Struggling with my church and need some wise council

[patrick]

I accepted the Lord into my heart over a year ago. My life since then has been a steady decrease of me, and an increase of Him. I've since visited over 50 churches trying to find a fellowship group that I liked and "felt right" about. It took me about a year, but I found one about 3 months ago and have been deeply involved since then. It is a Church of Christ.Since getting involved in this group, some really awesome things have been happening and some great changes have taken place in my life.My issue with this is becoming more clear as time passes. I see the pride that most of the members have with their Bible knowledge. No doubt these guys know the Bible, but it seems like that Bible knowledge gets used in condescending manner. Like getting smacked in the face with the Word of God. Like they are vultures circling overhead just waiting for you to make a mistake so they can quickly and enthusiastically correct you. This good in that we do need to be corrected if we do not understand Gods Word correctly, or don't know His Word at all. But there is a difference in offering help and guidance, and attacking you with the Word. I notice that I say things like "I let God weigh it on my heart to tell me where I'm supposed to be and what I'm supposed to be doing and have total faith that He will do His will, not mine" and then immediately get attacked with things like "how do you know it's God telling you these things and where in the Bible does it say to trust your deceiving heart". I know I'm just being misunderstood but when I try to clarify it there is no headroom being made. The more I try to explain and expand, the more I get smacked in the face with the Bible. I understand what is trying to be said to me, but I don't think that I am being understood properly because they are so eager to correct me using the Bible to prove things wrong instead of using it to see what agrees with it. I feel that my walk in faith has more presence in my life as an infant 1 year old Christian than it does in their lives as grown children in God. When I try to explain it I get shot down instantly. It seems like 20 against 1 at times.In addition to this, there are doctrinal issues that I am struggling with. The main one being that baptism is NECESSARY for salvation. It has been presented to me and backed up with an abundance of verses, but there are also verses that back up that believing in your heart and confessing with your mouth brings salvation. I struggled with this and for a time adopted this doctrine, but the more I read and the more I speak with elders outside of the church, the more it seems to be a false requirement proposed by man, not God. I'm not trying to change their doctrinal beliefs because that is just part of what a Church of Christ is about. But I'm questioning if I can fellowship properly with this church group considering the massive discrepancy in beliefs on a key issue like salvation.I have prayed on this like crazy and spoke with lots of wise council and have come to the conclusion that I need to stay around to serve as an example of the fire of the Lord burning inside. I've noticed that prayer has become more prevalent since I've been coming around and pointed out the lack of prayer. I've also noticed that fellowship as a group has increased as well because I pointed out the lack of fellowship related to God. I have had some awesome things happen in my life and I've seen some good changes in the church because of my presence as well. But there are other ares that seem like nothing is being accomplished and almost like I am trying to change them in certain ways and they are trying to change me in certain ways and those ways conflict on some level. I feel that for now I need to stick around and pray and let the Lord do His thing. If I'm not supposed to be there, I feel the Lord will let me know.Those are the basic dilemmas and I could really use some wise discernment from an outside perspective. Thanks in advance for your input.

 

[Christina]

What church you attend is a very personal decision, everyone has a different opinion No one can tell you if you are in the right place but you.I can tell you a couple things Your time fellowshipping with God should be joyous time not a stressful time. You should be learning in a constructive wayas Christ taught Not by intimidation. In revelation there are 7 churches spoken of that are types of the churches today only two were teaching what was pleasing to God (Smyrna & Philadelphia)does your church teach what these two churches taught ? Your description leads me to believe they are more concerned with judging ones actions rather than understanding whats in ones heart, and sense only God can judge its makes me suspicious. I do not know you or your church so I am not passing judgment but my instincts tell me that God has already told you the answer (that you are not where you belong). You just don't want that to be true, after you thought you found what you had searched so long for. I think your battle is between what God has already put on your heart and what your mind wants to be true. As far as the baptism thing you are right it is only required is that you have baptism of the heart. Not that there is anything wrong with water baptism, but if they are saying that is the only way to salvation they are incorrect.Hope this is helpful to you

 

[patrick]

Thank you for that thoughtful reply! I do see that this is not the church for me long term. I myself cannot feel comfortable preaching to someone that they are not saved until being baptized when I have no way of knowing since it is a personal thing between each of us and our heavenly Father and only He know for sure. I'm just struggling with leaving the church. It will probably be a slow thing over a period of time.

 

[Christina]

In the mean time we would welcome you here we are not affilated with any particular church just teach the bible we love questions no matter how big or small all learn from questions and answers hope to see you around the boardGod bless to youkriss