The birth of Faith - her mother Donna's story (our second child)
As excited as I was to be pregnant again, I was also afraid -- excited to be carrying another "reward from the Lord [Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. - Psalm 127:3], yet fearful about becoming a mother of two when I was still adjusting to being a mother of one! I struggled to trust the Lord and his timing and the truth that he would strengthen and equip me when the new child arrived.
God blessed me with a very comfortable pregnancy. Also, I continued to exercise throughout the pregnancy which I am certain benefited me during labor and recovery.
My mother and my dear friend Emma-Jayne both flew from New Zealand to join us for the birth. Their visit itself was a step of faith, as only the Lord knew the precise day of birth (the so-called "due date"). We hoped and prayed that the birth would occur during their stay, while also accepting that God may have something different in mind.
My "due date" came and went with no signs of imminent labor. We weren't worried, as we knew the "due date" is merely man's estimate. I had a feeling I wouldn't be carrying this baby as long as I'd carried Abigail (43.5 weeks); nevertheless, I trusted in the Lord's perfect timing.
Each day I watched for those "pre-labor" signs, but didn't notice any. God reminded me of His words in Proverbs 3 [Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil. - Proverbs 3:5-7].
I had an inkling then that this birth would be quite different from Abigail's. So I was reminded that having one birth under my belt, so-to-speak, did not make me an expert.
So when I did go into labor, I was completely surprised. I was 41.5 weeks pregnant and woke up in the early morning to find that my waters had started to break. I woke Richard to tell him, to which his response was an AWESOME prayer committing the birth to the Lord. We checked the time; it was 4 am. Richard told me to rest and relax, and then he went back to sleep. I was too excited to go back to sleep, but I did relax and enjoy the mild contractions, knowing my body was doing what it needed to bring forth this child.
The mild contractions changed to more painful ones, and my soft groaning woke Richard at 6:30 am. Richard timed the contractions at 5 minutes apart. I couldn't believe the intervals were that short already. We started to talk about a birthing place and decided to head to the nearby familiar river ("where the river flows into the ocean"). Abigail awoke as if on cue, so we took her with us. We stood in waist-deep water while Abigail splashed around by the riverbank. She would come over and hug me during contractions which, while incredibly sweet, eventually became too much of a distraction for me.
We decided to wake my Mum and Emma-Jayne. So Richard waited for me to have the next contraction and then raced to fetch them back at our encampment, where we have been sojourning in tents for nearly three years. Emma-Jayne had momentarily left the camp to go for a walk along the beach, but my Mum came down and tended Abigail. I was able to relax then, knowing Abigail was being looked after. Emma-Jayne returned from her sandy stroll minutes later, joining Richard and me in the water.
It was difficult for me to get comfortable in the river. During each contraction, I tried a different position, but nothing seemed to work. However, I had amazing peace between contractions and I marveled that the labor seemed easier. The contractions went from 5 minutes to 3 minutes as I moved into the transition stage which, according to Emma-Jayne, continued for about 90 minutes. I vomited a few times, and to me that was the only clue that I "might" be in the transition stage; I felt I was going to be in labor for most of the day.
My biggest battle was in my mind, even though I had avoided filling my mind with research and birth accounts which can promote unnecessary fear (the spirit of which would then be visited upon me in my time of greatest vulnerability). I still struggled because the birth differed from Abigail's; I also feared the baby might not be in an optimal birthing position.
Finally, I shared this fear with Richard and Emma-Jayne; Richard immediately prayed and rebuked that spirit of fear. The event progressed very quickly thereafter. I felt incredibly peaceful and decided even if I was in labor the rest of the day, the Lord would sustain me. Emma-Jayne also encouraged me with a word she received from the Lord during her walk on the beach, which was that our child would never know fear and would be strong in the Lord. With this "different" labor, I was having doubts about the outcome; however, Emma-Jayne's words greatly comforted me.
At the river, I was struggling to keep warm. It was early morning, cloudy, and windy; it had rained the previous night. We tried several things (blankets, plastic sheets, body hugs, hot packs) to keep me warm, but they were not effective. Figuratively speaking, for every two steps forward, I took one step backward. So, after three hours at the river, Richard suggested we go back to the camp and use a poly tub (a Rubbermaid stock tank, 100 gallons, with its drain plug missing) that had been abandoned on the property. It sounded great to me, so Richard quickly left the river to set it up, while Emma-Jayne helped me shuffle slowly back toward the camp.
Back at the camp, Richard hurriedly connected a series of garden hoses, then ran it the distance to the property owner's utility sink and attached it to the "hot" side of the faucet. Running back to the camp, he hosed off the old tub and stuffed a receiving blanket into the drain, then returned to the utility sink to turn on the faucet.
Emma-Jayne and I reached the camp. Mum and Abigail played outside the tent while Emma-Jayne helped me step into the tub and started filling it with water. My back ached, so I asked her to spray the water on my back while she filled the tub. Ahhhhh, what relief! I could relax now, knowing I was going to warm up. Another thing I liked is that I could bite the side of the tub during contractions
Finally, I was comfortable; I knew this was the place I wanted to be, particularly if I was to have a longer labor.
Little did I know, I didn't have long to wait. At the river, I'd been frustrated with my contractions because they weren't the "pushing" kind. However, after only 20 minutes in the tub, I was surprised by the sudden urge to push. Emma-Jayne kept her hand positioned on my lower back to apply counter-pressure. I remember at one point, she removed her hand and I quickly told her to replace it. I started telling the baby to come out, and then pushed again. It was painful, but I didn't tear. With a couple of yelIs, I pushed the head out and then there was a brief delay before the rest of the body came out; to me it seemed like an eternity. Emma-Jayne lifted the baby out of the water and everyone started to cry. The baby was magnificent, covered in vernix, looking and handling like it had been buttered. I was instantly in love. Words fail to describe the intensity of my feelings at that moment.
Abigail was present throughout the birth; she seemed "amazed" but very calm, still being tended by my Mum. My yells during the final push had frightened her, and she whimpered a bit as Richard comforted her.
The baby exuded a small amount of mucous, so I held the baby upright and let it drain. She started nursing straight away like a pro. After about 10 minutes, Richard performed a "gender check" and declared we had another girl!
When Richard announced the time of birth as exactly 10 am, Emma-Jayne blurted out that the Lord had spoken to her the same -- that the baby would be birthed by 10 am! She had refrained from sharing that info beforehand, as she did not want to discourage or otherwise stumble me in my "mental battle."
Our baby girl had "pinked up" nicely; she and I stayed in the tub for two hours. I was oblivious to the time throughout the labor, but my spectators informed me of the details Mum and Abigail fed me black licorice (which I'd been craving). We cut the cord about 11:00 am; I got out of the tub at noon. I showered off, passed some blood clots, but still hadn't passed the placenta. The baby and I went into our tent and spent the rest of the day bonding.
As I nursed the baby and rested, I thought about a name for her. I didn't really have any names picked out, as I find it hard to name a child I haven't seen yet, and the names I had previously considered now seemed inappropriate. I believe a child should be named either for its destiny or for the spiritual events that happen before, during, or after its birth. As I was thinking about this and about my battle with fear, I realized that the opposite of fear is Faith. As soon as that name came into my mind, I knew that Faith was to be the baby's name. It also lined up with the word from the Lord that Emma-Jayne had received ("the baby would never know fear"). After sharing my thoughts with Richard, we announced the baby's name.
The next morning, I passed the placenta. In my previous birth of Abigail, it took two days to come out. We decided that it is probably quite normal for my body to retain it for a day or so. We weren't worried this time like we'd been with Abigail because we'd seen the Lord come through for us that time; it was easier this time to trust him.
We made bonding a priority, as we had learned our lesson from Abigail's birth, rather than running around showing her off. This time, we stayed at home. Richard, Mum, and Emma-Jayne tended to Abigail while Faith and I got acquainted.
The Lord is teaching us a lot and I think we are growing more than our children! At times, I lament that mothering isn’t easy, but I know the Lord is pruning me [Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit. - John 15:2], cutting away the unnecessary branches so I can bear more fruit [But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law - Gal 5:22, 23]. It's in the trials of parenting that this fruit comes forth. Of course, it would be so much nicer if I could awake in the morning and already be loving, patient, etc., with my children. But my longsuffering and gentleness come to fruition as my 2-year-old tests the boundaries; my temperance and peace are manifested as I love on my baby during her "fussy" times.
I believe God brings children into our lives to continue to shape us into His image. I believe the children he gives us will be precisely for the aspect of character he wants to bring out in us. With Abigail (the name means "father of joy; cause of joy"), he began to develop the joy of parenting in Richard and me. I held fast to Psalm 113 that God was making me a joyful mother, even if at times I felt more overwhelmed than joyful [He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD. - Psalm 113:9].
Now God has added Faith to our lives. Oh, how convicting her name is when I say it. The name is a continual reminder to be trusting in God and not myself -- a challenge for me to put my faith into action to be a doer of God's Word and not a hearer only.
And so I find that my fear of mothering two children was unfounded. For I so love Faith that I could not imagine life without her, and I thank the Lord that He saw fit to bring her into our lives.
As excited as I was to be pregnant again, I was also afraid -- excited to be carrying another "reward from the Lord [Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. - Psalm 127:3], yet fearful about becoming a mother of two when I was still adjusting to being a mother of one! I struggled to trust the Lord and his timing and the truth that he would strengthen and equip me when the new child arrived.
God blessed me with a very comfortable pregnancy. Also, I continued to exercise throughout the pregnancy which I am certain benefited me during labor and recovery.
My mother and my dear friend Emma-Jayne both flew from New Zealand to join us for the birth. Their visit itself was a step of faith, as only the Lord knew the precise day of birth (the so-called "due date"). We hoped and prayed that the birth would occur during their stay, while also accepting that God may have something different in mind.
My "due date" came and went with no signs of imminent labor. We weren't worried, as we knew the "due date" is merely man's estimate. I had a feeling I wouldn't be carrying this baby as long as I'd carried Abigail (43.5 weeks); nevertheless, I trusted in the Lord's perfect timing.
Each day I watched for those "pre-labor" signs, but didn't notice any. God reminded me of His words in Proverbs 3 [Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil. - Proverbs 3:5-7].
I had an inkling then that this birth would be quite different from Abigail's. So I was reminded that having one birth under my belt, so-to-speak, did not make me an expert.
So when I did go into labor, I was completely surprised. I was 41.5 weeks pregnant and woke up in the early morning to find that my waters had started to break. I woke Richard to tell him, to which his response was an AWESOME prayer committing the birth to the Lord. We checked the time; it was 4 am. Richard told me to rest and relax, and then he went back to sleep. I was too excited to go back to sleep, but I did relax and enjoy the mild contractions, knowing my body was doing what it needed to bring forth this child.
The mild contractions changed to more painful ones, and my soft groaning woke Richard at 6:30 am. Richard timed the contractions at 5 minutes apart. I couldn't believe the intervals were that short already. We started to talk about a birthing place and decided to head to the nearby familiar river ("where the river flows into the ocean"). Abigail awoke as if on cue, so we took her with us. We stood in waist-deep water while Abigail splashed around by the riverbank. She would come over and hug me during contractions which, while incredibly sweet, eventually became too much of a distraction for me.
We decided to wake my Mum and Emma-Jayne. So Richard waited for me to have the next contraction and then raced to fetch them back at our encampment, where we have been sojourning in tents for nearly three years. Emma-Jayne had momentarily left the camp to go for a walk along the beach, but my Mum came down and tended Abigail. I was able to relax then, knowing Abigail was being looked after. Emma-Jayne returned from her sandy stroll minutes later, joining Richard and me in the water.
It was difficult for me to get comfortable in the river. During each contraction, I tried a different position, but nothing seemed to work. However, I had amazing peace between contractions and I marveled that the labor seemed easier. The contractions went from 5 minutes to 3 minutes as I moved into the transition stage which, according to Emma-Jayne, continued for about 90 minutes. I vomited a few times, and to me that was the only clue that I "might" be in the transition stage; I felt I was going to be in labor for most of the day.
My biggest battle was in my mind, even though I had avoided filling my mind with research and birth accounts which can promote unnecessary fear (the spirit of which would then be visited upon me in my time of greatest vulnerability). I still struggled because the birth differed from Abigail's; I also feared the baby might not be in an optimal birthing position.
Finally, I shared this fear with Richard and Emma-Jayne; Richard immediately prayed and rebuked that spirit of fear. The event progressed very quickly thereafter. I felt incredibly peaceful and decided even if I was in labor the rest of the day, the Lord would sustain me. Emma-Jayne also encouraged me with a word she received from the Lord during her walk on the beach, which was that our child would never know fear and would be strong in the Lord. With this "different" labor, I was having doubts about the outcome; however, Emma-Jayne's words greatly comforted me.
At the river, I was struggling to keep warm. It was early morning, cloudy, and windy; it had rained the previous night. We tried several things (blankets, plastic sheets, body hugs, hot packs) to keep me warm, but they were not effective. Figuratively speaking, for every two steps forward, I took one step backward. So, after three hours at the river, Richard suggested we go back to the camp and use a poly tub (a Rubbermaid stock tank, 100 gallons, with its drain plug missing) that had been abandoned on the property. It sounded great to me, so Richard quickly left the river to set it up, while Emma-Jayne helped me shuffle slowly back toward the camp.
Back at the camp, Richard hurriedly connected a series of garden hoses, then ran it the distance to the property owner's utility sink and attached it to the "hot" side of the faucet. Running back to the camp, he hosed off the old tub and stuffed a receiving blanket into the drain, then returned to the utility sink to turn on the faucet.
Emma-Jayne and I reached the camp. Mum and Abigail played outside the tent while Emma-Jayne helped me step into the tub and started filling it with water. My back ached, so I asked her to spray the water on my back while she filled the tub. Ahhhhh, what relief! I could relax now, knowing I was going to warm up. Another thing I liked is that I could bite the side of the tub during contractions
Finally, I was comfortable; I knew this was the place I wanted to be, particularly if I was to have a longer labor.Little did I know, I didn't have long to wait. At the river, I'd been frustrated with my contractions because they weren't the "pushing" kind. However, after only 20 minutes in the tub, I was surprised by the sudden urge to push. Emma-Jayne kept her hand positioned on my lower back to apply counter-pressure. I remember at one point, she removed her hand and I quickly told her to replace it. I started telling the baby to come out, and then pushed again. It was painful, but I didn't tear. With a couple of yelIs, I pushed the head out and then there was a brief delay before the rest of the body came out; to me it seemed like an eternity. Emma-Jayne lifted the baby out of the water and everyone started to cry. The baby was magnificent, covered in vernix, looking and handling like it had been buttered. I was instantly in love. Words fail to describe the intensity of my feelings at that moment.
Abigail was present throughout the birth; she seemed "amazed" but very calm, still being tended by my Mum. My yells during the final push had frightened her, and she whimpered a bit as Richard comforted her.
The baby exuded a small amount of mucous, so I held the baby upright and let it drain. She started nursing straight away like a pro. After about 10 minutes, Richard performed a "gender check" and declared we had another girl!
When Richard announced the time of birth as exactly 10 am, Emma-Jayne blurted out that the Lord had spoken to her the same -- that the baby would be birthed by 10 am! She had refrained from sharing that info beforehand, as she did not want to discourage or otherwise stumble me in my "mental battle."
Our baby girl had "pinked up" nicely; she and I stayed in the tub for two hours. I was oblivious to the time throughout the labor, but my spectators informed me of the details
Mum and Abigail fed me black licorice (which I'd been craving). We cut the cord about 11:00 am; I got out of the tub at noon. I showered off, passed some blood clots, but still hadn't passed the placenta. The baby and I went into our tent and spent the rest of the day bonding.As I nursed the baby and rested, I thought about a name for her. I didn't really have any names picked out, as I find it hard to name a child I haven't seen yet, and the names I had previously considered now seemed inappropriate. I believe a child should be named either for its destiny or for the spiritual events that happen before, during, or after its birth. As I was thinking about this and about my battle with fear, I realized that the opposite of fear is Faith. As soon as that name came into my mind, I knew that Faith was to be the baby's name. It also lined up with the word from the Lord that Emma-Jayne had received ("the baby would never know fear"). After sharing my thoughts with Richard, we announced the baby's name.
The next morning, I passed the placenta. In my previous birth of Abigail, it took two days to come out. We decided that it is probably quite normal for my body to retain it for a day or so. We weren't worried this time like we'd been with Abigail because we'd seen the Lord come through for us that time; it was easier this time to trust him.
We made bonding a priority, as we had learned our lesson from Abigail's birth, rather than running around showing her off. This time, we stayed at home. Richard, Mum, and Emma-Jayne tended to Abigail while Faith and I got acquainted.
The Lord is teaching us a lot and I think we are growing more than our children! At times, I lament that mothering isn’t easy, but I know the Lord is pruning me [Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit. - John 15:2], cutting away the unnecessary branches so I can bear more fruit [But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law - Gal 5:22, 23]. It's in the trials of parenting that this fruit comes forth. Of course, it would be so much nicer if I could awake in the morning and already be loving, patient, etc., with my children. But my longsuffering and gentleness come to fruition as my 2-year-old tests the boundaries; my temperance and peace are manifested as I love on my baby during her "fussy" times.
I believe God brings children into our lives to continue to shape us into His image. I believe the children he gives us will be precisely for the aspect of character he wants to bring out in us. With Abigail (the name means "father of joy; cause of joy"), he began to develop the joy of parenting in Richard and me. I held fast to Psalm 113 that God was making me a joyful mother, even if at times I felt more overwhelmed than joyful [He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD. - Psalm 113:9].
Now God has added Faith to our lives. Oh, how convicting her name is when I say it. The name is a continual reminder to be trusting in God and not myself -- a challenge for me to put my faith into action to be a doer of God's Word and not a hearer only.
And so I find that my fear of mothering two children was unfounded. For I so love Faith that I could not imagine life without her, and I thank the Lord that He saw fit to bring her into our lives.
