What is Modesty Really?

[Wynona]

Three aspects of modesty: Attitude, Appropriateness, and Appearance

Attitude

The heart of a modest woman wants to draw attention and glory to the Lord rather than herself. She does this by letting her looks take a backseat to the good works she does for God (1 Timothy 2:10).

True beauty for the Christian woman comes from a meek and quiet spirit (1 Peter 3:4).

Appropriateness

The modest woman is not flirtatious with strangers or suggestive in any way outside marriage (Ephesians 5:3) She guards her heart from temptation and refuses to willfully be a temptation to others.

Modest dress is not enough if a woman's actions and way of speaking are immodest.

Modesty acts and dresses in a way that is appropriate for the situation and doesn't seek to show off expensive clothing (1 Timothy 2:9)

Appearance

The reason Christians wear clothes at all is to represent the sacrifice of Christ covering our sin. The first example of this is God replacing the fig leaves Adam and Eve sewed together with animal skins (Genesis 3:21) Animals shed their blood for the skins and their nakedness and shame were covered.

We want our dress to reflect this and not expose our nakedness to the world. There are many modesty standards Christians have convictions on but just sticking with Scripture, we should be sufficiently covered, not seeking to dress like the opposite sex, and practice moderation in how costly the clothes are. Our clothing shouldn't distract from our character or service of others.

This is a joyful way to be set apart for God. It's a beautiful thing to dress like we belong to God's Kingdom and be different from those without Christ.

 

[Bob]

Thank you for your wonderful post!

Ah: what can we do about the way students dress for school? Secularists preach freedom, but we seem to see freely disruptive behavior: after all, “if I can wear what I please, so I can do as I please.”

In many of the best schools, uniforms are standard, and there you find concomitant behavioral standards.

So: continue to preach the Good Gospel, especially to youth. Maybe we can help a few.

Blessings.

 

[Wynona]

Lovely

 

[Wynona]

 

[Wynona]

 

[Wynona]

 

[DuckieLady]

I do miss wearing skirts and dresses but it didn't fit for my life anymore once I started working.

@SERVANTedu would probably prefer it but I just have difficulty looking nice just in general lately. There's a lot of physical work lately and I really haven't figured out how to do both.

So lately to me modesty is just keep shirts at neck level and that's it.

 

[Wynona]

I do miss wearing skirts and dresses but it didn't fit for my life anymore once I started working.

@SERVANTedu would probably prefer it but I just have difficulty looking nice just in general lately. There's a lot of physical work lately and I really haven't figured out how to do both.

So lately to me modesty is just keep shirts at neck level and that's it.

heyyyy!!! its good to see you!

I would dress casual if I had to but only girly clothes give me joy.

 

[Rockerduck]

In all modestly, you and every Christian, male and female, should wear clothes that do not attract the attention of the opposite sex. Magazines push that on kids in every way. Adults are guilty of this too. You'll never be sixteen again, so everyone should dress like someone they would like to have coffee and conversion with. Those pictures above were not modest in my opinion, because of the form shaping. Romans 12:2 - and be not conformed to this world.

 

[Wynona]

In all modestly, you and every Christian, male and female, should wear clothes that do not attract the attention of the opposite sex. Magazines push that on kids in every way. Adults are guilty of this too. You'll never be sixteen again, so everyone should dress like someone they would like to have coffee and conversion with. Those pictures above were not modest in my opinion, because of the form shaping. Romans 12:2 - and be not conformed to this world.

I understand and respect those who reject form fitting clothes. I know a few sisters who won't display clothes fitted to the waist.

But I don't see avoiding attention of the opposite sex as altogether possible or clearly commanded by Scripture. I believe its fine to dress in a way your husband finds attractive, for example, as long as its publicly fitting when in public.

 

[Rockerduck]

I understand and respect those who reject form fitting clothes. I know a few sisters who won't display clothes fitted to the waist.

But I don't see avoiding attention of the opposite sex as altogether possible or clearly commanded by Scripture. I believe its fine to dress in a way your husband finds attractive, for example, as long as its publicly fitting when in public.

Then just ask Jesus if this clothing is appropriate to wear. Go out in public sometime and watch a woman you think dresses modest. Watch and see if any man turns to look at them after they walk by, then it's not modest, with or without your husband.
1 Timothy 2:9-10 -in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, 10 but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works.

 

[Wynona]

Then just ask Jesus if this clothing is appropriate to wear. Go out in public sometime and watch a woman you think dresses modest. Watch and see if any man turns to look at them after they walk by, then it's not modest, with or without your husband.
1 Timothy 2:9-10 -in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, 10 but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works.

It's unfair to judge modesty based on whether a man looks or not.

Dressing modestly can cause a woman to stand out if the other women are immodest. Women will attract make attention regardless because God made men and women attracted to one another. This is a good thing.

Some attention is unavoidable. Of course we should check with God and maybe our husbands but that's it. He won't fault women for other men's reactions if she's doing her best on her end to dress appropriately. Some will look because its a female.

I know because increasing my modesty standards actually caused me to stand out more in a lot of places.

 

[PGS11]

I would say dressing not to be attractive to the opposite sex or with that in mind its not the signal your sending out dressing modestly.

 

[DuckieLady]

heyyyy!!! its good to see you!

I would dress casual if I had to but only girly clothes give me joy.

Good to see you too! I don't know. I have developed over the last year issues with texture. Anything ribbed or denim makes me really, really uncomfortable. So it's just a lot of sweatpants and LOOSE cotton pants. Which just looks unkempt.

Then just ask Jesus if this clothing is appropriate to wear. Go out in public sometime and watch a woman you think dresses modest. Watch and see if any man turns to look at them after they walk by, then it's not modest, with or without your husband.

No, simply because God has designed us to appreciate beauty. God designed us to appreciate twinklings in the stars and flowers in the garden and he created them. Just like God created men and women to both notice beauty in one another.

It's one way to dress like a prostitute and it's another thing to dress like a woman. If a man is more drawn to feminity in a covered woman than a lustful bombshell decorated up like a decoration for the world then maybe it's because he's an honest man searching for a woman after God's heart and if he notices, okay.

Now if he's staring and being a lustful, Jesus didn't blame the woman. He said for the man to take out HIS eye. That's HIS heart to deal with.

 

[Rockerduck]

Good to see you too! I don't know. I have developed over the last year issues with texture. Anything ribbed or denim makes me really, really uncomfortable. So it's just a lot of sweatpants and LOOSE cotton pants. Which just looks unkempt.


No, simply because God has designed us to appreciate beauty. God designed us to appreciate twinklings in the stars and flowers in the garden and he created them. Just like God created men and women to both notice beauty in one another.

It's one way to dress like a prostitute and it's another thing to dress like a woman. If a man is more drawn to feminity in a covered woman than a lustful bombshell decorated up like a decoration for the world then maybe it's because he's an honest man searching for a woman after God's heart and if he notices, okay.

Now if he's staring and being a lustful, Jesus didn't blame the woman. He said for the man to take out HIS eye. That's HIS heart to deal with.

I'll leave it at this. If Jesus is standing there, how would you dress to please Him. Because Jesus is always there.

 

[Augustin56]

Modesty is the virtue that moderates all the internal and external movements and appearance of a person according to his or her endowments, possessions, and station in life. Four virtues are commonly included under modesty: humility, studiousness, and two kinds of external modesty, namely in dress and general behavior.

Humility is the ground of modesty in that it curbs the inordinate desire for personal excellence and inclines one to recognize his or her own worth in its true light. Studiousness moderates the desire and pursuit of truth in accordance with faith and right reason. Its contrary vices are curiosity, which is an excessive desire for knowledge, and negligence, which is remissness in acquiring the knowledge that should be had for one's age and position in life. Modesty in dress and bodily adornments inclines a person to avoid not only whatever is offensive to others but whatever is not necessary. Modesty in bodily behavior directs a person to observe proper decorum in bodily movements, according to the dictum of St. Augustine, "In all your movements let nothing be evident that would offend the eyes of another."

 

[DuckieLady]

I'll leave it at this. If Jesus is standing there, how would you dress to please Him. Because Jesus is always there.

The same as I am right now and he would probably tell me it's time to get dressed because it's 11 am.

Every time in my life that God has directed me to do something it has always been very practical direction. As a result, I associate the character of God with diligence and practicality.

If, in character and outward appearance, you can represent the transcendentals, the attributes of God; that being truth, goodness, and beauty, then I think you are doing well and there shouldn't be too much worrying about it.

I am not doing well because I am renovating. There's a time for everything. *Shrug*

 

[Lambano]

I would say dressing not to be attractive to the opposite sex or with that in mind its not the signal your sending out dressing modestly.

I would extend that principle: Modesty in dress is dressing without the intent of drawing attention (sexual or otherwise) to oneself. That principle also applies to how we comport ourselves in public.

That principle was driven home by some articles on self-defense and traveling safely. Drawing attention to yourself also makes you a target. But on the spiritual level, modesty is like humility: It's not thinking less of yourself; it's thinking of yourself less.

 

[amadeus]

Modesty is the virtue that moderates all the internal and external movements and appearance of a person according to his or her endowments, possessions, and station in life. Four virtues are commonly included under modesty: humility, studiousness, and two kinds of external modesty, namely in dress and general behavior.

Humility is the ground of modesty in that it curbs the inordinate desire for personal excellence and inclines one to recognize his or her own worth in its true light. Studiousness moderates the desire and pursuit of truth in accordance with faith and right reason. Its contrary vices are curiosity, which is an excessive desire for knowledge, and negligence, which is remissness in acquiring the knowledge that should be had for one's age and position in life. Modesty in dress and bodily adornments inclines a person to avoid not only whatever is offensive to others but whatever is not necessary. Modesty in bodily behavior directs a person to observe proper decorum in bodily movements, according to the dictum of St. Augustine, "In all your movements let nothing be evident that would offend the eyes of another."

Php 2:3

Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.

 

[DuckieLady]

You know it's important for women to be able to be feminine. It really affects our self-esteem and the way we take care of ourselves and others.

Perhaps the men haven't really picked up on that, and I hope @Wynona would agree, but maybe God designed us to be that way because woman was made for the man. Songs of Solomon is full of both appreciating one another's features. God designed us to be that way.

I don't see the issue with Godly confident feminine women wanting to take care of themselves. I will say it outright. I don't believe many of the men understand, and especially unmarried men. The married men have probably lived with women long enough to understand how women are.

I told Mr. Duck last night I wanted a tea set for afternoon tea. He didn't agree at first. He said we have a tea set. (It's a Japanese set.) I said it's not the same for afternoon tea. I also told him a bunch of history about how tea time started for workers to refresh themselves. He is a VERY hard worker and has lunch with me at home. I make it. I take a break with him and we chat a little before he goes back. Blah,blah,blah. But that's beside the point.

I'm a firm believer that one of the most important things in a house is the table. Not much these days. Now it's phones, TVs, computers, laptops, and distractions that take away from home and family. Motherly hospitality is becoming a lost art.

It's a little expensive for a good set, but maybe less than a phone. You pay for it once if you take care of it.

It's pretty, elegant, and feminine. It might be a little vanity, but it's practical and serves a purpose. It brings community, routine, nourishment to the body, refreshment to the mind. Family is worth investing in.

My point is don't take away a woman's elegance. We are designed to bring hospitality, nurturing our families, bringing a feminine touch. We take care of our families, but we also need to take care of ourselves in order to feel mentally and physically healthy, so that we can do those things.

We aren't men. We're not meant to act like it.

Edit: By the way, if any of you plan to marry, a good hostess will have some skill in planning and hospitality. It's a blessing to your mother, but also serves in ministry.