Thinking About Self-care

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DuckieLady

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No matter what you're going through, self-care is up there on the list of priorities. I'm not good at it.

Woke up earlier than usual this morning and was sort of confused about what to do. What on earth are you supposed to do while everybody else is asleep and it's still dark? All of the important work is noisy and off limits.

I have some things to get done today, so I didn't want to go back to sleep. I went and made a cup of tea, did some stretches (in the dark!), worked on a couple of pressure points, got a couple of knots of out my neck, slathered on some bag balm and collagen cream, took my supplements. That's about it. I'm not a makeup person. I use Carmex.

Some of these things are things I never get to do and wouldn't have gotten to while everyone was awake. During the day, it wouldn't be self-care anymore and it would be stressful. Feel like I just went to the spa and improved my mood. A lot more relaxed.

Got me curious about what you all do for self-care and what helps you.
 

Mayflower

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No matter what you're going through, self-care is up there on the list of priorities. I'm not good at it.

Woke up earlier than usual this morning and was sort of confused about what to do. What on earth are you supposed to do while everybody else is asleep and it's still dark? All of the important work is noisy and off limits.

I have some things to get done today, so I didn't want to go back to sleep. I went and made a cup of tea, did some stretches (in the dark!), worked on a couple of pressure points, got a couple of knots of out my neck, slathered on some bag balm and collagen cream, took my supplements. That's about it. I'm not a makeup person. I use Carmex.

Some of these things are things I never get to do and wouldn't have gotten to while everyone was awake. During the day, it wouldn't be self-care anymore and it would be stressful. Feel like I just went to the spa and improved my mood. A lot more relaxed.

Got me curious about what you all do for self-care and what helps you.

Im not a morning person, so bedtime is a usually my only time of day without kids. I have kids at work, kids at home. LOL. I have had a babysitter maybe twice since Lorena has been born. Otherwise, it has just been Bobby and me. And we do quite wonderful. In a way, it has been very good. I am like that Cathy cartoon and my thinking goes way into the gutter. So my self care today looks more like affirming who I am in Christ and other things, like "Shara, you are doing a good job. Shara, you got this done today, and that is enough." I thought about making me my own sticker chart. LOL. Getting the laundry done and floor cleaned up is an accomplishment to me some days.

But sometimes, self care is just internet time. Getting away when I can't really get away. Taking time for me. Video gaming or doing something fun when the kids are asleep.
 
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DuckieLady

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@Mayflower I'm not a morning person either, so much that I barely remember writing this. I remember being woken up and thinking I was just going to start the day at 4 AM. I didn't know what else to do and fell asleep. But my neck feels great and my knees are soft!

I think that when I am under high stress, I will either working on things REALLY late or wake up RIDICULOUSLY early and do things and go back to sleep. Either way, I don't always really remember feeling entirely conscious at that time but I wake up and things are done. I have no idea why I do this and I don't know what causes it. I haven't done it in about 3-4 years until this morning.

I like the sticker chart idea! I am a little ADHD so a schedule feels almost impossible. I have found I can only write things down on ruled index cards and just work on those because I am not going to remember any other system at all. I am the most inconsistent person ever. I apparently made myself a nice list on YouTube this morning to watch about this. :confused:

Oh my goodness. Going to pray you get a break and some you time anyway. I am long distance from all of my family. I'm in WA, my mom lives in ND, my dad in another state, and that's it for family for me. (That I talk to.) No help. It's been well over 8 years since I had one day with no kids at all around me, so I get it, seriously. Actually I'm gonna go pray for you right now.

Sometimes I sit in the bathroom and eat gas station cookies in the dark just for the quiet. :oops:
 

quietthinker

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My kids have grown and dealing with little ones is a just a faded memory. 'Daddy will you wipe my bottom' stands out.

Today it's solo living but being organised is essential if I want to live in relative comfort and at peace, particularly in this high maintenance environment....it allays all those thoughts and anxieties of 'I should have done this' or, 'I didn't do that'......and the list keeps getting bigger rather than smaller.

These are my primary objectives practiced for self care.....and not necessarily in this order

1 don't blow it all out the whistle
2 leave it as I find it or better
3 say what I mean and mean what I say
4 keep my body agile and able
5 ingest mostly healthy things
6 don't listen to or read sh.t and don't talk it
7 listen....read between the lines
8 stay in communication with God in all circumstances.....even while I sleep.

I know about the seductions/distractions out there and have experienced a loss of direction......its more difficult than staying on track.

One more thing......habit is critical....it sits in the drivers seat.
 
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quietthinker

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@Mayflower I'm not a morning person either, so much that I barely remember writing this. I remember being woken up and thinking I was just going to start the day at 4 AM. I didn't know what else to do and fell asleep. But my neck feels great and my knees are soft!

I think that when I am under high stress, I will either working on things REALLY late or wake up RIDICULOUSLY early and do things and go back to sleep. Either way, I don't always really remember feeling entirely conscious at that time but I wake up and things are done. I have no idea why I do this and I don't know what causes it. I haven't done it in about 3-4 years until this morning.

I like the sticker chart idea! I am a little ADHD so a schedule feels almost impossible. I have found I can only write things down on ruled index cards and just work on those because I am not going to remember any other system at all. I am the most inconsistent person ever. I apparently made myself a nice list on YouTube this morning to watch about this. :confused:

Oh my goodness. Going to pray you get a break and some you time anyway. I am long distance from all of my family. I'm in WA, my mom lives in ND, my dad in another state, and that's it for family for me. (That I talk to.) No help. It's been well over 8 years since I had one day with no kids at all around me, so I get it, seriously. Actually I'm gonna go pray for you right now.

Sometimes I sit in the bathroom and eat gas station cookies in the dark just for the quiet. :oops:
Romans 10:9....this was my flagship verse in my younger years along with John 10:28. It gave me comfort in turmoil like no other.
 
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Irwin Fletcher

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It's always good to keep an eye on our own temperature gauge to make sure we are okay. Alone time is important, especially if you are an introvert, but everyone needs it. Keeping a strong connection to God during the busy years of little and growing kids is difficult. Here are just a few of the life-giving things my wife and I did that helped us make it through those years. (Our youngest is 15 now).

  • Teach the kids to go to bed well and on time. Our kids had a regular bedtime and when they were little, our house was quiet and peaceful by 8-8:30 every night. This allowed us the freedom to go to bed if we needed rest, get some time together, watch a movie or just enjoy the quiet. We were so grateful for this.
  • Work with your spouse or a good friend or two to get alone time when you need it. We couldn't afford baby sitters most of the time, but we developed good friendships with friends from church and would give each other date nights and the moms would give each other breaks to get away. This wasn't all the time, but at least monthly.
  • Be okay letting some things not get done when you are too tired. There is always tomorrow and sometimes rest is most important. A good friend of mine says "sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is take a nap"
  • Help your kids find good busy activities that will keep them occupied. Teach them that good non-digital activities like crafts or play are a good thing.
  • Learn to listen to things when you are busy. We really like audiobooks, but encouraging talks/sermons and scripture and music are life giving and allow you to double dip by doing something while your hands are busy. These can also give a little bit of the adult encouragement that a parent stuck with kids a lot misses.
  • Give yourself some unrushed moments with kids every week, where you can really enjoy them.
  • Simple is fine for meals when it is needed
  • Talk to God about your needs daily. He loves you and wants to give you peace.
 
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