in these troubled times. Finally, one evening, the Lord, in profound simplicity, answered his prayers with "...so that Donna can experience the joy of motherhood and you the joy of fatherhood."
Would I do anything differently? I wouldn't change anything about the birth, but with our next pregnancy, we will go into hibernation after the birth. While we chose a public place to give birth, we've learned that the strongest attacks from the enemy come *after* the birth (e.g. the 9-1-1 phone call). Abigail and I didn't have the privacy we needed to rest and bond together immediately afterward. Then, instead of resting at home and focusing our attention on her, we proud parents traveled around the first couple days, "showing off" (and "handing off") our new blessing. We realized she was hungry but wouldn't feed because she was too upset by all the activity. Our anxious prayers brought conviction, and we repented before the Lord. Richard subsequently ensured that I would receive the maximum time to bond with Abigail. So he gallantly took on the cooking and cleaning and "gopher" duties, while Abigail and I rested up and got the hang of breast feeding.
The entire pregnancy and birth experience was a huge faith builder for all of us. Our marriage covenant became more intimate, and the three of us were privileged to see God working in ways we never could have imagined. In my journey with the Lord, our childbirth experience is *the* highlight! Getting married was awesome, but bringing a child into the world with my husband is incredible. The birth changed both Richard and me for the better, and we continue to marvel at each other in our new roles as parents.
Thank you for reading this and allowing us to share what God has done in our lives.
Psalm 118:23 - "This is the LORD'S doing; it is marvellous in our eyes."
Acts 4:20 - "For we cannot but speak the things which we have seen and heard."
My husband Richard and I had already decided, prior to my first pregnancy, that our children would be delivered via "unassisted childbirth," which means we would seek no "assistance" from the medical community. Personally, I do not ascribe to the "unassisted" label, because, in reality, the birth wasn't "unassisted" but "God-assisted." I never sought any prenatal care; I simply relaxed, enjoyed my pregnancy, ate as well as I could, and did some moderate exercise. If you would like to know more about why we decided to go "God-assisted," email me and I will gladly share why we came to that decision.
Abigail was "fashionably late" by medical standards, as I was 43.5 weeks pregnant before the Lord granted her entrance. Thankfully, I had the support of my Godly husband Richard, and one of my best friends, Emma-Jayne, who kept me encouraged when I was feeling like I had been pregnant forever. We knew Abigail would arrive exactly when God had ordained for her to arrive, and yet it was hard for me to be patient at times. Still, I must say that God's timing was incredible. On the birth date, there was a combined church/prayer walk around the island, so the whole island was being bathed in prayer. Coincidence? I think not...
When I first felt some encouraging signs with the start of contractions, they were about 20-30 minutes apart. The next morning I started to lose my mucous plug, and contractions continued at about 20 minutes apart but were somewhat irregular. However, each day thereafter, they gained strength and started to become more regular. The next night, contractions had increased in intensity, and when I woke up the next morning, we decided to start timing them. At this stage, they were about 15 minutes apart.
We decided to drive into town about 45 minutes away. Originally, the journey was to pick up some frozen fruit I was craving, but we ended up doing other errands as well. The trip was good because it distracted me from focusing on my contractions. Our final stop before heading back home was at WalMart to pick up a few items. It was at WalMart where I started to go into transition. My contractions became more intense and I vomited (not inside WalMart, I should add). I began to wonder whether we would make it home in time for the birth. We kept timing the contractions and eventually the time between them became less and less, shortening from 10 minutes to 6 minutes, and then as we drove home, to four minutes apart.
Arriving back home to the sound of the ocean surf, I looked over at the river nearby and asked Richard if we could enter the river at the point where it ran into the ocean (hence the noted place of birth on our birth announcement - "where the river flows into the ocean"). I figured that the water would give me some relief from the pain of the contractions. Richard agreed, and once I was in the cool waist-deep water, I didn't want to get out. We noticed several surfers riding the ocean waves nearby, and several "weekend warriors" camped on the opposite side of the riverbank. But they all seemed oblivious to us, as I believe the Lord had blinded their eyes to accomplish his purposes. Even at this stage, I wasn't 100% certain I would give birth in the river. The water did lessen somewhat the pain of the contractions, but mainly it helped me to relax more *between* the contractions.
Richard and Emma-Jayne described our three-way positioning in the water as a "Donna Sandwich." I stood between them, with Richard at my front and Emma-Jayne at my back. I felt so much better in the water; it truly helped me relax. I started to move from the transition phase into the pushing phase. I thought that my bag of waters might have broken and so there was some discussion as to whether we should remain in the possibly unclean river. While my preference was to stay, we nonetheless deferred to Richard as the spiritual head of the family (he's also somewhat of a water expert), and I trusted that God would protect us whatever his decision. Richard's choice was to stay, so we trusted the Lord for a safe delivery in the water.
It turned out at that point that my waters had not yet broken. And I had decided earlier that I would do no pushing until I felt the urge. Well, believe me, when the urge comes, it's impossible not to push. With each contraction I averaged about four pushes. What is so awesome is how much we needed to rely on the Lord. I was exhausted and it was painful but, with each contraction, I found myself calling on the Lord to sustain me. Then it got to the point where I couldn't call out for myself so Richard and Emma-Jayne interceded for me.
I reached down and felt the unbroken bag of waters, which was encouraging. Then I felt the head descending. That's when I really needed the prayers of Richard and Emma-Jayne because I seemed to run out of "push" to deliver it. As Richard and Emma-Jayne prayed, I felt the head crown and I pushed it out; then I felt the baby turn, and the rest of the body came out. Emma-Jayne "caught" the baby and brought her up to the surface, where I took her. She came out like a silver streak and recognized our voices straight away. Richard and Emma-Jayne tell me that I was saying, "Look! It's my baby!" repeatedly but, to be honest, I don't remember saying it. I do remember telling Emma-Jayne to be careful passing the baby to me, as I was still "attached." I am glad I went through the pain and didn't try to block it. Yes, you heard me right. Now, I don't like pain any more than anyone else, but when our baby came out wide-eyed and alert, and not drowsy from pain medication, it made it all worth it.
Abigail dripped a tiny bit of mucus, which Richard wiped away, but no suctioning was necessary. She was incredibly alert, her eyes were wide open, and she had a look on her face that asked, "What happened?" She let out a soft little cry and pinked up straight away. We had been laboring in the water for a total of two hours and twenty minutes. As we began wading over to the riverbank, an unidentified man ran over to us yelling that he had just phoned 4-1-1 (he meant to say 9-1-1, America's emergency number). Ecstatic in the joy of the moment, Richard told the guy that we'd just birthed a baby. He replied, "It's not right! It's just not right!" We told him he didn't need to phone anyone, and that everything was ok. Moments later, when the medical/fire/police entourage arrived, they looked at the baby and me and were satisfied we both appeared healthy. After they left, we decided it might be a good idea to check whether our baby was a boy or a girl! We were willing to accept whatever God gave us and were delighted to see we had a baby girl.
Richard cut the cord after it stopped pulsating, and Abigail started feeding straight away. For me, this is where the details get fuzzy. I know we rested on the riverbank for hours, though it felt like only a short time. I was exhausted and laid down and slept while Richard looked after the baby. Several hours later when I awoke, it was dark. Emma-Jayne decided it was time to move me, though I was quite comfy where I was. She left me alone while she fetched Richard for assistance, who was nearby at home tending to the baby. I was very lightheaded, and as the three of us attempted to "prop me up," I fainted, which I have to say is a totally unusual experience. All I remember is standing up while hearing Richard and Emma-Jayne talking, as their voices seemed to fade away. I told them they were fading, and I think they told me I was going to faint. As I slumped to my knees, they supported me. A few seconds later, I regained consciousness. Then they decided to get me something to eat, as it had been a long time since I'd had anything to eat or drink.
Emma-Jayne came back with some snacks, and I felt better after that. We slowly made our way back to our nearby home, arriving at nearly midnight. I still had not delivered the placenta at this stage, so we spent some time waiting for it to come out, and trying to push it out, but to no avail. In hindsight, we should have relied on the Lord as well, to pass the placenta.
While Emma-Jayne stayed with me, Richard and some friends continued to look after Abigail, bringing her to me periodically for feedings and cuddles! Eventually, they decided I should just go to bed. It was 3:30 am and it sure felt nice to sleep with our new baby next to me!
We believe the stress of the 9-1-1 "visitors" contributed to a "shut down" of my body, so-to-speak. While some hold serious concerns regarding a "retained placenta" because of infection, etc., I was feeling fine and had just been through an awesome God-assisted birth. So with a renewed faith, I knew God would come through for us with the placenta. We decided to rely on the Lord 100% concerning the placenta.
Two days and many prayers later, my husband felt we should visit Joy, a born again woman friend. I ended up spending several hours in her bathtub relaxing. Joy joined us in prayers for the delivery of the placenta, after which Richard left to make a food bank pickup (we have a food ministry). While I was in the bathtub, I was considering natural remedies and three came to mind: castor oil, black cohosh and blue cohosh. I asked the Lord, if he would approve of any of those remedies, to indicate such to my husband. While Richard was at the food bank, he happened to see a bottle of castor oil (which he had never seen at the food bank before), so he decided to purchase some, thinking that perhaps it was an answer to our prayer. But, as God would have it, I didn't get to use it. Just moments before I was going to take the castor oil, I delivered the placenta, completely. We were praising the Lord, happy to give the glory to God and not to the castor oil!
It took me about three days before I finally settled on the scriptural name "Abigail" (meaning "cause of joy" or "father of joy"), which holds much meaning for us. The Lord has revealed many things to my husband regarding end-times events, and much of it is not particularly pleasant. Accordingly, near the end of our pregnancy, Richard repeatedly asked the Lord to explain why he would have us bear a child in these troubled times. Finally, one evening, the Lord, in profound simplicity, answered his prayers with "...so that Donna can experience the joy of motherhood and you the joy of fatherhood."
Would I do anything differently? I wouldn't change anything about the birth, but with our next pregnancy, we will go into hibernation after the birth. While we chose a public place to give birth, we've learned that the strongest attacks from the enemy come *after* the birth (e.g. the 9-1-1 phone call). Abigail and I didn't have the privacy we needed to rest and bond together immediately afterward. Then, instead of resting at home and focusing our attention on her, we proud parents traveled around the first couple days, "showing off" (and "handing off") our new blessing. We realized she was hungry but wouldn't feed because she was too upset by all the activity. Our anxious prayers brought conviction, and we repented before the Lord. Richard subsequently ensured that I would receive the maximum time to bond with Abigail. So he gallantly took on the cooking and cleaning and "gopher" duties, while Abigail and I rested up and got the hang of breast feeding.
The entire pregnancy and birth experience was a huge faith builder for all of us. Our marriage covenant became more intimate, and the three of us were privileged to see God working in ways we never could have imagined. In my journey with the Lord, our childbirth experience is *the* highlight! Getting married was awesome, but bringing a child into the world with my husband is incredible. The birth changed both Richard and me for the better, and we continue to marvel at each other in our new roles as parents.
Thank you for reading this and allowing us to share what God has done in our lives.
Psalm 118:23 - "This is the LORD'S doing; it is marvellous in our eyes."
Acts 4:20 - "For we cannot but speak the things which we have seen and heard."
